Thursday, October 28, 2004

George W. The Curious Little Monkey


George W. The Curious Little Monkey
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

I'm sorry, I really couldn't help myself with this picture.

Herman Munster


Herman Munster
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

10/28/04 Kill your Idols or I finally understand why some species eat their young...

I didn't manage to post anything yesterday, as I have discovered the joy of ESPN's NHL 2K5 for xbox. It kicks serious ass. It's the closest thing to real hockey I'll see for quite some time. (This breaks my heart... )

It took me forever to pry myself away from the damn game. In fact as I type this, I feel like a junkie looking for a fix. I think I have the shakes. DETOX...ACK...

But I digress...

The American election is looming in the background. I wonder if this one is going to finish in the courts like the last one? Will these mediorce trail horses coast to the finish? Or will it be wild Kentucky Derby style, with the need for forensic photographic specialists? It's funny how domestic issues have taken a total and complete backseat in this gory fuckfest. No one seems to be mentioning the price of fuel, the loss of jobs or the fragility of the economy. (Not with any zeal at least...) This whole campaign reminds me of Ancient Rome. It's as if they are have a contest to see who gets to play the part of Nero. I can almost hear someone tuning a fiddle in the background. (plunk,plunk,plunk)

This is a battle between Herman Munster and a Monkey. Neither of them have any real substance to offer the electorate.The only loser, either way, is the American public. The biggest issue flung about with any frequency is the security of the Homeland. (That kind of vocabulary spooks me... "Homeland" It sounds a little too Naziesque for my comfort...Mind you, if Schwartzenegger gets his wish, there may be lots of Nazi terminology bandied about.)

Both of these yahoos think that the war on terrorism can be won. More to the point, they both think that they can convice the average Joe, that it can actually be won. This is much akin to the war on drugs... a total loser of a war. (At least judging from conventional methods currently being used...) Invading countries? Especially ones that had nothing to do with 9/11 won't get the job done. Blowing up half the world can really only do one thing... Incite more insurrection, more destruction, and more bloodlust. Oddly, this concept seems to have been totally missed. It seems like common sense right? Sadly, it's remarkable how uncommon common sense has become.

Generally people don't lash out unless there is a problem. (I'm taking it to the microcosm level here...) No one has taken the time to examine the root causes of the American terror attacks. I realize that It can be hard to turn the microscope on ourselves what with the cold harsh light of truth and all, But this should really have been done in this case. In every conflict, there are three sides. What they said, What we said, and the truth. (Absurdly, The last one usually takes the longest to get to the heart of... Let's see what the history books say in about 50 years...)

I have this dream. First, a giant snake eats Bush and Kerry. No one is really shocked. In fact, people generally seem quite contented by this. When the giant basilysk come for dessert, Rumsfeld and Cheney disappear. Then for some reason, the dream cuts to John Ashcroft dancing and masturbating in front of an enormous bonfire. The first part seems obvious, as some species when pushed to the brink, will eat their young. The second part seems to relate to the fact that Ashcroft is nuts. But then again, It's my dream... perhaps I'm the fucked up one, but I doubt it.

For some reason I can hear Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" in my head. No good can come from this.

End of Transmission


Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Tim Stuart's Promo Pic


Tim Stuart's Promo Pic
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Stu Hughes, the Producer of FunnyFest, is having a benefit fot Tim's daughter on November 6th @ 8pm
It's being held at Barclays in The Sheraton Hotel in Eau Claire. Tickets are 15 bucks. Bring as many people as you can...

Monday, October 25, 2004

10/26/04 Tim

Today has been a weird day. I just found out that a friend of mine passed away. His name was Tim. He was a comic, Hypnotist, scam artist, single father, and a guy who was just trying to squeak out a living like the rest of us. I liked him.

Tim was the kinda guy that was way funnier as a human being, he was a quirky sort. I think that's what I liked best about him. He had a gentle voice, and boisterous laugh. He always had some get rich quick scheme, and it always seemed to blow up in his face. I never saw him get down about things. He'd just seem to smile, and start thinking about another way to try and cash in.

Tim always worked the roughst rooms on the planet. Biker bars, shitty pubs, and fleabag hotels were usually the highlights on his tours. As much as he claimed to hate them, I think he actually prefered it that way.

