Just a thought...

I have always been fascinated by the notion that some species eat their young. It’s a splendid concept. I’m not entirely sure it’s true, but I do seem to recall a story about a male bear that killed its cubs, so as to not be challenged for dominance. It’s an almost Shakespearean concept. Rumour has it, that a “lost” sequel to Hamlet had a similar plot. (Involving homicidal bears… dressed up as fops and what not…)

I think it’s time humans adopted a more positive view about cannibalism. Sure there have been extreme cases, usually involving stranded soccer players, or lost artic explorers, but generally we as a whole have frowned on the thought. That my friends, is being wickedly short sighted on our part.

It might solve a few problems all at once. Let’s face it, a significant portion of the world’s population is hungry, and we have a lot of socially retarded dirt bags that would make some pretty tasty eating.

Who wouldn’t love to hear Chuck Heston bellow out “Soylent Green is made from Hilton”?

And now that the Olsen twins aren’t little kids, they need to be put into the stock pot too.

“What’s that flavour? I can’t put my finger on it. It has a gamey taste, but there’s also a whiff of disappointment to it,”

“Oh that’s just Mary Kate and Ashley…”

It would be a dream come true. If other species can do, I know that in my heart that with a little practice, with our collective nose to the grindstone, we could get into it. Let’s face it, with a little Montreal steak spice, and a few cloves of garlic, you can make anything taste edible.

K… Perhaps that’s an extreme thought. Think of it this way. If you are a useless waste of flesh and bone, and your existence has done nothing to help this species out, perhaps you were meant to meet your end this way. What if this was supposed to be your destiny? Perhaps your talent is to become a rib roast.

Besides, Britney Burgers has a ring to it. Say it with me now… “K-Fed for the underfed.”

It’s not that crazy.