I just read my friend Daniel's blog. He had some good quotes on there. i decided to put a few that I like here.
"I have a new life goal: get drunk enough to see the devil, take a few good pictures, sell them on eBay, become rich." - Jake Brigham
"It occurred to me that there was no difference between men, in intelligence or race, so profound as the difference between the sick and the well." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
"We have a political system that awards office to the most ruthless, cunning, and selfish of mortals, then act surprised when those willing to do anything to win power are equally willing to do anything with it." -Michael Rivero
"I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great." - Ray Charles
"This is the way the world ends; not with a bang, but a whimper." - T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Men
"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." - Frederick Buechner
"Now, now my good man. This is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (1694-1778) - On his deathbed, after a priest asked that he renounce Satan
Saturday, March 26, 2005
03/25/05 Slacking off on a Good Friday...
It's late, and I should be in bed. Instead, I'm sitting in front of this damn computer again. The cursor is flashing at me impatiently, almost like a neglected pet waiting to be fed. I had a nice quiet evening with Erin. We flaked out on the couch, and watched a couple of movies. It was nice. I like curling up with her at night, there's a sanity to it that grounds me.
I've got my headphones on so I can contain the wailing guitars that I find are a requirement when writing. Tonight's choice is the Doughboys - Home Again. It's a classic power pop record and one of my all time favorites for sure. It's the one I like to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic. Back in my campus radio days a song from this album got spun at least once a show.
I finally finished flicking through this months copy of Adbusters. The content is getting a little more focused than it used to be. It's nice to see that it's starting to get away from the sophomoric blather, and getting into the serious business of culture jamming.
Right now they have a cool little side business going. The magazine has started an anti-corporation. They are selling ethically made sneakers with no logo, (other than a blank white spot…) and have started up a record label that helps artists rather than fuck them and then rob them blind. Apparently they have a store opening up in Vancouver where you can buy ethically made and fairly traded goods. It's a great idea, and I wish them nothing but the greatest success.
Cooler still, with the purchase of a pair of sneakers, you get a share in the company. You get to be a shareholder. That's fantastic. I can't imagine Phil Knight at Nike surrendering shares with every purchase. His head would explode.
My insomnia is back with a vengeance. It's as if my conscious hates me. I need sleep; yet, it pretty much just tells me to “Go fuck myself…” Otherwise I'm okay. I am in a bit of a creative spurt. None of the new jokes I've written are clever, but they sure are fun, and a whole lot more blue than I have ever been. It's kind of liberating. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun as a comic. It's been a while. The Toronto excursion has proved to be more fruitful than I had expected.
The Rock Star attitude has finally started to fade, which is good for my soul. Now I get to knuckle down and become something stronger. What that is, I'm not too sure, but I'll know it as it begins to take its desired shape.
I'm doing two guest spots tomorrow night. I can't wait. I've been itching to get on stage for a few days now. I get out of sorts if I haven't been on in a while. It's like a drug, but it's not the adrenaline rush, or the laugher and applause that get me excited. It's the total freedom. The time that I spend on stage is mine, and no one else's. It belongs to me.
I've got my headphones on so I can contain the wailing guitars that I find are a requirement when writing. Tonight's choice is the Doughboys - Home Again. It's a classic power pop record and one of my all time favorites for sure. It's the one I like to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic. Back in my campus radio days a song from this album got spun at least once a show.
I finally finished flicking through this months copy of Adbusters. The content is getting a little more focused than it used to be. It's nice to see that it's starting to get away from the sophomoric blather, and getting into the serious business of culture jamming.
Right now they have a cool little side business going. The magazine has started an anti-corporation. They are selling ethically made sneakers with no logo, (other than a blank white spot…) and have started up a record label that helps artists rather than fuck them and then rob them blind. Apparently they have a store opening up in Vancouver where you can buy ethically made and fairly traded goods. It's a great idea, and I wish them nothing but the greatest success.
Cooler still, with the purchase of a pair of sneakers, you get a share in the company. You get to be a shareholder. That's fantastic. I can't imagine Phil Knight at Nike surrendering shares with every purchase. His head would explode.
My insomnia is back with a vengeance. It's as if my conscious hates me. I need sleep; yet, it pretty much just tells me to “Go fuck myself…” Otherwise I'm okay. I am in a bit of a creative spurt. None of the new jokes I've written are clever, but they sure are fun, and a whole lot more blue than I have ever been. It's kind of liberating. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun as a comic. It's been a while. The Toronto excursion has proved to be more fruitful than I had expected.
The Rock Star attitude has finally started to fade, which is good for my soul. Now I get to knuckle down and become something stronger. What that is, I'm not too sure, but I'll know it as it begins to take its desired shape.
I'm doing two guest spots tomorrow night. I can't wait. I've been itching to get on stage for a few days now. I get out of sorts if I haven't been on in a while. It's like a drug, but it's not the adrenaline rush, or the laugher and applause that get me excited. It's the total freedom. The time that I spend on stage is mine, and no one else's. It belongs to me.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Ad Men!
ad
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I snagged this from the Adbusters website. You should go there.
http://adbusters.org/home/
03/24/05 I think we should bring back the guillotine...
I'm tired of having spokespeople tell me how I should live my life. I don't need anyone to tell me what kind of toothpaste I want, or what soda I should drink. It strikes me that if Jesus Christ came back tomorrow morning, by noon, some shit bag ad exec would be all over him to sign with Budweiser or eBay, or some other organization willing to smear their corporate manure anywhere and everywhere. Imagine…
Jesus: God loves you. Drink Bud…
Announcer: The Prince of Peace loves The King of Beers…
Or perhaps…
Woman: Hey Jesus, I just can't get my teeth white… What should I do?
Jesus: Try new Crest Winterfresh… It's guaranteed to whiten your teeth in just 14 days.
Woman: Thanks Jesus, You saved me… from a life of yellow teeth I mean… Not that I…err… you know…. Praise Jesus!!!
Jesus: Testify sister (Smiles, showing his gleaming white teeth…)
Everywhere we go we are faced with more and more advertising. Is not left sacred?
Before a movie now, there are a good 15 minutes of shitty ads, and that's before the trailers. The gate price, and the price of concessions isn't enough… Nope they need to subject us to forced marketing. If I have to sit through it, they should be letting me in for free. Once I asked to see the manager of the cinema about it. He just smirked at me. I felt like punching him in his big fat nose. I hate being taken for a ride.
I didn't spend my hard earned money on a ticket so I could sit in the dark, and be bombarded. It makes me feel like I'm in A Clockwork Orange. The only thing missing are the clips to keep my eyelids open. Now I understand why that movie is so very violent.
If there is a just and merciful God, please let there be no more Brittney Spears commercials ever again. End the P Diddy ads, nix Jennifer Lopez, and set those home restoration people in Atlanta on fire. And while we're at it, could you stop Fox from calling themselves “Fair and Balanced” (Well… it's a lie… a big one… and they advertise it 24 hours a day…)
There has got to be a time when enough is enough. Just once I'd like to go to an event that has no advertising. No radio stations, no beer companies, just good entertainment. Sponsorship may have its place. Just not anywhere near me.
I might be a little more receptive if people asked me if I'd be willing to review their materials. Not once has this ever happened. I feel violated by marketing.
Jesus: God loves you. Drink Bud…
Announcer: The Prince of Peace loves The King of Beers…
Or perhaps…
Woman: Hey Jesus, I just can't get my teeth white… What should I do?
Jesus: Try new Crest Winterfresh… It's guaranteed to whiten your teeth in just 14 days.
Woman: Thanks Jesus, You saved me… from a life of yellow teeth I mean… Not that I…err… you know…. Praise Jesus!!!
Jesus: Testify sister (Smiles, showing his gleaming white teeth…)
Everywhere we go we are faced with more and more advertising. Is not left sacred?
Before a movie now, there are a good 15 minutes of shitty ads, and that's before the trailers. The gate price, and the price of concessions isn't enough… Nope they need to subject us to forced marketing. If I have to sit through it, they should be letting me in for free. Once I asked to see the manager of the cinema about it. He just smirked at me. I felt like punching him in his big fat nose. I hate being taken for a ride.
I didn't spend my hard earned money on a ticket so I could sit in the dark, and be bombarded. It makes me feel like I'm in A Clockwork Orange. The only thing missing are the clips to keep my eyelids open. Now I understand why that movie is so very violent.
If there is a just and merciful God, please let there be no more Brittney Spears commercials ever again. End the P Diddy ads, nix Jennifer Lopez, and set those home restoration people in Atlanta on fire. And while we're at it, could you stop Fox from calling themselves “Fair and Balanced” (Well… it's a lie… a big one… and they advertise it 24 hours a day…)
There has got to be a time when enough is enough. Just once I'd like to go to an event that has no advertising. No radio stations, no beer companies, just good entertainment. Sponsorship may have its place. Just not anywhere near me.
I might be a little more receptive if people asked me if I'd be willing to review their materials. Not once has this ever happened. I feel violated by marketing.
Monday, March 21, 2005
03/21/05 An email quiz...
Welcome to the March 2005 edition of getting to know Marcus.
1. What time did you get up this morning? I didn't… it was like noon.
2. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Million Dollar Baby.
3. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? I have two. The first is the new Battlestar Galactica, and the second is Arrested Development.
4. What did you have for breakfast? A coffee, hot and black.
5. What is your middle name? Charles Francis David
6. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian. Fettuccine Tuto Gusto is my favorite dish.
7. What do you dislike? The list is too long to even attempt to address. If you read older blog entries, you'll get some idea.
8. What is your favorite chip flavour? Salt and Vinegar
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site
10. What kind of car do you drive? None.
11. Favorite sandwich? Good old-fashioned ham and cheese
12. What characteristic do you despise? Sulking. I fucking hate that.
13. Favorite item of clothing? Currently, it's a charcoal grey thermal shirt.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Somewhere that's not too hot, with monkeys. I would become their king.
15. What colour is your bathroom? Off-white
16. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one.
17. Where would you retire? Probably on the Southern shore, in Newfoundland.
18. Favorite time of the day? 2am
19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 30th. I met Cuba Gooding jr. and the Toronto Maple leafs. I was also given a hatchet.
20. Where were you born? Calgary, Alberta
21. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
22. What fabric detergent do you use? Bio-Vert because Erin insists on it.
23. Coke or Pepsi? Royal Crown Cola.
24. Are you a morning person or a night? Night
25. What is your shoe size? 11
26. Do you have any pets? Not currently.
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A bigger me.
1. What time did you get up this morning? I didn't… it was like noon.
2. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Million Dollar Baby.
3. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? I have two. The first is the new Battlestar Galactica, and the second is Arrested Development.
4. What did you have for breakfast? A coffee, hot and black.
5. What is your middle name? Charles Francis David
6. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian. Fettuccine Tuto Gusto is my favorite dish.
7. What do you dislike? The list is too long to even attempt to address. If you read older blog entries, you'll get some idea.
8. What is your favorite chip flavour? Salt and Vinegar
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site
10. What kind of car do you drive? None.
11. Favorite sandwich? Good old-fashioned ham and cheese
12. What characteristic do you despise? Sulking. I fucking hate that.
13. Favorite item of clothing? Currently, it's a charcoal grey thermal shirt.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Somewhere that's not too hot, with monkeys. I would become their king.
15. What colour is your bathroom? Off-white
16. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one.
17. Where would you retire? Probably on the Southern shore, in Newfoundland.
18. Favorite time of the day? 2am
19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 30th. I met Cuba Gooding jr. and the Toronto Maple leafs. I was also given a hatchet.
20. Where were you born? Calgary, Alberta
21. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
22. What fabric detergent do you use? Bio-Vert because Erin insists on it.
23. Coke or Pepsi? Royal Crown Cola.
24. Are you a morning person or a night? Night
25. What is your shoe size? 11
26. Do you have any pets? Not currently.
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A bigger me.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
03/20/05 The Great Angry Rooster fight
I am getting sick in the heart. Not in a literal sense, but I do feel sad. Last night I hooked up with Brett, and we went to the Ship and Anchor for a pint. From our vantage point we noticed a vicious street fight. It was like watching two lesser apes smack their chests for some sort of brood dominance, but without any sense of priority.
