“One baby to another says - I'm lucky to have met you
I don't care what you think, unless it is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you…”
I’ve had this Nirvana song stuck in my head for 3 weeks straight. It’s called “Drain You” I’m sure it must mean something. (For the record, I love the song… but it seems to be haunting me.)
I did a lot of walking today. I walked to and from work, and then a bunch (the closest empirical measurement I could muster…) more tonight. It was nice and sunny today. The trees in my neigbourhood have finally surrendered their buds, and the shade along 13th avenue is lovely. I found myself stomping along, and blasting Bad Religion as loudly as the little ipod could muster. I had a good groove going on.
I got to wear my Punk Voter t-shirt today. That makes me happy. It’s the first time I’ve ever been able to wear it. When I got it in November, It was really, really tight. Now it’s billowing off of me. It’s red and had a picture of Bush on it with evil written across his forehead. There are some things that I am willing to advertise, and my brand of politics is one of them.
I’ve been kinda bored lately. After that spate of gigs, it got quiet. Too damn quiet. I really need some stage time. The time off is not fun. No gang, I don’t like it.
When I went for my walk tonight, I stopped at the Ship for a diet coke. Three separate people approached me, to tell me that they recognized me from appearances at Yuks. It was really strange. It was flattering, but a little uncomfortable too. I guess its cause I never go up to a dentist or some other professional and say… “Nice job with that crown…” or “Way to prosecute that criminal…”
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s cool to get some validation for what I do, and I guess there’s a cult of personality thing there too, but it just makes me feel awkward.
You can always tell when someone recognizes you too. They all make the same kind of gesticulation. First there’s the cup of the hand over the mouth, while they whisper to whomever they are with, then the lingering stare, finally followed by the approach. It’s kinda funny actually. That pattern never changes.
Anyway it’s time to sleep.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
05/26/05 Today...
I slept late today. I have been exhausted lately. It’s the kind of tired that makes you feel brittle. It’s almost as if you might break in a gust of wind. It’s my own fault though. I have little to no compunction to sleep until I shut down. This is nothing new to me. Those who read this blog, or who know me well, know I don’t shut down. I crash.
I looked in the mirror when I got up. My eyes were bloodshot. I have never seen them that bloodshot before. I looked like I might have gone though a very hard night of drinking.
Alas that was not the case. At least that way I could blame it on something other that my dysfunctional circadian rhythm. They looked like little pink marbles. They felt heavy like glass too. In my sleep-deprived state, I imagine kids playing knock outs with them. I know this can’t be good.
Work was as work is. I got myself the obligatory caffeine injection, and got rolling along. We started a one off project that just didn’t seem to get off the ground very well. It was slow and ugly. My gang had gotten quite frustrated with it, and I don’t blame them. It was a rough go.
I got home later than I had planned on. It took forever to get finished tonight. Erin was up, but not for long. She conked out early, so I decided to go for a walk.
The night air was nice. Not warm, but not chilly either, it was what I decided to be the perfect walking weather. I made it to the Ship and Anchor. The patio was full, and music spilled out onto the street, like it was rushing to meet me. I popped in to see who was around. About twenty minutes later, I decided to make my way for home again.
That takes me to here. It’s late again, and yet I sit and type this. A damn fool I am.
I looked in the mirror when I got up. My eyes were bloodshot. I have never seen them that bloodshot before. I looked like I might have gone though a very hard night of drinking.
Alas that was not the case. At least that way I could blame it on something other that my dysfunctional circadian rhythm. They looked like little pink marbles. They felt heavy like glass too. In my sleep-deprived state, I imagine kids playing knock outs with them. I know this can’t be good.
Work was as work is. I got myself the obligatory caffeine injection, and got rolling along. We started a one off project that just didn’t seem to get off the ground very well. It was slow and ugly. My gang had gotten quite frustrated with it, and I don’t blame them. It was a rough go.
I got home later than I had planned on. It took forever to get finished tonight. Erin was up, but not for long. She conked out early, so I decided to go for a walk.
The night air was nice. Not warm, but not chilly either, it was what I decided to be the perfect walking weather. I made it to the Ship and Anchor. The patio was full, and music spilled out onto the street, like it was rushing to meet me. I popped in to see who was around. About twenty minutes later, I decided to make my way for home again.
That takes me to here. It’s late again, and yet I sit and type this. A damn fool I am.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
05/24/05 cont'd
7am. Not my most favourite time of day. I don’t understand how my wife does this everyday. What kind of cruel taskmaster decided that this was the perfect time of day for people to be productive? There should be a revolution. Utopia for me would be starting work at noon. That sounds much more reasonable. Some may think that this notion is outta step. I say it’s sane.
The walk to work was nice enough. It was surprisingly quiet. There was no line at the café. (A rare occurrence…) Those poor bastards have to be up even earlier.
I think our society would be a much better place if we started our days much later. Imagine tens of millions of people who are well-rested, and ready to start the day fresh. There would be no need for guns; wars would be a thing of the past, as would road rage. The lack of sleep that triggers human stupidity would no longer exist. Productivity would be high; sales of sleeping aids would be low.
On to other things…
I’m working on a joke about Sting. The joke, more specifically is about his thoughts on tantric sex. I won’t get into the details of the joke, but I started thinking about what else could have tantric used as a suffix. Here’s a list.
1)Tantric Violence (This is a concept who’s time has come…)
2)Tantric Ambivalence (I’d write something here, but… aw fuck it…)
3)Tantric Obesity (Pass the dutchie…)
4)Tantric Misery (Sadly this one works for far to many people I know…)
5)Tantric Tragedy (Everyone knows someone who embraces this as their own personal mantra.)
I’m positive I’ll come up with more…
End of Transmission
The walk to work was nice enough. It was surprisingly quiet. There was no line at the café. (A rare occurrence…) Those poor bastards have to be up even earlier.
I think our society would be a much better place if we started our days much later. Imagine tens of millions of people who are well-rested, and ready to start the day fresh. There would be no need for guns; wars would be a thing of the past, as would road rage. The lack of sleep that triggers human stupidity would no longer exist. Productivity would be high; sales of sleeping aids would be low.
On to other things…
I’m working on a joke about Sting. The joke, more specifically is about his thoughts on tantric sex. I won’t get into the details of the joke, but I started thinking about what else could have tantric used as a suffix. Here’s a list.
1)Tantric Violence (This is a concept who’s time has come…)
2)Tantric Ambivalence (I’d write something here, but… aw fuck it…)
3)Tantric Obesity (Pass the dutchie…)
4)Tantric Misery (Sadly this one works for far to many people I know…)
5)Tantric Tragedy (Everyone knows someone who embraces this as their own personal mantra.)
I’m positive I’ll come up with more…
End of Transmission
05/24/05
Yet another entry in “The I can’t sleep chronicles.”
It’s been a fun couple of weeks. Life is generally pretty good. Erin and I had a good celebration this weekend. One year and counting, so far so good.
I’ve gone the movies a lot over the past week. On Wednesday Daniel and I went to see the new Star Wars flick. I loved it. It is my belief that for the duration of that film, time had no meaning. For just about 3 hours, I was that same awestruck little boy sitting in the theater in 1977. It was brilliant. All in all, it was a delicious moment of self-indulgence.
I had so much fun, that I had to go again. Erin and I went with her folks. It had that same magic for me once again. I think in some ways, I may have an unhealthy love of all things Star Wars. But then again, without Star Wars, it’s unlikely that I would love movies as much as I do. It has become the praxis of my love of cinema.
It was fun to see all the geeks out in full force. There were costumes spanning the entire gamut of the Star Wars universe. It was definitely more than a film. It was an event. A moment when geeks everywhere knew it would be okay to come out and play, and they didn’t disappoint.
Last night, Erin and I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I must say I liked it too. It evoked the same sense of adventure that “Gladiator” did. It was a little slower in spots, but there was enough solid material there to keep my interest keen.
More later.
It’s been a fun couple of weeks. Life is generally pretty good. Erin and I had a good celebration this weekend. One year and counting, so far so good.
I’ve gone the movies a lot over the past week. On Wednesday Daniel and I went to see the new Star Wars flick. I loved it. It is my belief that for the duration of that film, time had no meaning. For just about 3 hours, I was that same awestruck little boy sitting in the theater in 1977. It was brilliant. All in all, it was a delicious moment of self-indulgence.
I had so much fun, that I had to go again. Erin and I went with her folks. It had that same magic for me once again. I think in some ways, I may have an unhealthy love of all things Star Wars. But then again, without Star Wars, it’s unlikely that I would love movies as much as I do. It has become the praxis of my love of cinema.
It was fun to see all the geeks out in full force. There were costumes spanning the entire gamut of the Star Wars universe. It was definitely more than a film. It was an event. A moment when geeks everywhere knew it would be okay to come out and play, and they didn’t disappoint.
Last night, Erin and I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I must say I liked it too. It evoked the same sense of adventure that “Gladiator” did. It was a little slower in spots, but there was enough solid material there to keep my interest keen.
More later.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
05/17/05 Raining on Grandpa's garden
It’s 2:37 am; I can hear the rain ricocheting off the balcony. I love the rain. It reminds me of home. Newfoundland gets a lot of rain. It can be a little overwhelming sometimes, especially if it rains for weeks on end, but I miss it. I think I must have begun to count on it, as if it were the metronome that kept my life in time. It’s a strange comfort for me, likely because we just don’t get that much of it here in Calgary.
It’s been raining for a couple of hours now. It’s a good thing too; it’s been really dusty lately. The last few days have had a bit of grit to them, hopefully the water can wash it all away.
I fit into a pair of shorts that haven’t fit me properly for 2 years. That makes me happy. I’ve been doing well and the rewards are starting to make themselves known. My target is still about 30 pounds away. It seems like a mountain to climb, but at least I’m at the first base camp.
I went for a walk today. The smell of lilacs greeted me as I marched down 17th avenue. The fragrance reminds me of being at my grandparents’ house in the summer. There were always brilliant flowers in their backyard. My Grandfather was an amazing gardener. It was in his blood. He was a farmer first, and then when he retired, he moved to Calgary and got a job growing roses for a local greenhouse. It made him happy. He loved to putter around in the yard; I think it kept him going.
He always had the sweetest carrots in the yard. You could just pull them out of the dirt, give them a little squirt from the hose, and voila. They were almost like candy.
I miss him very much. He was just about the best person I have ever known. He was a kind and gentle soul, and he had this impish twinkle in his eye.
When I was in college, he did his best to make sure I never went without. Every time I left their house, usually after grandma (who was equally saintly…) had laid out a feast, I’d find a crisp 50-dollar bill in my pocket. I tried giving it back a few times, but never with much luck. He would pretend he had no idea where it came from, and then he’d just wink at me.
He always had the best advice. Sometimes it was masked as a story from his youth, but it always made sense. (Not always right away mind you… Sometimes it would go off like a little time bomb in my head as I headed home…) He helped me through a lot of heart ache, and was really patient with me, especially when I was less than patient with myself.
He’s been gone for about 6 years now. I was with him when he died. It was New Years day 1999. I had just gotten back from Saskatoon and had barely made it to see him. I managed to say goodbye. I’m not sure I ever got over hid death.
He was my moral compass. He was the measuring stick I used to pick my friends with. I heard somewhere that everyone you meet leaves a mark on your soul. I believe that to be true. I suspect that he left more than a mark. Most of the time it feels more like a riverbed.
Sometimes I still see him, usually in the strangest places. Once in a while I’m convinced I see him at the Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. It was his favorite.
I’m not sure why I decided to write about him tonight. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about the road too much. The distances are long, and there are a lot of farms along the way. I guess they just remind me of him.
Anyway I miss him.
It’s been raining for a couple of hours now. It’s a good thing too; it’s been really dusty lately. The last few days have had a bit of grit to them, hopefully the water can wash it all away.
I fit into a pair of shorts that haven’t fit me properly for 2 years. That makes me happy. I’ve been doing well and the rewards are starting to make themselves known. My target is still about 30 pounds away. It seems like a mountain to climb, but at least I’m at the first base camp.
I went for a walk today. The smell of lilacs greeted me as I marched down 17th avenue. The fragrance reminds me of being at my grandparents’ house in the summer. There were always brilliant flowers in their backyard. My Grandfather was an amazing gardener. It was in his blood. He was a farmer first, and then when he retired, he moved to Calgary and got a job growing roses for a local greenhouse. It made him happy. He loved to putter around in the yard; I think it kept him going.
He always had the sweetest carrots in the yard. You could just pull them out of the dirt, give them a little squirt from the hose, and voila. They were almost like candy.
I miss him very much. He was just about the best person I have ever known. He was a kind and gentle soul, and he had this impish twinkle in his eye.
When I was in college, he did his best to make sure I never went without. Every time I left their house, usually after grandma (who was equally saintly…) had laid out a feast, I’d find a crisp 50-dollar bill in my pocket. I tried giving it back a few times, but never with much luck. He would pretend he had no idea where it came from, and then he’d just wink at me.
He always had the best advice. Sometimes it was masked as a story from his youth, but it always made sense. (Not always right away mind you… Sometimes it would go off like a little time bomb in my head as I headed home…) He helped me through a lot of heart ache, and was really patient with me, especially when I was less than patient with myself.
He’s been gone for about 6 years now. I was with him when he died. It was New Years day 1999. I had just gotten back from Saskatoon and had barely made it to see him. I managed to say goodbye. I’m not sure I ever got over hid death.
He was my moral compass. He was the measuring stick I used to pick my friends with. I heard somewhere that everyone you meet leaves a mark on your soul. I believe that to be true. I suspect that he left more than a mark. Most of the time it feels more like a riverbed.
Sometimes I still see him, usually in the strangest places. Once in a while I’m convinced I see him at the Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. It was his favorite.
I’m not sure why I decided to write about him tonight. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about the road too much. The distances are long, and there are a lot of farms along the way. I guess they just remind me of him.
Anyway I miss him.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
05/12/05 Home Sweet Home
I’m home for a while. I’m happy to be here too. Happily I don’t have another road gig till the second week of June. I feel like I’ve been living in a suitcase for most of the New Year. I’m not complaining about it, but there is definitely something to be said for home. I think I took the creature comforts for granted. Nothing makes me happier than my own bed, and the one I love sleeping next to me.
Other stuff...
It seems the stage time has done me some good though, I feel stronger and more capable than I did, and have started writing again. It’s still dirty, but I have decided to embrace that for what it is. This is the place where I am right now, and this material has it’s own value. I’m sure that it will evolve as everything does, but for now it’s as good as it gets.
This concept of being a rostered professional comic is cool. The comics I had idolized as an amateur have become contemporaries. It’s a good feeling. I have started my journey into the real business of Stand Up, and damn it, I like it.