I remember doing a gig for him at the TOWN and Country Hotel in Forrest Lawn in Calgary. It was the scummiest place I had ever set foot into. On one side of the bar, there were Indians, and on the other, cowboys. Traditionally not a good mix, and this was no exception. The place went up like old dynamite. He just shrugged, and kept on with his act. Once the chaos petered out, he got control of the room again. I was amazed. He had got the crowd good and hot, When I hit the stage, it felt like being on stage at YUK YUKS. I don't know how he did it, but he did.

He always had a spot on stage for the new guy, and somehow always managed to tuck a little money into your pocket. It was never much, but he tried. That's more than I can say for a lot of other promoter / performers on the indy circut.

He liked raunchy jokes, the darker and nastier the better. I loved trying new material out on Tim. If he liked it, he howled like a crazed banshee. The first time I met him, he came up to me with praise for a joke I had done about the special olympics. I'd have to say, I liked him right from the start.

Tim was never a popular guy on the club circut. Most comics I 've met, had little good to say about him.(then again, most comics rarely have nice things to say about anyone...) He didn't seem to care. Neither did I.

Rest in Peace Tim Stuart. You will be missed.

End of Transmission

hand_xray


hand_xray
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

I have always thought that x-rays look neat.

10/25/04 Sprained Tumb

I managed to sprain my thumb last night. I fell out of a Pathfinder (The two door model, which can be tricky for a man just over 6ft...) while trying to get out of it, It was very icy last night. I put one foot down, and it slipped right out from under me. I smacked my hand so hard on the door, I thought i had broken it. Happily, I could still move everything just fine, but the muscle swelled up, and is still quite tender.

There I was sitting on the ground, in a sailor's costume, staring blankly. It's amazing how fast that shit happens. One micro second, I'm reaching out for the ground, the next SLAM!!! I became at one with the ground. The girls all came to my rescue, and Erin did a great job of patching me up.

Funny thing is, I remember thinking, "Gee, I hope I don't fall..."

Irony see... Your life is filled with irony.

Last night's shin dig for Colleen (Erin's aunt...) went well. it was a surprise costume party. (Hence the sailor suit...) It had an under the sea theme.

Other than a broken light lens, and having to order KFC at the last minute, things went as well as could be expected. 80 Baptists doing their darndest to have as little fun as possible. Minus the liquor and dancing. (here may lie the problem) I think we didn't realize how very repressed these people are. Nice enough folks, just not very enthused, and not too much fun at parties.

The girls all did an excellent job of setting things up. I think they are to be commended. From murals to balloon and streamers, and all the serving, it was truly great. They all kick ass. (Especially my wife, But I'm biased...)

Tearing everything down was easy enough. It took way less time than I thought it would.

anyhoo I'm kinda sleepy so...

End of Transmission

Jolly Roger


Jolly Roger
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

In keeping with Halloween, and because of my less than hidden desire to be a pirate, I've decided to post this,

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Kinnie Starr


Kinnie Starr
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Check out her website...

http://www.kinniestarr.com/

Friday, October 22, 2004

A Cherry Popsicle


A Cherry Popsicle
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

i'm having the most insane craving for a popsicle. I'm not sure why, especially given that it's minus 8 right now. Perverse yes... but what are ya gonna do?

10/22/04

I'm feeling most unispired these days. i can't seem to write jokes. I'm not sure why. It seems like the well is dry. I try, and that just does me no good. You can' t force a joke. I've tried... it gets you nowhere. I guess I'm content for the moment. I find it's always better to write when I'm stressed out. The venom seems to come out then.

The blog helps a little. At least I'm managing to get some thoughts out there. I just can't seem to find the funny. Not from a stand up perspective in any way, shape or form. It's like some cruel jinx. I'm sure the mental log jam will break soon, but it's really frustrating in the mean time.

I think I'm spending too much time tinkering with the political stuff too. It's hard not to concentrate on it, because it makes me so angry. I thought I had long since forgotten politics. But much like the Godfather, it keeps pulling me back in. (I think I'm a sucker for lost causes. I should investigate St. Anthony... he's the patron saint of all things hopeless.)