It makes me sick to watch. But in a very dark way, I kind of wished that they would have finished each other off. Society would be down two alpha males, and the gene pool would be that much richer for it. I have never been aggressive that way, even in those moments when I'm smashed out of my gourd. I tend to go the other way, happy go lucky, and brutally frank, but happy nonetheless.
I have never seen the need to lay fists on someone else. I've wanted to, but have always restrained these primal pressures, because I know they solve nothing. I have nothing to prove by bashing the shit out of someone, and I fail to comprehend the people who do.
What possesses a person to lose that kind of control? I'm keenly aware that alcohol plays big a part, but all it really does is open the door, it still takes the wanton desire to walk through it and take that first swing. I'd like to say it's an intelligence issue, but sadly I know it is not. Perhaps there are some external pressures that exert influence, like social and “eco-demonic” forces that drive someone to lash out at even the most miniscule of circumstances.
Maybe, the rap counter culture that has arisen in teenager land shares some of the responsibility, although I am not convinced. Regardless of the culture of violence, that hip-hop has been constantly demonized for; it still takes a willing participant to perpetuate it.
Statistics aside, it seems as if violent behavior is on the rise. Calgary has had a lot of problems with violence in the nightclub scene lately. There is an obvious seething undercurrent here and it's starting to boil over. Two murders, a stabbing, and numerous fights have thrust the issue into the spotlight over last few months. The police appear to have been caught with their pants down, and have been very slow to react to concerns about public safety.
I think the reason why this kind of shit crushes me is because I have hope. I desperately want people to rise above petty nonsense and work towards a greater good. Imagine if all that aggressive energy gave us something positive. What a wonderful world this would be. Instead we get bar fights and macho insecurity.
Perhaps I should give up. Forget to care that things are burning down around us. It would be much simpler that way. If only I could.
The way I see it, someone has to care. Once we all give up, the gig is over.
It makes me sick to watch. But in a very dark way, I kind of wished that they would have finished each other off. Society would be down two alpha males, and the gene pool would be that much richer for it. I have never been aggressive that way, even in those moments when I'm smashed out of my gourd. I tend to go the other way, happy go lucky, and brutally frank, but happy nonetheless.
I have never seen the need to lay fists on someone else. I've wanted to, but have always restrained these primal pressures, because I know they solve nothing. I have nothing to prove by bashing the shit out of someone, and I fail to comprehend the people who do.
What possesses a person to lose that kind of control? I'm keenly aware that alcohol plays big a part, but all it really does is open the door, it still takes the wanton desire to walk through it and take that first swing. I'd like to say it's an intelligence issue, but sadly I know it is not. Perhaps there are some external pressures that exert influence, like social and “eco-demonic” forces that drive someone to lash out at even the most miniscule of circumstances.
Maybe, the rap counter culture that has arisen in teenager land shares some of the responsibility, although I am not convinced. Regardless of the culture of violence, that hip-hop has been constantly demonized for; it still takes a willing participant to perpetuate it.
Statistics aside, it seems as if violent behavior is on the rise. Calgary has had a lot of problems with violence in the nightclub scene lately. There is an obvious seething undercurrent here and it's starting to boil over. Two murders, a stabbing, and numerous fights have thrust the issue into the spotlight over last few months. The police appear to have been caught with their pants down, and have been very slow to react to concerns about public safety.
I think the reason why this kind of shit crushes me is because I have hope. I desperately want people to rise above petty nonsense and work towards a greater good. Imagine if all that aggressive energy gave us something positive. What a wonderful world this would be. Instead we get bar fights and macho insecurity.
Perhaps I should give up. Forget to care that things are burning down around us. It would be much simpler that way. If only I could.
The way I see it, someone has to care. Once we all give up, the gig is over.
Friday, March 18, 2005
03/18/05 I Can Jump Higher Than You Can...
My favorite people in the universe have always been the ones who were never afraid to stomp all over conventional thinking. The kind of people that stepped outside the box, and made that great leap into the unknown. These pathfinders, as I like to call them, were (and still are…) branded as crackpots, and chided for even conceiving of their triumphs.
I give to you as an example; The Wright Brothers, who were thought to be insane, and ahem… flew in the face of convention. The newspapers at the time declared Man would never fly. Then on that fateful day in Kitty Hawk, man soared with the birds for the first time. I believe Wilbur Wright's first words were “Fuck You William Randolph Hearst…” Alright probably not… But I bet he was thinking it!
Now with all that being said, there are still many occasions where people who think they're visionaries don't actually think in a non-conventional way or even in a rational way for that matter. These people are insane. The best example I can provide here is Bush's plan to create a missile defense system over “Fortress North America.” It's not only a waste of an incredible amount of money, but its likelihood of success is less than marginal at best. You'd be better off covering the continent with a giant trampoline. Not only would it provide “protection,” but you could also sell tickets, and treat it like the world's biggest amusement. As we all know, everyone loves a trampoline… (Now that would be visionary…)
Innovation comes from thinking outside of the box that society makes for us. We live in a world that is aching for a really big change. It's time for us as a race to start thinking outside of the box again. Maybe it's time to look at what's not working around here, and make some changes. North America is currently being run by people who don't have the slightest inkling of vision. (And in President Bush's case the ability to spell vision…) This is an unfortunate, but fixable if we begin to act now. Right now.
I think the first step begins by turning off the television. It lies to us anyway, and there's little time for distraction. No one needs to be caught off guard by a stray episode of The Simple life. That kind of WMD should be left to the experts. Only by freeing ourselves of Paris Hilton, will we ever be truly free.
Secondly, register to vote. This whole thing will collapse like a cake in the oven (at a very busy preschool…) if you don't have the tools to do the task at hand. My Grandpa used to say, “You gotta have the right tools for the right job.”
Thirdly, get involved. This “I don't have time…” excuse doesn't fly. Make time… It has a very direct effect on your future (and the ones you love too…) Find out what you can about the issues, and take the time to find the right candidate. It's no longer about parties, just process, and survival.
Fourth, Go out and actually vote. Condi Rice is being touted as the next Republican candidate for President. No one needs that. Equally wrong would be letting Stephen Harper become Prime Minister of Canada. (Alright, this is my bias, but I really believe these people are regressive and will hurt us all in the long run… I'll stand by this. Every single word. I may be proven wrong, but I doubt it.)
I gotta run, It's my turn on the trampoline. The kid in front of me just cracked his skull on the frame. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
I give to you as an example; The Wright Brothers, who were thought to be insane, and ahem… flew in the face of convention. The newspapers at the time declared Man would never fly. Then on that fateful day in Kitty Hawk, man soared with the birds for the first time. I believe Wilbur Wright's first words were “Fuck You William Randolph Hearst…” Alright probably not… But I bet he was thinking it!
Now with all that being said, there are still many occasions where people who think they're visionaries don't actually think in a non-conventional way or even in a rational way for that matter. These people are insane. The best example I can provide here is Bush's plan to create a missile defense system over “Fortress North America.” It's not only a waste of an incredible amount of money, but its likelihood of success is less than marginal at best. You'd be better off covering the continent with a giant trampoline. Not only would it provide “protection,” but you could also sell tickets, and treat it like the world's biggest amusement. As we all know, everyone loves a trampoline… (Now that would be visionary…)
Innovation comes from thinking outside of the box that society makes for us. We live in a world that is aching for a really big change. It's time for us as a race to start thinking outside of the box again. Maybe it's time to look at what's not working around here, and make some changes. North America is currently being run by people who don't have the slightest inkling of vision. (And in President Bush's case the ability to spell vision…) This is an unfortunate, but fixable if we begin to act now. Right now.
I think the first step begins by turning off the television. It lies to us anyway, and there's little time for distraction. No one needs to be caught off guard by a stray episode of The Simple life. That kind of WMD should be left to the experts. Only by freeing ourselves of Paris Hilton, will we ever be truly free.
Secondly, register to vote. This whole thing will collapse like a cake in the oven (at a very busy preschool…) if you don't have the tools to do the task at hand. My Grandpa used to say, “You gotta have the right tools for the right job.”
Thirdly, get involved. This “I don't have time…” excuse doesn't fly. Make time… It has a very direct effect on your future (and the ones you love too…) Find out what you can about the issues, and take the time to find the right candidate. It's no longer about parties, just process, and survival.
Fourth, Go out and actually vote. Condi Rice is being touted as the next Republican candidate for President. No one needs that. Equally wrong would be letting Stephen Harper become Prime Minister of Canada. (Alright, this is my bias, but I really believe these people are regressive and will hurt us all in the long run… I'll stand by this. Every single word. I may be proven wrong, but I doubt it.)
I gotta run, It's my turn on the trampoline. The kid in front of me just cracked his skull on the frame. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
03/16/05
I feel fine. Not great, not lousy, just fine… It's been slow at work lately, and I have been getting more sleep than I usually do. I'm getting concerned with the lack of work. It seems like we have hit a down period. This is not what I was hoping for.
I picked up some more gigs. That's a really good thing. April will be a good month. I'll be able to stretch out a little more on stage. The thing that really sucks about Calgary is that there are no places to work out new jokes. Denise has always been good at getting me some stage time, but it's just not enough.
I've been reading a good book lately. It's called “The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night-time” It was written by a man named Mark Haddon. It's a story of a Murdered dog, and a 16 year old savant trying to figure out why it happened. It's really quite odd. It may be my favorite book in the last couple of years. I highly recommend it.
The ipod has had some good tunes lately too. Here is a list of some discs I've downloaded to it lately.
1) James - Wah Wah (a collection of James jam sessions… with an early version of “Tomorrow”)
2) Hagfish - Rocks Your Lame Ass (Fun power pop…)
3) Beck - Sea Change (Not quite the masterpiece that “Mutations” was, but still quite good)
4) David Byrne - Grown Backwards
5) Drive - Jehovah's witness protection program
6) Sean Panting - Lotus Land (One of the best records I have ever heard…)
7) Goldfinger - Disconnection Notice (not the best, but very catchy…)
I picked up some more gigs. That's a really good thing. April will be a good month. I'll be able to stretch out a little more on stage. The thing that really sucks about Calgary is that there are no places to work out new jokes. Denise has always been good at getting me some stage time, but it's just not enough.
I've been reading a good book lately. It's called “The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night-time” It was written by a man named Mark Haddon. It's a story of a Murdered dog, and a 16 year old savant trying to figure out why it happened. It's really quite odd. It may be my favorite book in the last couple of years. I highly recommend it.
The ipod has had some good tunes lately too. Here is a list of some discs I've downloaded to it lately.
1) James - Wah Wah (a collection of James jam sessions… with an early version of “Tomorrow”)
2) Hagfish - Rocks Your Lame Ass (Fun power pop…)
3) Beck - Sea Change (Not quite the masterpiece that “Mutations” was, but still quite good)
4) David Byrne - Grown Backwards
5) Drive - Jehovah's witness protection program
6) Sean Panting - Lotus Land (One of the best records I have ever heard…)
7) Goldfinger - Disconnection Notice (not the best, but very catchy…)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
03/15/05 verbage...
The day I left Toronto, Brett and Peter and I were in a cab on our way to a hotel to meet our friends. We started laughing about how there should be store that caters to the needs of the truly strange. Just in case you need you need a Mexican wrestling mask, a mickey of Vodka, and some mousetraps. I'm not entirely sure it would be a moneymaker, but it would be the most interesting retail outlet since the clearance sale that sent Kmart to that great department store in the sky. (The Canadian operation met its maker about a decade ago…)
The concept triggered a thought. I think it's neat how wildly divergent people are. The differences that we have make for one hell of an interesting place. I think it's time we stopped lumping people into groups based on ethnicity, gender, political bias or religious affiliation. In my estimation, they do not make the measure of a person.
Maybe we can look past all that window dressing, and see people for what they really are. While it can be argued that these things all have a place in creating the identity of a person, they are nothing more than primary construction materials. Seeing them as anything more, has led to untold volumes of bloodshed and destruction. The misunderstandings caused by this flawed set of demographics have made the world a very insecure place.
