“One baby to another says - I'm lucky to have met you
I don't care what you think, unless it is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you…”
I’ve had this Nirvana song stuck in my head for 3 weeks straight. It’s called “Drain You” I’m sure it must mean something. (For the record, I love the song… but it seems to be haunting me.)
I did a lot of walking today. I walked to and from work, and then a bunch (the closest empirical measurement I could muster…) more tonight. It was nice and sunny today. The trees in my neigbourhood have finally surrendered their buds, and the shade along 13th avenue is lovely. I found myself stomping along, and blasting Bad Religion as loudly as the little ipod could muster. I had a good groove going on.
I got to wear my Punk Voter t-shirt today. That makes me happy. It’s the first time I’ve ever been able to wear it. When I got it in November, It was really, really tight. Now it’s billowing off of me. It’s red and had a picture of Bush on it with evil written across his forehead. There are some things that I am willing to advertise, and my brand of politics is one of them.
I’ve been kinda bored lately. After that spate of gigs, it got quiet. Too damn quiet. I really need some stage time. The time off is not fun. No gang, I don’t like it.
When I went for my walk tonight, I stopped at the Ship for a diet coke. Three separate people approached me, to tell me that they recognized me from appearances at Yuks. It was really strange. It was flattering, but a little uncomfortable too. I guess its cause I never go up to a dentist or some other professional and say… “Nice job with that crown…” or “Way to prosecute that criminal…”
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s cool to get some validation for what I do, and I guess there’s a cult of personality thing there too, but it just makes me feel awkward.
You can always tell when someone recognizes you too. They all make the same kind of gesticulation. First there’s the cup of the hand over the mouth, while they whisper to whomever they are with, then the lingering stare, finally followed by the approach. It’s kinda funny actually. That pattern never changes.
Anyway it’s time to sleep.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
05/26/05 Today...
I slept late today. I have been exhausted lately. It’s the kind of tired that makes you feel brittle. It’s almost as if you might break in a gust of wind. It’s my own fault though. I have little to no compunction to sleep until I shut down. This is nothing new to me. Those who read this blog, or who know me well, know I don’t shut down. I crash.
I looked in the mirror when I got up. My eyes were bloodshot. I have never seen them that bloodshot before. I looked like I might have gone though a very hard night of drinking.
Alas that was not the case. At least that way I could blame it on something other that my dysfunctional circadian rhythm. They looked like little pink marbles. They felt heavy like glass too. In my sleep-deprived state, I imagine kids playing knock outs with them. I know this can’t be good.
Work was as work is. I got myself the obligatory caffeine injection, and got rolling along. We started a one off project that just didn’t seem to get off the ground very well. It was slow and ugly. My gang had gotten quite frustrated with it, and I don’t blame them. It was a rough go.
I got home later than I had planned on. It took forever to get finished tonight. Erin was up, but not for long. She conked out early, so I decided to go for a walk.
The night air was nice. Not warm, but not chilly either, it was what I decided to be the perfect walking weather. I made it to the Ship and Anchor. The patio was full, and music spilled out onto the street, like it was rushing to meet me. I popped in to see who was around. About twenty minutes later, I decided to make my way for home again.
That takes me to here. It’s late again, and yet I sit and type this. A damn fool I am.
I looked in the mirror when I got up. My eyes were bloodshot. I have never seen them that bloodshot before. I looked like I might have gone though a very hard night of drinking.
Alas that was not the case. At least that way I could blame it on something other that my dysfunctional circadian rhythm. They looked like little pink marbles. They felt heavy like glass too. In my sleep-deprived state, I imagine kids playing knock outs with them. I know this can’t be good.
Work was as work is. I got myself the obligatory caffeine injection, and got rolling along. We started a one off project that just didn’t seem to get off the ground very well. It was slow and ugly. My gang had gotten quite frustrated with it, and I don’t blame them. It was a rough go.
I got home later than I had planned on. It took forever to get finished tonight. Erin was up, but not for long. She conked out early, so I decided to go for a walk.