I'm supposed to have a costume for a party this weekend. I have no freaking idea what to dress up as. I hate costume parties. FUCK... I'm trying to be a sport about it. Hopefully I can figure something out. I don't want to disappoint my wife. I know she's really excited about it, and I want her to have a good time. I think sometimes she thinks I'm a wet blanket.

anyhoo time for sleep.

End of transmission

Thursday, October 21, 2004

The Other T-REX


The Other T-REX
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

a different kind of Dinosaur, for a different kind of age...

T-REX


T-REX
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

10/21/04 New specs, and a good haircut...

Well, I had today off. I like having days off during the week. Especially Wednesday. I got a lot done today. I went and got a haircut and I feel confident in saying that I no longer look like I have an albino bush baby growing out of my head.

I went to the eye specialist and got a new perscription. Now I can see better. Turns out, that the headaches I have been getting are related to my older glasses no longer being good for me. I went to one of those places where you can get glasses in about an hour. Turns out that the one hour thing is mostly bullshit, it took nearly 3 hours to get mine. They did a nice job though, and they were cheap.

I also managed to pic up a few little odds and ends. I got a copy of The Clash's "London Calling" in the new legacy pack. It has a DVD of footage of the band recording the album, and a disc of them jamming some of the tunes for the record. While the sound quality is awful, it's neat to hear some of the songs being hammered out. I got Erin a David Bowie dvd. It's from the tour we saw last winter. Last but not least, I got a copy of Ed Wood. I love that movie.

Last night I dreamt that I was a dinosaur. A big snarly T-Rex. I was stomping around, roaring, and from what I remember, giggling and generally enjoying every minute of it. I'm not sure what it means, but I bet it would be fun to be a big ole' Carnosaur.

Now, I'm picturing a giant lizard like creature with new glasses, listening to The Clash.

God, I have got to sleep.

end of transmission

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

10/20/04

I spent the whole working day in a shopping mall. I got to be the sheppard for 10 of my employees in a mall. From 6:30 am till 5:30 pm. It was long and boring. I'm glad yvonne was there. (althought I'm sure she was bored shitless...)

We spent the day counting foot traffic for a host of different entrances for this mall. Watching literally thousands of people spill out of office towers, and into two main shopping concourses. (While not rocket science, it lacked even the most basic creative challenges.)

It's amazing how you can totally shut your mind down. Countless hours of people walking by, with next to no human interaction. Now I know how mimes must feel.

While I was sitting on my bench, I saw a couple of people I used to work with, Both of whom have shiney new jobs that pay tons more money. I'm not jealous per say, but it was a bit of an impetus to look for a few more bucks. Who knows where that will lead...

I'm tired... I need to sleep.

I have a big day tomorrow. I'm going to try and get an eye appointment and a haircut. I might even make spaghetti tomorrow. One of my wife's favorites. if she's nice to me...

end of transmission

Monday, October 18, 2004

Mr. Potter (It's a Wonderful Life)


Mr. Potter (It's a Wonderful Life)
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Much like Cheney, This man (Lionel Barrymore) looks like he might want to chew on a pig's ear, or a soup bone.

It's remarkable how similar they are in appearence, and demeanor.

Dick Cheney


Dick Cheney
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

All this man is missing is a bowler hat, and a wheel chair.

10/18/04

Sunday nite television sucks. With the exception of The Simpsons, it's all crap. Sunday has officially become infomercial night. Everything from learning pilates, to hooking up with Dr. Ho, to calling actual ho's makes it on to television on Sunday night. I have never been much of a religious man, but Any sense of Sunday being a day of rest has been completely destroyed.

I spent most of the night cleaning the kitchen and doing some ironing. I am a domestic God. (well not really, but the likelyhood of an E. coli outbreak has been greatly diminished...) I even managed to head out to the grocery store. I only went to get a handfull of things, but as usual, I wound up leaving with 50 bucks worth of stuff. It was a chilly walk. The temperature hit a blamy minus 5 today. Burr... There is snow on the ground, and it seems to want to stay. it's only October. This is Crap.