There are some things that I don’t like about this business. It’s rampant with politics, and it’s very difficult to stay away from it. The fragility of most comics’ egos doesn’t help the matter either. It’s like adding white gas to an already raging fire. There are too many little squabbles between what should be grown adults. Sometimes they boil over, and sometimes they just sit and simmer for years, either way no one wins. Almost always others get caught in the middle of the feud de jour, and with remarkable certainty they get hurt.
Other stuff...
It seems the stage time has done me some good though, I feel stronger and more capable than I did, and have started writing again. It’s still dirty, but I have decided to embrace that for what it is. This is the place where I am right now, and this material has it’s own value. I’m sure that it will evolve as everything does, but for now it’s as good as it gets.
This concept of being a rostered professional comic is cool. The comics I had idolized as an amateur have become contemporaries. It’s a good feeling. I have started my journey into the real business of Stand Up, and damn it, I like it.
There are some things that I don’t like about this business. It’s rampant with politics, and it’s very difficult to stay away from it. The fragility of most comics’ egos doesn’t help the matter either. It’s like adding white gas to an already raging fire. There are too many little squabbles between what should be grown adults. Sometimes they boil over, and sometimes they just sit and simmer for years, either way no one wins. Almost always others get caught in the middle of the feud de jour, and with remarkable certainty they get hurt.
Monday, May 09, 2005
05/09/05
The trip to Saskatchewan was fun. After being friends with Daniel for more than 5 years, we finally managed to hit the road together. (Yuks finally relented… or more to the point, we were both out of the shit books at the same time…. Kudos to Holly for putting this together…)
Dan is a curious, and kinda impish fellow. He uses charm to his advantage, and has a keen sense of his own abilities. He is definitely a comedy warrior, but it's obvious that the road has clearly left its mark on him. He drags on his personality with impunity, and lets it drive his show. His character leaves a frank and distinct impression, but its force of will that makes him funny. (Very funny indeed…)
His freewheeling style makes his show natural, and very easy going. Its pace is dictated by his whim. (One might even say it tends to be rather breezy…) But at no point is he compromising. When he decides to exert more control over an audience, they become better for it. He's a treat to watch.
Saskatoon was a very good show. I did well. There were a couple of soft jokes, but overall it was solid. I like it there. The people in Saskatoon are very nice, open sort of folk. Everyone I talked with had a warmth, and a little light in their eyes. It was a very positive experience.
I ran into a former employee of mine working at the hotel we were staying at. It was very strange to see him. (Given that the set of circumstances that led to his being "freed up for new opportunities" were quite strange in and amongst themselves…) He seemed happy, and looked healthier than I can ever recall seeing him.
After the show, which went rather well, we mingled with the crowd for a bit, and then went off to have a drink. Dan managed to strike up a conversation that met his fancy and I went off in search of some live music with a few of the locals.
I saw an average cover band, and had a couple of drinks, and met some nice people.
Overall it was a good day.
Regina, was not as good, but still went well. We were warned in advance that the crowd was going to be small (which helped…) and the show had a different feel to it. It was a slower pace, and the crowd reactions, while positive, were smaller.
The majority of the audience was made up of RCMP cadets. (Apparently I seem to attract them… Like last year in William's lake…) Happily they were pretty young, and still liked to party.
It wasn't a wild night. I was asleep by about 1:15 or so, but I had some odd dreams that I'm still trying to figure out.
The strangest thing about the trip was this. In Saskatchewan retailers have to hide cigarettes behind a curtain. The rationale employed here is that by hiding them, they can't be a lure for children. I think that's brilliantly stupid. Once again smokers are being treated like social pariahs. It felt like I was trying to buy porn. Soon you'll have to get them wrapped in brown paper.
Dan is a curious, and kinda impish fellow. He uses charm to his advantage, and has a keen sense of his own abilities. He is definitely a comedy warrior, but it's obvious that the road has clearly left its mark on him. He drags on his personality with impunity, and lets it drive his show. His character leaves a frank and distinct impression, but its force of will that makes him funny. (Very funny indeed…)
His freewheeling style makes his show natural, and very easy going. Its pace is dictated by his whim. (One might even say it tends to be rather breezy…) But at no point is he compromising. When he decides to exert more control over an audience, they become better for it. He's a treat to watch.
Saskatoon was a very good show. I did well. There were a couple of soft jokes, but overall it was solid. I like it there. The people in Saskatoon are very nice, open sort of folk. Everyone I talked with had a warmth, and a little light in their eyes. It was a very positive experience.
I ran into a former employee of mine working at the hotel we were staying at. It was very strange to see him. (Given that the set of circumstances that led to his being "freed up for new opportunities" were quite strange in and amongst themselves…) He seemed happy, and looked healthier than I can ever recall seeing him.
After the show, which went rather well, we mingled with the crowd for a bit, and then went off to have a drink. Dan managed to strike up a conversation that met his fancy and I went off in search of some live music with a few of the locals.
I saw an average cover band, and had a couple of drinks, and met some nice people.
Overall it was a good day.
Regina, was not as good, but still went well. We were warned in advance that the crowd was going to be small (which helped…) and the show had a different feel to it. It was a slower pace, and the crowd reactions, while positive, were smaller.
The majority of the audience was made up of RCMP cadets. (Apparently I seem to attract them… Like last year in William's lake…) Happily they were pretty young, and still liked to party.
It wasn't a wild night. I was asleep by about 1:15 or so, but I had some odd dreams that I'm still trying to figure out.
The strangest thing about the trip was this. In Saskatchewan retailers have to hide cigarettes behind a curtain. The rationale employed here is that by hiding them, they can't be a lure for children. I think that's brilliantly stupid. Once again smokers are being treated like social pariahs. It felt like I was trying to buy porn. Soon you'll have to get them wrapped in brown paper.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
05/05/05
So far, I’m having a pretty good week. My friend Daryl managed a safe return from Oz. He’s a busy guy these days, in for two days and then off to Toronto. I’m glad he’s doing well. He seems to be in a much better way than the last time I saw him. The Melbourne festival seems to have done him some good.
This weekend I’m off to Saskatoon and then Regina. I’m looking forward to it. The last few shows I’ve had have been a little shaky, (this is a bit of an understatement…) and this run should be good to help scrape off some of the taint of Interior BC that always seems to stick to me.
The last time I went out there was over a year ago, and I have to say if this time is even half as much fun, it will rock.
Week 5 of the diet is going well. I’m getting a little sick of soup and crave for things that I know are beyond bad for me. Just about every time I pass by KFC my brain starts to churn out sick, twisted little fantasies about fried chicken. So far I have resisted. But I fear its only a matter of time before the jig is up.
This weekend I’m off to Saskatoon and then Regina. I’m looking forward to it. The last few shows I’ve had have been a little shaky, (this is a bit of an understatement…) and this run should be good to help scrape off some of the taint of Interior BC that always seems to stick to me.
The last time I went out there was over a year ago, and I have to say if this time is even half as much fun, it will rock.
Week 5 of the diet is going well. I’m getting a little sick of soup and crave for things that I know are beyond bad for me. Just about every time I pass by KFC my brain starts to churn out sick, twisted little fantasies about fried chicken. So far I have resisted. But I fear its only a matter of time before the jig is up.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Acme Brand Batman costume...
batmanNot
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Now I'll finally catch that Road Runner... BEEP BEEP!!!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
05/01/05
I’m tired today. I’m feeling a little run down. I woke up later than I wanted to. Erin came in and tried to rouse me at noon, but I was still in a mostly zombie like state at that point. Not even the first coffee of the day had any effect. If I had been anymore out of it I would have bolts in my neck, and a curious surgical scar running the length of my forehead.
I didn’t work out today, but rather opted for a walk to The Planet cafe. I figured since it was a good 30-minute walk from where I live, that I would get my daily-required exercise without having to lift weights. My arms already feel like they weight about a million pounds, and I would probably wind up pulling them out of their sockets in the process. (That scenario is a little too Looney Toons for me today…)
The Planet seems more sterile than the last time I was here. I used to take comfort in coming here. It was a bastion (one of the last…) for those who cherish the arts, and beacon for those of similar interests. Now it seems more like a place for the “Try Hards” and not the “Die Hards” of yore. It just doesn’t have the same kinda soul that it once did.
Perhaps I’ve just been away from it for too long. Maybe I’m just misty eyed for the “Good old days.” I hope that’s not it. That would suck. That would mean I’ve been infected by the curse of getting older, and suffering from the worst of its symptoms, being “outta touch.”
I’m not sure why that seems important to me, I should know better. It’s probably denial about getting older. I’m beginning to equate this whole aging thing with the death of the Peter Pan character living inside me. My best guess is that it’s a juvenile evasion of the adult priorities that life has handed me.
Damn it, I hate that. I hate that we get programmed to give up on all the fun things in life, so we can be secure. I hate that survival means no more shopping cart races down a giant hill, or getting really high and trying to climb craggy rocks. (I realize the stupidity of this… and yet it still makes me sad…)
This is starting to sound like I think that I’m a old man. I do not. I’m just starting to understand that I have some limitations. Some of them imposed by mother nature, and some self imposed, but limitations nonetheless.
Gone are the days of feeling totally indestructible. I feel only sort of indestructible these days. I’ve become Indestructible within what I call a given set of parameters. (Fuck that’s sad.) I think that’s why I like “Jackass” so much. It’s all the stupid things I’d love to do, (And in some cases have already done…but would willingly do again…) if I still had the bone density and the mettle.
Last night I watched the remake of the classic “Dawn of the Dead.” I must admit I loved it. It wasn’t really all that close to the original, but it sure was goofy fun. Then again, I’m a little biased I guess. I have always been a sucker for Zombie movies.
I remember when I was in my early teens, every Friday night Steve Guy and I would go to the video store and rent as many cheesy horror movies as we could watch, load up on gummy bears and other rotten treats and just vegetate.
I used to love it. Every chainsaw slash, every suspicious pool of blood, and every psychopathic mutant hell bent on revenge, all of it… It made me howl with laughter. It’s funny how that can seem innocent, (Being just about as graphic as violence can get…) but it was.
I didn’t work out today, but rather opted for a walk to The Planet cafe. I figured since it was a good 30-minute walk from where I live, that I would get my daily-required exercise without having to lift weights. My arms already feel like they weight about a million pounds, and I would probably wind up pulling them out of their sockets in the process. (That scenario is a little too Looney Toons for me today…)
The Planet seems more sterile than the last time I was here. I used to take comfort in coming here. It was a bastion (one of the last…) for those who cherish the arts, and beacon for those of similar interests. Now it seems more like a place for the “Try Hards” and not the “Die Hards” of yore. It just doesn’t have the same kinda soul that it once did.
Perhaps I’ve just been away from it for too long. Maybe I’m just misty eyed for the “Good old days.” I hope that’s not it. That would suck. That would mean I’ve been infected by the curse of getting older, and suffering from the worst of its symptoms, being “outta touch.”
I’m not sure why that seems important to me, I should know better. It’s probably denial about getting older. I’m beginning to equate this whole aging thing with the death of the Peter Pan character living inside me. My best guess is that it’s a juvenile evasion of the adult priorities that life has handed me.
Damn it, I hate that. I hate that we get programmed to give up on all the fun things in life, so we can be secure. I hate that survival means no more shopping cart races down a giant hill, or getting really high and trying to climb craggy rocks. (I realize the stupidity of this… and yet it still makes me sad…)
This is starting to sound like I think that I’m a old man. I do not. I’m just starting to understand that I have some limitations. Some of them imposed by mother nature, and some self imposed, but limitations nonetheless.
Gone are the days of feeling totally indestructible. I feel only sort of indestructible these days. I’ve become Indestructible within what I call a given set of parameters. (Fuck that’s sad.) I think that’s why I like “Jackass” so much. It’s all the stupid things I’d love to do, (And in some cases have already done…but would willingly do again…) if I still had the bone density and the mettle.
Last night I watched the remake of the classic “Dawn of the Dead.” I must admit I loved it. It wasn’t really all that close to the original, but it sure was goofy fun. Then again, I’m a little biased I guess. I have always been a sucker for Zombie movies.
I remember when I was in my early teens, every Friday night Steve Guy and I would go to the video store and rent as many cheesy horror movies as we could watch, load up on gummy bears and other rotten treats and just vegetate.
I used to love it. Every chainsaw slash, every suspicious pool of blood, and every psychopathic mutant hell bent on revenge, all of it… It made me howl with laughter. It’s funny how that can seem innocent, (Being just about as graphic as violence can get…) but it was.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
04/28/05
I had a gig last night. I went to Fairmont Springs with Doc Barham. He was a good guy to travel with. I think we hit it off. We traded war stories from the glory days of old school punk, and had a good time trashing Baby Bush.
Fairmont Springs is a little resort town in the interior of British Columbia. The Golf course there has a show. More to the point, they have a room, a big one, which was mostly empty. (A room designed for about 200, and I’d stay with all honesty there was less than 10 percent of that…) It was notably very cold and unforgiving. (I’m pretty sure it’s a place where they send comics just to keep them humble…)
Even the bar staff were borderline hateful. There was an obvious air of resentment from the second we walked through the door. The staff at the venue were quite curt, and seemed really put out by having a comedy show in the bar. I was shocked. I don’t expect handshakes and kisses on the cheek, but something more than a grimace might be nice.
The bar barely made an attempt to put the show on. They should have put up a sign that said “Please leave your dignity and self esteem at the door.” At least that way you could be forewarned. (I’m not sure that being forearmed would have mattered much.)
The bartender (in a polite, yet clearly annoyed fashion…) walked up to the stage with me, and then just kinda pointed at the P.A. I got the crash course, and then he lumbered off.
So I started the show… And it sled straight to hell from there. It just might have been the most awkward time I have ever had on stage. I felt like I was trapped in a fishbowl. I’ve never been gawked at like that before. It was like I had just told the audience I set fire to all their children. If this kick to my ego had been measured in monetary terms, I’d be fighting off debt collectors and loan sharks right now.
Doc’s set wasn’t much better either. He fought hard to win them over, but it was like watching someone try to squeeze blood from a turnip. He was disappointed, but put up with it like a trooper.
This morning I had a chat with the woman who runs the Spruce Grove Motel. (Our quaint accommodations… Nice, but a little sparse…) Apparently the little fracas that happened in Cranbrook last week has made the rounds. She had heard that the show had been going well (I chose not to correct that assertion…) and then chaos erupted.
It feels like I have some sort of BC monkey on my back. I never do well there. (Other than Vancouver…) The interior seems to have a big stick in its ass. Perhaps it’s the kooky fundamentalist Christian thing that runs rampant there. It’s more than a little ominous. There are signs that say things like “Jesus is the Lord of this Valley” all over the place, frankly its creepy.
I will never begrudge anyone for his or her faith, it’s not my right, or my place, but as near as I can tell, it’s a very personal thing. (Or at least it should be.) I keep my spiritual beliefs close to my chest, because they belong to me. No one else needs to know them.