The night air was nice. Not warm, but not chilly either, it was what I decided to be the perfect walking weather. I made it to the Ship and Anchor. The patio was full, and music spilled out onto the street, like it was rushing to meet me. I popped in to see who was around. About twenty minutes later, I decided to make my way for home again.
That takes me to here. It’s late again, and yet I sit and type this. A damn fool I am.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
05/24/05 cont'd
7am. Not my most favourite time of day. I don’t understand how my wife does this everyday. What kind of cruel taskmaster decided that this was the perfect time of day for people to be productive? There should be a revolution. Utopia for me would be starting work at noon. That sounds much more reasonable. Some may think that this notion is outta step. I say it’s sane.
The walk to work was nice enough. It was surprisingly quiet. There was no line at the café. (A rare occurrence…) Those poor bastards have to be up even earlier.
I think our society would be a much better place if we started our days much later. Imagine tens of millions of people who are well-rested, and ready to start the day fresh. There would be no need for guns; wars would be a thing of the past, as would road rage. The lack of sleep that triggers human stupidity would no longer exist. Productivity would be high; sales of sleeping aids would be low.
On to other things…
I’m working on a joke about Sting. The joke, more specifically is about his thoughts on tantric sex. I won’t get into the details of the joke, but I started thinking about what else could have tantric used as a suffix. Here’s a list.
1)Tantric Violence (This is a concept who’s time has come…)
2)Tantric Ambivalence (I’d write something here, but… aw fuck it…)
3)Tantric Obesity (Pass the dutchie…)
4)Tantric Misery (Sadly this one works for far to many people I know…)
5)Tantric Tragedy (Everyone knows someone who embraces this as their own personal mantra.)
I’m positive I’ll come up with more…
End of Transmission
The walk to work was nice enough. It was surprisingly quiet. There was no line at the café. (A rare occurrence…) Those poor bastards have to be up even earlier.
I think our society would be a much better place if we started our days much later. Imagine tens of millions of people who are well-rested, and ready to start the day fresh. There would be no need for guns; wars would be a thing of the past, as would road rage. The lack of sleep that triggers human stupidity would no longer exist. Productivity would be high; sales of sleeping aids would be low.
On to other things…
I’m working on a joke about Sting. The joke, more specifically is about his thoughts on tantric sex. I won’t get into the details of the joke, but I started thinking about what else could have tantric used as a suffix. Here’s a list.
1)Tantric Violence (This is a concept who’s time has come…)
2)Tantric Ambivalence (I’d write something here, but… aw fuck it…)
3)Tantric Obesity (Pass the dutchie…)
4)Tantric Misery (Sadly this one works for far to many people I know…)
5)Tantric Tragedy (Everyone knows someone who embraces this as their own personal mantra.)
I’m positive I’ll come up with more…
End of Transmission
05/24/05
Yet another entry in “The I can’t sleep chronicles.”
It’s been a fun couple of weeks. Life is generally pretty good. Erin and I had a good celebration this weekend. One year and counting, so far so good.
I’ve gone the movies a lot over the past week. On Wednesday Daniel and I went to see the new Star Wars flick. I loved it. It is my belief that for the duration of that film, time had no meaning. For just about 3 hours, I was that same awestruck little boy sitting in the theater in 1977. It was brilliant. All in all, it was a delicious moment of self-indulgence.
I had so much fun, that I had to go again. Erin and I went with her folks. It had that same magic for me once again. I think in some ways, I may have an unhealthy love of all things Star Wars. But then again, without Star Wars, it’s unlikely that I would love movies as much as I do. It has become the praxis of my love of cinema.
It was fun to see all the geeks out in full force. There were costumes spanning the entire gamut of the Star Wars universe. It was definitely more than a film. It was an event. A moment when geeks everywhere knew it would be okay to come out and play, and they didn’t disappoint.
Last night, Erin and I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I must say I liked it too. It evoked the same sense of adventure that “Gladiator” did. It was a little slower in spots, but there was enough solid material there to keep my interest keen.