I saw on the news that Bill O'reilly managed to get himself into a hill of shit. I love it!!! Everytime one of those right wing jack asses get themselves in trouble, I'm willing to bet an angel get it's wings. The conservative notion of "Family Values" really only seems to apply to the "other" guy.

Which reminds me...

Ever notice that Dick Cheney looks an awful lot like that evil old crotchity banker from It's a wonderful life?
Just a thought.

Anyway I need to sleep.

end of transmission.

gadzooks


Gadzooks
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

portrait of the sleep deprived...

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Saturday, October 16, 2004

10/16/04 If I had a rocket launcher...

I spent the day in the mall today. Erin went to get her hair cut, and I got to hook up with my little sister for a while. That was cool. I really like her. She's really quite funny.

We strolled around the mall, and window shopped mostly. I bought a few things, like a new mouse, a game for the xbox, and an identical pair of sneakers to the ones I was wearing, They were shit beaten, I had worn through the tread. Airwalks, circa 1986. My favorite sneakers ever. I'm so glad that they decided to make them again. I guess "Old School" is cool again. I just never really felt that I left it.

I did a couple of shows on Friday night. The first one went swimmingly, I must say. Big laughs, nice applause breaks, and some of the new jokes really started to take some shape. They were a great audience, attentive, and seemed to really enjoy themselves.

The second one started well, but became a train wreck later on. There was some good laughter, but they were young, and drunk. Some jokes, (esp one that normally destroys...) fell really flat. I got kinda cranky, and discovered I have a new way to deal with hecklers. I told them to suck my cock. Not exactly what you'd call genius on my part. Fuck them, I hate rowdy crowds. I hate hecklers even more, especially the drunk and mentally vacant ones. I mentioned that I was originally from Newfoundland, and this idiot started yelling out "UIC... UIC... UIC..." That just pushed my mood over the edge. I wanted to punch that ignorant motherfucker in the throat.

Thursday night was cool. My friend Emmo was in town, so we went for a few pints at the Ship and Anchor. It was kinda like old times. Hoisting a few jars of Alexander Keiths, and generally being up to no good. That used to be one of our main haunts. I've been going to that pub on and off for 12 years. How many things can you say you've done for that long? How many can I?

I used to know tons of people that hung out there. Happily, now I know no one that hangs out there. I like that. I have become more inwardly focused over the past few years. I discovered that I generally prefer my own company. Of course There are a handful of exceptions, my wife and family, and the small circle of friends that I have managed to keep over the course of the last decade or so.

It's hard to explain, but generally I find the noise, and the drama that people make, drives me crazy. it's like mental clutter. I have never really cared for personal politics, and I make haste in avoiding them. People get caught up into too many little "traps." I think that life is complicated enough without the need to walk into some sort of social bear trap, or to be handed some sort of public "Boris and Natasha" black bomb thingy. I like the quiet of my own head space.

End of Transmission



Friday, October 15, 2004

Not that far a stretch...


Not that far a stretch...
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

I'm afraid this might be the sequel to the funniest movie ever.

One of the funniest movies ever...


One of the funniest movies ever...
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Peter Sellers was a Genius. This movie makes me cry with fits of laughter.

The message of this movie is as important today as it was then. (If not more so...)

10/15/04 Great Reagan's Ghost...

Well, last night's show went well. I tried some new stuff, and it worked well. The crowd, (older than I'm used to...) was into what I was talking about. I like that. I'm starting to feel free on stage. I think I finally get that I'm in control. It's a good feeling for sure.
But I digress, on to other stuff.

Yet another non-debate for Bush and Kerry last night. I have lost all hope that Kerry is capable of beating Bush. The man can't seem to muster any credible conviction. He's like a flaccid lettuce leaf. Totally useless. I really hope someone finds a way to beat Bush. I really feel that he might be responsible for bringing on the Apocalypse.

I wish my government would back off on the Missile Defense Shield. What could we Canadians hope to gain by playing along with this pile of crap? This giant "laser" in space nonsense thing is going to make the Kennedy magic bullet theory seem like the most plausible cover story ever. It reeks of certain disaster.

This is how I imagine the decision to create this insane project was conceived.

President: "Gentlemen... How do we protect Fortress North America from the evil brown people?"

A swath of hands go up.

