A couple of months ago, I wrote a post about the 3 way battle over how to explain man's existence. Since then, the topic has been mulling over in my head almost no stop. I've been slipping it into conversations, hoping to get some more perspective on it.
It has only gotten more confusing for me. I have decided to revisit the topic here, and deliver some of the information I've managed to conjure up.
I pride myself on having people in my life from all walks of life. I respect all creeds, colours, genders, and preferences, but I have to say lately I've heard some really fucked up shit.
To sum up, the three main camps (in North American society…) are;
1) Creationists (Tending to be Christian fundamentalists)
2) Evolutionists (Science types)
3) Intelligent designers (Usually pretty flakey…)
I'm going to start with Creationists. I watched a documentary recently where a bunch of uber fundamentalist Christian creationists took school children to a museum to stuff their heads full of truly odd stuff. Here are some actual quotes.
“The Earth is only six thousand years old.”
“Science is full of Satan's lies.”
“Satan invented the dinosaurs as a tool to confuse man.”
Now… I'm no scientist, or a preacher… but to me that just comes off as backward. I would get really nervous if I got stuck in a conversation with someone who espoused that to me.
My favorite of these quotes is the one about the dinosaurs. It makes me imagine an Office meeting in Hell.
Satan: Next on the agenda… How to confuse Humans about their existence… Any thoughts…
Minion: How about Giant Lizards?
Satan: Brilliant… Good work Johnson… Get this down to marketing right away…
On side note, there is an interesting Irony here. President Bush is a fundamentalist Christian, which makes his lust for oil confusing, given that oil is basically liquefied Dinosaur, which essentially makes it a literal bucket full of Satan's lies.
But I digress…
Creationists have some really modern thinkers propping the belief up. Here's a short list;
Jerry Falwell (leader of the 700 club… who once mused on the likelyhood that one of the Teletubbies was gay...), Jimmy Swaggart (An adulterer, who in a politically charged sermon, said that he would kill gay men...), Pat Robertson (a lunatic who claims that Episcopalians, Presbyterians and Methodists embody the spirit of the antichrist...), Tammy Faye Baker (or whatever her last name is now…) Peter Popoff (A man who tries to pawn water from Chernobyl as a miracle cure…) and Mel Gibson.
With a group like that how could you possibly go wrong?
Next on the list are Evolutionists. This is a heftier group. The belief that sciences can explain our existence is something easier for me to swallow. I like the gleam in the eye of a biologist when he / she starts talking about DNA and Amino acids. Throw in a Big Bang or two, and I have to admit, I'm hooked.
Then there is Darwin. His theories are marvelous. All the time spent thinking about adaptation really works me into frenzy. What a clever bastard he is. The notion that we changed to survive inhospitable climates is totally top drawer in my books.
But science has a few wrinkles of it's own…
The bible has a whole lot of begating going on. There is so much begating in fact that you might actually begin to believe that fundamentalists actually like sex. Science has very little of that. Here's a little formula I've devised to elaborate my thinking.
Science = Science Fiction, Science Fiction = Star Trek, Star Trek = Nerd, Nerd = No Begating. (Not quite empirical, but I would argue the foundation is there.)
Here's a list of some famous people that support Evolution:
Dr. Stephen Hawking (The guy who figured out that time isn't necessarily linear), Albert Einstein (Generally thought of a somewhat clever…), Charles Darwin (Duh…), and Jared Diamond (Professor and author of Collapse and Guns, Germs and Steel…)
Next on deck are the intelligent designers. I have to admit, I'm pretty willing to dismiss this lot for a number of reasons. The first of which is this, I think these people are just plain nuts. This group strikes me as indecisive and desperate to find something to believe in. In the post 9/11 era this group's numbers have been rising steadily. I believe it to be reactionary and empty.
It also seems like a backhanded compromise designed to foist creationism into science programs. Both religion and science have their place in our society and I will not begrudge that, but at no point do they belong together.
Putting them together just muddies the waters. Some combinations go well together, like chocolate and peanut butter, this on the other hand is just pain sour.
What it boils down to for me is this. I can look at the data that science provides and understand the linkage between Homo erectus, and me. I can also see the need to find a spiritual belief to explain existence. Both help us find meaning in our lives.
But what if we are just an accident? Why can't that be enough? Why do we have to perceive some master plan?
I think that if there was some master plan, then the intelligent designer involved must take a short bus to work. There are too many things that we surround ourselves with that don't add up. Too many things that show and absence of logic and are far too random and chaotic to show any perceivable design.
Maybe the beauty of that chaotic randomness should be enough. Lord knows there are far more important things to worry about these days. Especially given the times that we live in. Perhaps wars and famine and disease could take precedence instead. I'm pretty sure there are millions of people who would agree with me.
In the previous blog entry about this subject, I made a caustic joke involving a Manatee and Paris Hilton to try illustrate my point.
Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps there is an intelligent designer out there. If there is… He / She / It has a brilliant sense of humor, but really shitty timing.
But for both My and manatee's sake perhaps we could move onto new and more pressing business.
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