I fail to understand the need for billboard-sized proclamations. I think that’s unique to Christian based belief systems. You never see Buddhists hauling out the plywood and paint to advertise. Muslims seem to get along nicely with out it too. (Other than the odd flaming effigy… but really that’s a political thing based more on the right to exist than a proclamation of faith.)
Anyway… I’m tired now.
Fairmont Springs is a little resort town in the interior of British Columbia. The Golf course there has a show. More to the point, they have a room, a big one, which was mostly empty. (A room designed for about 200, and I’d stay with all honesty there was less than 10 percent of that…) It was notably very cold and unforgiving. (I’m pretty sure it’s a place where they send comics just to keep them humble…)
Even the bar staff were borderline hateful. There was an obvious air of resentment from the second we walked through the door. The staff at the venue were quite curt, and seemed really put out by having a comedy show in the bar. I was shocked. I don’t expect handshakes and kisses on the cheek, but something more than a grimace might be nice.
The bar barely made an attempt to put the show on. They should have put up a sign that said “Please leave your dignity and self esteem at the door.” At least that way you could be forewarned. (I’m not sure that being forearmed would have mattered much.)
The bartender (in a polite, yet clearly annoyed fashion…) walked up to the stage with me, and then just kinda pointed at the P.A. I got the crash course, and then he lumbered off.
So I started the show… And it sled straight to hell from there. It just might have been the most awkward time I have ever had on stage. I felt like I was trapped in a fishbowl. I’ve never been gawked at like that before. It was like I had just told the audience I set fire to all their children. If this kick to my ego had been measured in monetary terms, I’d be fighting off debt collectors and loan sharks right now.
Doc’s set wasn’t much better either. He fought hard to win them over, but it was like watching someone try to squeeze blood from a turnip. He was disappointed, but put up with it like a trooper.
This morning I had a chat with the woman who runs the Spruce Grove Motel. (Our quaint accommodations… Nice, but a little sparse…) Apparently the little fracas that happened in Cranbrook last week has made the rounds. She had heard that the show had been going well (I chose not to correct that assertion…) and then chaos erupted.
It feels like I have some sort of BC monkey on my back. I never do well there. (Other than Vancouver…) The interior seems to have a big stick in its ass. Perhaps it’s the kooky fundamentalist Christian thing that runs rampant there. It’s more than a little ominous. There are signs that say things like “Jesus is the Lord of this Valley” all over the place, frankly its creepy.
I will never begrudge anyone for his or her faith, it’s not my right, or my place, but as near as I can tell, it’s a very personal thing. (Or at least it should be.) I keep my spiritual beliefs close to my chest, because they belong to me. No one else needs to know them.
I fail to understand the need for billboard-sized proclamations. I think that’s unique to Christian based belief systems. You never see Buddhists hauling out the plywood and paint to advertise. Muslims seem to get along nicely with out it too. (Other than the odd flaming effigy… but really that’s a political thing based more on the right to exist than a proclamation of faith.)
Anyway… I’m tired now.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
04/26/05
Here are some things I have been thinking about (In no particular order…)
1) I think the new Pope is pretty spooky looking. I have a feeling he won’t be around too long. I really had hoped that the Church would have looked to the future. I would have thought that a Black or Hispanic Pope would have done wonders for the image.
2) I really want to take a cooking course. Perhaps some sort of Asian Cuisine. It would be fun to learn something new.
3) I need to find a way to relax and sleep better. Maybe I’ll try meditation.
4) I think I want to volunteer with some sort of good cause organization. (My baby steps to redemption… but from what I’m not too sure…)
5) I need to write a whole lot more. I have been really slack lately.
6) I need to go back to Newfoundland soon. The homing beacon is on.
7) I’m going to start writing snail mail letters to people. It’s becoming a lost art.
8) I need to start reading the newspaper again. I let that one slide for too long.
1) I think the new Pope is pretty spooky looking. I have a feeling he won’t be around too long. I really had hoped that the Church would have looked to the future. I would have thought that a Black or Hispanic Pope would have done wonders for the image.
2) I really want to take a cooking course. Perhaps some sort of Asian Cuisine. It would be fun to learn something new.
3) I need to find a way to relax and sleep better. Maybe I’ll try meditation.
4) I think I want to volunteer with some sort of good cause organization. (My baby steps to redemption… but from what I’m not too sure…)
5) I need to write a whole lot more. I have been really slack lately.
6) I need to go back to Newfoundland soon. The homing beacon is on.
7) I’m going to start writing snail mail letters to people. It’s becoming a lost art.
8) I need to start reading the newspaper again. I let that one slide for too long.
05/25/05 "Saturday Night Main Event..."
I found a quote that best expresses my feelings about my trip to Cranbrook.
“Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.” - Max Ehrmann from The Desiderata
If Toronto is the cultural heart of Canada, (Many would argue this… I do not…) then Cranbrook is its spiritual armpit. People there have cloistered themselves from what’s happening in the rest of the country, and Damn it… they’ve done a smashing job of it. You can almost see a neon sign above the locals’ heads that says “Closed for Business…”
This mountain locale has all the hearty charm of a punch to the crotch. (That actually might be too gentle…)
The shows in Cranbrook were shakey to say the very least. Friday went well (ish). The crowd started small, but got progressively larger through the course of my set. They were there to laugh, and eventually warmed up enough to have a little fun. Truthfully it was the best I could hope for, and I knew it.
Saturday on the other hand was a complete and total shit show. The crowd was quite small, and there was a heckler… okay, really it was just a painful woman who was hammered and insisted on being rude. Every time I opened my mouth, she had something to say. I played with her for a while, letting her expose her ignorance to everyone. (Sadly no one really noticed.) I figured that would be enough. I figured wrong.
When I brought B.J. on stage, she started in on him. She was relentless. To B.J.’s credit, he was really gentle with her at first. Eventually (about 10 minutes later…) his fuse got short, and he barked at her. She still wouldn’t stop. He snapped something rude at her, and in a flash it got ugly.
Her husband took exception, and tried to rush the stage. He was quite small, and just about as lippy. Realizing that B.J. outweighed him by about 140 pounds, he backed off. (Albeit just briefly…)
He started kicking tables and chairs, and kept yelling, “Come on Bitch… Let’s go…”
B.J. remained remarkably calm… I was impressed. I was pretty sure that he could have ripped the little moron in half without even blinking. He stayed on stage and tried to salvage the show. (As much as he could… It was pretty much ashes after that…)
Then the bouncers showed up and dragged him out into the hall. Suddenly there was a loud crash that could be heard through the doors.
The dumb ass punched the wall in the lobby. He put his fist right through the gypsum. Seemingly not happy about this singular act of destruction, he slammed open the exit door, stomped down a set of stairs, and started kicking in a fence. This was a man on a mission. That’s when the RCMP showed up. I suspect that his night got a little more entertaining after that.
I imagine that the marital discourse in the doublewide later on was… in a word… grim.
On a side note, the hotel staff were fantastic. They were on top of things right away. They deserve a pat on the back.
I find it sad that some people are willing to wear their ignorance like a badge of honour. Even sadder is when others fail to recognize it. In a world where words like decency and morality are thrown about like a nickel and dime store slogan, it seems they have no actual meaning. The words have become bankrupt. (At least when benchmarked against behaviour.)
But really, the whole night had a miserable tinge to it. I could sense there was trouble afoot. It’s funny how you can almost smell it sometimes.
If it hadn’t been for the cool documentary about KISS on television, I’d be likely to say the trip was a bit of a bust.
“Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.” - Max Ehrmann from The Desiderata
If Toronto is the cultural heart of Canada, (Many would argue this… I do not…) then Cranbrook is its spiritual armpit. People there have cloistered themselves from what’s happening in the rest of the country, and Damn it… they’ve done a smashing job of it. You can almost see a neon sign above the locals’ heads that says “Closed for Business…”
This mountain locale has all the hearty charm of a punch to the crotch. (That actually might be too gentle…)
The shows in Cranbrook were shakey to say the very least. Friday went well (ish). The crowd started small, but got progressively larger through the course of my set. They were there to laugh, and eventually warmed up enough to have a little fun. Truthfully it was the best I could hope for, and I knew it.
Saturday on the other hand was a complete and total shit show. The crowd was quite small, and there was a heckler… okay, really it was just a painful woman who was hammered and insisted on being rude. Every time I opened my mouth, she had something to say. I played with her for a while, letting her expose her ignorance to everyone. (Sadly no one really noticed.) I figured that would be enough. I figured wrong.
When I brought B.J. on stage, she started in on him. She was relentless. To B.J.’s credit, he was really gentle with her at first. Eventually (about 10 minutes later…) his fuse got short, and he barked at her. She still wouldn’t stop. He snapped something rude at her, and in a flash it got ugly.
Her husband took exception, and tried to rush the stage. He was quite small, and just about as lippy. Realizing that B.J. outweighed him by about 140 pounds, he backed off. (Albeit just briefly…)
He started kicking tables and chairs, and kept yelling, “Come on Bitch… Let’s go…”
B.J. remained remarkably calm… I was impressed. I was pretty sure that he could have ripped the little moron in half without even blinking. He stayed on stage and tried to salvage the show. (As much as he could… It was pretty much ashes after that…)
Then the bouncers showed up and dragged him out into the hall. Suddenly there was a loud crash that could be heard through the doors.
The dumb ass punched the wall in the lobby. He put his fist right through the gypsum. Seemingly not happy about this singular act of destruction, he slammed open the exit door, stomped down a set of stairs, and started kicking in a fence. This was a man on a mission. That’s when the RCMP showed up. I suspect that his night got a little more entertaining after that.
I imagine that the marital discourse in the doublewide later on was… in a word… grim.
On a side note, the hotel staff were fantastic. They were on top of things right away. They deserve a pat on the back.
I find it sad that some people are willing to wear their ignorance like a badge of honour. Even sadder is when others fail to recognize it. In a world where words like decency and morality are thrown about like a nickel and dime store slogan, it seems they have no actual meaning. The words have become bankrupt. (At least when benchmarked against behaviour.)
But really, the whole night had a miserable tinge to it. I could sense there was trouble afoot. It’s funny how you can almost smell it sometimes.
If it hadn’t been for the cool documentary about KISS on television, I’d be likely to say the trip was a bit of a bust.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
04/21/05 "i see you Baby... shakin' that ass..."
I ‘ve had a weird day. I spent the early part of it wandering around Stephen Avenue handing out pamphlets. It’s amazing what lengths people will go to avoid you. I understand it though. I’m not one for people approaching me out of the blue either, and I really hate it when they want something from me.
Stephen Avenue is a neat place. It’s the best mix of what Calgary has to offer in terms of its denizens. There are white-collar pretty people, the subjugated blue collars, and a strange mix of the infirm, and those trying to shake down all of the previously mentioned.
I saw a guy today trying to pick up women on the avenue. He had long greasy hair, and felt that his physical attributes permitted him to negate the employment of a shirt. (A second opinion here would have been the wiser course of action…) He did however seem to think that an ill-fitting nylon jacket (unzipped) would aid in advancing his cause. He looked like a wrestler, not WWE style mind you, more like those wannabes that play in trailer parks and motor inns.
This was his clever pick up technique.
Wrestler Dude: Hey baby… (Whistle) How about some of that? Come on baby… Hey… don’t walk away baby… aw come on… where are ya going?
I think he may have set gender relations back about a decade.
From what I could tell, his success ratio was clocking in at just under zero. Well done… Well done indeed.
I spent the better part of the day chewing on some sad news. A friend of my family’s has fallen in with his demons. The anti-hero of this story is a 55-year-old man who had everything, and then pissed it all away. He had an amazing job that paid him handsomely. (Truthfully it was a king’s ransom to most of us average folks.)
Then he discovered crack. (Which really is the devil’s right hand.) His whole life collapsed.
He lost his job, his wife, and worst of all, his soul. This really makes me believe that the concept of “recreational use” is really quite a risky business proposition. Once you let that demon out of the box, nothing but a world of chaos remains. I’m glad that’s a lesson learned vicariously.
Erin and I went to the movies with my sister. It was great to see her. It’s been a while. I miss her; she has a gentleness that is quite calming. As far as siblings go she’s a kick ass sister. I haven’t always been the best brother, but I’m trying to get better at it. I hope she knows that.
She amazes me. She always remembers birthdays, and special occasions. She always has a little gift, and it’s always thoughtful. She takes the time to do the little things. She is a rock star.
Tomorrow I’m going to Cranbrook. I haven’t been there for years. The last time I was there, things didn’t go so well. That was my fist ever road gig. It sucked. I sucked. (There was a lot of suckage…) Ironically I’m going with the same headliner. I don’t have any expectations at this point. My plan is just to stand there and do my shit. Come what may.
I found out this week that I’m going to Saskatoon and Regina with my friend Daniel Rock. This pleases me greatly. He is really one of my most favorite people on the planet. He’s one of the few souls in my life whose advice isn’t taken with a grain of salt.
I know he dislikes the fact that I don’t email him, but I hate email. This blog (initially at least…) was designed so I could tell the people I care about what is happening with me. He was one of the principle folks I had in mind at the time. (Sort of like those family newsletters you get at Christmas… but no one is wearing a shitty reindeer sweater…)
Anyway that’s it for now…
Stephen Avenue is a neat place. It’s the best mix of what Calgary has to offer in terms of its denizens. There are white-collar pretty people, the subjugated blue collars, and a strange mix of the infirm, and those trying to shake down all of the previously mentioned.
I saw a guy today trying to pick up women on the avenue. He had long greasy hair, and felt that his physical attributes permitted him to negate the employment of a shirt. (A second opinion here would have been the wiser course of action…) He did however seem to think that an ill-fitting nylon jacket (unzipped) would aid in advancing his cause. He looked like a wrestler, not WWE style mind you, more like those wannabes that play in trailer parks and motor inns.
This was his clever pick up technique.
Wrestler Dude: Hey baby… (Whistle) How about some of that? Come on baby… Hey… don’t walk away baby… aw come on… where are ya going?
I think he may have set gender relations back about a decade.
From what I could tell, his success ratio was clocking in at just under zero. Well done… Well done indeed.
I spent the better part of the day chewing on some sad news. A friend of my family’s has fallen in with his demons. The anti-hero of this story is a 55-year-old man who had everything, and then pissed it all away. He had an amazing job that paid him handsomely. (Truthfully it was a king’s ransom to most of us average folks.)
Then he discovered crack. (Which really is the devil’s right hand.) His whole life collapsed.
He lost his job, his wife, and worst of all, his soul. This really makes me believe that the concept of “recreational use” is really quite a risky business proposition. Once you let that demon out of the box, nothing but a world of chaos remains. I’m glad that’s a lesson learned vicariously.