Lackey #1: "How about sincere Foreign policy, and full transparency with the nations we deal with?"

President: "Nope... too risky... and we don't get to spend all that money we took away from the school lunch program..."

All: roaring with laughter

Lackey #2: "How about respecting international law, and forging a healthy working relationship with the United Nations?"

President: "Too clever, other countries would never buy it. They'd know we were up to something... and Halliburton and Microsoft wouldn't give me any re election money..."

Lackey #3: "I know Mr. President... How about a Shield? You know... A Big one!!! In space even..."

President: "Great Reagan's Ghost... that's Genius... Johnson!!! Call the Pentagon!!!"

This may be the biggest sucker's bet ever. It reminds me of the "Monorail" episode of The Simpson's. I wonder if Dubya has ever seen it? From the looks of it, probably not.

End of transmission

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

10/13/04 I've got the it's hump day, and I'm feeling restless blues...

Well, I'm having my usual Ham and Cheese sandwhich for lunch. God I've become a creature of habit. Given the choice (or worse, being left to my own devices...) I willl always have a ham and cheese on brown. I know it's boring, but I love it. I always have.

Work doesn't seem to be as hectic, as it has been of late. I feel a little better grounded lately. I'm still not sleeping well, but at least I don't feel as stressed. Agata got back from Poland, and is back at work, which is really nice. She brings a sanity to our little slice of the corporate world.

I'm still out of sorts as to what kind of sporting events I will pay attention to this fall. With the NHL down and out until the lockout is resolved, I'll be twiddling my thumbs. Perhaps Lacrosse might fill the void. (but I doubt it...) Someone mentioned basketball, but fuck that, I hate that sport. I find it boring.

I may have a show tonight, I'm not too sure yet. I hope so, I love being on stage. It makes me feel alive. It's almost as if there's an electric current running through me, when I bathe in it's bright spotlights. I feel like Superman.

I have been listening to NPR at work lately. Today's topic was about the death penalty and executing minors. Apparently, even countries that have brutal justice schemes, like Iran have pronounced that executing minors is horriffic and immoral. Infact, according to NPR, the only nation left on earth that sees fit to execute minors is the United States. For a country that is supposed to be bringing civility and democracy to nations like Afganistan and Iraq, they do a piss poor job of leading by example.

anyhoo more later...

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Jello Biafra


Jello Biafra
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

The former leader of The Dead Kennedys. A punk iconoclast, and pioneer of the American punk scene.

Currently he is on the lecture tour, and is mesmerizing to meet in person.

He owns a record label called "Alternative Tentacles" and is a good friend to the anti Bush movement.

Eddie Izzard


Eddie Izzard
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

This man is very, very, very, funny. You should check out "Glorious" and "Dress to Kill" Some of the funniest, brilliant stand up I have ever seen.

He takes the time to build a relationship with the audience, so they will go where he wants them to. Very clever, hip, and right on the button every time.

He has a very keen sense of history, and he's not afraid to use it.

Billy Bragg


Billy Bragg
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Another one of my favorite singers. He reminds me of Joe Strummer. He sings from the heart. I really like his politics too.

The world needs more Billy Braggs!!! He supports unions, freedom of speech, and behaving in a civilized fashion to our fellow man.

He's a rare bird indeed!

Monday, October 11, 2004

bad religion


bad religion
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

I have a soft spot for Bad Religion. Pop harmonies, super politically charged lyrics, and rip saw guitars.

You can't get better than these guys. 20 plus years and still going strong. Fuck you enegizer bunny!!!

Molly Ivins


Molly Ivins
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

This woman is remarkable. A well spoken realist with a wicked sense of humor. You should read her books. Esp "Bushwacked" it's a great read.

michael moore


michael moore
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

See... Michael's got a flag... and he seems happy to be holding it too!!! The way some people tell it, you'd swear he'd be happier burning it.

I wish that people would see that what he is doing is a blessing for Americans. Sometimes the only thing that can fix a problem is the cold, harsh light of truth.

