Grande Prairie

This is a very different city than Calgary or Edmonton. This city is almost completely driven by the price of oil. There is very little in the way of diversification. Now is the boom time. (Thanks largely to our paranoid friends in the south.) Anyway, I thought I’d post a few pictures of my surroundings in Grande Prairie. Just to give you a sense of what it’s like here.



The street sign for Grande Prairie’s city centre. You’ll notice that the sign also says Alaska. Just how far north am I? In some ways this is kinda a frontier town. People here are a tougher sort, not like the white collar Calgary folk.



This is the actual venue for the gigs here. It in a hotel called the Trumpeter. It’s a nice enough place, clean and modern (ish). The staff is friendly and so far it’s been a pleasant experience. I just wish they had wi-fi in the rooms. (Gawd, I’ve gotten spoiled.



The venue for the gig is right next to the big dance bar here. Apparently it was supposed to be a Cowboys just like in Calgary, but the deal went sour. Now it’s called The Corral. I walked past it last night, just in time to see a typical drunk boy scrap. Yee Haw… I always think it’s kinda funny. These monkeys think that fighting is a rite of passage.



12 bucks an hour at Mc Shitty’s! It’s not hard to tell that oil is 75 bucks a barrel. I went in there last night, and no one was over the age of 15. Labor shortages are the norm here now.

Something I've learned...

Last night’s show was not well attended. There were a total of 10 people in the audience. It was another episode of what I like to call intimate and interactive stand up. Over the last little while I’ve discovered there are two types of comics, those who persecute small audiences and those who don’t.

When I started out, it seems natural to lash out in a small room. For some reason, ego almost seems to force that issue. I thought I was a star, brilliant beyond comparison. How could these people not appreciate that? How dare they not appreciate that! (I was an arrogant dick…)

Then as I got older, (and over myself…) I realized that these are the people that came to the show. If I were going to get mad, why would it be at them? These were the people who wanted to come and see the show. Why do they deserve to be treated badly? The only answer here is that they don’t!

Now don’t get me wrong, a misbehaved audience needs to be corrected every now and then, but that’s a different animal altogether.

I’m amazed when I see seasoned pros shit on a crowd for being (too) small. I would have thought they would have gotten it by now. Nobody ever pays to see a tantrum. More to the point no one wants to see a “professional” act like a spoiled child.

Sometimes, I think we forget that this is a job! The show is just as much about the audience as it is about my “pearls” of wisdom.

The waitresses here in Grande Prairie mentioned that it was nice to see comics that weren’t being dicks to the audience. That in itself is a sad commentary.

Working with Bobby has been a good positive reinforcement of that lesson for me. Nothing on stage seems to faze him. He’s as gracious with 10 people as he is in front of 300.

New on the ipod this week...

Anti Flag – For Blood And Empire

This is first major label release from Anti Flag. Usually when a band of this caliber jumps from the minors they release a stack of shit. This is not one of those records.

This is a near perfect soundtrack for those who are disaffected with our current political climate. From the first chord to the very last cry, it bleeds anger and frustration, and then surprisingly… hope.

The standout tracks are “Trillion Dollars” and “The Press Corpse.”

This disc has some of the most impressive liner notes I have ever seen. These are my favorite quotes from it.

“We have nothing to fear, but fear itself” Franklin Roosevelt.

“I have nothing to sell, but fear itself” George W. Bush.


This one rocks your lame ass!!!

Fairview...

So, I was in Fairview with Bobby Keele last night. Strangely the gig went off without much of a hitch. Normally it can be pretty chaotic. With an almost certainty, the audience is generally pretty foul and abrasive. (Truthfully that’s being polite…) Happily this was not the case last night.

While there were really only 9 people in the bar, (not counting the staff.) they were attentive. It helped a lot that there were a handful of Newfs who were homesick. I became a reminder of home, and that helped me to dig in and give them a decent show.

For the uninitiated, Fairview is a dirt bowl town in the Peace Country of northern Alberta. I would not be the first to point out that the town is poorly named. It is neither fair nor is their a view of any sort. If Calgary is the new body of economic might in Canada, then Fairview is its armpit. (A musty sweaty armpit…)

The venue is a run down hotel; its better days are very clearly long since gone. The staff, while pleasant enough, clearly has given up hope that the business will ever be an entertainment draw for the locals. I suspect that the weekly comedy show there is little more than a tax write off.