More later.
It’s been a fun couple of weeks. Life is generally pretty good. Erin and I had a good celebration this weekend. One year and counting, so far so good.
I’ve gone the movies a lot over the past week. On Wednesday Daniel and I went to see the new Star Wars flick. I loved it. It is my belief that for the duration of that film, time had no meaning. For just about 3 hours, I was that same awestruck little boy sitting in the theater in 1977. It was brilliant. All in all, it was a delicious moment of self-indulgence.
I had so much fun, that I had to go again. Erin and I went with her folks. It had that same magic for me once again. I think in some ways, I may have an unhealthy love of all things Star Wars. But then again, without Star Wars, it’s unlikely that I would love movies as much as I do. It has become the praxis of my love of cinema.
It was fun to see all the geeks out in full force. There were costumes spanning the entire gamut of the Star Wars universe. It was definitely more than a film. It was an event. A moment when geeks everywhere knew it would be okay to come out and play, and they didn’t disappoint.
Last night, Erin and I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I must say I liked it too. It evoked the same sense of adventure that “Gladiator” did. It was a little slower in spots, but there was enough solid material there to keep my interest keen.
More later.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
05/17/05 Raining on Grandpa's garden
It’s 2:37 am; I can hear the rain ricocheting off the balcony. I love the rain. It reminds me of home. Newfoundland gets a lot of rain. It can be a little overwhelming sometimes, especially if it rains for weeks on end, but I miss it. I think I must have begun to count on it, as if it were the metronome that kept my life in time. It’s a strange comfort for me, likely because we just don’t get that much of it here in Calgary.
It’s been raining for a couple of hours now. It’s a good thing too; it’s been really dusty lately. The last few days have had a bit of grit to them, hopefully the water can wash it all away.
I fit into a pair of shorts that haven’t fit me properly for 2 years. That makes me happy. I’ve been doing well and the rewards are starting to make themselves known. My target is still about 30 pounds away. It seems like a mountain to climb, but at least I’m at the first base camp.
I went for a walk today. The smell of lilacs greeted me as I marched down 17th avenue. The fragrance reminds me of being at my grandparents’ house in the summer. There were always brilliant flowers in their backyard. My Grandfather was an amazing gardener. It was in his blood. He was a farmer first, and then when he retired, he moved to Calgary and got a job growing roses for a local greenhouse. It made him happy. He loved to putter around in the yard; I think it kept him going.
He always had the sweetest carrots in the yard. You could just pull them out of the dirt, give them a little squirt from the hose, and voila. They were almost like candy.
I miss him very much. He was just about the best person I have ever known. He was a kind and gentle soul, and he had this impish twinkle in his eye.
When I was in college, he did his best to make sure I never went without. Every time I left their house, usually after grandma (who was equally saintly…) had laid out a feast, I’d find a crisp 50-dollar bill in my pocket. I tried giving it back a few times, but never with much luck. He would pretend he had no idea where it came from, and then he’d just wink at me.
He always had the best advice. Sometimes it was masked as a story from his youth, but it always made sense. (Not always right away mind you… Sometimes it would go off like a little time bomb in my head as I headed home…) He helped me through a lot of heart ache, and was really patient with me, especially when I was less than patient with myself.
He’s been gone for about 6 years now. I was with him when he died. It was New Years day 1999. I had just gotten back from Saskatoon and had barely made it to see him. I managed to say goodbye. I’m not sure I ever got over hid death.
He was my moral compass. He was the measuring stick I used to pick my friends with. I heard somewhere that everyone you meet leaves a mark on your soul. I believe that to be true. I suspect that he left more than a mark. Most of the time it feels more like a riverbed.
Sometimes I still see him, usually in the strangest places. Once in a while I’m convinced I see him at the Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. It was his favorite.
I’m not sure why I decided to write about him tonight. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about the road too much. The distances are long, and there are a lot of farms along the way. I guess they just remind me of him.
Anyway I miss him.