Think of all the Shock and Awe that could have been avoided. (Not all of it mind you…)
Imagine measuring our fellow man with a simpler set of standards. Deciding on our actions based on the notion of character, rather than say, by skin colour. Would it not reflect a happier wisdom if we refrained from making sweeping generalizations, and concentrated on what lies within the human heart?
The concept triggered a thought. I think it's neat how wildly divergent people are. The differences that we have make for one hell of an interesting place. I think it's time we stopped lumping people into groups based on ethnicity, gender, political bias or religious affiliation. In my estimation, they do not make the measure of a person.
Maybe we can look past all that window dressing, and see people for what they really are. While it can be argued that these things all have a place in creating the identity of a person, they are nothing more than primary construction materials. Seeing them as anything more, has led to untold volumes of bloodshed and destruction. The misunderstandings caused by this flawed set of demographics have made the world a very insecure place.
Think of all the Shock and Awe that could have been avoided. (Not all of it mind you…)
Imagine measuring our fellow man with a simpler set of standards. Deciding on our actions based on the notion of character, rather than say, by skin colour. Would it not reflect a happier wisdom if we refrained from making sweeping generalizations, and concentrated on what lies within the human heart?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
03/12/05 Part one...
So, last night was fun. I did a guest spot at Yuk Yuks. I was supposed to do two of them, but I gave one to Brett, because he decided to come out from Toronto for the weekend. Must be nice to have access to travel like that.
In a perfect world, we should all be able to travel for nothing. That would rock. My shoes would have so many miles; you'd be able to see the bottom of my feet through the worn rubber. I'd go everywhere I could think of, from the Wailing Wall to Walla Walla, and everywhere in between. Maybe I'd get lost in the Amazon Basin, and maybe I wouldn't mind it that much.
At the second show last night there were a pair of Neo Nazi skinheads sitting in the audience. Damn it I hate them so much. They were sitting there, smirking and displaying their ignorance for all to see. It bothers me when I see the ignorant rejection of truths in favor of lies and deceit. The kind of Lies that lack the volition of human decency, and serve only to sever one's self from reason.
More to come…
In a perfect world, we should all be able to travel for nothing. That would rock. My shoes would have so many miles; you'd be able to see the bottom of my feet through the worn rubber. I'd go everywhere I could think of, from the Wailing Wall to Walla Walla, and everywhere in between. Maybe I'd get lost in the Amazon Basin, and maybe I wouldn't mind it that much.
At the second show last night there were a pair of Neo Nazi skinheads sitting in the audience. Damn it I hate them so much. They were sitting there, smirking and displaying their ignorance for all to see. It bothers me when I see the ignorant rejection of truths in favor of lies and deceit. The kind of Lies that lack the volition of human decency, and serve only to sever one's self from reason.
More to come…
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
03/09/05 Second entry
Still more stuff about me…
1. I (like an awful lot of Canadians) love Kraft Dinner.
2. I think Bob Marley actually was a prophet.
3. I love fried chicken. (I have had to restrain myself on so many occasions… Why couldn't there be a “Southern Fried Chicken” Diet. Damn it all…
4. I love going to museums.
5. I wish I could paint. That would be cool.
6. Homeless people scare the shit out of me…
7. I love gospel music. (A strange irony for those who know me well…)
8. I miss the ocean. Every time I go home, the brine smell from the Atlantic fills me with joy.
9. I never sleep well…
10. I really like shoe shopping. (This is something I picked up from my mother… I can't explain it…)
11. I love Bubble Gum. I just wish the flavor lasted longer.
12. I am a Rock star at heart.
13. I hate alpha males, and all the macho bullshit that comes with them.
14. I have always hated disco. There is nothing campy about it… It's just crap and nothing more. Gloria Gaynor will suffer in the eternal hellfire. I'm pretty fucking sure Barry Gibb is saving her a seat.
15. I love motion pictures. The good, the bad, and the utterly terrible. I love them all.
16. I miss hockey. I'm desperate for it.
1. I (like an awful lot of Canadians) love Kraft Dinner.
2. I think Bob Marley actually was a prophet.
3. I love fried chicken. (I have had to restrain myself on so many occasions… Why couldn't there be a “Southern Fried Chicken” Diet. Damn it all…
4. I love going to museums.
5. I wish I could paint. That would be cool.
6. Homeless people scare the shit out of me…
7. I love gospel music. (A strange irony for those who know me well…)
8. I miss the ocean. Every time I go home, the brine smell from the Atlantic fills me with joy.
9. I never sleep well…
10. I really like shoe shopping. (This is something I picked up from my mother… I can't explain it…)
11. I love Bubble Gum. I just wish the flavor lasted longer.
12. I am a Rock star at heart.
13. I hate alpha males, and all the macho bullshit that comes with them.
14. I have always hated disco. There is nothing campy about it… It's just crap and nothing more. Gloria Gaynor will suffer in the eternal hellfire. I'm pretty fucking sure Barry Gibb is saving her a seat.
15. I love motion pictures. The good, the bad, and the utterly terrible. I love them all.
16. I miss hockey. I'm desperate for it.
03/09/05 Orange Crush for the Unwashed Masses...
There comes a time in everyone's meager existence that you need to stop for a second and take stock of your life. The last few days have been like that for me. I have started to ask myself what I really want out of my life. I have come to the conclusion that I have no functional idea what the answer is. I know that my life is pretty good right now, but I still can't shake the feeling that something is missing.
It feels like that moment when you are trying to tell someone a story, and you forget a name… and it's on the tip of your tongue. The more you try to remember it, the further it slips away from you. Then your brain wakes you at 4am to expel it out.
I feel like I've awoken from a long slumber. The problem is I'm still groggy from it. I'm roused, but not too conscious yet. My birthday felt more like an alarm than a celebration. It had the same kind of stark realization as looking at the clock on Monday morning and realizing that I'm late for work. I'm scrambling, jumping on one leg, trying to pull my pants on.
I have a show on Wednesday. I'm excited; it's the first show since I have been back. I can barely contain myself. I'm anxious; I know it's going to be fun.
For some reason I'm having a craving for Orange Soda. When I was a little kid, my grandpa used to take me to the 711 for Orange Soda when I was feeling crummy. Since then, whenever I need a little pick me up, I go and get one. It's funny how we can find comfort in the strangest things. It gives me an idea for a marketing slogan.
“Orange Crush… It's cheaper than Zoloft.”
It's pure genius…
I think it may be time for a little image change. I think it might be fun to have a little update, something a little hipper (without looking like an aging, desperate to stay cool hairdresser, or a sad cover band rocker dude… that would be a travesty of epic proportions…)
It feels like that moment when you are trying to tell someone a story, and you forget a name… and it's on the tip of your tongue. The more you try to remember it, the further it slips away from you. Then your brain wakes you at 4am to expel it out.
I feel like I've awoken from a long slumber. The problem is I'm still groggy from it. I'm roused, but not too conscious yet. My birthday felt more like an alarm than a celebration. It had the same kind of stark realization as looking at the clock on Monday morning and realizing that I'm late for work. I'm scrambling, jumping on one leg, trying to pull my pants on.
I have a show on Wednesday. I'm excited; it's the first show since I have been back. I can barely contain myself. I'm anxious; I know it's going to be fun.
For some reason I'm having a craving for Orange Soda. When I was a little kid, my grandpa used to take me to the 711 for Orange Soda when I was feeling crummy. Since then, whenever I need a little pick me up, I go and get one. It's funny how we can find comfort in the strangest things. It gives me an idea for a marketing slogan.
“Orange Crush… It's cheaper than Zoloft.”
It's pure genius…
I think it may be time for a little image change. I think it might be fun to have a little update, something a little hipper (without looking like an aging, desperate to stay cool hairdresser, or a sad cover band rocker dude… that would be a travesty of epic proportions…)
Friday, March 04, 2005
03/04/05 Kinky Sex Makes The World go Around...
The more I write in this blog, the more I feel like I should live in a shack in Montana.
It seems that, I dither on about how I'm feeling, or I spill my politics out, with all the gusto I can muster. I guess it's become like my very own manifesto. The truth is, it's just a place to vent. I'm just an average Joe with lofty ambitions, who arrogantly enough, thinks that he should be able to share his intolerances, loves, passions, and fears.
It's late again, and I'm flipping channels, trying to find something that will lull me to sleep. There seems to be nothing but infomercials.
“Pick up the phone, Talk with hot women who will pretend to be interested in your empty life… Who will pretend to fuck you… as long as the VISA isn't maxed…”
I'm amazed at how much money these things must actually make. Selling escapes is a clever way to make some cash. There is nothing to ship, nothing to make (besides small talk, at 5 bucks a minute…) nothing tangible to package. There's almost zero overhead, and you get to make tons of cash, and all you have to do is pretend. Pretend so some poor schmuck can live in fantasyland. It's genius.
It's sad that we have gotten to that place. We now medicate our imagination, much the way we would an illness. Has our society gotten so lonesome? Have we pushed ourselves to that point? I saw a documentary once that tried to explain why kinky sex has come into the spotlight again in our society. The theory was this: we do what we need to, so we can feel something, and in some cases just so we can feel anything. I think I'm inclined to agree.
I think that we live in a world that lost any sense when it comes to its priorities. We are overrun by shitty television, designed to break our will and provide some kind of empty comfort. Commercials bombard our senses, and we bathe in the vapid blue glow of the cathode ray tube. Its mixed messages keep us dulled and confused. Infotainment has replaced legitimate newsgathering. When the biggest news story on CNN is the fact that Brad Pitt has split from Jennifer Aniston, there should be warning bells going off, and yet there are none, Media thrusts stars in front of us like royalty, keeping us at bay while we daydream about the good life. It keeps us from asking important questions, it keeps us quiet.
I often wish that I had the intellect of a kitten. It would be nice not to think too much about things. Imagine a life of complete and blissful ignorance. It must be peaceful. Perhaps I should just sit back, relax and let the TV cook my brain into submission. If you think about it, it's kind of the perfect lobotomy. Passive, yet it doesn't fry the parts needed to function in the vacuum that is 9 to 5. It's a pleasant fiction indeed.
For more information call 1 976 hot chic... ask for Bambi... Trust me... It will only hurt for a second.
End of Transmission
It seems that, I dither on about how I'm feeling, or I spill my politics out, with all the gusto I can muster. I guess it's become like my very own manifesto. The truth is, it's just a place to vent. I'm just an average Joe with lofty ambitions, who arrogantly enough, thinks that he should be able to share his intolerances, loves, passions, and fears.
It's late again, and I'm flipping channels, trying to find something that will lull me to sleep. There seems to be nothing but infomercials.
“Pick up the phone, Talk with hot women who will pretend to be interested in your empty life… Who will pretend to fuck you… as long as the VISA isn't maxed…”
I'm amazed at how much money these things must actually make. Selling escapes is a clever way to make some cash. There is nothing to ship, nothing to make (besides small talk, at 5 bucks a minute…) nothing tangible to package. There's almost zero overhead, and you get to make tons of cash, and all you have to do is pretend. Pretend so some poor schmuck can live in fantasyland. It's genius.
It's sad that we have gotten to that place. We now medicate our imagination, much the way we would an illness. Has our society gotten so lonesome? Have we pushed ourselves to that point? I saw a documentary once that tried to explain why kinky sex has come into the spotlight again in our society. The theory was this: we do what we need to, so we can feel something, and in some cases just so we can feel anything. I think I'm inclined to agree.
I think that we live in a world that lost any sense when it comes to its priorities. We are overrun by shitty television, designed to break our will and provide some kind of empty comfort. Commercials bombard our senses, and we bathe in the vapid blue glow of the cathode ray tube. Its mixed messages keep us dulled and confused. Infotainment has replaced legitimate newsgathering. When the biggest news story on CNN is the fact that Brad Pitt has split from Jennifer Aniston, there should be warning bells going off, and yet there are none, Media thrusts stars in front of us like royalty, keeping us at bay while we daydream about the good life. It keeps us from asking important questions, it keeps us quiet.
