04/05/05

After much nagging by my friends, and even more gnashing of my own teeth, I finally cracked. I watched Jerry Seinfeld's Comedian. I have to admit, against my own natural prejudice I enjoyed it. (I have never been a fan of Seinfeld.)

It is refreshing to see someone of that caliber in the same boat as other comics. Mind you, Seinfeld has the luxury of getting stage time whenever he wants. Not that watching him develop a new act in such a short amount of time isn't impressive, but he has the cult of personality on his side, and I suspect that audiences forgive him more quickly than they would me.

Seeing him interact with his peer group was interesting too. It reminded me of my own cadre of misfits. I guess that comics function in cells, and my cell really isn't that different. I'd like to see a documentary about us one day. Looking back at our development would be just as interesting, perhaps more so.

The best part of the documentary was watching the misery that is Orny Adams. He came off like a freight train loaded for bare, and ready to go screaming off the rails. He did not disappoint. Watching someone drown while remaining buoyant is just about as curious a thing as I can think of.

He's a fascinating mix of foolish bravado and self-loathing. Take a dash of Pachino's attitude, and add a whole lot of Woody Allen. (Just subtract the same level of talent, the geeky glasses and the Vietnamese daughter / wife…) Watching him succeed, and then implode moments later, with even more impressive grandeur is a masochist's wet dream.

I think it's neat when people fuck themselves in public, because the fireworks are always splendid. Rubber necking to get a gawk at a grisly scene like that is a treat indeed.

I shouldn't revel in someone else's misery. It's not fair of me. Fuck it… It's just too much fun. It's like a spoonful of the best honey.

On to other things…

I have started on a new health plan. I'm working out, and have adopted the Weight Watchers point system. I need to shake the weight I've gained over the last 3 years. I'm feeling very positive about these changes. I've committed myself to them, and will not stop until I have achieved success. I've heard that part of having a sound mind, is having a sound body, so a change was needed.

Over the years, I've added and shed weight like Oprah Winfrey. I'm committed to slimming down and staying that way. I've gotten tired of people telling me that I look like Drew Carey. Fuck that… (Especially when followed by “not in that way… ” Because you total mean that way, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to qualify it…)

And for those of you that have said that to me over the years, I have just one thing to say… EAT ME you evil fuckers!!! Not once have I ever told anyone of you that you just might be the dumbest fucking people on earth. (Right next to Pammy Anderson in the stupidity gene pool…) If this offends you… Good… Right back at you bitches. If there's an after life, I'm going to be waiting… and you're gonna get a kick in the collective junk. For the record, I don't care if I get a few “bad karma” points in the process. To quote Eddie Izzard, “Personally I think you are all a bunch of bastards.”

Wow, I'm angrier about that than I thought.