Tonight was a peculiar night. I went for a walk and stumbled into the Ship and Anchor for a pint. It’s one of my favorite haunts and pretty much has been for years. It’s a cool pub, and it has some of the most robust bar flies I have ever seen. Its patrons are lifers. (And it seems I am no exception…)
Anyway, I pretty much figured that the usual cast of idiots would be there, and once again I was not disappointed. The place was full, but happily there wasn’t a line. I hate having to wait to get into a bar. (Especially if I’m a regular, and there is a new doorman…) If anything, I was surprised, because they were all there at once. Normally they seem to come in shifts.
You can trust the Ship to be the same. It’s a little harbour in the storm. When you don’t know where to go, just head to the Ship. The food is good, and the conversation’s not too bad either, especially if you can avoid a hipster dufus from saddling up next to you. Best of all though, they pour a mean pint.
But I digress, as I’m trundling along, heading for a bar stool and a quick Carlsberg, I see something I’ve never seen before. Female public urination.
This pimped out Hummer pulls up along the sidewalk next to me, then this little bar star type gets out, hikes up her skirt, does a squat and starts peeing in the planter on the side walk. I’m shocked. (Although I guess I shouldn’t really be… Hell, I’ve peed in the street before…) It was like a traffic accident, I didn’t want to look, but I couldn’t help myself.
She was gushing like “Old Faithful,” and she just giggled the whole time. She even looked over at me and smiled. She almost looked proud of herself.
Then She hopped into the back seat of the Hummer, and sped off.
All I could think of was “WOW… I bet she was cold…”
I’m an Idiot.
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