Erin and I went to the movies with my sister. It was great to see her. It’s been a while. I miss her; she has a gentleness that is quite calming. As far as siblings go she’s a kick ass sister. I haven’t always been the best brother, but I’m trying to get better at it. I hope she knows that.
She amazes me. She always remembers birthdays, and special occasions. She always has a little gift, and it’s always thoughtful. She takes the time to do the little things. She is a rock star.
Tomorrow I’m going to Cranbrook. I haven’t been there for years. The last time I was there, things didn’t go so well. That was my fist ever road gig. It sucked. I sucked. (There was a lot of suckage…) Ironically I’m going with the same headliner. I don’t have any expectations at this point. My plan is just to stand there and do my shit. Come what may.
I found out this week that I’m going to Saskatoon and Regina with my friend Daniel Rock. This pleases me greatly. He is really one of my most favorite people on the planet. He’s one of the few souls in my life whose advice isn’t taken with a grain of salt.
I know he dislikes the fact that I don’t email him, but I hate email. This blog (initially at least…) was designed so I could tell the people I care about what is happening with me. He was one of the principle folks I had in mind at the time. (Sort of like those family newsletters you get at Christmas… but no one is wearing a shitty reindeer sweater…)
Anyway that’s it for now…
Monday, April 18, 2005
04/18/05 The Monkey That Finally Got Off My Back...
The Saturday shows worked out nicely. They came together really well. The first show was fantastic. There were 340 people, and there was this electric feeling in the air. You could feel it, it was a brilliant tension. When I walked off stage, Denise, and Carol, (the two people who helped me the most over the years…) were beaming… and that just made the whole thing more amazing for me. I wish that Brett had been there, he would have loved it.
The second show wasn’t as good, but it was still pretty solid. It felt great to take on the crowd and win. After a very long time, I managed to stake my claim on that stage. I proved that I belong there. (I always knew… But I’ve had some detractors… and they needed to know too.) There are new goals placed ahead of me now. Look out planet, I got some shit to say, and it’s gonna be loud.
I wrote a couple of new jokes on stage, and they came out effortlessly. There is this real, and very natural feel to them. I have found a new, more playful way, and it’s really helping to flesh out my personality. I’m really excited to keep throwing new stuff out. I feel like I’m on a roll.
Freddy was did guest spots all weekend. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He makes me laugh. I think it’s because he mutters, and somehow it’s usually funny. He’s a strange, curiously distracted man.
Anyway I’m tired and need to sleep.
The second show wasn’t as good, but it was still pretty solid. It felt great to take on the crowd and win. After a very long time, I managed to stake my claim on that stage. I proved that I belong there. (I always knew… But I’ve had some detractors… and they needed to know too.) There are new goals placed ahead of me now. Look out planet, I got some shit to say, and it’s gonna be loud.
I wrote a couple of new jokes on stage, and they came out effortlessly. There is this real, and very natural feel to them. I have found a new, more playful way, and it’s really helping to flesh out my personality. I’m really excited to keep throwing new stuff out. I feel like I’m on a roll.
Freddy was did guest spots all weekend. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He makes me laugh. I think it’s because he mutters, and somehow it’s usually funny. He’s a strange, curiously distracted man.
Anyway I’m tired and need to sleep.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
04/16/05 "Here we are, the Princes of the Universe..."
Thursday was huge pile of stinky flaming crap. Smoke free night at Yuk Yuks. It sucked. How one show could suck so much is beyond my comprehension. The crowd was bad, (Again!!!) In fact they were really fucking bad. I wish I could say it was my fault; at least that way there might some explanation for their temperament. The show pretty much ended the way it began, with a (quiet, alone, hiding in the dark kind of) whimper.
Last night was much better. In the first show I had a solid set. After a couple of bad shows, it was nice to get that monkey off my back. I felt it was a little wordy in spots, but overall it went really well. The second show kicked ass. The audience was quite rowdy, but I managed to turn that into big laughter quite quickly. I had to smack down a heckler, but it took only one tap, and it was done. He decided early in our confrontation that it was a brighter idea to sit quietly and behave for me. After that, the show was all gravy. The M.C on the other hand, was less than impressed with the audience, and seemed to get a little belligerent after the show.
I understood his point of view, and in spirit I was right there with him, but it served no purpose to get uppity about it. The damage was done, and nothing could change that. Friday late show crowds are always loud and obnoxious. It doesn’t matter where you are in the country; Friday late shows always have the potential to get out of hand. It’s a fact, and just one of the many hazards of the job. Sure it’s frustrating, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.
Actually, he’s a bit of an odd duck. There is a lot of anger brewing inside him. Half the time, he comes off as cold, and speaks only when he’s been spoken too. Then he changes, and becomes chatty. It’s like a little switch has been flipped. I’m not sure if he’s shy, or just a dick. Oddly though, I like the guy. Maybe it’s because I see a fair amount of myself in him. The biggest difference between us is that I have managed to quell some of the bitterness, and he is enveloped by it.
Onto other stuff…
The diet is still going well. I haven’t had a much of a chance to work out this week, but I will get back at it with earnest on Sunday. I’m feeling really good. I’ve gotten stronger, and better still, my appetite has diminished to something more reasonable…
To reward myself for staying true to the diet, I bought myself a pair of old school Vans skate shoes. I love them. They are sooooo comfy. I’d forgotten how much I love them.
Next…
There’s a new band (to me anyway…) called Bloc Party. I like them. They’re quite heavy, but have really catchy melodies. There is a lot of big woody sounding bass and loud crisp, snappy drums. If you like Yo la Tengo, Fugazi or Superchunk, then this is a disc for you.
Now to the strange…
Apparently, last night there was a man shot by the police here in Calgary. According to the newspaper, he was wielding a sword. That’s a little nutty. What kind of person carries a sword? (Excusing the historical context for a minute…) Perhaps he watched too many episodes of “The Highlander.” (I would argue that any number greater than 1 episode is too many… but I digress…) Anyway he got shot. I’m not sure I’d blame a cop for shooting him. The poor bastard probably needs to be put out of his misery.
Anyway, that’s it for now.
End of Transmission
Last night was much better. In the first show I had a solid set. After a couple of bad shows, it was nice to get that monkey off my back. I felt it was a little wordy in spots, but overall it went really well. The second show kicked ass. The audience was quite rowdy, but I managed to turn that into big laughter quite quickly. I had to smack down a heckler, but it took only one tap, and it was done. He decided early in our confrontation that it was a brighter idea to sit quietly and behave for me. After that, the show was all gravy. The M.C on the other hand, was less than impressed with the audience, and seemed to get a little belligerent after the show.
I understood his point of view, and in spirit I was right there with him, but it served no purpose to get uppity about it. The damage was done, and nothing could change that. Friday late show crowds are always loud and obnoxious. It doesn’t matter where you are in the country; Friday late shows always have the potential to get out of hand. It’s a fact, and just one of the many hazards of the job. Sure it’s frustrating, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.
Actually, he’s a bit of an odd duck. There is a lot of anger brewing inside him. Half the time, he comes off as cold, and speaks only when he’s been spoken too. Then he changes, and becomes chatty. It’s like a little switch has been flipped. I’m not sure if he’s shy, or just a dick. Oddly though, I like the guy. Maybe it’s because I see a fair amount of myself in him. The biggest difference between us is that I have managed to quell some of the bitterness, and he is enveloped by it.
Onto other stuff…
The diet is still going well. I haven’t had a much of a chance to work out this week, but I will get back at it with earnest on Sunday. I’m feeling really good. I’ve gotten stronger, and better still, my appetite has diminished to something more reasonable…
To reward myself for staying true to the diet, I bought myself a pair of old school Vans skate shoes. I love them. They are sooooo comfy. I’d forgotten how much I love them.
Next…
There’s a new band (to me anyway…) called Bloc Party. I like them. They’re quite heavy, but have really catchy melodies. There is a lot of big woody sounding bass and loud crisp, snappy drums. If you like Yo la Tengo, Fugazi or Superchunk, then this is a disc for you.
Now to the strange…
Apparently, last night there was a man shot by the police here in Calgary. According to the newspaper, he was wielding a sword. That’s a little nutty. What kind of person carries a sword? (Excusing the historical context for a minute…) Perhaps he watched too many episodes of “The Highlander.” (I would argue that any number greater than 1 episode is too many… but I digress…) Anyway he got shot. I’m not sure I’d blame a cop for shooting him. The poor bastard probably needs to be put out of his misery.
Anyway, that’s it for now.
End of Transmission
Thursday, April 14, 2005
04/14/05 Just a quick note.
I worked out tonight, but I found it hard to get into a groove. I spent 30 min on the bike, but I just couldn’t find a comfortable pace. I was somewhat distracted, and my legs were a little bit stiffer than I would have liked.
So far I seem to be doing well with my diet and workout routine. It’s not hard, quite the opposite actually. I haven’t really had many cravings, and I get to eat what I like, just in smaller portions. I find I’m not as hungry as I used to be. I needed to use a tighter notch on my belt today. It’s nice to see a little bit of payoff.
I’m feeling physically stronger than I have in a long, long time. I’m getting that satisfactory ache in my muscles, the kind you get after some good exercise. I feel like I’m accomplishing something. Hopefully I’ll be back to my old weight in no time flat. (The toning doesn’t hurt either.)
I said that this would be the year of changes, and so far so good. My new, and healthier attitude is affecting more and more parts of my life. (And I’ve never had this much soup before…)
Tonight, I’m performing at Yuks. I’m the middle guy. I can’t wait. I haven’t been on stage for 30 minutes for quite some time. I’m gonna have a blast.
More to come.
So far I seem to be doing well with my diet and workout routine. It’s not hard, quite the opposite actually. I haven’t really had many cravings, and I get to eat what I like, just in smaller portions. I find I’m not as hungry as I used to be. I needed to use a tighter notch on my belt today. It’s nice to see a little bit of payoff.
I’m feeling physically stronger than I have in a long, long time. I’m getting that satisfactory ache in my muscles, the kind you get after some good exercise. I feel like I’m accomplishing something. Hopefully I’ll be back to my old weight in no time flat. (The toning doesn’t hurt either.)
I said that this would be the year of changes, and so far so good. My new, and healthier attitude is affecting more and more parts of my life. (And I’ve never had this much soup before…)
Tonight, I’m performing at Yuks. I’m the middle guy. I can’t wait. I haven’t been on stage for 30 minutes for quite some time. I’m gonna have a blast.
More to come.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
04/10/05 More Stuff About Me...
Some more things about me:
1) My favorite colour is maroon. (With a little more red than purple…)
2) My new favorite food is Chicken Shawarma.
3) I've switched to Camel lights.
4) My favorite movie villain is Darth Vader.
5) My favorite scotch is Laphroag.
6) I have never been “a little bit country.”
7) I hate Microsoft. (More than most…)
8) I love table hockey. Air hockey is good too.
9) I ate a “Lean Cuisine” frozen meal tonight. (It wasn't great… but so far it hasn't killed me…)
10) There is a pack of “Spiderman” brand candy cigarettes on my bookshelf. They've been there since last April. My friend
Michelle gave them to me. They will likely be there next April.
11) I have never purchased a Pez dispenser, and yet I have about 10 of them.
12) I like really dry books. (How many of you have a copy of “The Letters of Marshall McLuhan” in your collection?)
13) Few things beat a good documentary.
14) I have been in my apartment over a year, and there are still boxes that have been unopened.
15) My favorite comic book hero is Hellboy.
16) I have a really cool younger sister. Her name is Charlotte.
1) My favorite colour is maroon. (With a little more red than purple…)
2) My new favorite food is Chicken Shawarma.
3) I've switched to Camel lights.
4) My favorite movie villain is Darth Vader.
5) My favorite scotch is Laphroag.
6) I have never been “a little bit country.”
7) I hate Microsoft. (More than most…)
8) I love table hockey. Air hockey is good too.
9) I ate a “Lean Cuisine” frozen meal tonight. (It wasn't great… but so far it hasn't killed me…)
10) There is a pack of “Spiderman” brand candy cigarettes on my bookshelf. They've been there since last April. My friend
Michelle gave them to me. They will likely be there next April.
11) I have never purchased a Pez dispenser, and yet I have about 10 of them.
12) I like really dry books. (How many of you have a copy of “The Letters of Marshall McLuhan” in your collection?)
13) Few things beat a good documentary.
14) I have been in my apartment over a year, and there are still boxes that have been unopened.
15) My favorite comic book hero is Hellboy.
16) I have a really cool younger sister. Her name is Charlotte.
04/10/05 Three Ghosts and a Cuppa Coffee...
It's 9:30pm. I'm trying something a little new. I've gone to a café to write. I'm hoping that the different stimuli will encourage me. This place has a bohemian meets corrugated steel kind of feel to it. There are some quite neat black and white photos posted on the walls, and different colours everywhere. A man behind me is blowing into a digery doo. Ordinarily I'd prefer a digery don't, but right now it seems to work for me. This place has a comfort to it. It's not sterile, but it's not like a jungle here either.
The cafe is called “The Planet.” It kinda has a community feel to it. Artists of every variety and flavour come here to shoot the shit and fuel up on desperately needed caffeine. I used to be a regular here, but that was several years ago, before I met Erin, before Stand up became a job, and before I cared about things like RRSPs, mutual funds, and equity.
Sometimes I wish three ghosts would come and visit me. I'd like to meet the ghosts of Marcus past, present, and future. I wonder what they could offer me? What transgressions would they try to rectify? What would they help me rejoice? It's too bad that couldn't really happen (as near as I can tell…) because it would be an excellent tool to aid in the progress of human social evolution.
That would be killer… Like a Geiger counter designed to sniff out antisocial behavior, and help nip it in the bud before it became a something more, something larger and more difficult to challenge successfully. Imagine all the shit in your life that could have been stopped. The more I think about it, the more the concept flattens me.
I have started to look back a little on the things that have gotten me to here. I'm amazed that I became the man I am. There are so many things that haunt me, choices I've made (that while they have made the difference is a few cases…) I wish I could go back and spend a little more time thinking in future tense rather than past tense. A good example here would be my first marriage. I was young, and I'm not sure what I was thinking. Whatever it was, a dose of sober second thought would have been brilliant.
Currently I think I have been spending a lot of time with the ghost of Marcus present. There are some revelations that are surfacing that I'm not sure I like too much. For instance, I have discovered that I'm a rather typical male. (Happily not much of an alpha male…) I like beer and meat, with sports running a close third. (Not to mention sex and all it's glorious trappings…) I'm trying to see past the perceived failings of my gender, and rise above the things that make us stubborn, petulant, stupid, stereotypical, macho, and emotionally bankrupt.
Where I differ in most respects comes mostly from my parents. They encouraged me to seek answers wherever I could. They spent a lot of time carting me and my sister to things that would help us see the world differently. I was a museum rat just as much as I was a rink rat, and I liked a good dose of classical music along with my Dead Kennedys. (Although I would never admit to it back then…) They did so many things to try and round out our characters. They wanted us to be more than normal, more than mediocre, and I think they succeeded brilliantly.