The interior of the bar has an unnatural greenish hue. It’s the kind of bar that looks like something out of a bad cowboy movie. (Without those fun flapping doors…) It’s grimy walls and carelessly looked after furniture lack any sense of invitation for potential patrons. You’d imagine that even rats might think twice before popping in for a cold one.

Its places like this that make a comic reevaluate his / her career. Normally it’s good to live in the moment on stage, but while you’re on stage in Fairview its much more likely to cause you to live in your last nightmare.

Traveling with Bobby has been good so far. I like him. At his best, he’s a good man (A little rough around the edges…) who has found his place in the world. At his worst, he’s a good drinking buddy. I’ve learned a lot, even just in the ride here. This is a true road warrior, with a quarter of century and a million miles of pavement under his belt.

Today starts the Grande Prairie leg of this little mini tour. Apparently it’s been a little rough here lately. I hope that things go well tonight. The last thing either of us needs is an unpleasant situation. That would suck.

I found out today that I’ve picked up a Calgary date. May 6th both shows. I’m looking forward to that. It’s been a while since I’ve played the club.

Anyway more tomorrow…

A Saturday by Any Other Name is...

Today feels like the longest day in human history. I’m tired, and I’m not sure why. I slept reasonably well, but I feel like I’m being dragged from behind a stagecoach. (Or at least what I imagine that to feel like.)

Work has been tedious today too. I feel surrounded by the minutia. Every detail is picking at me. My gang seems to be working well, (with notable exceptions who shall remain nameless…) and I’ve got a lot done, but there still seems to be tons to do.

It’s been almost a month since I’ve been on stage, and I’m getting a little itchy. Next week, I’m on the road, and I really need it. I feel as if I’m covered in rust. It will be nice to scrape it off.

Otherwise things are well. I’ve no real news to tell, and for once, nothing is really picking at my ass. I suppose I could beat up on the President a little more, but I’m feeling a little merciful right now. Besides I never really wanted this blog to be all about him anyway. (Regardless of it’s title)

Truth is this whole blog mess of mine was supposed to be about me, and while these are my thoughts, I should spend more time exposing my life. Oddly I’m a pretty private person, and it takes a lot to drag out who I really am.

What are the things that make me tick? This has been a hard question for me to answer. I’ve been stuck trying to figure out a lot of this.

I know I’m not a lesbian, or a Nazi, or an anarchist (although I love it when I see it…), I’m not big on pain, and I hate the colour yellow.

I don’t like eggplant, and I’ll never be a farmer. I like horses, cats, and dogs. I dislike cows, and I’m glad we eat them. The best thing about a cow is that it tastes great with BBQ sauce.

I like lots of different types of music, but punk will always be in my heart. I like music that reeks of reckless abandon.

I respect the armed forces, and am willing to admit I’m too much of a coward to do what they do. (including the hazing stuff…)

I would do nothing for the rest of my life if I could. Sure that’s lazy, but I don’t care. I would love to live in the country, but only if I could have TV and Internet.

I hate lawn mowing and vacuuming equally. Although I don’t mind cleaning the kitchen for some reason.

People with an agenda that’s radically different than mine kind of scare me. It’s not just overly religious types or politicians either. Lately I’ve been suspiciously eyeing our mailman.

People with angry pets freak me out too, as do those who insist on keeping snakes or other reptiles (as well as rodents and arachnids…) that just doesn’t seem right to me.

I don’t usually trust vegans, (although there are a couple that break that rule…) or anyone who get too excited about Birkenstocks. You can wear them, but if we need to have more than a passing note about them, then there’s a dysfunction.

I’m not a Leafs or Oilers fan, nor could I really give a shit about Ottawa or Vancouver. (I really believe that Hockey is a gift from the heavens.)

I love Scotch and Irish whiskey. Bourbon and Rye whiskey are constructs of the devil and frighten me. (Mostly because they make me lippy. Well… more so than I already am…) Red wine and beer are good too. (Except anything that comes in a box or is made by Molson or Labatt. Bleech…)

I love to fly. The feeling of taking off is awesome. I pretend in my head that I’m going into space. (ROCKET MAN…) I hate landings though. Especially if my ears don’t pop. That makes me both cranky and clumsy. Not a winning combination for me at the best of times.

Golf is fucking boring. So are curling, lawn darts, and horseshoes. I hate lumberjack skills competitions too, and yet somehow I can’t stop watching it if it’s on TV.

