07/11/05 The People's Glorious Republic of Marcus...

I have decided that it’s time for some sort of benevolent dictatorship to run “Fortress North America.” I have also decided that I will throw my hat into that ring. I nominated myself to become the new fearless leader. Hell… given who’s running the show these days, I suspect that I couldn’t do any worse.

Perhaps since others have imposed their will on me and mine, maybe I’ll be able to do the same thing. I have some ideas, and I think they would be of more benefit.

My first act would be to replace the three existing national anthems with the immortal classic “Back In Black” by AC / DC. I love that song. It’s strong, and it kind of says, “Hi… You may have noticed that we’ve made some changes.” (I like that.)

Next, the flags have to go. They all suck. They’re all so bloody BORING and all so terribly traditional. Who doesn’t use the colours red white or blue? Instead I was thinking of a yellow flag with a bunch of bananas on it. We’ll called it “Glorious Old Bananas” or something like that… I’ll work on that one… (Who amongst us needs stars and maple leaves when they can have fruit?)

That brings us to policy. I would create some new ministries and make up some totally new ones.

The Propaganda Ministry. (No beating around the bush with this one… I’m willing to call a spade a spade…) It will be responsible to me and me alone. Their job is to tell my “children” that all is well. I already have a few people in mind for this post.

The Ministry of The People’s Happiness. I love the sound of this one… They will work hand in hand with the Propaganda ministry. Their only aim is to please. We need to put smiles on each and every North American’s face. As a side benefit, they will be able to dispense psychoactive drugs free of charge to all my “Children”

The Department of The Navy and the Coast Guard will be amalgamated. The New ministry is to be called “That dirty bunch of Rum Soaked Sea Dogs and Pirates.” Just wait till you see the new letterhead… It’s truly smashing.

INS, Homeland Security, The RCMP, and The FBI, Customs and Revenue Canada, and their Mexican counterparts will also be amalgamated. They will be newly named “The Keep The Bad People Out Police” Their motto, translated from Latin is “Yes we really can do this to you…”

We also need a name for our new super country. Marcusland has a good ring to it… So does “The People’s Glorious Republic of Marcus…” Again I’ll have to ponder on it for a while.

Anyway…