The Funniest book ever


The Funniest book ever
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

What the fuck is this? This has got to be some kind of prank... genius? Really? The man can barely string words into a cohesive sentence.

john.ashcroft


john.ashcroft
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

This man seems to have done a lot of drugs. Perhaps in the last several minutes... He's the top dog at the US Department of Justice. Really he shouldn't even be able to run a Kinko's...

He's a great singer... You should hear his ballad "Let the Eagle fly"

10/11/04 Michael Moore... VS. THE RETARDED RIGHT WING...

Well, I've spent the last few days away from my computer. I needed to let my brain rot in front of my xbox for a while. I needed a break.

Today we watched FAHRENHEIT 911 again. I hope that Michael Moore makes tons more documentaries. I like his style. Frank and unforgiving. I find his tenacity is refreshingly honest, esp in an era of total and complete political chicanery. I'm amazed that certain elements (ie. the Right wing...) in the United States think that he hates America. I get the distinct impression that the opposite is the actual truth. I think that he loves his country. Sadly, the love it or leave it crowd don't understand his intentions.

I found this website, posted by an extemely venomous person(s), who has stooped to personal attacks, and insults to try and get a point across. (Now I'll admit I'm guilty of this with more frequency than I'd like...) It's been my experience that this kind of defensive behaviour usually occurs when someone can't deal with the truth. Take a look at the site... Perhaps post a differing opinion. The response should be quite entertaining.

http://www.dynamictruth.com/enemies/michaelmoore.html

They also call Janine Garofalo and the United Nations Enemies of "our" state. It's quite funny. Sad, but funny none the less.

The scale of their misplaced anger is mentally staggering. I really think that these people should stop reading USA Today, and change the channel when Springer is on. Read a book. Perhaps something that makes you think. I can't believe that Bush's plan caught them hook line and sinker.

Bush's leadership skill set is what got America into trouble to begin with. Until 9/11 he was an absentee President. A lame duck. He had no mandate, and no real interest in domestic policy. (Hence the net loss of 2 million jobs since he took office...)

Not much has changed... He's still a lame duck, but now he looks more like Daffy Duck. Bitter and angry, and hell bent for war. Iraq is a disaster, his war has done nothing but stack dead bodies into two large piles. One marked "With us" and the other "Against us."

End of Transmission

Thursday, October 07, 2004

10/07/04 Communists, Shitty audiences...

I met up with my friend Diz today. We parted ways a few years ago, just simplely drifted apart.(As people do...) He created a new and different world for himself, as did I.

I enjoyed having him at the show tonight. It was nice to have him there to see what I have accomplished over the years. (Not as much as I would have liked to, but I digress...) While our lives have changed, there was something familiar and pleasant about him being there. It was a strange connection to the past, but it seemed to have created a bridge to the future, like we may have found common ground again. (I'm not sure if that makes to much sense, but what odds!?!)

We have a lot in common these days. Both of us are recently married, have the straight and narrow day jobs, and a renewed sense of adulthood.

New topic

I met a card carrying communist the other day. He was nice enough, but far too intense for my tastes. Life is already intense enough. Who needs to brood over academic political process that heavily? God, Commies need to read something for fun once in a while. Noam Chomsky is interesting, but heaven almighty, take a look at the funny pages before your head explodes.

I hate it when pesudo intellectuals argue over the intent of a written text. Sometimes it's okay to let go, live a little. Carpe Diem for Christ's sake.

New topic

The show was a little on the sloppy side. It didn't help that the audience was just not on my side this evening. Every joke was a dogfight for laughs. They were ooooooey. I really hate that. It derails a show. It's a refusal to commit to a joke. (They think it's funny, but are afraid to laugh because they are concerned about who is sitting around them.)


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

10/04/04 like a slapshot to the nuts...

I like to imagine that one day a great pain will be inflicted on those monkeys running the legislature in Edmonton. I'm praying for an NDP government. I've had enough of those pompous, sneaky, snake oil salesmen.

Now I know, That an NDP government has about as much of a chance of occuring as say, Stockwell Day becoming Prime Minister, or The Aryan Nation teaching sensitivity training, but it's a pipe dream of mine, and dammit I'm allowed.