All that stuff rubbed off really well. I have spent the last 15 years trying as many different things as possible. Just looking at the list of jobs I've done so far is telling. It's such a mixed bag of stuff. I have worked in radio, retail (mostly camera and record stores…), new media, filmmaking, market research, photography, and my favorite so far, Stand up.
More importantly I have been a man with many, many hats. I have been (and likely still will be… as least most of them…) a friend, a best friend, a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, a lifesaver, a person in need of saving, a villain, a hero, a radical, an enemy, a bastard, and a prince. (Not to mention Rock Star, and Prophet… but those are new… and they need to be broken in a little more…)
Those are the real Lego blocks of my personality. Those are the things that have the most value to me. They have made a curious shape to me. So far so good I guess.
I'm excited to meet the next ghost. Marcus future should have some interesting things to say.
End of Transmission
The cafe is called “The Planet.” It kinda has a community feel to it. Artists of every variety and flavour come here to shoot the shit and fuel up on desperately needed caffeine. I used to be a regular here, but that was several years ago, before I met Erin, before Stand up became a job, and before I cared about things like RRSPs, mutual funds, and equity.
Sometimes I wish three ghosts would come and visit me. I'd like to meet the ghosts of Marcus past, present, and future. I wonder what they could offer me? What transgressions would they try to rectify? What would they help me rejoice? It's too bad that couldn't really happen (as near as I can tell…) because it would be an excellent tool to aid in the progress of human social evolution.
That would be killer… Like a Geiger counter designed to sniff out antisocial behavior, and help nip it in the bud before it became a something more, something larger and more difficult to challenge successfully. Imagine all the shit in your life that could have been stopped. The more I think about it, the more the concept flattens me.
I have started to look back a little on the things that have gotten me to here. I'm amazed that I became the man I am. There are so many things that haunt me, choices I've made (that while they have made the difference is a few cases…) I wish I could go back and spend a little more time thinking in future tense rather than past tense. A good example here would be my first marriage. I was young, and I'm not sure what I was thinking. Whatever it was, a dose of sober second thought would have been brilliant.
Currently I think I have been spending a lot of time with the ghost of Marcus present. There are some revelations that are surfacing that I'm not sure I like too much. For instance, I have discovered that I'm a rather typical male. (Happily not much of an alpha male…) I like beer and meat, with sports running a close third. (Not to mention sex and all it's glorious trappings…) I'm trying to see past the perceived failings of my gender, and rise above the things that make us stubborn, petulant, stupid, stereotypical, macho, and emotionally bankrupt.
Where I differ in most respects comes mostly from my parents. They encouraged me to seek answers wherever I could. They spent a lot of time carting me and my sister to things that would help us see the world differently. I was a museum rat just as much as I was a rink rat, and I liked a good dose of classical music along with my Dead Kennedys. (Although I would never admit to it back then…) They did so many things to try and round out our characters. They wanted us to be more than normal, more than mediocre, and I think they succeeded brilliantly.
All that stuff rubbed off really well. I have spent the last 15 years trying as many different things as possible. Just looking at the list of jobs I've done so far is telling. It's such a mixed bag of stuff. I have worked in radio, retail (mostly camera and record stores…), new media, filmmaking, market research, photography, and my favorite so far, Stand up.
More importantly I have been a man with many, many hats. I have been (and likely still will be… as least most of them…) a friend, a best friend, a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, a lifesaver, a person in need of saving, a villain, a hero, a radical, an enemy, a bastard, and a prince. (Not to mention Rock Star, and Prophet… but those are new… and they need to be broken in a little more…)
Those are the real Lego blocks of my personality. Those are the things that have the most value to me. They have made a curious shape to me. So far so good I guess.
I'm excited to meet the next ghost. Marcus future should have some interesting things to say.
End of Transmission
Saturday, April 09, 2005
04/09/05
It's late, and as per usual, I'm sitting in front of the computer, trying to exorcise enough demons so I can close my eyes and rest. I've run myself down to a point where I actually saw stars and got a little dizzy. I'm pretty sure that's not a good sign. I had an orange and some coffee, which helped me out tremendously.
There is something tormenting me. I can't put my finger on it, but I can feel it chewing at the back of my brain. Maybe if I can figure it out, I'll begin to sleep like a little lamb.
It's 2:45, and I'm flipping channels. There isn't much on. Just a few re-runs of ancient “Just For Laughs” galas, and truly awful French soft-core porn. Either way there's a host of bad mustaches and people who generally have more hair than perhaps they should. God bless Bravo for giving the public the magical gift of ugly people fucking. (What a treat!!!) I guess any love is good love, even if it's hard to look at.
My day was shit. I was stressed to the max. A project I have been shepherding is giving me some grief. It's been a total gong show. There has been some outside interference that is making it more difficult than it really needs to be. My coworkers all noticed that I was out of sorts about it. Life would be great if we could live without external pressures. I think I need to live in a giant plastic bubble, or better yet, on an island that has not even the slightest shred of petty politics. I think I'm beginning to get a good understanding of the Amish. I'm willing to bet that besides the odd barn raising, life isn't really all that hectic around their parts. I bet they sleep better than I do too.
I think I need some time for me. I haven't really had much of it since I got back from Toronto. Any time I do get seems to be taken up by much needed sleep. I think I need a day or two of wandering around, and It's likely that I need to see some friends. For the first time in my life, all my close friends are scattered across the universe, and I am here away from them all. I'm just feeling a little lonely.
Maybe a trip to the museum would help. Feeding my brain usually helps. The physical manifestations of other people's thought, ideas, and feelings tend to ground me a little. It really doesn't matter if it's a sculpture, or a painting, or some dusty artifact, there's something about them that connects me to myself. I'm at a loss to explain why, it just does.
Maybe I look to the past for inspiration. Seeing the ingenuity of people from ancient cultures might very well be what entices me. Perhaps that requires further investigation.
I'd like to get good and stinking drunk too, but that is less likely to occur due to the new dietary restrictions.
Anyway I think I'm tired enough to crash.
End of Transmission
There is something tormenting me. I can't put my finger on it, but I can feel it chewing at the back of my brain. Maybe if I can figure it out, I'll begin to sleep like a little lamb.
It's 2:45, and I'm flipping channels. There isn't much on. Just a few re-runs of ancient “Just For Laughs” galas, and truly awful French soft-core porn. Either way there's a host of bad mustaches and people who generally have more hair than perhaps they should. God bless Bravo for giving the public the magical gift of ugly people fucking. (What a treat!!!) I guess any love is good love, even if it's hard to look at.
My day was shit. I was stressed to the max. A project I have been shepherding is giving me some grief. It's been a total gong show. There has been some outside interference that is making it more difficult than it really needs to be. My coworkers all noticed that I was out of sorts about it. Life would be great if we could live without external pressures. I think I need to live in a giant plastic bubble, or better yet, on an island that has not even the slightest shred of petty politics. I think I'm beginning to get a good understanding of the Amish. I'm willing to bet that besides the odd barn raising, life isn't really all that hectic around their parts. I bet they sleep better than I do too.
I think I need some time for me. I haven't really had much of it since I got back from Toronto. Any time I do get seems to be taken up by much needed sleep. I think I need a day or two of wandering around, and It's likely that I need to see some friends. For the first time in my life, all my close friends are scattered across the universe, and I am here away from them all. I'm just feeling a little lonely.
Maybe a trip to the museum would help. Feeding my brain usually helps. The physical manifestations of other people's thought, ideas, and feelings tend to ground me a little. It really doesn't matter if it's a sculpture, or a painting, or some dusty artifact, there's something about them that connects me to myself. I'm at a loss to explain why, it just does.
Maybe I look to the past for inspiration. Seeing the ingenuity of people from ancient cultures might very well be what entices me. Perhaps that requires further investigation.
I'd like to get good and stinking drunk too, but that is less likely to occur due to the new dietary restrictions.
Anyway I think I'm tired enough to crash.
End of Transmission
Thursday, April 07, 2005
04/07/05 Wow what a shit show...
Damn, I can't sleep again tonight. I wish I could just shut my brain off. Over the years I've tried just about everything, and nothing seems to work. I'm beginning to think the only solution would be a rubber mallet right between the eyes.
Next…
Tonight's show should best be described as a piece of shit. The audience was terrible. I watched the MC, and Matt Billon go down in flames. For some reason, I knew that this show was going to suck ass. My set really didn't help matters much. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a whopping fuck all… and that folks is being generous.
It amazes me how people can come to a comedy show and sit there like bored pieces of shit. I always want to ask them why they came. They just sat there, blinking, occasionally looking as if they just might have pooped their pants. Fuckers… It got so bad that at on point I told the audience, (all 100 plus…) that I would love to meet them outside. I let them know that I was willing to fight them all. Sadly, I meant every word.
It's really frustrating when you bomb, and you know it's not your fault, but how do convince that many people that it's theirs? Now I know why Bruce Cockburn wanted a rocket launcher, because those people must pay.
Okay… perhaps I've gone too far, and besides some things really are better left to my imagination. (Or at least to my inner monologue…)
At least I tried a new joke, and the mangina joke worked again, but it still needs to be streamlined. It's got a lot of promise, but there's too much fat. I have a new joke about the pope's passing too, but I deiced not to waste it on a crappy crowd.
Next…
I worked out today. I spent 40 minutes on the exercise bike. I had a really good sweat going too. Hopefully all this cardio is doing some good. I can't wait to be all lean and trim. Mostly though, I'm excited at the prospect of being able to climb a couple of flights of stairs without being winded.
Next…
Tonight's show should best be described as a piece of shit. The audience was terrible. I watched the MC, and Matt Billon go down in flames. For some reason, I knew that this show was going to suck ass. My set really didn't help matters much. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a whopping fuck all… and that folks is being generous.
It amazes me how people can come to a comedy show and sit there like bored pieces of shit. I always want to ask them why they came. They just sat there, blinking, occasionally looking as if they just might have pooped their pants. Fuckers… It got so bad that at on point I told the audience, (all 100 plus…) that I would love to meet them outside. I let them know that I was willing to fight them all. Sadly, I meant every word.
It's really frustrating when you bomb, and you know it's not your fault, but how do convince that many people that it's theirs? Now I know why Bruce Cockburn wanted a rocket launcher, because those people must pay.
Okay… perhaps I've gone too far, and besides some things really are better left to my imagination. (Or at least to my inner monologue…)
At least I tried a new joke, and the mangina joke worked again, but it still needs to be streamlined. It's got a lot of promise, but there's too much fat. I have a new joke about the pope's passing too, but I deiced not to waste it on a crappy crowd.
Next…
I worked out today. I spent 40 minutes on the exercise bike. I had a really good sweat going too. Hopefully all this cardio is doing some good. I can't wait to be all lean and trim. Mostly though, I'm excited at the prospect of being able to climb a couple of flights of stairs without being winded.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
04/05/05
After much nagging by my friends, and even more gnashing of my own teeth, I finally cracked. I watched Jerry Seinfeld's Comedian. I have to admit, against my own natural prejudice I enjoyed it. (I have never been a fan of Seinfeld.)
It is refreshing to see someone of that caliber in the same boat as other comics. Mind you, Seinfeld has the luxury of getting stage time whenever he wants. Not that watching him develop a new act in such a short amount of time isn't impressive, but he has the cult of personality on his side, and I suspect that audiences forgive him more quickly than they would me.
Seeing him interact with his peer group was interesting too. It reminded me of my own cadre of misfits. I guess that comics function in cells, and my cell really isn't that different. I'd like to see a documentary about us one day. Looking back at our development would be just as interesting, perhaps more so.
The best part of the documentary was watching the misery that is Orny Adams. He came off like a freight train loaded for bare, and ready to go screaming off the rails. He did not disappoint. Watching someone drown while remaining buoyant is just about as curious a thing as I can think of.
He's a fascinating mix of foolish bravado and self-loathing. Take a dash of Pachino's attitude, and add a whole lot of Woody Allen. (Just subtract the same level of talent, the geeky glasses and the Vietnamese daughter / wife…) Watching him succeed, and then implode moments later, with even more impressive grandeur is a masochist's wet dream.
I think it's neat when people fuck themselves in public, because the fireworks are always splendid. Rubber necking to get a gawk at a grisly scene like that is a treat indeed.
I shouldn't revel in someone else's misery. It's not fair of me. Fuck it… It's just too much fun. It's like a spoonful of the best honey.
On to other things…
I have started on a new health plan. I'm working out, and have adopted the Weight Watchers point system. I need to shake the weight I've gained over the last 3 years. I'm feeling very positive about these changes. I've committed myself to them, and will not stop until I have achieved success. I've heard that part of having a sound mind, is having a sound body, so a change was needed.
Over the years, I've added and shed weight like Oprah Winfrey. I'm committed to slimming down and staying that way. I've gotten tired of people telling me that I look like Drew Carey. Fuck that… (Especially when followed by “not in that way… ” Because you total mean that way, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to qualify it…)
And for those of you that have said that to me over the years, I have just one thing to say… EAT ME you evil fuckers!!! Not once have I ever told anyone of you that you just might be the dumbest fucking people on earth. (Right next to Pammy Anderson in the stupidity gene pool…) If this offends you… Good… Right back at you bitches. If there's an after life, I'm going to be waiting… and you're gonna get a kick in the collective junk. For the record, I don't care if I get a few “bad karma” points in the process. To quote Eddie Izzard, “Personally I think you are all a bunch of bastards.”
Wow, I'm angrier about that than I thought.
It is refreshing to see someone of that caliber in the same boat as other comics. Mind you, Seinfeld has the luxury of getting stage time whenever he wants. Not that watching him develop a new act in such a short amount of time isn't impressive, but he has the cult of personality on his side, and I suspect that audiences forgive him more quickly than they would me.
Seeing him interact with his peer group was interesting too. It reminded me of my own cadre of misfits. I guess that comics function in cells, and my cell really isn't that different. I'd like to see a documentary about us one day. Looking back at our development would be just as interesting, perhaps more so.
The best part of the documentary was watching the misery that is Orny Adams. He came off like a freight train loaded for bare, and ready to go screaming off the rails. He did not disappoint. Watching someone drown while remaining buoyant is just about as curious a thing as I can think of.
He's a fascinating mix of foolish bravado and self-loathing. Take a dash of Pachino's attitude, and add a whole lot of Woody Allen. (Just subtract the same level of talent, the geeky glasses and the Vietnamese daughter / wife…) Watching him succeed, and then implode moments later, with even more impressive grandeur is a masochist's wet dream.
I think it's neat when people fuck themselves in public, because the fireworks are always splendid. Rubber necking to get a gawk at a grisly scene like that is a treat indeed.