It’s been raining for a couple of hours now. It’s a good thing too; it’s been really dusty lately. The last few days have had a bit of grit to them, hopefully the water can wash it all away.
I fit into a pair of shorts that haven’t fit me properly for 2 years. That makes me happy. I’ve been doing well and the rewards are starting to make themselves known. My target is still about 30 pounds away. It seems like a mountain to climb, but at least I’m at the first base camp.
I went for a walk today. The smell of lilacs greeted me as I marched down 17th avenue. The fragrance reminds me of being at my grandparents’ house in the summer. There were always brilliant flowers in their backyard. My Grandfather was an amazing gardener. It was in his blood. He was a farmer first, and then when he retired, he moved to Calgary and got a job growing roses for a local greenhouse. It made him happy. He loved to putter around in the yard; I think it kept him going.
He always had the sweetest carrots in the yard. You could just pull them out of the dirt, give them a little squirt from the hose, and voila. They were almost like candy.
I miss him very much. He was just about the best person I have ever known. He was a kind and gentle soul, and he had this impish twinkle in his eye.
When I was in college, he did his best to make sure I never went without. Every time I left their house, usually after grandma (who was equally saintly…) had laid out a feast, I’d find a crisp 50-dollar bill in my pocket. I tried giving it back a few times, but never with much luck. He would pretend he had no idea where it came from, and then he’d just wink at me.
He always had the best advice. Sometimes it was masked as a story from his youth, but it always made sense. (Not always right away mind you… Sometimes it would go off like a little time bomb in my head as I headed home…) He helped me through a lot of heart ache, and was really patient with me, especially when I was less than patient with myself.
He’s been gone for about 6 years now. I was with him when he died. It was New Years day 1999. I had just gotten back from Saskatoon and had barely made it to see him. I managed to say goodbye. I’m not sure I ever got over hid death.
He was my moral compass. He was the measuring stick I used to pick my friends with. I heard somewhere that everyone you meet leaves a mark on your soul. I believe that to be true. I suspect that he left more than a mark. Most of the time it feels more like a riverbed.
Sometimes I still see him, usually in the strangest places. Once in a while I’m convinced I see him at the Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. It was his favorite.
I’m not sure why I decided to write about him tonight. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about the road too much. The distances are long, and there are a lot of farms along the way. I guess they just remind me of him.
Anyway I miss him.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
05/12/05 Home Sweet Home
I’m home for a while. I’m happy to be here too. Happily I don’t have another road gig till the second week of June. I feel like I’ve been living in a suitcase for most of the New Year. I’m not complaining about it, but there is definitely something to be said for home. I think I took the creature comforts for granted. Nothing makes me happier than my own bed, and the one I love sleeping next to me.
Other stuff...
It seems the stage time has done me some good though, I feel stronger and more capable than I did, and have started writing again. It’s still dirty, but I have decided to embrace that for what it is. This is the place where I am right now, and this material has it’s own value. I’m sure that it will evolve as everything does, but for now it’s as good as it gets.
This concept of being a rostered professional comic is cool. The comics I had idolized as an amateur have become contemporaries. It’s a good feeling. I have started my journey into the real business of Stand Up, and damn it, I like it.
There are some things that I don’t like about this business. It’s rampant with politics, and it’s very difficult to stay away from it. The fragility of most comics’ egos doesn’t help the matter either. It’s like adding white gas to an already raging fire. There are too many little squabbles between what should be grown adults. Sometimes they boil over, and sometimes they just sit and simmer for years, either way no one wins. Almost always others get caught in the middle of the feud de jour, and with remarkable certainty they get hurt.
Other stuff...
It seems the stage time has done me some good though, I feel stronger and more capable than I did, and have started writing again. It’s still dirty, but I have decided to embrace that for what it is. This is the place where I am right now, and this material has it’s own value. I’m sure that it will evolve as everything does, but for now it’s as good as it gets.
This concept of being a rostered professional comic is cool. The comics I had idolized as an amateur have become contemporaries. It’s a good feeling. I have started my journey into the real business of Stand Up, and damn it, I like it.