I would like to punch Lou Dobb’s in the nose, and yet Paula Zahn and Anderson Cooper are inoffensive to me. (This I just don’t get…) I would pay good money to watch Larry King stick fight with Ted Turner. (I’m not even kidding…)

I hate clowns, mimes and street performers. All of them! I also hate improve guys and prop acts. Fucking boring!!! The only thing worse to me is a magician. (Especially that Cris Angel guy… He needs a beat down in the worst kind of way. I’ve seen the Crow… It wasn’t that good…)

Anyway, more as I think of it…

Flames Beat the Ducks in Game 1.

Today was a good day. I had the day off, and pretty much engrossed myself in nothing but hockey. I spent the better part of the morning listening to the major sports networks’ prognostications about this year’s brawl for the cup.

Later on I went to Brett’s to watch the game. I’m glad I got to hang out with him. I’ve missed him. It’s nice to see him planting some roots. He seems happier than I can ever recall. Perhaps taking a break from his hobo life is doing him some good.

Anyway…

We played guitar for a while, and then watched the Oilers and Wings opener. Both of us trying to contain ourselves… Our team was next on the bill. I could barely stand the wait. Then the stupid Wings tied it… and the Flames game started late.

The game was a bit of a nail biter, but in the end, the right team won.

From the looks of it, this series with the Ducks is going to be a hard fought one. Kipper, Jerome and McCarty all looked really good out there tonight. It was nice to see Amonte kick off the scoring too.

More stuff to come later…

HAPPY PLAYOFFS!!!

I think I like the NHL playoffs more than Christmas. This year is going to awesome. GO FLAMES GO!!!

I've spent the entire day watching the Sportsnet's preview coverage. Did I mention GO FLAMES GO!!!

The 44th President of The United States of America... Marcus C. Beaubier

Yesterday I wrote about President Bush. Lisa left a comment asking what I’d do if I were President of the United States. I thought about it, and this is what I came up with.

Now I realize that a lot of this is a little foolhardy. (Some might argue it as folly even.) However what’s wrong with having some principles? Imagine if elected officials did even just half of this stuff. Things would get a whole lot better.

Some of my American friends will likely say that it’s easy as a Canadian to be judgmental and self-righteous, and truthfully their right. I’m smug about it, and I don’t care.

Others may argue that America’s internal politics are not a Canadian’s business. I take exception with that. America has an enormous impact on my country. From Trade to entertainment, we are sewn together. (Not to mention many other countries get us confused when we travel… Why do you think Americans sew Canadian flags on their luggage?)

Anyway, if I were President of the United States, I would:

1) Act like a human being. I would not let my own greed or prejudices stand in the way of common decency. (Mind you this one is probably harder than it looks.)

2) I would admit to my failures rather than trying to affix blame or point fingers. (At least this way is more honest, and truly transparent…)

3) I would choose a cabinet that had no association to the big oil companies. (Or oil companies pretending to have expertise in infrastructure reconstruction…)

4) I would respect the judgment of my peers. (Especially those who have been long time allies. Sober second thought is never a bad idea.)

5) I would not act unilaterally. (Passing off “the Coalition of the willing” as legit was really sad…)

6) I would not permit the people of my armed services to torture, or humiliate foreign nationals, regardless of any legitimate charges placed upon them. (Camp X-Ray and Abu Gurab should be an enormous embarrassment to America. For a nation trying to sell western democracy, you’re sure doing a shit job of it. Let’s just throw away due process…)

7) I would pass a law forcing former Enron and Adelphia executives (or the next ones to fuck people like that...) to wear sandwich boards saying “I am a thief and a liar!!!” or “I’m a really, really, really greedy bastard and I stole your money!!!” and force them to work in soup kitchens. (I would make punishments fit the crime. I’m a big fan of creative sentencing... You should see what I have in mind for Trent Lott...)

8) I would listen to reason. (A little common sense never hurt anyone.)

9) I would not use revenge as a justification for anything. (Or as a bogus deflection so I could rob another country blind!)

10) Instead of paying lip service to the statement “No child left behind…” I would do everything in my power to make sure they weren't.

11) I would stop pretending that everything was Okay.

12) I would make a credible attempt at finding alternatives to oil. (I suspect the best way to render those “Terrorist” nations inert is to make their oil useless… or at the very least, buy from friendly nations.)

13) I would listen to the needs of my people. (After all, they’re the boss!)

14) I would try to remember that Government is for the people, by the people and of the people. (People should never be afraid of their government. Government should be afraid of it’s people…)

The Worst President in 100 Years

I thought about what a good caption for this picture might be...