I often wish that I had the intellect of a kitten. It would be nice not to think too much about things. Imagine a life of complete and blissful ignorance. It must be peaceful. Perhaps I should just sit back, relax and let the TV cook my brain into submission. If you think about it, it's kind of the perfect lobotomy. Passive, yet it doesn't fry the parts needed to function in the vacuum that is 9 to 5. It's a pleasant fiction indeed.
For more information call 1 976 hot chic... ask for Bambi... Trust me... It will only hurt for a second.
End of Transmission
Thursday, March 03, 2005
03/03/05
I’m back to work at the day job. Things seem to have gone well here since I have been gone. I have been feeling great. There is a spring in my step that had been missing for some time. Yvonne looked relieved that I was back. She told me she was worried that I wouldn’t come back. I assured her that I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
It’s nice to sit in my big leather chair again. It’s like an old friend. Once I plunked my ass down it, I felt at home again. I think I may have pissed off some of my charges, but what odds, the cat’s been away, and when Yvonne isn’t around, they try to get away with shit.
Speaking of which, that poor woman needs some rest. Holy smokes!!!
My trip to Toronto was great. I needed that time to make sure that the path I was on was the right one. I now feel as if I have a flashlight to help illuminate the way. I’m enjoying writing again. More to the point, I’m excited about writing again. There are so many things I want to finally talk about, and I’m finding new ways to look at them. There are a couple of older jokes that I had buried because I was tired of them, but now I can see them in a whole new light, and they have more meat to pick off the bone, more than I ever thought they did.
My 34th birthday is only 2 days away now. This is the first year that I’m not really as excited about it. It has become a non-issue for me. Maybe it’s because this is not a monumental birthday. It’s not 30, it’s not 40… Just 34.
In other news, my favourite team, The Calgary Flames, has purchased a minority share in the Stampeders. Football is going to be fun to watch this summer; The Stamps have new owners, a new coach, a new quarterback, and a better receiving core. They look like they might have found some light at the end of the tunnel. After a few fucked up seasons, it’s nice to see the franchise get its shit together.
End of Transmission.
It’s nice to sit in my big leather chair again. It’s like an old friend. Once I plunked my ass down it, I felt at home again. I think I may have pissed off some of my charges, but what odds, the cat’s been away, and when Yvonne isn’t around, they try to get away with shit.
Speaking of which, that poor woman needs some rest. Holy smokes!!!
My trip to Toronto was great. I needed that time to make sure that the path I was on was the right one. I now feel as if I have a flashlight to help illuminate the way. I’m enjoying writing again. More to the point, I’m excited about writing again. There are so many things I want to finally talk about, and I’m finding new ways to look at them. There are a couple of older jokes that I had buried because I was tired of them, but now I can see them in a whole new light, and they have more meat to pick off the bone, more than I ever thought they did.
My 34th birthday is only 2 days away now. This is the first year that I’m not really as excited about it. It has become a non-issue for me. Maybe it’s because this is not a monumental birthday. It’s not 30, it’s not 40… Just 34.
In other news, my favourite team, The Calgary Flames, has purchased a minority share in the Stampeders. Football is going to be fun to watch this summer; The Stamps have new owners, a new coach, a new quarterback, and a better receiving core. They look like they might have found some light at the end of the tunnel. After a few fucked up seasons, it’s nice to see the franchise get its shit together.
End of Transmission.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
02/26/05
Last night I had a really good show… The crowd in the super club was young and pumped. They were my people. I felt like a tiger on stage. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins like a run away freight train, and I felt like I could do anything. It felt like I might be able to fly. I feel liberated.
After my set, Marc Breslin came to speak with me. He gave me a new tag for a joke. That was really cool. He has been really helpful. I'll be honest this man impresses me. He has calmness to his demeanor. There is wisdom to his words, and he speaks in a manner that reflects that wisdom without any sense of arrogance. (At least to me… so far…)
After the show we (the Calgary contingent…) wandered off to a pub called Jeremiah's. There was a strange energy in the room. I didn't feel like celebrating too much… I feel like a kid who just learned how to read, and is trying to gleam as much information as possible. (And all at once…) For the first time in a while, I have re asserted control of my career, and it feels great. I have to remember that there is a natural pace to things. This may be the most difficult lesson of my life so far.
Brett and I wandered off to a donut shop and stayed there till about 5am. We talked about our lives, our hope and fears, and understood each other as grown men might. It has been good for our friendship for me to be here. I got to exorcise my demons, and he got to meet his head on. Between us, we have managed to regroup ourselves, and make sure the tether is tied tightly to the earth.
Tonight we get to rush off and seal the fate of the poor Mississauga folk. It will be good to perform together again. I told him that I believe one day he will be like Nero, playing his violin, while Rome burns. For the first time, I think he might believe me.
More tales from the front to come.
After my set, Marc Breslin came to speak with me. He gave me a new tag for a joke. That was really cool. He has been really helpful. I'll be honest this man impresses me. He has calmness to his demeanor. There is wisdom to his words, and he speaks in a manner that reflects that wisdom without any sense of arrogance. (At least to me… so far…)
After the show we (the Calgary contingent…) wandered off to a pub called Jeremiah's. There was a strange energy in the room. I didn't feel like celebrating too much… I feel like a kid who just learned how to read, and is trying to gleam as much information as possible. (And all at once…) For the first time in a while, I have re asserted control of my career, and it feels great. I have to remember that there is a natural pace to things. This may be the most difficult lesson of my life so far.
Brett and I wandered off to a donut shop and stayed there till about 5am. We talked about our lives, our hope and fears, and understood each other as grown men might. It has been good for our friendship for me to be here. I got to exorcise my demons, and he got to meet his head on. Between us, we have managed to regroup ourselves, and make sure the tether is tied tightly to the earth.
Tonight we get to rush off and seal the fate of the poor Mississauga folk. It will be good to perform together again. I told him that I believe one day he will be like Nero, playing his violin, while Rome burns. For the first time, I think he might believe me.
More tales from the front to come.
Friday, February 25, 2005
02/25/05 2nd entry...
Still More Things About Me…
1) I love hotdogs. I don't care what they are made from. In fact, the next person that gives me a hard time about them is getting a kick in the junk.
2) I also love popcorn with lots of butter on it. (see above…)
3) Coffee is a gift from the heavens.
4) Soup is good food.
5) I hate cold weather.
6) I don't give a shit about rap stars. I just don't care. I am a kid from Newfoundland. There is nothing that I have in common with
P Diddy.
7) I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. If you wanna know it, you have to ask.
8) I'm clumsy.
9) I want to quit smoking.
10) I hate cars. It's such a silly macho thing.
11) I love the sound of cellos and violins. Esp in Yiddish music.
12) I can be bought for a small amount. The question is an amount of what? (hint; It's not money…)
13) I am no longer afraid of success.
14) Hippies annoy me.
15) I like to read. Just about anything will do.
16) I hate pop music.
17) I have dreams about blowing up the creators of American Idol. That show makes me physically sick to my stomach.
18) I'd love to live in the country. A small town would do quite nicely.
19) I don't trust our government. That being said, I don't like the other guys either. Better the devil you do know…
1) I love hotdogs. I don't care what they are made from. In fact, the next person that gives me a hard time about them is getting a kick in the junk.
2) I also love popcorn with lots of butter on it. (see above…)
3) Coffee is a gift from the heavens.
4) Soup is good food.
5) I hate cold weather.
6) I don't give a shit about rap stars. I just don't care. I am a kid from Newfoundland. There is nothing that I have in common with
P Diddy.
7) I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. If you wanna know it, you have to ask.
8) I'm clumsy.
9) I want to quit smoking.
10) I hate cars. It's such a silly macho thing.
11) I love the sound of cellos and violins. Esp in Yiddish music.
12) I can be bought for a small amount. The question is an amount of what? (hint; It's not money…)
13) I am no longer afraid of success.
14) Hippies annoy me.
15) I like to read. Just about anything will do.
16) I hate pop music.
17) I have dreams about blowing up the creators of American Idol. That show makes me physically sick to my stomach.
18) I'd love to live in the country. A small town would do quite nicely.
19) I don't trust our government. That being said, I don't like the other guys either. Better the devil you do know…
02/25/05 Marcus The Red Conquers Toronto
I'm sitting at a busy little Café on the corner of Bathurst and King Street. I've come here every day since I've been here. They have free wireless Internet, and the coffee is good. One of the youngsters in the stand up scene works here, and he treats us well.
Damn it's cold here today. It's been blustery all day. Brett and I met up with the gang from Yuks and wandered about like typical tourists. It was fun. I managed to find Erin a neat little gift that I think she'll really like. It was a good day.
I have a spot tonight at the super club. I feel good. The show on Tuesday was a bit wobbly, (mostly because of nerves… but it still went well enough…) and I plan to redeem myself a little. Time to exude the confidence that I have always prided myself for.
Last night was kinda strange… The Underground was full of Toronto friends and Calgary friends. None of them knew each other, the only commonality was that we are all involved in this retarded show business thingy. I finally met Stacey, the person responsible for booking out here. I told her I was a rock star. I'm not sure she believed me, but all the Calgary people backed me to the hilt. (God bless Denise and Chris…) It's nice to know that I have a few good cut men (persons…) in my corner before the bell rings for the next round. My ego has gotten a good boost, but the damage to my id may be irreversible. I think I now actually believe I'm a rock star. Danger Will Robinson… DANGER… Hopefully I will recover from this nonsense soon…
The highlight of my night was making Joanna Downey (the mother of Stand up comedy in Canada…) laugh so hard she shot red wine out her nose. That was hilarious. She looked like her head might explode. At first, I wasn't sure she would survive this trauma, but the patient managed to make a full recovery.
Tomorrow night we are going to bring the whole rock star thing to the stage. Poor Mississauga, they won't know what hit them. This is going to be fun. I can hear the calliope warming up in the background, and the smell of popcorn is wafting around me. Now If only I could find an elephant, and preferably a pink one.
I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt I was a Viking commanding a long boat as we sailed through the mist. While I've always liked the whole “horns on the helmet” as a fashion statement, the logic behind the whole thing was completely lost to me. What in my subconscious decided to spin that yarn? Perhaps there will be another era for the Viking. Maybe it was a premonition of things to come. Come to think of it, I have a strange yearning for clothes made from sheepskins. Possibly it just means I'm about to get press ganged into something, and most likely it will be foolhardy. I heard there was an opening for a job as first mate on a fine vessel called the S.S. Minnow… I wonder if they offer benefits?
It seems that while I was content in drawing the fool card from the deck in deciding to come here, I've managed to convert it to a full house. There's nothing quite like pure dumb luck and force of will to propel you forward.
All I have left to say tonight is this:
“Row you Bastards, Row…”
End of Transmission
Damn it's cold here today. It's been blustery all day. Brett and I met up with the gang from Yuks and wandered about like typical tourists. It was fun. I managed to find Erin a neat little gift that I think she'll really like. It was a good day.
I have a spot tonight at the super club. I feel good. The show on Tuesday was a bit wobbly, (mostly because of nerves… but it still went well enough…) and I plan to redeem myself a little. Time to exude the confidence that I have always prided myself for.
Last night was kinda strange… The Underground was full of Toronto friends and Calgary friends. None of them knew each other, the only commonality was that we are all involved in this retarded show business thingy. I finally met Stacey, the person responsible for booking out here. I told her I was a rock star. I'm not sure she believed me, but all the Calgary people backed me to the hilt. (God bless Denise and Chris…) It's nice to know that I have a few good cut men (persons…) in my corner before the bell rings for the next round. My ego has gotten a good boost, but the damage to my id may be irreversible. I think I now actually believe I'm a rock star. Danger Will Robinson… DANGER… Hopefully I will recover from this nonsense soon…
The highlight of my night was making Joanna Downey (the mother of Stand up comedy in Canada…) laugh so hard she shot red wine out her nose. That was hilarious. She looked like her head might explode. At first, I wasn't sure she would survive this trauma, but the patient managed to make a full recovery.
Tomorrow night we are going to bring the whole rock star thing to the stage. Poor Mississauga, they won't know what hit them. This is going to be fun. I can hear the calliope warming up in the background, and the smell of popcorn is wafting around me. Now If only I could find an elephant, and preferably a pink one.