There are some things that I don’t like about this business. It’s rampant with politics, and it’s very difficult to stay away from it. The fragility of most comics’ egos doesn’t help the matter either. It’s like adding white gas to an already raging fire. There are too many little squabbles between what should be grown adults. Sometimes they boil over, and sometimes they just sit and simmer for years, either way no one wins. Almost always others get caught in the middle of the feud de jour, and with remarkable certainty they get hurt.
Monday, May 09, 2005
05/09/05
The trip to Saskatchewan was fun. After being friends with Daniel for more than 5 years, we finally managed to hit the road together. (Yuks finally relented… or more to the point, we were both out of the shit books at the same time…. Kudos to Holly for putting this together…)
Dan is a curious, and kinda impish fellow. He uses charm to his advantage, and has a keen sense of his own abilities. He is definitely a comedy warrior, but it's obvious that the road has clearly left its mark on him. He drags on his personality with impunity, and lets it drive his show. His character leaves a frank and distinct impression, but its force of will that makes him funny. (Very funny indeed…)
His freewheeling style makes his show natural, and very easy going. Its pace is dictated by his whim. (One might even say it tends to be rather breezy…) But at no point is he compromising. When he decides to exert more control over an audience, they become better for it. He's a treat to watch.
Saskatoon was a very good show. I did well. There were a couple of soft jokes, but overall it was solid. I like it there. The people in Saskatoon are very nice, open sort of folk. Everyone I talked with had a warmth, and a little light in their eyes. It was a very positive experience.
I ran into a former employee of mine working at the hotel we were staying at. It was very strange to see him. (Given that the set of circumstances that led to his being "freed up for new opportunities" were quite strange in and amongst themselves…) He seemed happy, and looked healthier than I can ever recall seeing him.
After the show, which went rather well, we mingled with the crowd for a bit, and then went off to have a drink. Dan managed to strike up a conversation that met his fancy and I went off in search of some live music with a few of the locals.
I saw an average cover band, and had a couple of drinks, and met some nice people.
Overall it was a good day.
Regina, was not as good, but still went well. We were warned in advance that the crowd was going to be small (which helped…) and the show had a different feel to it. It was a slower pace, and the crowd reactions, while positive, were smaller.
The majority of the audience was made up of RCMP cadets. (Apparently I seem to attract them… Like last year in William's lake…) Happily they were pretty young, and still liked to party.
It wasn't a wild night. I was asleep by about 1:15 or so, but I had some odd dreams that I'm still trying to figure out.
The strangest thing about the trip was this. In Saskatchewan retailers have to hide cigarettes behind a curtain. The rationale employed here is that by hiding them, they can't be a lure for children. I think that's brilliantly stupid. Once again smokers are being treated like social pariahs. It felt like I was trying to buy porn. Soon you'll have to get them wrapped in brown paper.
Dan is a curious, and kinda impish fellow. He uses charm to his advantage, and has a keen sense of his own abilities. He is definitely a comedy warrior, but it's obvious that the road has clearly left its mark on him. He drags on his personality with impunity, and lets it drive his show. His character leaves a frank and distinct impression, but its force of will that makes him funny. (Very funny indeed…)
His freewheeling style makes his show natural, and very easy going. Its pace is dictated by his whim. (One might even say it tends to be rather breezy…) But at no point is he compromising. When he decides to exert more control over an audience, they become better for it. He's a treat to watch.
Saskatoon was a very good show. I did well. There were a couple of soft jokes, but overall it was solid. I like it there. The people in Saskatoon are very nice, open sort of folk. Everyone I talked with had a warmth, and a little light in their eyes. It was a very positive experience.
I ran into a former employee of mine working at the hotel we were staying at. It was very strange to see him. (Given that the set of circumstances that led to his being "freed up for new opportunities" were quite strange in and amongst themselves…) He seemed happy, and looked healthier than I can ever recall seeing him.
