Welcome to Canada
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Apparently since the US election, Canadian Immigration has seen a huge number of Americans apply to become Landed Immigrants.( I can't say I blame you for wanting to leave. I'd get the fuck outta Dodge too.)
On behalf of Canada, I'd like to welcome you to our fair land. For your comfort (as well as ours...) There are a few things you'll need to understand.
1) Most of us don't like guns. At least not hand guns, So don't bring them. (We have managed to talk our way outta trouble for a long, long time now. it's time you folks learned that too.)
2) It's not called Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. You must now refer to it by it's real moniker. "Kraft Dinner"
3) We really don't need any more folk singers, hippies, or Coffee Houses. Please pick other occupations.
4) You will be forced to hear "We Told you so!!!" everytime Dubya's name is mentioned in casual conversation.
5) We all think that Anne Murray sucks.
6) Manners are a must. It's nice to hear Please and Thank you once in a while.
7) It's most likely colder here than you are used to. Suck it up.
8) The last letter of the Alphabet is pronounced "ZED" not "ZEE"
9) We are aware that you have been sewing our flag on your luggage when you travel. Tsk Tsk... That kind of shameful dishonesty will not be tolerated. We have our eye on you.
10) The expression "the mounties always get their man" is true. (alright, that one's a lie...)
11) We're not that wild about Celine Dion either.(this one is the Gospel truth...)
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