10/23/05 Balcony Oratorio

It’s 3:35 am and I’m alert and awake. I think I have become the human embodiment of an Owl. (Well minus the fucked up eyes… And I’ll likely pass on the steady diet of rodents.) Sometimes insomnia can be fun. Tonight is definitely one of those kinda nights.

Thanks to wireless Internet, I can write this and still gawk at the live action version of “Ritchie Rich”. (The commercial breaks have made it really funny. 4 ads for a Spokane sex shop, and 3 for an “Adult” chat line. Just brilliant… Exactly what the fine people at Harvey comics had in mind when they sold the TV rights.)

More entertaining though is the drunken argument taking place just to the south of my balcony. It never ceases to amaze me when and what people will fight over.

The main event tonight appears to be a “Bitch” fight over who stole whose boyfriend. So far it’s very funny. I love hearing white girls from the suburbs of Calgary utter nonsense like “Oh You didn’t!!!” and “Bring it Bitch…” I’m not sure Shakespeare could have penned the dialog better.

Because of the way my building was constructed, the sounds from outside actually amplify. Over the last year or so I have heard some real doozeys. For a while, I used to pretend I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I found that I actually enjoyed listening in. It’s like some perverse radio show, only occasionally the police show up. (Killjoys…)

Earlier tonight I was treated to a conversation where two dudes chatted about their most recent V.D. tests. I guess people don’t realize that others could be listening. I’ve thought about buying a shotgun microphone, and recording what I hear. I think it could be a really cool multimedia project.

Perhaps a blog dedicated to it. I can see the title already… Something like “Balcony Oratorio” or maybe something more direct… “Here’s a bunch of Weird Shit My Neighbours Have Been Saying.”

How about “Bitch Fights and V.D. Tests…”

To quote the TV show Frasier… “I’m listening…”