"Gee... I wonder what I'd look like with a Mexican Wrestling Mask on?"

George Bush’s incompetence has driven America’s debt load into the stratosphere. Each American’s personal share of the national debt is now in excess of 30,000 dollars. That’s insane!

In addition to the staggering debt load, America will need 43 Trillion dollars to meet its obligations for Medicare and social security. Add a defense budget (with all branches… including The Marines, Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, FEMA, and INS…) and spending on the civil service and that could escalate well into the high 70’s.

I thought that Republican’s were strong proponents of small government and reduced spending? Bush is clearly the oxymoron to this conservative agenda. Never has this been more apparent than in the last month. Neo Cons are jumping from this ship in record numbers. It seems the party sees baby Bush as a liability. Is there any wonder why?

Hs failures are numerous. His tax cuts failed to ignite the economy. There are 5 million more people living below the poverty line than under the Clinton presidency. In addition, there’s a lower percentage of working age Americans that are employed, (or who are under employed…) and the manufacturing sector has been all but gutted.

New economy jobs are pouring out of the country and heading towards Asia with near reckless abandon. Not what I’d call a stellar economic record. Even Ronald Reagan’s Voodoo economics concept worked better. (And that was disgraceful!!!)

Then there’s the failure to achieve any real or concrete objective in Iraq. Saddam’s gone, and that’s great, but in the occupation’s wake, a civil war looms in the distance. More than two thousand soldiers have died, and end of the engagement is nowhere to be seen. It’s been three years since the shock and awe, and now it looks more like “Aw Shucks…”

Afghanistan isn’t much better, and Osama is still on the loose. Wasn’t he the one that America was supposed to be looking for? Isn’t he the terrorist that fucked with the Good ole U. S of A? (And just what exactly did he have in common with Iraq?)

Then there’s the brewing nuclear feud with Iran… During a recent press conference, Bush indicated, “All options were on the table!” But with North Korea, he just pussyfooted about. I guess all cranky America hating dictators are not made the same.

Let’s not forget the huge fuck up in dealing with the aftermath of Katrina. Not only has Bush managed to polarize the entire globe, but also now he set back race relations in America a couple of decades. (It was on shaky ground to begin with…)

Throw in some illegal spying on everyday Americans, the absence of WMD’s, fucking Canadians out of 5 billion dollars, and passing legislation that restricts individual freedoms and the fire under his but is stoked just a little higher.

But then again it must be hard when criminals like Scooter Libby, and Karl Rove surround you on a daily basis, and I’m sure Dick (the Shotgun wielding lunatic) and Donald (the freaky Nazi) don’t help much either.

But not to worry America... Bush can't be President forever...

Yeah Baby... Flames Win The Division!!!

Kipper
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.

The Flames succeeded in capturing the division title tonight!!! Bring on the Ducks... Time for some Duck Flambe...

Kipper also got his league leading 10th shutout of the season!!!

A dam good night for hockey in Calgary.

I'm in Charge, and There's Gonna be a few Changes Around Here...

“When there’s nothing left to lose, you’d better set yourself on fire…” – Stars 2005

I’m feeling a lot better today. I’ve decided to make some changes in my lifestyle, and give myself a little make over in the process. There’s nothing like a little tune up to get the motor revving again.

I guess that recognizing the problem is part of the cure. I’ve been feeling stale, and now I have the motivation to get the ball rolling again. As I wrote last night, I realized that I had strayed from the ideals and values that I hold closest. The spirit of DIY had slipped away from my consciousness, and I pretended that I didn’t notice.

But it’s easier to pretend than admit that you’ve been run over. The land of make believe is a sneaky and brilliant way of accepting that denial is a healthy state to be in. It however is the coward’s path. (And it seems a path that’s taken too often by too man people…)

In some ways I’ve been a ghost of who I am. That really sucks. I can’t believe that I let that happen. Somewhere along the way I let my character slip a little. I’m a strongly opinionated and passion driven person. It’s time to prove it again. (To me…)

Since I was about 15 years old, the punk rock ethic was my code. I believed in it, and with that I succeeded at the things I put my hand to. That along with sheer moxie got me into film school, and convinced me that I could do anything I wanted to.