I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt I was a Viking commanding a long boat as we sailed through the mist. While I've always liked the whole “horns on the helmet” as a fashion statement, the logic behind the whole thing was completely lost to me. What in my subconscious decided to spin that yarn? Perhaps there will be another era for the Viking. Maybe it was a premonition of things to come. Come to think of it, I have a strange yearning for clothes made from sheepskins. Possibly it just means I'm about to get press ganged into something, and most likely it will be foolhardy. I heard there was an opening for a job as first mate on a fine vessel called the S.S. Minnow… I wonder if they offer benefits?
It seems that while I was content in drawing the fool card from the deck in deciding to come here, I've managed to convert it to a full house. There's nothing quite like pure dumb luck and force of will to propel you forward.
All I have left to say tonight is this:
“Row you Bastards, Row…”
End of Transmission
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Danger
DSC02495
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I just love that you have to tell people things that should be common sense.
Underground
DSC02491
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Notice how closed off people are. This is Toronto. People keep their heads down, Nowhere is this more obvious than on the subway.
Doorway
DSC02494
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I was blocking the doorway to take this picture. I am an anarchist.
A new path
DSC02502
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Everywhere I go, I'm reminded about paths. This one hit me like a bullet train. I had been thinking about my path in life when I saw this sign.
The subway
DSC02500
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I've decided to do a mini collage of Toronto's subway system. In a lot of ways it is the path to the city's soul.
King and Bathurst
bTH
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I just like the way the sky looked. Too bad my camera isn't a little better... It was a really cool purple.
02/22/05
I started my night by heading over to Yuk Yuks. The show was pretty good. Both Peter and Brett had good shows. They were part of a showcase for a promoter. I ran into Terry Clement, who is a comic that I like as both a performer and a person. That seems rare to me these days. His set was great. He's truly the oddest guy on the circuit. He's a rock star, and sideshow all rolled into one.
After the show we headed off to the Underground for a couple of beers. I think it was the best time I've had with my friends since I've been here. We just sat there drinking 50 and requesting songs. It was a brilliant moment. Hunger set in, and we decided to hit China Town for some quality eats. Few things beat beef and broccoli in black bean sauce at 2am.
The last few days have opened my eyes. I really feel like a new man. Knowing the things I have approached in my act have national reach validates the less traveled path I have chosen to stumble all over. It is pleasantly refreshing to know that. Now my batteries are recharged, and I will not waiver from my convictions. I now have a new sense of determination, and a revised timetable. I have found a new sense of urgency. I'm sensing the start of a revolution in how I present myself. As Dylan said, “The times, they are a changing…”
I've met a lot of people here, and I have learned more than I expected to. It's funny, the preconceived notions I had about the Toronto scene, were wildly inaccurate. I foolishly let the experiences of others be a gospel that should never have been.
I have seen more stand up than I thought I could bear this week.
I'm excited to go home. I miss Erin. It's been odd without her. I'm lonesome for her. She has been an excellent co pilot in my life since we found each other. I can't wait to show her just how really enlightening this trip was. I hope I don't drive her crazy in the process.
Other stuff…
My birthday is coming up soon, It has been a great year, probably the best I have had to date. There are so many good reasons to celebrate it. My life is good. I used to wonder if it would ever come together, and then in what seemed like a flash, it did. I wonder what 34 has in store for me.
End of Transmission
After the show we headed off to the Underground for a couple of beers. I think it was the best time I've had with my friends since I've been here. We just sat there drinking 50 and requesting songs. It was a brilliant moment. Hunger set in, and we decided to hit China Town for some quality eats. Few things beat beef and broccoli in black bean sauce at 2am.
The last few days have opened my eyes. I really feel like a new man. Knowing the things I have approached in my act have national reach validates the less traveled path I have chosen to stumble all over. It is pleasantly refreshing to know that. Now my batteries are recharged, and I will not waiver from my convictions. I now have a new sense of determination, and a revised timetable. I have found a new sense of urgency. I'm sensing the start of a revolution in how I present myself. As Dylan said, “The times, they are a changing…”
I've met a lot of people here, and I have learned more than I expected to. It's funny, the preconceived notions I had about the Toronto scene, were wildly inaccurate. I foolishly let the experiences of others be a gospel that should never have been.
I have seen more stand up than I thought I could bear this week.
I'm excited to go home. I miss Erin. It's been odd without her. I'm lonesome for her. She has been an excellent co pilot in my life since we found each other. I can't wait to show her just how really enlightening this trip was. I hope I don't drive her crazy in the process.
Other stuff…
My birthday is coming up soon, It has been a great year, probably the best I have had to date. There are so many good reasons to celebrate it. My life is good. I used to wonder if it would ever come together, and then in what seemed like a flash, it did. I wonder what 34 has in store for me.
End of Transmission
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
02/23/05 Attack of the Fembots.... or "Why do you all look the same?"
I'm sitting here in a café in the fashion district of Toronto, a different man than I was yesterday. The goals I set for myself at the beginning of this trip are starting to come to fruition. I managed to have a reasonable show, and a really good conversation with Marc Breslin.
After the show last night I felt different. The road ahead of me will be just as treacherous as the one behind me, but I feel stronger than I have in what seems like a million years. I somehow feel like I now have the tools to make this all happen the way I want.
In a weird turn of events, as I started my celebration, I began to feel like “now what?”
The realization came to me. It was something I had always known, but it needed to be reinforced. Life is indeed what you make it.
Other stuff…
I went to The Underground Garage with Brett last night. It was a curious evening. An army of fembots surrounded me. It was odd… there was a legion of totally fabricated women, all dressed alike, all with fake tans, and bad highlights. There were all completely smashed out of their collective gourd, and had set their phasers to slut. It was like watching something out of a bad John Hughs movie. There was no sense of independent thought, or individual creativity, they exist only as a hive mentality.
“Um… like we are the Borg…”
I thought it was kinda sad. I have always made an effort to distinguish myself from the pack, and I think it's criminal when people don't. I think it's a sign of selling one's self short. Why be a follower when you can be a trailblazer?
So the message is this…
“Be yourself… it will do you good… besides being like everyone else is boring.”
After the show last night I felt different. The road ahead of me will be just as treacherous as the one behind me, but I feel stronger than I have in what seems like a million years. I somehow feel like I now have the tools to make this all happen the way I want.
In a weird turn of events, as I started my celebration, I began to feel like “now what?”
The realization came to me. It was something I had always known, but it needed to be reinforced. Life is indeed what you make it.
Other stuff…
I went to The Underground Garage with Brett last night. It was a curious evening. An army of fembots surrounded me. It was odd… there was a legion of totally fabricated women, all dressed alike, all with fake tans, and bad highlights. There were all completely smashed out of their collective gourd, and had set their phasers to slut. It was like watching something out of a bad John Hughs movie. There was no sense of independent thought, or individual creativity, they exist only as a hive mentality.
“Um… like we are the Borg…”
I thought it was kinda sad. I have always made an effort to distinguish myself from the pack, and I think it's criminal when people don't. I think it's a sign of selling one's self short. Why be a follower when you can be a trailblazer?
So the message is this…
“Be yourself… it will do you good… besides being like everyone else is boring.”
Queen st.
queenstriv
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I like this street a lot. It reminds me of kensington in Calgary. Lots of shops and pubs and neat little cafes.
There is a great breakfast place on Queen st. called Shanghi Cowgirl. The food is fantastic.
king street west
kingstreetwest
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This is a picture of the neighbourhood where I'm staying. I like it. the whole area has a good feeling. It's busy without feeling like a zoo.
beaubier2
beaubier2
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This was taken before the show at the Rivoli. I kinda like how grainy and fuzzy it is.
streetcar named misery
streetcar
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
The street car is fun... It's also full of people who have lost any sense of humanity. Really it's more of a device to move robots from one section of Toronto to another.
I saw an old woman get shoved around on the street car... the driver was aware of it, and did nothing...
Toronto... where evil grows!!!
That would be a great new civic slogan...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
fightthepower
fightthepower
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Another one of my favorite malcontents. Peter is another of the Calgarian comics to make the exodus to Toronto.
Brett Martin
trashcanjesus2
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This is my friend Brett. We started in stand up together. He lives in Toronto now. He hates his job, but then again that's nothing new. I believe to date he has had 33 of them. He's 26...
Marcus@riv
Marcus@riv
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Take after the show. I love this place. It's the best indy show in the country...
02/22/05 Brunch of Chimpanzees
Toronto is a great city. It is a city of endless possibilities. Every street corner leads to another community, another little world, and best of all some of the greatest food I have ever eaten. Yesterday I had a New York Burrito. There was nothing even remotely Mexican about it. Oddly, it's more like a Middle Eastern shawarma. It was hot and spicy, and I loved every bit of it and the Roti here is to die for.
My poor liver hasn't had this much of a workout in quite some time. Peter and Brett dragged (with very little resistance…) me to The Underground Garage, which is the coolest little bar in all of Toronto. It's a seedy little dive, with the best music and atmosphere, and you can smoke there to. Best of all, its bartenders are kings of the heavy pour. I haven't seen a one-ounce pour since I've been here.
Truthfully, in some ways I feel at home here. There is a cosmopolitan feeling here that Calgary lacks. Toronto has an impressive footprint. It's mammoth size, and dysfunctional sense of design, give it a charm. Underneath the soot and grime, one can gleam a thirst for substance. People here go to art galleries, and museums. This city is one of last vestiges left in the country, a place where someone can eek out a living as an artist.
Not that everything's coming up roses around here. People are colder here.
(That's where Calgary shines in comparison…) Everyone keeps their heads down, and there's a distinct glaze in their eyes. There is a seething undercurrent, as if there is some torment that both polarizes Torontonians, and acts like a magnet, sucking people into a whirlpool.
I miss the warmth of my wife's smile. I wish she was here. Being here has just further cemented my belief that I'm a lucky man to have her.
So far, the shows have been great. Last night I played the Rivoli. I had a great time. I rocked the room. I was there in the moment. I had total control. For a brief moment I was a superstar. It did my ego some good. I'm not sure what it did for my id though…
Sunday, I did a show at Einstein's. That one went great too. I followed a horrible hack, prop act. I hate that shit. The stock jokes tumbled from his fool mouth like a parade of shit. He ate 3 bananas, and juggled swords. It was a total fucking travesty. Happily though, it just made my job that much easier.
Tonight I'm going to showcase for Mark Breslin at The Super club. I'm excited, and a little nervous.
More to come
My poor liver hasn't had this much of a workout in quite some time. Peter and Brett dragged (with very little resistance…) me to The Underground Garage, which is the coolest little bar in all of Toronto. It's a seedy little dive, with the best music and atmosphere, and you can smoke there to. Best of all, its bartenders are kings of the heavy pour. I haven't seen a one-ounce pour since I've been here.
Truthfully, in some ways I feel at home here. There is a cosmopolitan feeling here that Calgary lacks. Toronto has an impressive footprint. It's mammoth size, and dysfunctional sense of design, give it a charm. Underneath the soot and grime, one can gleam a thirst for substance. People here go to art galleries, and museums. This city is one of last vestiges left in the country, a place where someone can eek out a living as an artist.
Not that everything's coming up roses around here. People are colder here.
(That's where Calgary shines in comparison…) Everyone keeps their heads down, and there's a distinct glaze in their eyes. There is a seething undercurrent, as if there is some torment that both polarizes Torontonians, and acts like a magnet, sucking people into a whirlpool.
I miss the warmth of my wife's smile. I wish she was here. Being here has just further cemented my belief that I'm a lucky man to have her.
So far, the shows have been great. Last night I played the Rivoli. I had a great time. I rocked the room. I was there in the moment. I had total control. For a brief moment I was a superstar. It did my ego some good. I'm not sure what it did for my id though…
Sunday, I did a show at Einstein's. That one went great too. I followed a horrible hack, prop act. I hate that shit. The stock jokes tumbled from his fool mouth like a parade of shit. He ate 3 bananas, and juggled swords. It was a total fucking travesty. Happily though, it just made my job that much easier.
Tonight I'm going to showcase for Mark Breslin at The Super club. I'm excited, and a little nervous.
