Saturday, October 14, 2006

Would you believe Prime Minister of Canada...

Have you ever noticed just how much Stephen Harper looks like a robot? He reminds me of Hymie from Get Smart. He’s got that mechanical glaze in his eyes. He has all the wit and charm of a mound of granite, or at least that’s what he’d like us to think. He would prefer that we Canadians think of him as a party wonk.

I suspect he wants us to think of him as a man in overalls getting down to business. But is he really? I suspect this isn’t your daddy’s Conservative Prime Minister!

The truth is who knows? Harper has dropped a cone of silence over Ottawa. He’s been less than subtle about it too. (More like a swinging a bag of hammers in China shop, and a whole lot less than say snuggling warm fuzzy kittens in a nursery full of newborn babes…)

However, this begs another question. What’s the need for the clampdown on information? Why hold the proverbial cards close to the chest? Why does “The New Canadian Government” need to control the flow? (I’m actually surprised that there isn’t a “Ministry of Information” yet…)

I can only think of two reasons why Harper would want to restrict information. The first being that it just might be easier to criticize government, than say be one. Plugging leaks just might be harder than it looks. Maybe it’s a case of the grass is greener on the other side. Power has its perks to be sure, but I bet it has some nasty traps too.

Now the second reason has a little more meat to it. Perhaps there’s some real shit going on behind the scenes. Perhaps the rot of corruption has already started to crust at the bottom. Maybe it’s harder to keep that hillbilly-laden caucus of his in check. Reining in the whack jobs has got to put a little sweat on the brow. (Insert the theme from Deliverance here.)

This lot makes departing Premier Klein look sane, sober, and well adjusted. It won’t be too long until a cabinet minister does something stupid, (like bang hookers while on a trip to the Haig, or use the government jet to slobber over some payola scandal.) cause it’s human nature.

To assume you will survive unscathed is retarded. How many Mulroney people went down in flames?

To be fair though, he’s a well-spoken man. But he’s overly focused on keeping power. It’s the damnedest thing; his obsession with proving himself will likely be his ultimate downfall. He spends a lot of time hissing out venom at the Liberals, desperately trying to prove he’s different than the last prime minister. “Speaking out for Canadians” doesn’t seem to be a real agenda for him. It’s kinda like someone forgot to tell him he already has the job. (for now…)

Truthfully he should leave the rhetoric where in belongs, in the capable hands of people like myself. Now it’s time to get down to business. Mr. Harper, you’ve got your date at the dance. (Much to my chagrin… I think he’s evil personally, but that’s another story for another time.) So get to it. Now it’s time to prove you can do the job for real.

Well until Ignatief (or Rae, or whoever…) cleans your ever lovin’ clock. Canadians have little tolerance for smugness. The little good grace you have won’t take you far. So straighten up. And for Christ’s sake, take a gander at a poll once in a while. Being on the wrong side of what Canadians want isn’t gonna get you too far.

P.S. Rona Ambrose kinda looks like agent 99, and don’t even get me started on Peter Mackay.

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