I shouldn't revel in someone else's misery. It's not fair of me. Fuck it… It's just too much fun. It's like a spoonful of the best honey.
On to other things…
I have started on a new health plan. I'm working out, and have adopted the Weight Watchers point system. I need to shake the weight I've gained over the last 3 years. I'm feeling very positive about these changes. I've committed myself to them, and will not stop until I have achieved success. I've heard that part of having a sound mind, is having a sound body, so a change was needed.
Over the years, I've added and shed weight like Oprah Winfrey. I'm committed to slimming down and staying that way. I've gotten tired of people telling me that I look like Drew Carey. Fuck that… (Especially when followed by “not in that way… ” Because you total mean that way, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to qualify it…)
And for those of you that have said that to me over the years, I have just one thing to say… EAT ME you evil fuckers!!! Not once have I ever told anyone of you that you just might be the dumbest fucking people on earth. (Right next to Pammy Anderson in the stupidity gene pool…) If this offends you… Good… Right back at you bitches. If there's an after life, I'm going to be waiting… and you're gonna get a kick in the collective junk. For the record, I don't care if I get a few “bad karma” points in the process. To quote Eddie Izzard, “Personally I think you are all a bunch of bastards.”
Wow, I'm angrier about that than I thought.
04/05/05 The Pope and Mitch... a Buddy flick...
Well it's been a few days since I've written a post, and it seems like the world has been turned upside down. Terry Schaivo dies, the Pope dies, and Mitch Hedberg dies. They (Whoever the fuck “They” are... perhaps it's the fates speaking through our collective conscious, or a wheel of psycho bullshit that spins in the back of our heads, strapped to our ID by the underpinning of hearsay and diminished capacity.) say that bad news happens in threes.
It has been a week of reflection. The leader of the faith that I was born into, who was revered as the voice of God on earth by more than a billion people faded away, his the mortal coil extinguished from existence in the most passive of ways. People from every country on the earth mourn, and truthfully I'm not sure that I care.
Was Pope John Paul the second a good man? I think so, but I disagreed with so much that he stood for. Perhaps that's okay. Did I respect him as the leader of a faith that I find I have little in common with? I'm not sure. Maybe I'll never know, maybe as I get older, my interests will change, and I'll give it further reflection.
The death of Mitch Hedberg was more shaking to me. I think it's likely because we live in the same kind of place. The same pressures he lived under surround me. I have lesser demons than his that scourge me, but at least I am able to understand. He was the macrocosm to my current microcosm.
On to other stuff…
My boss at the day job gave me a cd today. It's pretty damn fantastic. For those of you that like smoky, torchy jazz, you will really dig this album.
Madeline Peyroux - Careless Love
Anyway tomorrow is a full day, and I need some sleep. For those of you that foolishly want see me live, you should go to Yuk Yuks this Wednesday. The show starts at 8pm sharp.
End of Transmission…
It has been a week of reflection. The leader of the faith that I was born into, who was revered as the voice of God on earth by more than a billion people faded away, his the mortal coil extinguished from existence in the most passive of ways. People from every country on the earth mourn, and truthfully I'm not sure that I care.
Was Pope John Paul the second a good man? I think so, but I disagreed with so much that he stood for. Perhaps that's okay. Did I respect him as the leader of a faith that I find I have little in common with? I'm not sure. Maybe I'll never know, maybe as I get older, my interests will change, and I'll give it further reflection.
The death of Mitch Hedberg was more shaking to me. I think it's likely because we live in the same kind of place. The same pressures he lived under surround me. I have lesser demons than his that scourge me, but at least I am able to understand. He was the macrocosm to my current microcosm.
On to other stuff…
My boss at the day job gave me a cd today. It's pretty damn fantastic. For those of you that like smoky, torchy jazz, you will really dig this album.
Madeline Peyroux - Careless Love
Anyway tomorrow is a full day, and I need some sleep. For those of you that foolishly want see me live, you should go to Yuk Yuks this Wednesday. The show starts at 8pm sharp.
End of Transmission…
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
03/30/05 We are all full of Rock Stars...
My April dates have changed a little. I am no longer going to be the MC next weekend. I have been moved to the following weekend, and will be the “middle guy”… I think that's a good idea actually. I need to make a decent promo video, and that will allow me to take 5 cracks at it. I should be able to come up with something worthwhile given that many opportunities.
I'm excited to play the club with more freedom and time to stretch out on stage. It's been a long time since I had the chance to really get into the mix of it all. The last while it's been nothing but 5 -15 minute sets, and I'm chomping at the bit to take my time with material, especially the newer stuff.
Other stuff…
As you may have read in previous posts, I have kidding around about being a rock star. But in some ways I think that the cult of personality makes us all rock stars. I've met some pretty cool people in my life thus far, and most of them are rock stars in their own way. The moments that make us shine equate with being a rock star. When we realize our goals, big and small, we are rock stars. It's not about glory; it's about being a successful human being. The moment we gain the strength of conviction, or the confidence in our skin, we supercede the average, and become rock stars.
I'm been feeling much more productive in the last couple of months. (More than I have in the last couple of years…) I am beginning to understand why I spiraled out. I needed to find my way back, on my own terms. I got frustrated, and everything I tried to do just made the whole thing worse. I couldn't see my goals with any clarity. I have managed to claw my way back, and damn it; I'm a better man for it. I guess luck decided to play on my team for a while.
I owe a debt of gratitude to all the people who stood beside me. Thank you Denise, Brett, Peter, Shane, Daniel, and Especially Erin. Without her, I would have gone mad. (I'm sure I'm forgetting more people, but they know who they are, and I just want to say thanks…)
You have all helped me so much; I hope that I can return the favor someday. You got me through a lot, and got me to this point. You are all rock stars.
I am now a rock star too.
I'm excited to play the club with more freedom and time to stretch out on stage. It's been a long time since I had the chance to really get into the mix of it all. The last while it's been nothing but 5 -15 minute sets, and I'm chomping at the bit to take my time with material, especially the newer stuff.
Other stuff…
As you may have read in previous posts, I have kidding around about being a rock star. But in some ways I think that the cult of personality makes us all rock stars. I've met some pretty cool people in my life thus far, and most of them are rock stars in their own way. The moments that make us shine equate with being a rock star. When we realize our goals, big and small, we are rock stars. It's not about glory; it's about being a successful human being. The moment we gain the strength of conviction, or the confidence in our skin, we supercede the average, and become rock stars.
I'm been feeling much more productive in the last couple of months. (More than I have in the last couple of years…) I am beginning to understand why I spiraled out. I needed to find my way back, on my own terms. I got frustrated, and everything I tried to do just made the whole thing worse. I couldn't see my goals with any clarity. I have managed to claw my way back, and damn it; I'm a better man for it. I guess luck decided to play on my team for a while.
I owe a debt of gratitude to all the people who stood beside me. Thank you Denise, Brett, Peter, Shane, Daniel, and Especially Erin. Without her, I would have gone mad. (I'm sure I'm forgetting more people, but they know who they are, and I just want to say thanks…)
You have all helped me so much; I hope that I can return the favor someday. You got me through a lot, and got me to this point. You are all rock stars.
I am now a rock star too.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Logo
oldbc3
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This is a logo idea I have been playing around with. I think it might make a smashing T-shirt one day.
Stand Up Land...
shaun3
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This is an older picture. I stole it from Peter's website. it was taken at Yuk Yuk's in Calgary about a million years ago. From the left: Peter Anthony, Eric the doorman, Sean Majumder, and me...
03/29/05
My friend Brett, dear readers is like a brother to me, he jotted down a few things in his blog that he'd like to do and see. I thought it was a neat idea, so I decided to do the same.
I'd like to visit a plant where they make cars. Ever since I was a kid, factories have fascinated me. I have never been in one. I'd like to check it out.
I really want to go to Israel. I want to see the birthplace of humanity's major religions. I think that might hold a key to me understanding my beliefs.
I want to go on a “Ride Along” with the police. I think spending a night with police in a positive way might be somewhat illuminating. Hopefully they will let me play with the siren, and give me a bulletproof vest to wear. (And maybe a can of pepper spray, so I can take down a “perp” or blind my self… The latter is the more likely of the two…)
I want to ride every roller coaster in the world. Maybe I can get some Internet gambling company to sponsor me; we could turn it into a media shit show. (I'd be a God to young boys everywhere…)
It would be neat to go and see those giant radar dishes that you always see in Sci-Fi movies. I just think they are very cool. I haven't the faintest clue where they are. Well besides being in the United States.
It would be great to see Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow in a no holes barred fight to the death. Whoever wins gets to decide the fate of the National Hockey League. (Yes I meant to say “holes”…)
I'd like to spend a drunken weekend with my friends in a seedy bar, in some country where we are referred to only as “Gringos.” I'd make Brett eat the worm outta the bottle of Tequila. I'd then try to inspire Daniel into talking Brett down. That would be hours of entertainment. It wouldn't be pretty, but it sure would be fun. It's likely that Peter would spend most of the time in a ditch, trying to start arguments with other tourists (not to mention indigenous animals, great and small.) Happily, he'd forget, and we'd all laugh about it later… (Damn, that's got screenplay written all over it. Fuck You Caddyshack…)
I want to go to Europe. I need to see France, Germany, Ireland, and a host of other places. It would be useful to get a better sense of my family tree. I need to see where my ancestors lived, and where they worked. I want to see the things they saw.
Well that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more as time goes by.
End of Transmission
I'd like to visit a plant where they make cars. Ever since I was a kid, factories have fascinated me. I have never been in one. I'd like to check it out.
I really want to go to Israel. I want to see the birthplace of humanity's major religions. I think that might hold a key to me understanding my beliefs.
I want to go on a “Ride Along” with the police. I think spending a night with police in a positive way might be somewhat illuminating. Hopefully they will let me play with the siren, and give me a bulletproof vest to wear. (And maybe a can of pepper spray, so I can take down a “perp” or blind my self… The latter is the more likely of the two…)
I want to ride every roller coaster in the world. Maybe I can get some Internet gambling company to sponsor me; we could turn it into a media shit show. (I'd be a God to young boys everywhere…)
It would be neat to go and see those giant radar dishes that you always see in Sci-Fi movies. I just think they are very cool. I haven't the faintest clue where they are. Well besides being in the United States.
It would be great to see Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow in a no holes barred fight to the death. Whoever wins gets to decide the fate of the National Hockey League. (Yes I meant to say “holes”…)
I'd like to spend a drunken weekend with my friends in a seedy bar, in some country where we are referred to only as “Gringos.” I'd make Brett eat the worm outta the bottle of Tequila. I'd then try to inspire Daniel into talking Brett down. That would be hours of entertainment. It wouldn't be pretty, but it sure would be fun. It's likely that Peter would spend most of the time in a ditch, trying to start arguments with other tourists (not to mention indigenous animals, great and small.) Happily, he'd forget, and we'd all laugh about it later… (Damn, that's got screenplay written all over it. Fuck You Caddyshack…)
I want to go to Europe. I need to see France, Germany, Ireland, and a host of other places. It would be useful to get a better sense of my family tree. I need to see where my ancestors lived, and where they worked. I want to see the things they saw.
Well that's it for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more as time goes by.
End of Transmission
Saturday, March 26, 2005
03/26/05 Some stuff about me...
New things about me…
1) I live on the outskirts of Downtown, It also happens to be near the hip “Red Mile” which is the popular bar strip. The problem with this is that my neigbourhood is over run by smashed fuckers who feel the need to howl at the moon all night. Not to mention the property destruction and the needless fights. I often wish I had a flamethrower, esp. at about 4am on any given weekend night.
2) I still hate hippies.
3) I desperately need to shave. I hate shaving.
4) I believe that Terry Schivo is in a pickle. I think her husband is a shit head, but I also think her family is fucked. It's too bad that CNN has decided to make this the hot button issue of the week. It's too private a situation, and needs sober second thought, not
a media circus. Hopefully she'll find peace, and the media can get back to crucifying Michael Jackson.
5) I was raised a catholic, but I'm recovering nicely…
6) I get angry about stuff… Usually the dumbest, smallest stuff on the planet. The big stuff never fazes me. My friend Brett suggested I reverse it. I don't know how.
7) I would like to be a prophet. I should look into that one day.
8) I like chocolate cake.
9) I love hot chicken wings.
10) I'm allergic to seafood.
11) I read comic books. I think they are the modern mythology. They are definitive stories of right vs. wrong.
12) I hate Dido… and on a related topic, I hate Eminem too.
13) I want to hunt down the authors of the “Left Behind” book series. Thanks for scaring the shit out of evangelical Christians, it's not as if they weren't a little too jumpy already.
1) I live on the outskirts of Downtown, It also happens to be near the hip “Red Mile” which is the popular bar strip. The problem with this is that my neigbourhood is over run by smashed fuckers who feel the need to howl at the moon all night. Not to mention the property destruction and the needless fights. I often wish I had a flamethrower, esp. at about 4am on any given weekend night.
2) I still hate hippies.
3) I desperately need to shave. I hate shaving.
4) I believe that Terry Schivo is in a pickle. I think her husband is a shit head, but I also think her family is fucked. It's too bad that CNN has decided to make this the hot button issue of the week. It's too private a situation, and needs sober second thought, not
a media circus. Hopefully she'll find peace, and the media can get back to crucifying Michael Jackson.
5) I was raised a catholic, but I'm recovering nicely…
6) I get angry about stuff… Usually the dumbest, smallest stuff on the planet. The big stuff never fazes me. My friend Brett suggested I reverse it. I don't know how.
7) I would like to be a prophet. I should look into that one day.
8) I like chocolate cake.
9) I love hot chicken wings.
10) I'm allergic to seafood.
11) I read comic books. I think they are the modern mythology. They are definitive stories of right vs. wrong.
12) I hate Dido… and on a related topic, I hate Eminem too.
13) I want to hunt down the authors of the “Left Behind” book series. Thanks for scaring the shit out of evangelical Christians, it's not as if they weren't a little too jumpy already.
03/26/05 A couple more good quotes...
Some more really good quotes;
“Terrorism is the ultimate spectacle for a tired jaded populace.” - Don Delillo
“The US invasion of Iraq has killed an estimated 100,000 people, over 50 percent are women and children. Yet, it's the videos of pleading Western hostages we'll remember, because the victims resemble us.” - James Carroll
“Terrorism is the ultimate spectacle for a tired jaded populace.” - Don Delillo
“The US invasion of Iraq has killed an estimated 100,000 people, over 50 percent are women and children. Yet, it's the videos of pleading Western hostages we'll remember, because the victims resemble us.” - James Carroll
03/26/05 Just some Quotes I like...
I just read my friend Daniel's blog. He had some good quotes on there. i decided to put a few that I like here.