After the show, which went rather well, we mingled with the crowd for a bit, and then went off to have a drink. Dan managed to strike up a conversation that met his fancy and I went off in search of some live music with a few of the locals.
I saw an average cover band, and had a couple of drinks, and met some nice people.
Overall it was a good day.
Regina, was not as good, but still went well. We were warned in advance that the crowd was going to be small (which helped…) and the show had a different feel to it. It was a slower pace, and the crowd reactions, while positive, were smaller.
The majority of the audience was made up of RCMP cadets. (Apparently I seem to attract them… Like last year in William's lake…) Happily they were pretty young, and still liked to party.
It wasn't a wild night. I was asleep by about 1:15 or so, but I had some odd dreams that I'm still trying to figure out.
The strangest thing about the trip was this. In Saskatchewan retailers have to hide cigarettes behind a curtain. The rationale employed here is that by hiding them, they can't be a lure for children. I think that's brilliantly stupid. Once again smokers are being treated like social pariahs. It felt like I was trying to buy porn. Soon you'll have to get them wrapped in brown paper.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
05/05/05
So far, I’m having a pretty good week. My friend Daryl managed a safe return from Oz. He’s a busy guy these days, in for two days and then off to Toronto. I’m glad he’s doing well. He seems to be in a much better way than the last time I saw him. The Melbourne festival seems to have done him some good.
This weekend I’m off to Saskatoon and then Regina. I’m looking forward to it. The last few shows I’ve had have been a little shaky, (this is a bit of an understatement…) and this run should be good to help scrape off some of the taint of Interior BC that always seems to stick to me.
The last time I went out there was over a year ago, and I have to say if this time is even half as much fun, it will rock.
Week 5 of the diet is going well. I’m getting a little sick of soup and crave for things that I know are beyond bad for me. Just about every time I pass by KFC my brain starts to churn out sick, twisted little fantasies about fried chicken. So far I have resisted. But I fear its only a matter of time before the jig is up.
This weekend I’m off to Saskatoon and then Regina. I’m looking forward to it. The last few shows I’ve had have been a little shaky, (this is a bit of an understatement…) and this run should be good to help scrape off some of the taint of Interior BC that always seems to stick to me.
The last time I went out there was over a year ago, and I have to say if this time is even half as much fun, it will rock.
Week 5 of the diet is going well. I’m getting a little sick of soup and crave for things that I know are beyond bad for me. Just about every time I pass by KFC my brain starts to churn out sick, twisted little fantasies about fried chicken. So far I have resisted. But I fear its only a matter of time before the jig is up.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Acme Brand Batman costume...
batmanNot
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Now I'll finally catch that Road Runner... BEEP BEEP!!!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
05/01/05
I’m tired today. I’m feeling a little run down. I woke up later than I wanted to. Erin came in and tried to rouse me at noon, but I was still in a mostly zombie like state at that point. Not even the first coffee of the day had any effect. If I had been anymore out of it I would have bolts in my neck, and a curious surgical scar running the length of my forehead.
I didn’t work out today, but rather opted for a walk to The Planet cafe. I figured since it was a good 30-minute walk from where I live, that I would get my daily-required exercise without having to lift weights. My arms already feel like they weight about a million pounds, and I would probably wind up pulling them out of their sockets in the process. (That scenario is a little too Looney Toons for me today…)
The Planet seems more sterile than the last time I was here. I used to take comfort in coming here. It was a bastion (one of the last…) for those who cherish the arts, and beacon for those of similar interests. Now it seems more like a place for the “Try Hards” and not the “Die Hards” of yore. It just doesn’t have the same kinda soul that it once did.
Perhaps I’ve just been away from it for too long. Maybe I’m just misty eyed for the “Good old days.” I hope that’s not it. That would suck. That would mean I’ve been infected by the curse of getting older, and suffering from the worst of its symptoms, being “outta touch.”
I’m not sure why that seems important to me, I should know better. It’s probably denial about getting older. I’m beginning to equate this whole aging thing with the death of the Peter Pan character living inside me. My best guess is that it’s a juvenile evasion of the adult priorities that life has handed me.
