02/07/05

People who dedicate themselves to the clergy freak me out. I just don't understand that level of commitment; especially to something I have difficulty understanding. (Mind you, I feel the same way about physics professors, line dancers, and people who sell shitty electronic calendars on the street… but I digress…)

I was at a hospital earlier this evening, and I literally ran into some Mormon preachers. They both seemed so very excited; clearly they were out to reel in a few for salvation. This had an almost insidious air to it. They were chattering away in the elevator and brandishing their gleaming white teeth. It was a surreal moment. It felt like the scene in “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas” when Thompson is tripping out in the Circus Circus Casino. The more I looked at their teeth, the stranger it got. In an instant I was convinced those teeth were designed to tear into me. I wished that I could have folded myself into a paper envelope and slid under the doors. Happily before my imagination got the better of me, the doors opened and I made it safely to my floor.

Then I heard, “Have a good night…”

And I thought to myself, “Aw fuck… now they're talking to me…”

“UHHHH… You too!” was the best I could muster.

I walked down the hall, to my friend's room, now clutching the US magazine I bought to cheer her up.

I suppose the best place to recruit for one's faith is a hospital. To me it's the last chance saloon of salvation. Check in before you check out. It's a very sneaky tactic, but I kind of admire it. There's a genius in its simplicity. Lord knows, a captive audience is a good audience.

I guess I'm not a fan of a belief system that exists to self propagate. To the best of my reckoning, faith is a personal thing. Mine to embrace, and mine to endure. I have never needed others to parrot my spiritual beliefs. I think everybody needs to find his or her own.

To a certain extent, I'm a hypocrite. I want people to follow in line with my political proclivities, and to many that's just as private a belief system. (Not that it will stop me from trying. I'll rage before the dying of the light before that ever happens….)