It was my divining rod. It highlighted the path I wanted to take with my life. Somewhere along the way I confused growing up with leaving that behind. That was a critical mistake on my part. Not that I want to be Sid Vicious at 35. That would be a different kind of mistake. (A gruesome one at that…)

As of today, that confusion is gone. I am refocused. While the combat boots and blue hair are gone, (Although I just can’t seem to part with those old high top Vans…) I am reinvigorated. I may lead headlong into harm, but now it’s back on my terms. I am no longer satisfied. I’m hungry again. Even as I type this, I feel a little imbibed.

When I was in Toronto last year, I saw a glimmer of that ethic. It reared its head ever so slightly. I was motivated. I was writing, and I was happy. Both my ID and Ego were charged and ready to go. As of today, its all systems go.

Bring on the scotch, the rock star is back… and this time he’s pissed.

“Second star to the right, and sail on till morning…”

The Soundtrack of My Life Vol 2...

I know that I've been a shitty blogger lately. For those of you who still actually read this, I promise I'll try and post more regularly.

Anyway...

I feel as if I’ve stumbled a little lately. It’s as if my wings have been pinned down. I just can’t seem to find the motivation to write. I’ve been struggling with a few new bits, and I can’t seem to break the levy. Perhaps I’ve been trying too hard. Regardless, it’s driving me crazy.

I really need to be on stage more too. I’ve been trying to find a balance there, and so far, I haven’t had too much luck.

Perhaps I need an adventure of some sort. Something new to get those creative juices flowing again. Whatever I wind up doing, I hope I can scrape the rust off. Otherwise, this shitty sinking feeling is going to drive me mad.

Normally I’d strike up a conversation with my good friend “Scotch” but lately we
don’t seem to be on speaking terms. In addition, I’m having a hard time finding a good cup of coffee. Lately Tim’s just isn’t doing it for me. (God listen to me would ya… Could I bitch any more?)

And I kinda want to get into a fistfight. Lord knows where that comes from.

At the end of the month I’m off to Grande Prairie with Bobby Keele. It’s the first time I’ll have ever worked with him on the road. I like Bobby, so I hope that all goes well.

My friendships seem a little off kilter too. I feel like I’m outta the loop. I hate that.

Okay enough Neurosis…

I’ve been thinking about some other records that have had an impact on me… So I decided to do a part 2 to The Soundtrack of my life.

Again I present them in no particular order.



1)Dag Nasty – Wig Out At Denko’s

I love this fucking record. It’s an excellent example of good old-fashioned America Hardcore. This album reminds me so much of my friend Diz. We were both huge Dag fans; truly it was almost obscene in retrospect.

We used to play this record over and over again in his old Chev Cavalier. This was the soundtrack to much of my last summer in Newfoundland. It was one of the best times of my life. That was a pretty stress free time. Two carefree months of doing sweet fuck all. It was truly splendid. We did a lot of drinking, and pretty much anything else we wanted.

I wish I could revisit that summer, even if only for like 10 minutes. That was the same summer that Russell and I devised “The Audiotoon Theatre.” Little did I realize that would be the inspiration for me becoming a stand up comic.



2) Bad Brains – I Against I

This is a heck of a record too. This one reminds me of working at the record store. It was the only job where I spent more than I made. They really didn’t even really need to pay me. Every cent I made went right back to the store. By the time I had quit, I had quite the music collection.

I actually got to meet the Bad Brains. The store got me backstage passes to go and see them when they played at The Republic. (RIP) I still have the picture that the band’s manager took of me hanging out with them. It was a very cool night. (One of my absolute favorite nights of all time.)

From the very first chord of Intro, I was in punk rock heaven. The best stage diving in the world occurs at a Bad Brains show.



3)Ministry – The Mind is A Terrible Thing to Taste.

This band is more like the soundtrack to my nightmares. To me Ministry is a sonic traffic accident. I find them appealing because they scare the shit out of me. Breathe and Burning Inside are two stand outs for sure. It sounds like the battle cry of the all the things that go bump in the night.

I read somewhere that this record was mixed while Alien Jorgensen was wired on LSD that he washed down with a quart of Tequila. It sure sounds like it to me.

In their hay day, they made Marilyn Manson look more like Rick Astley.



4)Descendents – I Don’t Wanna Grow Up.

Another punk rock classic… Generally speaking, when Wig Out wasn’t in the CD player, this one was. This one’s a testament to acting like an idiot and having fun doing it.

It’s every underage beer, and every stuck bra clasp. I, like countless others, started a punk band shortly after hearing this disc. It was an inspiration. It still is. Whenever I start to take myself too seriously, I pop it in.



5)Talking Heads – Stop Making Sense.

