I am getting sick in the heart. Not in a literal sense, but I do feel sad. Last night I hooked up with Brett, and we went to the Ship and Anchor for a pint. From our vantage point we noticed a vicious street fight. It was like watching two lesser apes smack their chests for some sort of brood dominance, but without any sense of priority.
It makes me sick to watch. But in a very dark way, I kind of wished that they would have finished each other off. Society would be down two alpha males, and the gene pool would be that much richer for it. I have never been aggressive that way, even in those moments when I'm smashed out of my gourd. I tend to go the other way, happy go lucky, and brutally frank, but happy nonetheless.
I have never seen the need to lay fists on someone else. I've wanted to, but have always restrained these primal pressures, because I know they solve nothing. I have nothing to prove by bashing the shit out of someone, and I fail to comprehend the people who do.
What possesses a person to lose that kind of control? I'm keenly aware that alcohol plays big a part, but all it really does is open the door, it still takes the wanton desire to walk through it and take that first swing. I'd like to say it's an intelligence issue, but sadly I know it is not. Perhaps there are some external pressures that exert influence, like social and “eco-demonic” forces that drive someone to lash out at even the most miniscule of circumstances.
Maybe, the rap counter culture that has arisen in teenager land shares some of the responsibility, although I am not convinced. Regardless of the culture of violence, that hip-hop has been constantly demonized for; it still takes a willing participant to perpetuate it.
Statistics aside, it seems as if violent behavior is on the rise. Calgary has had a lot of problems with violence in the nightclub scene lately. There is an obvious seething undercurrent here and it's starting to boil over. Two murders, a stabbing, and numerous fights have thrust the issue into the spotlight over last few months. The police appear to have been caught with their pants down, and have been very slow to react to concerns about public safety.
I think the reason why this kind of shit crushes me is because I have hope. I desperately want people to rise above petty nonsense and work towards a greater good. Imagine if all that aggressive energy gave us something positive. What a wonderful world this would be. Instead we get bar fights and macho insecurity.
Perhaps I should give up. Forget to care that things are burning down around us. It would be much simpler that way. If only I could.
The way I see it, someone has to care. Once we all give up, the gig is over.
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