"I have a new life goal: get drunk enough to see the devil, take a few good pictures, sell them on eBay, become rich." - Jake Brigham
"It occurred to me that there was no difference between men, in intelligence or race, so profound as the difference between the sick and the well." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
"We have a political system that awards office to the most ruthless, cunning, and selfish of mortals, then act surprised when those willing to do anything to win power are equally willing to do anything with it." -Michael Rivero
"I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great." - Ray Charles
"This is the way the world ends; not with a bang, but a whimper." - T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Men
"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." - Frederick Buechner
"Now, now my good man. This is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (1694-1778) - On his deathbed, after a priest asked that he renounce Satan
"I have a new life goal: get drunk enough to see the devil, take a few good pictures, sell them on eBay, become rich." - Jake Brigham
"It occurred to me that there was no difference between men, in intelligence or race, so profound as the difference between the sick and the well." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
"We have a political system that awards office to the most ruthless, cunning, and selfish of mortals, then act surprised when those willing to do anything to win power are equally willing to do anything with it." -Michael Rivero
"I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great." - Ray Charles
"This is the way the world ends; not with a bang, but a whimper." - T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Men
"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." - Frederick Buechner
"Now, now my good man. This is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (1694-1778) - On his deathbed, after a priest asked that he renounce Satan
03/25/05 Slacking off on a Good Friday...
It's late, and I should be in bed. Instead, I'm sitting in front of this damn computer again. The cursor is flashing at me impatiently, almost like a neglected pet waiting to be fed. I had a nice quiet evening with Erin. We flaked out on the couch, and watched a couple of movies. It was nice. I like curling up with her at night, there's a sanity to it that grounds me.
I've got my headphones on so I can contain the wailing guitars that I find are a requirement when writing. Tonight's choice is the Doughboys - Home Again. It's a classic power pop record and one of my all time favorites for sure. It's the one I like to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic. Back in my campus radio days a song from this album got spun at least once a show.
I finally finished flicking through this months copy of Adbusters. The content is getting a little more focused than it used to be. It's nice to see that it's starting to get away from the sophomoric blather, and getting into the serious business of culture jamming.
Right now they have a cool little side business going. The magazine has started an anti-corporation. They are selling ethically made sneakers with no logo, (other than a blank white spot…) and have started up a record label that helps artists rather than fuck them and then rob them blind. Apparently they have a store opening up in Vancouver where you can buy ethically made and fairly traded goods. It's a great idea, and I wish them nothing but the greatest success.
Cooler still, with the purchase of a pair of sneakers, you get a share in the company. You get to be a shareholder. That's fantastic. I can't imagine Phil Knight at Nike surrendering shares with every purchase. His head would explode.
My insomnia is back with a vengeance. It's as if my conscious hates me. I need sleep; yet, it pretty much just tells me to “Go fuck myself…” Otherwise I'm okay. I am in a bit of a creative spurt. None of the new jokes I've written are clever, but they sure are fun, and a whole lot more blue than I have ever been. It's kind of liberating. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun as a comic. It's been a while. The Toronto excursion has proved to be more fruitful than I had expected.
The Rock Star attitude has finally started to fade, which is good for my soul. Now I get to knuckle down and become something stronger. What that is, I'm not too sure, but I'll know it as it begins to take its desired shape.
I'm doing two guest spots tomorrow night. I can't wait. I've been itching to get on stage for a few days now. I get out of sorts if I haven't been on in a while. It's like a drug, but it's not the adrenaline rush, or the laugher and applause that get me excited. It's the total freedom. The time that I spend on stage is mine, and no one else's. It belongs to me.
I've got my headphones on so I can contain the wailing guitars that I find are a requirement when writing. Tonight's choice is the Doughboys - Home Again. It's a classic power pop record and one of my all time favorites for sure. It's the one I like to listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic. Back in my campus radio days a song from this album got spun at least once a show.
I finally finished flicking through this months copy of Adbusters. The content is getting a little more focused than it used to be. It's nice to see that it's starting to get away from the sophomoric blather, and getting into the serious business of culture jamming.
Right now they have a cool little side business going. The magazine has started an anti-corporation. They are selling ethically made sneakers with no logo, (other than a blank white spot…) and have started up a record label that helps artists rather than fuck them and then rob them blind. Apparently they have a store opening up in Vancouver where you can buy ethically made and fairly traded goods. It's a great idea, and I wish them nothing but the greatest success.
Cooler still, with the purchase of a pair of sneakers, you get a share in the company. You get to be a shareholder. That's fantastic. I can't imagine Phil Knight at Nike surrendering shares with every purchase. His head would explode.
My insomnia is back with a vengeance. It's as if my conscious hates me. I need sleep; yet, it pretty much just tells me to “Go fuck myself…” Otherwise I'm okay. I am in a bit of a creative spurt. None of the new jokes I've written are clever, but they sure are fun, and a whole lot more blue than I have ever been. It's kind of liberating. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun as a comic. It's been a while. The Toronto excursion has proved to be more fruitful than I had expected.
The Rock Star attitude has finally started to fade, which is good for my soul. Now I get to knuckle down and become something stronger. What that is, I'm not too sure, but I'll know it as it begins to take its desired shape.
I'm doing two guest spots tomorrow night. I can't wait. I've been itching to get on stage for a few days now. I get out of sorts if I haven't been on in a while. It's like a drug, but it's not the adrenaline rush, or the laugher and applause that get me excited. It's the total freedom. The time that I spend on stage is mine, and no one else's. It belongs to me.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Ad Men!
ad
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
I snagged this from the Adbusters website. You should go there.
http://adbusters.org/home/
03/24/05 I think we should bring back the guillotine...
I'm tired of having spokespeople tell me how I should live my life. I don't need anyone to tell me what kind of toothpaste I want, or what soda I should drink. It strikes me that if Jesus Christ came back tomorrow morning, by noon, some shit bag ad exec would be all over him to sign with Budweiser or eBay, or some other organization willing to smear their corporate manure anywhere and everywhere. Imagine…
Jesus: God loves you. Drink Bud…
Announcer: The Prince of Peace loves The King of Beers…
Or perhaps…
Woman: Hey Jesus, I just can't get my teeth white… What should I do?
Jesus: Try new Crest Winterfresh… It's guaranteed to whiten your teeth in just 14 days.
Woman: Thanks Jesus, You saved me… from a life of yellow teeth I mean… Not that I…err… you know…. Praise Jesus!!!
Jesus: Testify sister (Smiles, showing his gleaming white teeth…)
Everywhere we go we are faced with more and more advertising. Is not left sacred?
Before a movie now, there are a good 15 minutes of shitty ads, and that's before the trailers. The gate price, and the price of concessions isn't enough… Nope they need to subject us to forced marketing. If I have to sit through it, they should be letting me in for free. Once I asked to see the manager of the cinema about it. He just smirked at me. I felt like punching him in his big fat nose. I hate being taken for a ride.
I didn't spend my hard earned money on a ticket so I could sit in the dark, and be bombarded. It makes me feel like I'm in A Clockwork Orange. The only thing missing are the clips to keep my eyelids open. Now I understand why that movie is so very violent.
If there is a just and merciful God, please let there be no more Brittney Spears commercials ever again. End the P Diddy ads, nix Jennifer Lopez, and set those home restoration people in Atlanta on fire. And while we're at it, could you stop Fox from calling themselves “Fair and Balanced” (Well… it's a lie… a big one… and they advertise it 24 hours a day…)
There has got to be a time when enough is enough. Just once I'd like to go to an event that has no advertising. No radio stations, no beer companies, just good entertainment. Sponsorship may have its place. Just not anywhere near me.
I might be a little more receptive if people asked me if I'd be willing to review their materials. Not once has this ever happened. I feel violated by marketing.
Jesus: God loves you. Drink Bud…
Announcer: The Prince of Peace loves The King of Beers…
Or perhaps…
Woman: Hey Jesus, I just can't get my teeth white… What should I do?
Jesus: Try new Crest Winterfresh… It's guaranteed to whiten your teeth in just 14 days.
Woman: Thanks Jesus, You saved me… from a life of yellow teeth I mean… Not that I…err… you know…. Praise Jesus!!!
Jesus: Testify sister (Smiles, showing his gleaming white teeth…)
Everywhere we go we are faced with more and more advertising. Is not left sacred?
Before a movie now, there are a good 15 minutes of shitty ads, and that's before the trailers. The gate price, and the price of concessions isn't enough… Nope they need to subject us to forced marketing. If I have to sit through it, they should be letting me in for free. Once I asked to see the manager of the cinema about it. He just smirked at me. I felt like punching him in his big fat nose. I hate being taken for a ride.
I didn't spend my hard earned money on a ticket so I could sit in the dark, and be bombarded. It makes me feel like I'm in A Clockwork Orange. The only thing missing are the clips to keep my eyelids open. Now I understand why that movie is so very violent.
If there is a just and merciful God, please let there be no more Brittney Spears commercials ever again. End the P Diddy ads, nix Jennifer Lopez, and set those home restoration people in Atlanta on fire. And while we're at it, could you stop Fox from calling themselves “Fair and Balanced” (Well… it's a lie… a big one… and they advertise it 24 hours a day…)
There has got to be a time when enough is enough. Just once I'd like to go to an event that has no advertising. No radio stations, no beer companies, just good entertainment. Sponsorship may have its place. Just not anywhere near me.
I might be a little more receptive if people asked me if I'd be willing to review their materials. Not once has this ever happened. I feel violated by marketing.
Monday, March 21, 2005
03/21/05 An email quiz...
Welcome to the March 2005 edition of getting to know Marcus.
1. What time did you get up this morning? I didn't… it was like noon.
2. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Million Dollar Baby.
3. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? I have two. The first is the new Battlestar Galactica, and the second is Arrested Development.
4. What did you have for breakfast? A coffee, hot and black.
5. What is your middle name? Charles Francis David
6. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian. Fettuccine Tuto Gusto is my favorite dish.
7. What do you dislike? The list is too long to even attempt to address. If you read older blog entries, you'll get some idea.
8. What is your favorite chip flavour? Salt and Vinegar
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site
10. What kind of car do you drive? None.
11. Favorite sandwich? Good old-fashioned ham and cheese
12. What characteristic do you despise? Sulking. I fucking hate that.
13. Favorite item of clothing? Currently, it's a charcoal grey thermal shirt.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Somewhere that's not too hot, with monkeys. I would become their king.
15. What colour is your bathroom? Off-white
16. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one.
17. Where would you retire? Probably on the Southern shore, in Newfoundland.
18. Favorite time of the day? 2am
19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 30th. I met Cuba Gooding jr. and the Toronto Maple leafs. I was also given a hatchet.
20. Where were you born? Calgary, Alberta
21. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
22. What fabric detergent do you use? Bio-Vert because Erin insists on it.
23. Coke or Pepsi? Royal Crown Cola.
24. Are you a morning person or a night? Night
25. What is your shoe size? 11
26. Do you have any pets? Not currently.
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A bigger me.
1. What time did you get up this morning? I didn't… it was like noon.
2. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Million Dollar Baby.
3. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? I have two. The first is the new Battlestar Galactica, and the second is Arrested Development.
4. What did you have for breakfast? A coffee, hot and black.
5. What is your middle name? Charles Francis David
6. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian. Fettuccine Tuto Gusto is my favorite dish.
7. What do you dislike? The list is too long to even attempt to address. If you read older blog entries, you'll get some idea.
8. What is your favorite chip flavour? Salt and Vinegar
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site
10. What kind of car do you drive? None.
11. Favorite sandwich? Good old-fashioned ham and cheese
12. What characteristic do you despise? Sulking. I fucking hate that.
13. Favorite item of clothing? Currently, it's a charcoal grey thermal shirt.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Somewhere that's not too hot, with monkeys. I would become their king.
15. What colour is your bathroom? Off-white
16. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one.
17. Where would you retire? Probably on the Southern shore, in Newfoundland.
18. Favorite time of the day? 2am
19. What was your most memorable birthday? My 30th. I met Cuba Gooding jr. and the Toronto Maple leafs. I was also given a hatchet.
20. Where were you born? Calgary, Alberta
21. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
22. What fabric detergent do you use? Bio-Vert because Erin insists on it.
23. Coke or Pepsi? Royal Crown Cola.
24. Are you a morning person or a night? Night
25. What is your shoe size? 11
26. Do you have any pets? Not currently.
27. What did you want to be when you were little? A bigger me.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
03/20/05 The Great Angry Rooster fight
I am getting sick in the heart. Not in a literal sense, but I do feel sad. Last night I hooked up with Brett, and we went to the Ship and Anchor for a pint. From our vantage point we noticed a vicious street fight. It was like watching two lesser apes smack their chests for some sort of brood dominance, but without any sense of priority.
It makes me sick to watch. But in a very dark way, I kind of wished that they would have finished each other off. Society would be down two alpha males, and the gene pool would be that much richer for it. I have never been aggressive that way, even in those moments when I'm smashed out of my gourd. I tend to go the other way, happy go lucky, and brutally frank, but happy nonetheless.
I have never seen the need to lay fists on someone else. I've wanted to, but have always restrained these primal pressures, because I know they solve nothing. I have nothing to prove by bashing the shit out of someone, and I fail to comprehend the people who do.
What possesses a person to lose that kind of control? I'm keenly aware that alcohol plays big a part, but all it really does is open the door, it still takes the wanton desire to walk through it and take that first swing. I'd like to say it's an intelligence issue, but sadly I know it is not. Perhaps there are some external pressures that exert influence, like social and “eco-demonic” forces that drive someone to lash out at even the most miniscule of circumstances.
Maybe, the rap counter culture that has arisen in teenager land shares some of the responsibility, although I am not convinced. Regardless of the culture of violence, that hip-hop has been constantly demonized for; it still takes a willing participant to perpetuate it.
Statistics aside, it seems as if violent behavior is on the rise. Calgary has had a lot of problems with violence in the nightclub scene lately. There is an obvious seething undercurrent here and it's starting to boil over. Two murders, a stabbing, and numerous fights have thrust the issue into the spotlight over last few months. The police appear to have been caught with their pants down, and have been very slow to react to concerns about public safety.
I think the reason why this kind of shit crushes me is because I have hope. I desperately want people to rise above petty nonsense and work towards a greater good. Imagine if all that aggressive energy gave us something positive. What a wonderful world this would be. Instead we get bar fights and macho insecurity.
Perhaps I should give up. Forget to care that things are burning down around us. It would be much simpler that way. If only I could.
The way I see it, someone has to care. Once we all give up, the gig is over.
It makes me sick to watch. But in a very dark way, I kind of wished that they would have finished each other off. Society would be down two alpha males, and the gene pool would be that much richer for it. I have never been aggressive that way, even in those moments when I'm smashed out of my gourd. I tend to go the other way, happy go lucky, and brutally frank, but happy nonetheless.