Damn it, I hate that. I hate that we get programmed to give up on all the fun things in life, so we can be secure. I hate that survival means no more shopping cart races down a giant hill, or getting really high and trying to climb craggy rocks. (I realize the stupidity of this… and yet it still makes me sad…)
This is starting to sound like I think that I’m a old man. I do not. I’m just starting to understand that I have some limitations. Some of them imposed by mother nature, and some self imposed, but limitations nonetheless.
Gone are the days of feeling totally indestructible. I feel only sort of indestructible these days. I’ve become Indestructible within what I call a given set of parameters. (Fuck that’s sad.) I think that’s why I like “Jackass” so much. It’s all the stupid things I’d love to do, (And in some cases have already done…but would willingly do again…) if I still had the bone density and the mettle.
Last night I watched the remake of the classic “Dawn of the Dead.” I must admit I loved it. It wasn’t really all that close to the original, but it sure was goofy fun. Then again, I’m a little biased I guess. I have always been a sucker for Zombie movies.
I remember when I was in my early teens, every Friday night Steve Guy and I would go to the video store and rent as many cheesy horror movies as we could watch, load up on gummy bears and other rotten treats and just vegetate.
I used to love it. Every chainsaw slash, every suspicious pool of blood, and every psychopathic mutant hell bent on revenge, all of it… It made me howl with laughter. It’s funny how that can seem innocent, (Being just about as graphic as violence can get…) but it was.
I didn’t work out today, but rather opted for a walk to The Planet cafe. I figured since it was a good 30-minute walk from where I live, that I would get my daily-required exercise without having to lift weights. My arms already feel like they weight about a million pounds, and I would probably wind up pulling them out of their sockets in the process. (That scenario is a little too Looney Toons for me today…)
The Planet seems more sterile than the last time I was here. I used to take comfort in coming here. It was a bastion (one of the last…) for those who cherish the arts, and beacon for those of similar interests. Now it seems more like a place for the “Try Hards” and not the “Die Hards” of yore. It just doesn’t have the same kinda soul that it once did.
Perhaps I’ve just been away from it for too long. Maybe I’m just misty eyed for the “Good old days.” I hope that’s not it. That would suck. That would mean I’ve been infected by the curse of getting older, and suffering from the worst of its symptoms, being “outta touch.”
I’m not sure why that seems important to me, I should know better. It’s probably denial about getting older. I’m beginning to equate this whole aging thing with the death of the Peter Pan character living inside me. My best guess is that it’s a juvenile evasion of the adult priorities that life has handed me.
Damn it, I hate that. I hate that we get programmed to give up on all the fun things in life, so we can be secure. I hate that survival means no more shopping cart races down a giant hill, or getting really high and trying to climb craggy rocks. (I realize the stupidity of this… and yet it still makes me sad…)
This is starting to sound like I think that I’m a old man. I do not. I’m just starting to understand that I have some limitations. Some of them imposed by mother nature, and some self imposed, but limitations nonetheless.
Gone are the days of feeling totally indestructible. I feel only sort of indestructible these days. I’ve become Indestructible within what I call a given set of parameters. (Fuck that’s sad.) I think that’s why I like “Jackass” so much. It’s all the stupid things I’d love to do, (And in some cases have already done…but would willingly do again…) if I still had the bone density and the mettle.
Last night I watched the remake of the classic “Dawn of the Dead.” I must admit I loved it. It wasn’t really all that close to the original, but it sure was goofy fun. Then again, I’m a little biased I guess. I have always been a sucker for Zombie movies.
I remember when I was in my early teens, every Friday night Steve Guy and I would go to the video store and rent as many cheesy horror movies as we could watch, load up on gummy bears and other rotten treats and just vegetate.
I used to love it. Every chainsaw slash, every suspicious pool of blood, and every psychopathic mutant hell bent on revenge, all of it… It made me howl with laughter. It’s funny how that can seem innocent, (Being just about as graphic as violence can get…) but it was.
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