03/05/06 35 and Feeling Freakish...

Today was my 35th birthday. It’s been an interesting year. Another year older, and yet for some reason I really don’t feel any wiser. Quite the opposite in fact, I think I might actually be regressing. Maybe I’ve learned more than I think, but I doubt it. Most days I feel like my knuckles are dragging in the dirt.

“Me getting old… Me like smashing stuff…”

I spent the majority of the week as the MC at the Calgary club. The week started out kinda slow but progressively got better. I took Friday night off so I could go and see Bob Mould at Macewan Hall. It was a good show. That was my real Birthday celebration. (For more details about the show, check out danielrock.blogspot.com)

I had a few drinks after the late show last night. A few friends came down to wish me a happy birthday, but I really wasn’t too much into it. I was actually feeling a little glum. This year has progressed fairly well on all fronts in my life, and yet I can’t help but look at it like it’s a bit of a gift horse with crappy teeth. I find myself thinking, “There’s got to be more than this…” Is that normal I wonder?

Perhaps I just need to choke down the daily grind. Hell most people do it. Is it wrong to want more? (Actually I’m feeling pretty insistent about wanting more.) Lately there seems to be a sense of urgency that I cannot shake. It’s like a grumpy overcoat. It’s been keeping me awake at night. (As if that would make my sleeping patterns any more fucked up…)

I guess I just need to ponder why I’m feeling dissatisfied. Hopefully I’ll find the answer soon. This feeling really needs to go away. Maybe I just need more vitamin B in my diet. Perhaps I need to fill my head with some new and more challenging information. A new task or two might do the trick as well. Heck… Throw in a few goals and I could be away at the races.

It’s been a bit of a fuzzy day. Perhaps it was a little hair of the dog, but I really wasn’t firing on all cylinders. I’ve never been a big party kinda guy. Things like parties tend to make me feel a little awkward. Perhaps it’s too much attention. (Very ironic considering I’m a comic…)

Anyway… More to come.