More to come
Saturday, February 12, 2005
02/12/05 The Unsinkable Marcus Beaubier
I've gotten to a point where I'm beginning to understand what I really want to accomplish with this blog. To date, it has been a useful tool, a simple device that permits me to blow off steam about things that really get my blood boiling.
I've ranted and raved about everything I could think of, screaming out to the heavens, hoping that someone, anyone could hear it. I've been that desperate drunk at the end of the bar rail letting the reactionary out to play, and it has only gotten the better of me thus far. Clearly, it has been all for not. This will not stop me, but it is obvious that it's time for a change of tactics. It's time to appeal to common sense. If that won't kick the blinders off, nothing will.
I guess in some ways, As a Canadian living far away from the problems of American politics, it could be argued that I have no real business attacking it. It could also be argued that American politics has no direct effect on me and my life here in the wilds north of Montana. Of course, and I could be Mickey Mouse.
An American friend of mine reminded me the other day, that we don't want Americans to feel too comfortable around these parts. In his estimation, they will come here. (Thanks to the last election, we have already seen an increase in migration here from the U.S.) This alone, gives me the right to throw my voice into the fray. The last thing we ever want is for America to have any sense of entitlement to Canada. That would knock the wheels off our little cart. Sooner or later, they are going to run out of brown people to pick on, and in my humble estimation we are a little to close for comfort.
I had hoped that in some small way, my blog might act like a beacon to those who feel as I do. We who are now lost to the woods outside the city limits of a town called indifference need hope. As civil liberties are retracted, we become more scattered. Liberalism is being hunted down, and demonized like something out of the Salem Witch trials, and I felt for a little while as if I was a vanguard of these social values. In some small way, I believe I've been a defender of the faith.
I choose to roar, because I'm afraid others will give up, and submit to the will of conservatism. This really frightens me. Every time another conservative gets into power, a few more liberties get called into question, and big business gets another dirty handshake. When I see Bush, or Cheney speak, I immediately have to reach for the Rolaids. (These are people who hate the ACLU… because its mandate is to remind government about the existence of the constitution… Something Bush and Cheney hate…)
I watched a movie called “The American President” the other night. I liked it, it reminded me of “The West Wing”, and another movie called “Dave.” (These are not masterpieces… for the record…) I like these shows because they give people hope. At least in the land of pretend, the people in power are human beings who listen to the problems of their constituents. They implicate a dynamic that is not actually seen in real politics anymore, human decency.
I've ranted and raved about everything I could think of, screaming out to the heavens, hoping that someone, anyone could hear it. I've been that desperate drunk at the end of the bar rail letting the reactionary out to play, and it has only gotten the better of me thus far. Clearly, it has been all for not. This will not stop me, but it is obvious that it's time for a change of tactics. It's time to appeal to common sense. If that won't kick the blinders off, nothing will.
I guess in some ways, As a Canadian living far away from the problems of American politics, it could be argued that I have no real business attacking it. It could also be argued that American politics has no direct effect on me and my life here in the wilds north of Montana. Of course, and I could be Mickey Mouse.
An American friend of mine reminded me the other day, that we don't want Americans to feel too comfortable around these parts. In his estimation, they will come here. (Thanks to the last election, we have already seen an increase in migration here from the U.S.) This alone, gives me the right to throw my voice into the fray. The last thing we ever want is for America to have any sense of entitlement to Canada. That would knock the wheels off our little cart. Sooner or later, they are going to run out of brown people to pick on, and in my humble estimation we are a little to close for comfort.
I had hoped that in some small way, my blog might act like a beacon to those who feel as I do. We who are now lost to the woods outside the city limits of a town called indifference need hope. As civil liberties are retracted, we become more scattered. Liberalism is being hunted down, and demonized like something out of the Salem Witch trials, and I felt for a little while as if I was a vanguard of these social values. In some small way, I believe I've been a defender of the faith.
I choose to roar, because I'm afraid others will give up, and submit to the will of conservatism. This really frightens me. Every time another conservative gets into power, a few more liberties get called into question, and big business gets another dirty handshake. When I see Bush, or Cheney speak, I immediately have to reach for the Rolaids. (These are people who hate the ACLU… because its mandate is to remind government about the existence of the constitution… Something Bush and Cheney hate…)
I watched a movie called “The American President” the other night. I liked it, it reminded me of “The West Wing”, and another movie called “Dave.” (These are not masterpieces… for the record…) I like these shows because they give people hope. At least in the land of pretend, the people in power are human beings who listen to the problems of their constituents. They implicate a dynamic that is not actually seen in real politics anymore, human decency.
Monday, February 07, 2005
02/07/05
People who dedicate themselves to the clergy freak me out. I just don't understand that level of commitment; especially to something I have difficulty understanding. (Mind you, I feel the same way about physics professors, line dancers, and people who sell shitty electronic calendars on the street… but I digress…)
I was at a hospital earlier this evening, and I literally ran into some Mormon preachers. They both seemed so very excited; clearly they were out to reel in a few for salvation. This had an almost insidious air to it. They were chattering away in the elevator and brandishing their gleaming white teeth. It was a surreal moment. It felt like the scene in “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas” when Thompson is tripping out in the Circus Circus Casino. The more I looked at their teeth, the stranger it got. In an instant I was convinced those teeth were designed to tear into me. I wished that I could have folded myself into a paper envelope and slid under the doors. Happily before my imagination got the better of me, the doors opened and I made it safely to my floor.
Then I heard, “Have a good night…”
And I thought to myself, “Aw fuck… now they're talking to me…”
“UHHHH… You too!” was the best I could muster.
I walked down the hall, to my friend's room, now clutching the US magazine I bought to cheer her up.
I suppose the best place to recruit for one's faith is a hospital. To me it's the last chance saloon of salvation. Check in before you check out. It's a very sneaky tactic, but I kind of admire it. There's a genius in its simplicity. Lord knows, a captive audience is a good audience.
I guess I'm not a fan of a belief system that exists to self propagate. To the best of my reckoning, faith is a personal thing. Mine to embrace, and mine to endure. I have never needed others to parrot my spiritual beliefs. I think everybody needs to find his or her own.
To a certain extent, I'm a hypocrite. I want people to follow in line with my political proclivities, and to many that's just as private a belief system. (Not that it will stop me from trying. I'll rage before the dying of the light before that ever happens….)
I was at a hospital earlier this evening, and I literally ran into some Mormon preachers. They both seemed so very excited; clearly they were out to reel in a few for salvation. This had an almost insidious air to it. They were chattering away in the elevator and brandishing their gleaming white teeth. It was a surreal moment. It felt like the scene in “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas” when Thompson is tripping out in the Circus Circus Casino. The more I looked at their teeth, the stranger it got. In an instant I was convinced those teeth were designed to tear into me. I wished that I could have folded myself into a paper envelope and slid under the doors. Happily before my imagination got the better of me, the doors opened and I made it safely to my floor.
Then I heard, “Have a good night…”
And I thought to myself, “Aw fuck… now they're talking to me…”
“UHHHH… You too!” was the best I could muster.
I walked down the hall, to my friend's room, now clutching the US magazine I bought to cheer her up.
I suppose the best place to recruit for one's faith is a hospital. To me it's the last chance saloon of salvation. Check in before you check out. It's a very sneaky tactic, but I kind of admire it. There's a genius in its simplicity. Lord knows, a captive audience is a good audience.
I guess I'm not a fan of a belief system that exists to self propagate. To the best of my reckoning, faith is a personal thing. Mine to embrace, and mine to endure. I have never needed others to parrot my spiritual beliefs. I think everybody needs to find his or her own.
To a certain extent, I'm a hypocrite. I want people to follow in line with my political proclivities, and to many that's just as private a belief system. (Not that it will stop me from trying. I'll rage before the dying of the light before that ever happens….)
02/07/05
Still more stuff about me...
1) I dislike Goths... No one can ever really be that depressed. I’ve known people on Prozac and Zoloft who are more cheery. I’ve seen "The Crow" too, but it has never driven me to paint my face and get a page boy haircut.
2) I believe that David Lee Roth is actually the first human cartoon character. I’d like to see a battle royale between him and Bus Bunny. Just seeing an anvil fall on his head would be worth the price of admission.
3) I really don’t care for American Football. I find it boring. The Super Bowl is just a snooze fest for me. I just don’t get it.
4) I don’t find Jerry Seinfeld funny. I never have. Nothing anyone can say will change my mind.
5) I don’t like the colour yellow. Esp Yellow Lolly pop colouring.
6) I think the best ever movie portrayal of JFK was done by Ossie Davis in "Bubba Hotep".
7) I always wanted to punch Sam Kinison square in the head.
8) My friends make me laugh the hardest.
9) My current favorite comics are: Lewis Black, David Cross, Eddie Izzard
10) I really want to see unwanted contestants from American Idol reclaim their dignity by hiring a hitman to gun down Simon Cowel in a hail of bullets.
11) I really want Jessica Simpson and her dullard husband to get caught trying to procure a Thai boy hooker for some sort of Paul Bernardo, Karla Homulka weird sex thingy. That would rock. It would also finally end that stupid show of theirs. What a smoldering pile of dog turd. The best thing that could happen to our society is ending their reign of stupidity. They make Anna Nicole Smith seem sane and rational.
12) I think that Ron Jeremy should become America’s the ambassador to the United Nations. Since the whole thing appears to be one giant cock fight, he should fit in nicely. He’s also far more entertaining than Condi Rice.
13) I often wish I was a dictator. I bet that would be fun. I would dress like Stalin, and smoke cigars all day.
14) I used to enjoy the cafeteria at Kmart. They had the best burgers, and it was fun to watch the old folks bicker. That cafeteria was a magnet for seniors. Hundreds of years of combined wisdom, and blue light specials all rolled into one... How could anyone really resist?
15) I hate the movie "Grease" I HATE IT!
16) I have never watched a single episode of "The Sopranos"
17) I’d really like to have a beer with Dennis Franz.
18) I’d love to grow a Snidely Whiplash moustache.
1) I dislike Goths... No one can ever really be that depressed. I’ve known people on Prozac and Zoloft who are more cheery. I’ve seen "The Crow" too, but it has never driven me to paint my face and get a page boy haircut.
2) I believe that David Lee Roth is actually the first human cartoon character. I’d like to see a battle royale between him and Bus Bunny. Just seeing an anvil fall on his head would be worth the price of admission.
3) I really don’t care for American Football. I find it boring. The Super Bowl is just a snooze fest for me. I just don’t get it.
4) I don’t find Jerry Seinfeld funny. I never have. Nothing anyone can say will change my mind.
5) I don’t like the colour yellow. Esp Yellow Lolly pop colouring.
6) I think the best ever movie portrayal of JFK was done by Ossie Davis in "Bubba Hotep".
7) I always wanted to punch Sam Kinison square in the head.
8) My friends make me laugh the hardest.
9) My current favorite comics are: Lewis Black, David Cross, Eddie Izzard
10) I really want to see unwanted contestants from American Idol reclaim their dignity by hiring a hitman to gun down Simon Cowel in a hail of bullets.
11) I really want Jessica Simpson and her dullard husband to get caught trying to procure a Thai boy hooker for some sort of Paul Bernardo, Karla Homulka weird sex thingy. That would rock. It would also finally end that stupid show of theirs. What a smoldering pile of dog turd. The best thing that could happen to our society is ending their reign of stupidity. They make Anna Nicole Smith seem sane and rational.
12) I think that Ron Jeremy should become America’s the ambassador to the United Nations. Since the whole thing appears to be one giant cock fight, he should fit in nicely. He’s also far more entertaining than Condi Rice.
13) I often wish I was a dictator. I bet that would be fun. I would dress like Stalin, and smoke cigars all day.
14) I used to enjoy the cafeteria at Kmart. They had the best burgers, and it was fun to watch the old folks bicker. That cafeteria was a magnet for seniors. Hundreds of years of combined wisdom, and blue light specials all rolled into one... How could anyone really resist?
15) I hate the movie "Grease" I HATE IT!
16) I have never watched a single episode of "The Sopranos"
17) I’d really like to have a beer with Dennis Franz.
