Friday, October 20, 2006

Things I Hate...

Here are some things that I hate. (It’s a long list, and in no particular order.)

1) I hate the maudlin poetry written by scorned 20 somethings. It’s never clever or interesting. 99 times out of a hundred, it’s about how Mr. Right became Mr. Wrong. (Not to mention the overbearing and mellow dramatic injection of “I am stronger than you…” or “I’m better off without you…” or “I will survive…”) Now I realize people need to excise their sadness and anger, (and in some cases really wallow in it…) but for Christ sake try using something less derivative. Barbed wire and roses have been done to death, and for the record so has “Boys just don’t understand me.” Truthfully though, I tend to hate poetry anyway. I do however love a good story. (I will listen to a good rant till the cows come home.)

2) The statement “I’m not racist but…” which is always followed by something overtly racist. (“I like Asians, but man are they shitty drivers…”) Let’s get something straight; everyone on the planet has some sort of racist or bigoted tendencies, but that doesn’t mean we should revel in them, or delude ourselves into believing that we’re not. (Anyone who says they aren’t is lying to himself or herself…) I also hate organized and active racists. If you run some old “boys” club like the Klan or the Aryan Nations (the irony here being that I hate haters…), then you can pretty much just fuck off. The best thing we can do is to address where these tendencies come from inside ourselves and do our best to eliminate them. If you need to wallow in ignorance, then perhaps you should consider a career in wordsmith-orientated field of poetry. (I’d hate you less for it…)

3) I hate it when retail outlets ask for my phone number. I like to grill them about it, and remind them of PIPEDA. Hopefully it makes them feel like shit for asking. (Although I guess that it just makes me look like a dick.)

4) I hate wrestling. I have always hated wrestling. Not to put to fine a point on it, but I will always hate wrestling. I see nothing redeeming in it. To me it’s nothing more than an Alpha male soap opera. I would rather have teeth pulled, or be attacked by a rabid porcupine than watch wrestling.

5) I think Alternative rock has turned to shit. Too much “Theory of a Nickeback” and too little Foo Fighters. I would love to see Chad Kroeger get eaten by fire ants. (I bet his screams would sound an awful lot like the last five other Nickleback singles.)

6) I hate people who talk during movies. (At the theater…)

7) Neo Conservative politicians scare the shit out of me. They go against every fibre of my being. We live in times that call for innovative thinkers and new approaches, not closed minded, regressive, and greed minded brigands that fail to understand the world has changed. I choose to include the following pundits and “news people” like Bill O'Reilly, (Culture Warrior… What a douchebag!!!) Ann Coulter (The bigger, dumber, sleazier douchebag!) and Sean Hannity (Who goes well beyond douchebag... He’s a super mega intergalactic douchebag.) Why these people feel no shame about the muck the rake is beyond me. It’s like watching a baby shit itself, and then smile at you like it just won the lotto.

8) Then again, guilty whiney Liberals are just as bad. The failure to act without the motivation of guilt is just as deplorable. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge lefty (bordering on Pinko most of the time…) but I hate it when people only react, rather than be proactive because it’s the right thing to do.


9) Any movie made by the Wayans brothers. I think they are criminally bad. The world would have been a much better place without “White Chicks.” I would rather spend weeks on end making greeting cards with the mentally ill, or perhaps watch a slide show of Mormon Square dancers ripping it up in a temple in Salt Lake City than ever watch a Wayans brother flick. (This may sound glib, but it’s the fucking gospel truth.)

10) I hate the fact that myspace’s blog editor doesn’t work properly with the Safari web browser. (It does a really piss poor job supporting Mac users.) It totally ignores punctuation. That really bakes my biscuits. Shabby, Shabby, Shabby!!!

Well that’s it for today… More to come as I think of it!

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