I, like most Canadians, have noticed that King Ralph has this tendency to over react. When he got the pie in the face at the Premier's Stampede breakfast, he didn't suck it up. Laugh it off, or let it slide. (it's just a prank...) No, he wanted revenge. (Quite truthfully, the only people he should really be mad at, are the security people he employs.) Imagine, Ralphie looking like a jack ass, and for once it wasn't for something that came out of his own fool mouth. I can't in good conscience blame the kid. I'd have a hard time resisting the temptation myself.

The kid who creamed him is going to jail. For 30 days. FOR A PIE IN THE FACE. That is most socially retarded thing I have ever heard. (I think the kid should run for mayor of Calgary. With balls like that, perhaps some good things might actually get done in the city.) What kind of an idiot judge pronounces this justice? Geez, I'd hate to see the punishment for a few unpaid parking tickets. Sodomy at sundown? Pistol Whipping perhaps?

Ralph had the nerve to call this Kid a thug, and then denounced this brilliant and fitting act as anti social behaviour. Ralph, you really have to get over yourself. The whole King Ralph thing is a joke. But you knew that right?

This is the very same man who got smashed out of his gord, then ordered his limo driver to go to a homeless shelter, so he could hurl hateful, nay venomous, verbal barbs (and a few bucks) at the disadvantaged.

Anti social indeed. Ralph wrote the book on that one, What a big fucking hippocrite!!!
What kind of an evil fucking monster kicks people when they are down?

Mr. Klein, I hope that kid wins his appeal. I'm tempted to do a benefit to help him with his legal costs. You are a sad, hateful, little man. It is my fondest wish that one day you get a slapshot to the nuts... Oh wait, scratch that, you don't have any!!!


End of Transmission

Monday, October 04, 2004

10/04/04 The Great Hair Bleach Incident....

Vanity and boredom are an evil and unforgiving pair.

So, I'm sitting on the couch, and I remember "Hey, there's a hair dye kit in the bathroom cupboard." I thought some highlights would be a great idea. "Honey, wanna help me dye my hair?"(I have some greying hair, and the occasional box job hides it nicely.) Seems simple right? Fuck no!!!

The box had one of those highlight caps, but no hook to pull the hair through. Now I know what you are thinking... "He didn't decide to do the hole thing did he?" Damn Straight! Semper Fi...

Now judging from the picture on the box and the fact that reading instructions in not a strong suit of mine, it looked like my hair would just go a shade or two lighter. NOPE!!! I now know how Andy Warhol must have felt like. I'm a set of pink eyes away from being an albino. My hair looks like a fucking highlighter exploded.

Mind you, I'm not saying I don't like it. Just that it's a bit extreme.

New Topic...

I had coffee with Dizney today. It was great hanging with him. I sprung an idea on him. I want all of us to write a book. (Diz, Emmo, Russ, Chris, and myself) To tell stories from the DIY days. I want to get everyone's individual take on the instanity of our 20's. I think it would be a really good read.

I would get them to post blogs as they think about stories. Then we read them over, and write our own accounts. Sort of like the broken telephone game. It may give us some insight into each other. I think it will be a good story about how five guys, with very different personalities, struggled to find their own paths. Maybe we can come out of this closer to one another than we've been in a long time.

Or it could go into the shitter fast. Regardless... I think it will be good for us.

New Topic...

This year without hockey is going to suck. I had just gotten used to the Flames being a winning team again... and wham. This strike is rather short sighted. Remember what happened to Major League Baseball? That strike almost cost the league the whole shebang! At least no one has come up with the concept of replacement players. That would be horriffic.

End of Transmission

Down By Law


Down By Law
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

WOW, I'm really having a nostalgic music trip these days. This is one of my all time favorite bands. Dave Smalley, The front man for this band, has been in ALL, Dag Nasty, and Down By Law, Just to name a few... They Kick Ass. Good SoCal Punk Rock. One of the originals for sure.

doughboys


doughboys
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Canada's answer to The Buzzcocks. These guys used to explode like fire crackers on stage. They were a warp speed tumble weed of Dreads, and power pop.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

10/03/04 Larry David's Psyche and Recycling Papers...

What a lazy day. I got up at like 12:30. It was great, although I could have slept until late next week. It felt good to get some quality Snooze time.