I have never seen the need to lay fists on someone else. I've wanted to, but have always restrained these primal pressures, because I know they solve nothing. I have nothing to prove by bashing the shit out of someone, and I fail to comprehend the people who do.
What possesses a person to lose that kind of control? I'm keenly aware that alcohol plays big a part, but all it really does is open the door, it still takes the wanton desire to walk through it and take that first swing. I'd like to say it's an intelligence issue, but sadly I know it is not. Perhaps there are some external pressures that exert influence, like social and “eco-demonic” forces that drive someone to lash out at even the most miniscule of circumstances.
Maybe, the rap counter culture that has arisen in teenager land shares some of the responsibility, although I am not convinced. Regardless of the culture of violence, that hip-hop has been constantly demonized for; it still takes a willing participant to perpetuate it.
Statistics aside, it seems as if violent behavior is on the rise. Calgary has had a lot of problems with violence in the nightclub scene lately. There is an obvious seething undercurrent here and it's starting to boil over. Two murders, a stabbing, and numerous fights have thrust the issue into the spotlight over last few months. The police appear to have been caught with their pants down, and have been very slow to react to concerns about public safety.
I think the reason why this kind of shit crushes me is because I have hope. I desperately want people to rise above petty nonsense and work towards a greater good. Imagine if all that aggressive energy gave us something positive. What a wonderful world this would be. Instead we get bar fights and macho insecurity.
Perhaps I should give up. Forget to care that things are burning down around us. It would be much simpler that way. If only I could.
The way I see it, someone has to care. Once we all give up, the gig is over.
Friday, March 18, 2005
03/18/05 I Can Jump Higher Than You Can...
My favorite people in the universe have always been the ones who were never afraid to stomp all over conventional thinking. The kind of people that stepped outside the box, and made that great leap into the unknown. These pathfinders, as I like to call them, were (and still are…) branded as crackpots, and chided for even conceiving of their triumphs.
I give to you as an example; The Wright Brothers, who were thought to be insane, and ahem… flew in the face of convention. The newspapers at the time declared Man would never fly. Then on that fateful day in Kitty Hawk, man soared with the birds for the first time. I believe Wilbur Wright's first words were “Fuck You William Randolph Hearst…” Alright probably not… But I bet he was thinking it!
Now with all that being said, there are still many occasions where people who think they're visionaries don't actually think in a non-conventional way or even in a rational way for that matter. These people are insane. The best example I can provide here is Bush's plan to create a missile defense system over “Fortress North America.” It's not only a waste of an incredible amount of money, but its likelihood of success is less than marginal at best. You'd be better off covering the continent with a giant trampoline. Not only would it provide “protection,” but you could also sell tickets, and treat it like the world's biggest amusement. As we all know, everyone loves a trampoline… (Now that would be visionary…)
Innovation comes from thinking outside of the box that society makes for us. We live in a world that is aching for a really big change. It's time for us as a race to start thinking outside of the box again. Maybe it's time to look at what's not working around here, and make some changes. North America is currently being run by people who don't have the slightest inkling of vision. (And in President Bush's case the ability to spell vision…) This is an unfortunate, but fixable if we begin to act now. Right now.
I think the first step begins by turning off the television. It lies to us anyway, and there's little time for distraction. No one needs to be caught off guard by a stray episode of The Simple life. That kind of WMD should be left to the experts. Only by freeing ourselves of Paris Hilton, will we ever be truly free.
Secondly, register to vote. This whole thing will collapse like a cake in the oven (at a very busy preschool…) if you don't have the tools to do the task at hand. My Grandpa used to say, “You gotta have the right tools for the right job.”
Thirdly, get involved. This “I don't have time…” excuse doesn't fly. Make time… It has a very direct effect on your future (and the ones you love too…) Find out what you can about the issues, and take the time to find the right candidate. It's no longer about parties, just process, and survival.
Fourth, Go out and actually vote. Condi Rice is being touted as the next Republican candidate for President. No one needs that. Equally wrong would be letting Stephen Harper become Prime Minister of Canada. (Alright, this is my bias, but I really believe these people are regressive and will hurt us all in the long run… I'll stand by this. Every single word. I may be proven wrong, but I doubt it.)
I gotta run, It's my turn on the trampoline. The kid in front of me just cracked his skull on the frame. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
I give to you as an example; The Wright Brothers, who were thought to be insane, and ahem… flew in the face of convention. The newspapers at the time declared Man would never fly. Then on that fateful day in Kitty Hawk, man soared with the birds for the first time. I believe Wilbur Wright's first words were “Fuck You William Randolph Hearst…” Alright probably not… But I bet he was thinking it!
Now with all that being said, there are still many occasions where people who think they're visionaries don't actually think in a non-conventional way or even in a rational way for that matter. These people are insane. The best example I can provide here is Bush's plan to create a missile defense system over “Fortress North America.” It's not only a waste of an incredible amount of money, but its likelihood of success is less than marginal at best. You'd be better off covering the continent with a giant trampoline. Not only would it provide “protection,” but you could also sell tickets, and treat it like the world's biggest amusement. As we all know, everyone loves a trampoline… (Now that would be visionary…)
Innovation comes from thinking outside of the box that society makes for us. We live in a world that is aching for a really big change. It's time for us as a race to start thinking outside of the box again. Maybe it's time to look at what's not working around here, and make some changes. North America is currently being run by people who don't have the slightest inkling of vision. (And in President Bush's case the ability to spell vision…) This is an unfortunate, but fixable if we begin to act now. Right now.
I think the first step begins by turning off the television. It lies to us anyway, and there's little time for distraction. No one needs to be caught off guard by a stray episode of The Simple life. That kind of WMD should be left to the experts. Only by freeing ourselves of Paris Hilton, will we ever be truly free.
Secondly, register to vote. This whole thing will collapse like a cake in the oven (at a very busy preschool…) if you don't have the tools to do the task at hand. My Grandpa used to say, “You gotta have the right tools for the right job.”
Thirdly, get involved. This “I don't have time…” excuse doesn't fly. Make time… It has a very direct effect on your future (and the ones you love too…) Find out what you can about the issues, and take the time to find the right candidate. It's no longer about parties, just process, and survival.
Fourth, Go out and actually vote. Condi Rice is being touted as the next Republican candidate for President. No one needs that. Equally wrong would be letting Stephen Harper become Prime Minister of Canada. (Alright, this is my bias, but I really believe these people are regressive and will hurt us all in the long run… I'll stand by this. Every single word. I may be proven wrong, but I doubt it.)
I gotta run, It's my turn on the trampoline. The kid in front of me just cracked his skull on the frame. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
03/16/05
I feel fine. Not great, not lousy, just fine… It's been slow at work lately, and I have been getting more sleep than I usually do. I'm getting concerned with the lack of work. It seems like we have hit a down period. This is not what I was hoping for.
I picked up some more gigs. That's a really good thing. April will be a good month. I'll be able to stretch out a little more on stage. The thing that really sucks about Calgary is that there are no places to work out new jokes. Denise has always been good at getting me some stage time, but it's just not enough.
I've been reading a good book lately. It's called “The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night-time” It was written by a man named Mark Haddon. It's a story of a Murdered dog, and a 16 year old savant trying to figure out why it happened. It's really quite odd. It may be my favorite book in the last couple of years. I highly recommend it.
The ipod has had some good tunes lately too. Here is a list of some discs I've downloaded to it lately.
1) James - Wah Wah (a collection of James jam sessions… with an early version of “Tomorrow”)
2) Hagfish - Rocks Your Lame Ass (Fun power pop…)
3) Beck - Sea Change (Not quite the masterpiece that “Mutations” was, but still quite good)
4) David Byrne - Grown Backwards
5) Drive - Jehovah's witness protection program
6) Sean Panting - Lotus Land (One of the best records I have ever heard…)
7) Goldfinger - Disconnection Notice (not the best, but very catchy…)
I picked up some more gigs. That's a really good thing. April will be a good month. I'll be able to stretch out a little more on stage. The thing that really sucks about Calgary is that there are no places to work out new jokes. Denise has always been good at getting me some stage time, but it's just not enough.
I've been reading a good book lately. It's called “The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night-time” It was written by a man named Mark Haddon. It's a story of a Murdered dog, and a 16 year old savant trying to figure out why it happened. It's really quite odd. It may be my favorite book in the last couple of years. I highly recommend it.
The ipod has had some good tunes lately too. Here is a list of some discs I've downloaded to it lately.
1) James - Wah Wah (a collection of James jam sessions… with an early version of “Tomorrow”)
2) Hagfish - Rocks Your Lame Ass (Fun power pop…)
3) Beck - Sea Change (Not quite the masterpiece that “Mutations” was, but still quite good)
4) David Byrne - Grown Backwards
5) Drive - Jehovah's witness protection program
6) Sean Panting - Lotus Land (One of the best records I have ever heard…)
7) Goldfinger - Disconnection Notice (not the best, but very catchy…)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
03/15/05 verbage...
The day I left Toronto, Brett and Peter and I were in a cab on our way to a hotel to meet our friends. We started laughing about how there should be store that caters to the needs of the truly strange. Just in case you need you need a Mexican wrestling mask, a mickey of Vodka, and some mousetraps. I'm not entirely sure it would be a moneymaker, but it would be the most interesting retail outlet since the clearance sale that sent Kmart to that great department store in the sky. (The Canadian operation met its maker about a decade ago…)
The concept triggered a thought. I think it's neat how wildly divergent people are. The differences that we have make for one hell of an interesting place. I think it's time we stopped lumping people into groups based on ethnicity, gender, political bias or religious affiliation. In my estimation, they do not make the measure of a person.
Maybe we can look past all that window dressing, and see people for what they really are. While it can be argued that these things all have a place in creating the identity of a person, they are nothing more than primary construction materials. Seeing them as anything more, has led to untold volumes of bloodshed and destruction. The misunderstandings caused by this flawed set of demographics have made the world a very insecure place.
Think of all the Shock and Awe that could have been avoided. (Not all of it mind you…)
Imagine measuring our fellow man with a simpler set of standards. Deciding on our actions based on the notion of character, rather than say, by skin colour. Would it not reflect a happier wisdom if we refrained from making sweeping generalizations, and concentrated on what lies within the human heart?
The concept triggered a thought. I think it's neat how wildly divergent people are. The differences that we have make for one hell of an interesting place. I think it's time we stopped lumping people into groups based on ethnicity, gender, political bias or religious affiliation. In my estimation, they do not make the measure of a person.
Maybe we can look past all that window dressing, and see people for what they really are. While it can be argued that these things all have a place in creating the identity of a person, they are nothing more than primary construction materials. Seeing them as anything more, has led to untold volumes of bloodshed and destruction. The misunderstandings caused by this flawed set of demographics have made the world a very insecure place.
Think of all the Shock and Awe that could have been avoided. (Not all of it mind you…)
Imagine measuring our fellow man with a simpler set of standards. Deciding on our actions based on the notion of character, rather than say, by skin colour. Would it not reflect a happier wisdom if we refrained from making sweeping generalizations, and concentrated on what lies within the human heart?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
03/12/05 Part one...
So, last night was fun. I did a guest spot at Yuk Yuks. I was supposed to do two of them, but I gave one to Brett, because he decided to come out from Toronto for the weekend. Must be nice to have access to travel like that.
In a perfect world, we should all be able to travel for nothing. That would rock. My shoes would have so many miles; you'd be able to see the bottom of my feet through the worn rubber. I'd go everywhere I could think of, from the Wailing Wall to Walla Walla, and everywhere in between. Maybe I'd get lost in the Amazon Basin, and maybe I wouldn't mind it that much.
At the second show last night there were a pair of Neo Nazi skinheads sitting in the audience. Damn it I hate them so much. They were sitting there, smirking and displaying their ignorance for all to see. It bothers me when I see the ignorant rejection of truths in favor of lies and deceit. The kind of Lies that lack the volition of human decency, and serve only to sever one's self from reason.
More to come…
In a perfect world, we should all be able to travel for nothing. That would rock. My shoes would have so many miles; you'd be able to see the bottom of my feet through the worn rubber. I'd go everywhere I could think of, from the Wailing Wall to Walla Walla, and everywhere in between. Maybe I'd get lost in the Amazon Basin, and maybe I wouldn't mind it that much.
At the second show last night there were a pair of Neo Nazi skinheads sitting in the audience. Damn it I hate them so much. They were sitting there, smirking and displaying their ignorance for all to see. It bothers me when I see the ignorant rejection of truths in favor of lies and deceit. The kind of Lies that lack the volition of human decency, and serve only to sever one's self from reason.
More to come…
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
03/09/05 Second entry
Still more stuff about me…
1. I (like an awful lot of Canadians) love Kraft Dinner.
2. I think Bob Marley actually was a prophet.
3. I love fried chicken. (I have had to restrain myself on so many occasions… Why couldn't there be a “Southern Fried Chicken” Diet. Damn it all…
4. I love going to museums.
5. I wish I could paint. That would be cool.
6. Homeless people scare the shit out of me…
7. I love gospel music. (A strange irony for those who know me well…)
8. I miss the ocean. Every time I go home, the brine smell from the Atlantic fills me with joy.
9. I never sleep well…
10. I really like shoe shopping. (This is something I picked up from my mother… I can't explain it…)
11. I love Bubble Gum. I just wish the flavor lasted longer.
12. I am a Rock star at heart.
13. I hate alpha males, and all the macho bullshit that comes with them.
14. I have always hated disco. There is nothing campy about it… It's just crap and nothing more. Gloria Gaynor will suffer in the eternal hellfire. I'm pretty fucking sure Barry Gibb is saving her a seat.
15. I love motion pictures. The good, the bad, and the utterly terrible. I love them all.
16. I miss hockey. I'm desperate for it.
1. I (like an awful lot of Canadians) love Kraft Dinner.
2. I think Bob Marley actually was a prophet.
3. I love fried chicken. (I have had to restrain myself on so many occasions… Why couldn't there be a “Southern Fried Chicken” Diet. Damn it all…
4. I love going to museums.
5. I wish I could paint. That would be cool.
6. Homeless people scare the shit out of me…
7. I love gospel music. (A strange irony for those who know me well…)
8. I miss the ocean. Every time I go home, the brine smell from the Atlantic fills me with joy.
9. I never sleep well…
10. I really like shoe shopping. (This is something I picked up from my mother… I can't explain it…)
11. I love Bubble Gum. I just wish the flavor lasted longer.
12. I am a Rock star at heart.
13. I hate alpha males, and all the macho bullshit that comes with them.
14. I have always hated disco. There is nothing campy about it… It's just crap and nothing more. Gloria Gaynor will suffer in the eternal hellfire. I'm pretty fucking sure Barry Gibb is saving her a seat.
15. I love motion pictures. The good, the bad, and the utterly terrible. I love them all.
16. I miss hockey. I'm desperate for it.
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