18) I’d love to grow a Snidely Whiplash moustache.
02/06/05 more stuff about me...
More things about me. again in no order, significant or otherwise.
1) I hate being told I'm wrong. I will go to great lengths to prove otherwise. (even If I'm not so sure anymore...)
2) I almost never lose.
3) I will admit when I am wrong.
4) I want to believe in aliens. I'm just not sure they want to believe in me.
5) I think Bill Gates is actually the Anti-Christ.
6) I love chocolate brownies and gingerbread.
7) I really dislike Stephen Harper. Not because of politics. but because he's creepy looking.
8) I actually really like America and Americans. I'm just not fond of republicans.
9) Bob Mould is my favorite song writer. Elivs Costello is a close second.
10) I love Dairy Queen Ice Cream.
11) Few things beat a good BBQ.
12) I'm too proud for my own good.
13) I hate being taken advantage of. I'm a firm believe in "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me..."
14) I have a strange fixation with the Roman Empire.
15) Bagels are good. Esp with cream cheese and grape jelly.
16) I love reading the newspaper, and watching television news.
17) I hate sherbert... Stupid ice cream wanna be.
18) The worst flavor of ice cream is anything with orange in it's title.
19) I think beheadings are the most vulgar thing I can think of. Everytime I see those poor bastards on the news, my throat gets tight.
20) I have a hyper active sense of imagination. It serves me well most of the time... But when it doesn't... WOW it really doesn't.
21) I support the military. i just wish our government did.
22) I think guns are stupid. I guess some people need them. I don't know anyone who does, but I suppose they exist.
23) I wish I could speak Italian.
24) I like getting letters, real ones, in the mail even.
25) Patsa is wonderful. Fettucine Tuto Gusto is my favorite.
26) I wish I was President of the United States. I'd get some shit done. (Just gimmie a few days even...)
27) If not President, Superman would be a good second. (Yes I know he isn't real... but then again, I'm not sure the President is either...)
28) The one chore I hate the most is lawn mowing. I hate it...
29) I want to live somewhere warm. Not hot, warm will do just fine, 15-20 degrees centigrate is all I really need.
30) I'm Irish, French, and German.
More to come.
1) I hate being told I'm wrong. I will go to great lengths to prove otherwise. (even If I'm not so sure anymore...)
2) I almost never lose.
3) I will admit when I am wrong.
4) I want to believe in aliens. I'm just not sure they want to believe in me.
5) I think Bill Gates is actually the Anti-Christ.
6) I love chocolate brownies and gingerbread.
7) I really dislike Stephen Harper. Not because of politics. but because he's creepy looking.
8) I actually really like America and Americans. I'm just not fond of republicans.
9) Bob Mould is my favorite song writer. Elivs Costello is a close second.
10) I love Dairy Queen Ice Cream.
11) Few things beat a good BBQ.
12) I'm too proud for my own good.
13) I hate being taken advantage of. I'm a firm believe in "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me..."
14) I have a strange fixation with the Roman Empire.
15) Bagels are good. Esp with cream cheese and grape jelly.
16) I love reading the newspaper, and watching television news.
17) I hate sherbert... Stupid ice cream wanna be.
18) The worst flavor of ice cream is anything with orange in it's title.
19) I think beheadings are the most vulgar thing I can think of. Everytime I see those poor bastards on the news, my throat gets tight.
20) I have a hyper active sense of imagination. It serves me well most of the time... But when it doesn't... WOW it really doesn't.
21) I support the military. i just wish our government did.
22) I think guns are stupid. I guess some people need them. I don't know anyone who does, but I suppose they exist.
23) I wish I could speak Italian.
24) I like getting letters, real ones, in the mail even.
25) Patsa is wonderful. Fettucine Tuto Gusto is my favorite.
26) I wish I was President of the United States. I'd get some shit done. (Just gimmie a few days even...)
27) If not President, Superman would be a good second. (Yes I know he isn't real... but then again, I'm not sure the President is either...)
28) The one chore I hate the most is lawn mowing. I hate it...
29) I want to live somewhere warm. Not hot, warm will do just fine, 15-20 degrees centigrate is all I really need.
30) I'm Irish, French, and German.
More to come.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
02/06/05 To My Dearest Detractor of All Things CBC...
A friend of mine and I have been having a difference of opinion about how truthful the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation really is.
She contends that they would never air stories that portray the powers that be in a poor light. My belief is that they generally (with some exceptions…) tend to be fair and balanced.
I decided to conduct a straw poll amongst a wide swath of people. I spoke to people with very, very different political stripes, hoping to see if I was really misguided in my belief. Amongst the group of them, there was a liberal organizer, a conservative pollster, an ex patriot American, a communist, a Brit, a member of the green party, and a person who voted for the Alberta separatist party.
To adhere with privacy legislation, and for the sake of maintaining friendships I have omitted names.
My thinking in speaking to these people was this: To get a better understanding of the CBC. What do these people really think? These are people that I trust, and having known them for years, I know they will tell me the truth. I insisted that they didn't hold back.
Without exception I got the same answers. Every single one of them said the same thing. In terms of news, the CBC does seem to report things in a credible, honest way.
They majority of them also agreed that the CBC is arrogant. (Of this I have no doubt…) the belief is that they tend to cater to an elitist crowd. (I totally believe this to be true…) They don't reflect the day-to-day tastes of the average Canadian. (Again… no argument here…)
However, to back up my belief that the CBC is not afraid of the government, and is willing to get to the heart of the matter, I submit the following little nuggets I have tripped over while scouring the net.
1) They are no friend to the liberal government, and if you really look back at their treatment of Chrétien it was rarely if ever flattering...
2) They hounded him over the sponsorship scandal, which (and this is important to note…) they broke to the public... and have been active in approaching key witnesses to get at the story with more depth.
3) They were constantly critical over the PMO during most of his tenure. In fact relations between CBC news and his office were so frosty, that it has been cited by some media consultants as one the actual reasons for CBC losing 36 percent of it's operating budget during his years as prime minister. Chrétien actually tried to legislate new controls over the CBC, and was forced to back down.
4) They chided him over his treatment of the "pepper spray incident" which was another story they broke.
5) They broke the story of his not attending the funeral of the King of Syria, and demanded to know why he went skiing instead. They were very direct in reporting this breach of protocol.
6) They broke the helicopter scandal.
7) They broke the Sgro scandal, and have maintained consistent pressure on her office. (Again not proving to be too liberal friendly...)
8) They were the first media outlet in Canada to point out that Martin had dropped the ball in the first few days of the Sponsorship scandal, and appeared to be in “over his head…”
9) They were the first media outlet in Canada to call into question any “conflict of interest” issues in Martin handing off his shipping company to his sons, while he was in office.
I agree that the CBC may have it's own agenda, but being the government's parrot is not one of them.
In fact, if you compare the CBC to Fox News, CBC looks like the bastion of balance. They have spent time with both conservatives and liberals alike. Legally, as part of their mandate, they are obliged to. They are also obliged to give them equal time. This doesn't mean they have to put up with someone as vicious as Bill O'Reilly, or Ann Coulter. (And who would really want to anyway?) No one should be allowed to fire their bigoted volleys at whom ever they choose on national television. (Although to the CBC's credit, they did offer O'Reilly a chance to defend his positions and he declined.)
I remember watching a political debate on CBC. They were very careful to not express any political affiliation. In fact, they were very good at getting the opinions of pundits representing every party. (Including the Greens and other fringe parties.)
Some people out west may argue that Stockwell Day got a bit of a public fucking at the hands of the CBC, but one could also argue that Stockwell did pretty good at doing it to himself. If you insist on making a buffoon out of yourself in front of cameras then, that's pretty much your own fault.
More than anything, I think the CBC has an image problem. It may be time to clean it up a little, and offer Canadians something a little more Canadian.
She contends that they would never air stories that portray the powers that be in a poor light. My belief is that they generally (with some exceptions…) tend to be fair and balanced.
I decided to conduct a straw poll amongst a wide swath of people. I spoke to people with very, very different political stripes, hoping to see if I was really misguided in my belief. Amongst the group of them, there was a liberal organizer, a conservative pollster, an ex patriot American, a communist, a Brit, a member of the green party, and a person who voted for the Alberta separatist party.
To adhere with privacy legislation, and for the sake of maintaining friendships I have omitted names.
My thinking in speaking to these people was this: To get a better understanding of the CBC. What do these people really think? These are people that I trust, and having known them for years, I know they will tell me the truth. I insisted that they didn't hold back.
Without exception I got the same answers. Every single one of them said the same thing. In terms of news, the CBC does seem to report things in a credible, honest way.
They majority of them also agreed that the CBC is arrogant. (Of this I have no doubt…) the belief is that they tend to cater to an elitist crowd. (I totally believe this to be true…) They don't reflect the day-to-day tastes of the average Canadian. (Again… no argument here…)
However, to back up my belief that the CBC is not afraid of the government, and is willing to get to the heart of the matter, I submit the following little nuggets I have tripped over while scouring the net.
1) They are no friend to the liberal government, and if you really look back at their treatment of Chrétien it was rarely if ever flattering...
2) They hounded him over the sponsorship scandal, which (and this is important to note…) they broke to the public... and have been active in approaching key witnesses to get at the story with more depth.
3) They were constantly critical over the PMO during most of his tenure. In fact relations between CBC news and his office were so frosty, that it has been cited by some media consultants as one the actual reasons for CBC losing 36 percent of it's operating budget during his years as prime minister. Chrétien actually tried to legislate new controls over the CBC, and was forced to back down.
4) They chided him over his treatment of the "pepper spray incident" which was another story they broke.
5) They broke the story of his not attending the funeral of the King of Syria, and demanded to know why he went skiing instead. They were very direct in reporting this breach of protocol.
6) They broke the helicopter scandal.
7) They broke the Sgro scandal, and have maintained consistent pressure on her office. (Again not proving to be too liberal friendly...)
8) They were the first media outlet in Canada to point out that Martin had dropped the ball in the first few days of the Sponsorship scandal, and appeared to be in “over his head…”
9) They were the first media outlet in Canada to call into question any “conflict of interest” issues in Martin handing off his shipping company to his sons, while he was in office.
I agree that the CBC may have it's own agenda, but being the government's parrot is not one of them.
In fact, if you compare the CBC to Fox News, CBC looks like the bastion of balance. They have spent time with both conservatives and liberals alike. Legally, as part of their mandate, they are obliged to. They are also obliged to give them equal time. This doesn't mean they have to put up with someone as vicious as Bill O'Reilly, or Ann Coulter. (And who would really want to anyway?) No one should be allowed to fire their bigoted volleys at whom ever they choose on national television. (Although to the CBC's credit, they did offer O'Reilly a chance to defend his positions and he declined.)
I remember watching a political debate on CBC. They were very careful to not express any political affiliation. In fact, they were very good at getting the opinions of pundits representing every party. (Including the Greens and other fringe parties.)
Some people out west may argue that Stockwell Day got a bit of a public fucking at the hands of the CBC, but one could also argue that Stockwell did pretty good at doing it to himself. If you insist on making a buffoon out of yourself in front of cameras then, that's pretty much your own fault.
More than anything, I think the CBC has an image problem. It may be time to clean it up a little, and offer Canadians something a little more Canadian.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
beaubier
beaubier
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This is a picture of the outside of a hotel in Brandon Manitoba. It's the Beaubier hotel. It was named by someone distantly related to me.
It's a flea bag. Bad people go there. I went there once. the bartender suggested for my own personal safety it was best if I left...
Judging from the patrons inside, he was absolutely right.
It's kinda cool in a strange way...
Bill O'Reilly's
Bill O'Reilly's
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
A picture really is worth a thousand words...
02/02/05 Set Your Phasers to Stupid...
I love a good scrap. There's nothing like a little piss and vinegar to get the day rolling. A good one came to my attention earlier today. Apparently The CBC made an unflattering documentary about FOX NEWS. Now, it seems it's bad form to point out that a media organization's claim of “Fair and balanced” reporting is a crock of shit. (Despite the fact, that it's not exactly news itself…)
But I digress… Bill O'Reilly from fox, got uppity about the whole thing, and started shooting his fool mouth off. So I decided to recount the bits I was able to put together. I also added my usual retorts. (Like I could really help myself?)