I pissed most of the day away. I spent some quality time with my old pal XBOX. I've been playing Knights of the Old Republic, and dammit, I'm hooked. I love video games. They help me slow my brain down a little. When I'm really frazzled, Blowing a few things up really helps.

We took our newspapers back for recycling. It was a trek. We had a folding shopping cart full. The papers kept falling out. We got onto 14th st. and a bunch escaped into traffic. I felt like a lunatic trying to scramble them all together. I have to admit, I lost my patience. Once we got to the actual recycling bin I was fine, but Erin was cheesed with me. I'm begining to understand Larry David. More than understand actually, I think my psyche is morphing into something similar to his. I'm not so sure that's a good thing, but who knows.

End of transmission

The Descendents


The Descendents
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

I was feeling whistful for the Good old days. I love the Descendents. I'm so glad they got back together.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Ann Coulter


Ann Coulter
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

Ann Coulter... Now that's what I call a compassionate conservative. Happily, Her 15 minutes of fame are just about up!

10/02/04 Debate... What debate?

I listened to NPR's coverage of the US presidential debate last night. It was a pleasant debate. At least on the surface. There was a seething undercurrent, but it was carefully masked by a thin veneer of pleasant platitudes.

This was a chance for Kerry to really come out swinging. Instead, he smiled a lot, and kinda tried to fire a couple of pot shots, but never really connected on anything. Not the way he could have. Bush was an easy enough target.

I sat and waited for the knuckle duster, the full on sucker punch, and got nothing for my patience. He skirted around using strong, aggressive, and ultimately pointed language, and lolly gaged in trying to make his points. It was like watching a church committee try and decide whether they should serve lemonade or orange punch at the next family social. There was no commitment. Just lip service.

Bush is really lucky that he didn't have to weather the kind of storm that could have come his way. It's no big secret that public speaking is not his fortay. He's got a kind of "Pervert got caught in the porno shop" skill set. Full of um's and ah's, and repleat with mixed, and quite often confusing metaphors. Kerry should have riled him a little, and set a few verbal bear traps. Indeed, Mr. Bush is a very lucky man.

But the biggest disappointment is that it all seemed like a Coke vs. Pepsi taste test. "Do you like the shiny red can? or the shiny blue can?"

Given the amount of slander, libel, and character attacks, that this campaign has bandied about , I expected a show down at the OK corral. A real Godzilla vs. Mothra battle. What I got, was far far far less.

I (and I don't think I'm alone here) wanted this debate to be very much like two rhinos having a pissing contest, trying to mark their territory. It needed to be a clash of near galactic proportions, especially now In the post 9/11 era. Regretfully it was not. This election should be more important to both parties than it currently appears. There is more at stake here than a leadership race. Literally, the fate of the freedoms we enjoy are at stake, not to mention what (in addition to How) decisions about both international and domestic policy will be made.

Sadly, the after effects of this election will change the entire planet. We, likely will still feel it's impact for generations.

My country is laced very tightly to America, but we smartly (and smugly) passed on The war in Iraq. We Canadians seem to know a looser when we see one. Happily, we also tend to root for the underdog.

For the record, I like the shiny red can best. It tends to give me heartburn though.

end of transmission

Friday, October 01, 2004

10/01/04 Complicating the Complication...


I didn’t sleep very well last night. I’m not sure what compels me to stay awake. While all good people are asleep and dreaming, I stare blankly at a blinking cursor. Flashing at me, taunting me. It has a strange hypnotic quality to it. Maybe that’s what Microsoft really wants. People turned into zombies by it’s omnipresent and all powerful eye... the cursor.

It used to be that I would turn my brain into mush in front of the television. The slurring of moving pictures, and pretty shiny lights slowly melting away my need for independent thought, distilling resistance down to it’s lowest power setting.


But I digress, My closest friend in Calgary (Other than my wife...) has moved to Toronto, and I am feeling a little lost. I am the last one of the 4 who is left here in Calgary. Shane, Peter, and finally Brett have all made the journey to Ontario. I’m feeling out of sorts about that.

I have agreed to a few new gigs. Wed the 6th of Oct, in Calgary @ Yuk Yuks. Tues the 26th , in Lethbridge, and there are some guest spots in there as well.

More to come later.