I love this album because of the version of Psycho Killer. It’s fantastic. This was playing when I got to make out with Jessica Webb. She was every try hard pre pubescent punk’s dream girl. I was not exception. I was totally Koo Koo for Jessica.

We hit it off. She could have asked me to jump off a bridge and I would have. Happily she was as kind hearted, as she was beautiful. As with all things, it came to a screeching halt when her parents sent her away to private school.
For some reason, every now and then, I want to call her. Just to see how she’s doing. (It’s been nearly 20 years since the last time we talked…) She was a cool person, and I suspect she’s just as cool now.

Anyway, every time I hear that song, I think of her. Last summer I got to see David Byrne play live. The whole time I had a coy little smile on my face.



6)Bad Religion – Against the Grain.

The Christmas of 1991, my parents and sister went to Calgary. I had to stay in Newfoundland because of my job. I was trying to save money so I could go to school. Diz and Russ stayed with me, and we put up a tree, and had a nice Christmas with our friends.

My friend “Chicken” gave me this disc at our Christmas Eve party. I still have it. It’s the original vinyl and it’s in immaculate shape. It’s been played only twice. Once to make a cassette of it, and once to encode it to mp3.

Every time I listen to tracks from this album, I think back to that Christmas. It was a pretty killer time. It was the first time I ever threw a party, and I still think it was one of the best.



7)Radiohead – O.K. Computer.

I was introduced to this album by my friend Matthew. I miss him. He was loud, usually obnoxious, (yet strangely charming…) but always decent and true. He’s well on his way to becoming famous now. He’s just finished a movie with Harrison Ford, and was in the remake of “The Fog.”

When I met him, he was a struggling video store clerk. He and his wife (The well and truly lovely Shannon, of whom I was equally fond of…) were constant companions. Till recently, they were the only people I traveled a ridiculous distance to go and visit. (Excluding family…)

We used to drink red wine and lounge in a fairly bohemian fashion.

Anyway that’s it for this pile. Again there are more… and again they are for later.

04/01/06 I'm Back...

Well it’s been almost two weeks since my last post. I haven’t had too much to report. I’m still alive and feeling pretty much like myself. I’ve written a few new jokes, and gotten a few hundred new grey hairs. Otherwise life has been quiet lately.

Last weekend I went to Yuks for first time in what seems like ages. I did some time, it turned out to be a really good set. I was in full rock star mode. Sometimes I like it when that part of my character comes out to play. He doesn’t come out too often these days, but when he does, you can follow him by the trail of empty scotch glasses left in his wake.

Other Stuff…

I'll probably get hate mail over this one...

I just watched the trailer for United 93. I think it’s very sad that 9/11 is a marketing machine unto itself. (Not that it’s terribly surprising…) It strikes me that there should be a big difference between “never forgetting” and “beating a dead horse.” Alas it seems there is not.

Every time a movie like this gets made, it cheapens the tragedy just a little more, and tarnishes sorrow with a slick veneer of patriotism. We need little reminder that we live in dangerous times, and yet we are bombarded with this message on a daily basis. As if America needs to be reminded to be paranoid. If there’s one thing America is good at, it’s paranoia.

It would be different if this were a movie made to set some sort of historical context. Not that it really needs to be put in a historical context… It’s still very fresh in everyone’s memory. Truthfully if anything this topic has too much context. Any conversation lasting more than an hour these days will be rife with 9/11 references.

This movie was made to make money. It’s fairly plain and simple… Universal is doing nothing more than milking the 9/11 teet. (Or leaving a huge ass tooth under their pillow for the 911 fairy…) I’m not sure you could get tackier.

How do you market this? I think it takes a lot of balls to turn to the public and pass this crap off as a memorial. I sort of imagine it like this.

Montage: Planes colliding with the trade towers, dissolve to a tattered but still fluttering American flag.

Voice over: Parking 5 dollars, movie ticket 10 dollars, popcorn and soda at the concession 15 dollars, that sinking feeling that your intelligence and sensitivities are about to be insulted… Priceless.

It’s amazing that the hogs at the trough will hoard just about anything. There is no dignity, just old-fashioned greed. Apparently anything can be churned into a dollar and that’s just not right.

The biggest problem here is that any sense of humanity and compassion has been totally stomped out in favour of schmaltz, and that is the biggest tragedy of all. I agree that we should never forget what happened, but isn’t time to stop milking it? It’s been nearly 5 years. Aren’t their other, better things to sap cash from? Like Iraq for instance…