Quote #1
"Vicious attack on Fox News by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, totally out of any kind of bounds," said O'Reilly in his response Friday night to the Fifth Estate broadcast on Jan. 26.
This kind of whiney nonsense coming from Bill O'Reilly? This man is the reigning king of the ugliest hatchet jobs in modern television journalism. This is typical of the kind of double standard American conservatives are about. “You dirty liberals are fair game… But don't you dare come down on me.”
You have got to be kidding me. This is the pot calling the kettle black for sure. This man is regularly foul of the field (just ask his last intern… He fired her for blowing the whistle on his inappropriate telephone manner…) As for the Vicious attack… If you can't take the heat… get out of the kitchen motherfucker.
I'm proud that the CBC skewered this bozo, and called him on his shit. Someone's got to. Lord knows the mainstream media in his own country doesn't.
Not to mention this man is shoved so far up Rush Limbaugh's ass; he can see Karl Rove's feet.
Quote #2
"The Canadian government gives them a billion dollars to put this sort of stuff on the air, and the Canadian government is really at fault here, isn't it?" O'Reilly said to one guest.
The Canadian Government's fault? Look… I'm willing to admit, most of the misty eyed shit on CBC sucks…(and may actually be the Canadian Government's fault…) Especially “Wind at my Back”, and anything to do with that fucking “Anne of Green Gables”… But in terms of news, and documentaries, they provide a rare service in this day and age. The Truth.
O'Reilly would prefer we censor, and shield people from the truth, something the fine people at Fox News have mastered. That's fair and balanced. That is to say… balanced in a Nazi Germany kind of way.
The one, and I would think most obvious thing missing here is this, What impact does this really have on Bill O'Reilly's professional life? The answer… Sweet Fuck All. Canada is a very different country than the good ole USA, and the opinions of our media outlets really shouldn't mean a damn thing. The fact that it does, gives it a certain amount of entertainment value. Truthfully, his reaction has pretty much made him the CBC's bitch. “JUMP FOR ME LITTLE PUPPET MAN.”
"You scare the hell out of them, Bill," One guest remarked on his show.
Yes this is true. It's not the content of his show, or the candor of his comments that scare us. It's mostly because he's a fucking idiot, and because there are a lot more fucking idiots who believe the erroneous shit that falls out of his yap is gospel.
Quote #3
In the past, O'Reilly has called the CBC radically to the left, the Globe and Mail a "far-left newspaper," and Canadian health care "socialist."
1) The CBC is the nation's broadcaster. It reflects opinions from people all over Canada, 10 provinces and 3 territories worth. Besides anyone who lets Don Cherry on the air week after week can't be all that left leaning.
2) The Globe and Mail “Far-left newspaper” Clearly this fuckwit has never actually read the Globe. It's pretty damningly conservative most of the time.
3) Canadian Health Care is socialist. That's the point. It's for the benefit of our society. That way people don't die because they can't afford to pay for care. Social pragmatism… It's not something to be hissed at. Only a heartless bastard would condemn something designed to help a fellow human. But I guess that speaks volumes.
He and his conservative colleagues say they're doing journalism that is fair and balanced. Right, and I'm Yul Brenner.
But I digress… Bill O'Reilly from fox, got uppity about the whole thing, and started shooting his fool mouth off. So I decided to recount the bits I was able to put together. I also added my usual retorts. (Like I could really help myself?)
Quote #1
"Vicious attack on Fox News by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, totally out of any kind of bounds," said O'Reilly in his response Friday night to the Fifth Estate broadcast on Jan. 26.
This kind of whiney nonsense coming from Bill O'Reilly? This man is the reigning king of the ugliest hatchet jobs in modern television journalism. This is typical of the kind of double standard American conservatives are about. “You dirty liberals are fair game… But don't you dare come down on me.”
You have got to be kidding me. This is the pot calling the kettle black for sure. This man is regularly foul of the field (just ask his last intern… He fired her for blowing the whistle on his inappropriate telephone manner…) As for the Vicious attack… If you can't take the heat… get out of the kitchen motherfucker.
I'm proud that the CBC skewered this bozo, and called him on his shit. Someone's got to. Lord knows the mainstream media in his own country doesn't.
Not to mention this man is shoved so far up Rush Limbaugh's ass; he can see Karl Rove's feet.
Quote #2
"The Canadian government gives them a billion dollars to put this sort of stuff on the air, and the Canadian government is really at fault here, isn't it?" O'Reilly said to one guest.
The Canadian Government's fault? Look… I'm willing to admit, most of the misty eyed shit on CBC sucks…(and may actually be the Canadian Government's fault…) Especially “Wind at my Back”, and anything to do with that fucking “Anne of Green Gables”… But in terms of news, and documentaries, they provide a rare service in this day and age. The Truth.
O'Reilly would prefer we censor, and shield people from the truth, something the fine people at Fox News have mastered. That's fair and balanced. That is to say… balanced in a Nazi Germany kind of way.
The one, and I would think most obvious thing missing here is this, What impact does this really have on Bill O'Reilly's professional life? The answer… Sweet Fuck All. Canada is a very different country than the good ole USA, and the opinions of our media outlets really shouldn't mean a damn thing. The fact that it does, gives it a certain amount of entertainment value. Truthfully, his reaction has pretty much made him the CBC's bitch. “JUMP FOR ME LITTLE PUPPET MAN.”
"You scare the hell out of them, Bill," One guest remarked on his show.
Yes this is true. It's not the content of his show, or the candor of his comments that scare us. It's mostly because he's a fucking idiot, and because there are a lot more fucking idiots who believe the erroneous shit that falls out of his yap is gospel.
Quote #3
In the past, O'Reilly has called the CBC radically to the left, the Globe and Mail a "far-left newspaper," and Canadian health care "socialist."
1) The CBC is the nation's broadcaster. It reflects opinions from people all over Canada, 10 provinces and 3 territories worth. Besides anyone who lets Don Cherry on the air week after week can't be all that left leaning.
2) The Globe and Mail “Far-left newspaper” Clearly this fuckwit has never actually read the Globe. It's pretty damningly conservative most of the time.
3) Canadian Health Care is socialist. That's the point. It's for the benefit of our society. That way people don't die because they can't afford to pay for care. Social pragmatism… It's not something to be hissed at. Only a heartless bastard would condemn something designed to help a fellow human. But I guess that speaks volumes.
He and his conservative colleagues say they're doing journalism that is fair and balanced. Right, and I'm Yul Brenner.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
02/01/05 Kid Rock
I have finally made my way out of the woods. I can finally see the world as it was meant to be seen, pain free. The tooth has settled down, and the egg sized swollen gland now more resembles a peach slice. The meeting of evil despots in my tooth appears to have concluded… Although you never can trust that Hitler, he's a pesky fucker.
Damn it all… I hate being sick. It's got to be one of the most insidious things there are. (Apart from 4 more years of little Bushie… but if I can get through this, I can get through anything.) I think it's because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You just have to persevere. Sadly, I'm not a patient man.
I'm watching Kid Rock on television. I'm amazed that this cracker had built a career on being… well quite frankly, a cracker. He's not nearly as entertaining now, at least not like the good old days, when he had a midget. Let's face it Kid, or Mr. Rock, or whatever your name is, the midget was the real brains behind this barnyard brouhaha. I'm amazed at the staying power of his career. I would have expected he'd be on some reality show with a bunch of other b rated, burned out stars by now, or perhaps, (and as near as I can tell, more likely…) draining the grease vats at the nearest Denny's. (Even Pamela Anderson kicked his sorry ass to the curb, which I find a little surprising, cause she's better at sniffing out tawdry relations with rock stars, than a truffle hog hunting fungi.)
The man has all the cultural importance of a Ketchup sandwich. His existance has done nothing more than lend credence to every shitty hair bad that has ever hit the shelves of the HMV. Happily, there will come a day when he is just a foot note in music history. American Bad Ass... Not really. Just another schmuck who wound up in the meat grinder known as pop music. History is repleat with them. He is no different. It will be fun to watch him and say... Vince Neil sit and get fat, and talk about how they had it all. At least Vince can offer him some advice.
I'm curious to know how he actually got signed. How did that recording industry nightmare take place? I suspect that the 7th seal of music hell was opened, and sadly with a whimper, this is the twit that popped out.
Record exec: So Kid… Can I call you kid? How would you describe your music?
Kid Rock: Hilly Billy Hip Hop, with a little country throw in for good measure… and some Blues... a little metal.
Record exec: Well that's quite eclectic. I can already see endless possibilities… The black stuff just doesn't fly so well in the south… with the white folk I mean…
Kid Rock: What does eclectic mean? Did I mention I got me a midget? He's real cool… I love having a little person. He's got little sausage fingers… and he's all pimped out n' shit…
Record exec: I smell an American Music Award…
Kid Rock: I got this song… It's about getting all messed up on cough syrup, and going to the titty bar… Oh man, I'm keeping it real…
Record exec: That's tight…
Kid Rock: I got this other one… It's about getting all messed up on Gravol and Jack Daniels, and experimenting with the love we dare not speak…
Record exec: Homosexuality?
Kid Rock: Shit no Mutha fucka… I'm talking about sex with cousins… I ain't no homo sapien… bitch…
Record exec: Sign here please…
Damn it all… I hate being sick. It's got to be one of the most insidious things there are. (Apart from 4 more years of little Bushie… but if I can get through this, I can get through anything.) I think it's because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You just have to persevere. Sadly, I'm not a patient man.
I'm watching Kid Rock on television. I'm amazed that this cracker had built a career on being… well quite frankly, a cracker. He's not nearly as entertaining now, at least not like the good old days, when he had a midget. Let's face it Kid, or Mr. Rock, or whatever your name is, the midget was the real brains behind this barnyard brouhaha. I'm amazed at the staying power of his career. I would have expected he'd be on some reality show with a bunch of other b rated, burned out stars by now, or perhaps, (and as near as I can tell, more likely…) draining the grease vats at the nearest Denny's. (Even Pamela Anderson kicked his sorry ass to the curb, which I find a little surprising, cause she's better at sniffing out tawdry relations with rock stars, than a truffle hog hunting fungi.)
The man has all the cultural importance of a Ketchup sandwich. His existance has done nothing more than lend credence to every shitty hair bad that has ever hit the shelves of the HMV. Happily, there will come a day when he is just a foot note in music history. American Bad Ass... Not really. Just another schmuck who wound up in the meat grinder known as pop music. History is repleat with them. He is no different. It will be fun to watch him and say... Vince Neil sit and get fat, and talk about how they had it all. At least Vince can offer him some advice.
I'm curious to know how he actually got signed. How did that recording industry nightmare take place? I suspect that the 7th seal of music hell was opened, and sadly with a whimper, this is the twit that popped out.
Record exec: So Kid… Can I call you kid? How would you describe your music?
Kid Rock: Hilly Billy Hip Hop, with a little country throw in for good measure… and some Blues... a little metal.
Record exec: Well that's quite eclectic. I can already see endless possibilities… The black stuff just doesn't fly so well in the south… with the white folk I mean…
Kid Rock: What does eclectic mean? Did I mention I got me a midget? He's real cool… I love having a little person. He's got little sausage fingers… and he's all pimped out n' shit…
Record exec: I smell an American Music Award…
Kid Rock: I got this song… It's about getting all messed up on cough syrup, and going to the titty bar… Oh man, I'm keeping it real…
Record exec: That's tight…
Kid Rock: I got this other one… It's about getting all messed up on Gravol and Jack Daniels, and experimenting with the love we dare not speak…
Record exec: Homosexuality?
Kid Rock: Shit no Mutha fucka… I'm talking about sex with cousins… I ain't no homo sapien… bitch…
Record exec: Sign here please…
Kid Rock
_39809931_kidrock_getty300
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Nice Old Glory mu mu... This guy is an empty bucket of chicken away from living in a single wide. It's really sad when people like him are allowed to leave the trailer park.
I'm not bitter about his success... just mystified by it.
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