I’m having a nice quite Thursday evening. The eve of our nation’s birthday, finds me smoking Camels, drinking water out of a Pellegrino bottle, and humming along to The Arcade fire. Yes, It is a lovely moment.
I have spent the majority of my day running errands that until now had been largely forgotten about. I’m a last minute kind of guy. I know I shouldn’t be… Especially with the early bird getting the worm and all. (Or so I’m told is normally the case.) I’m one of those people that still actually prefer to go into the bank. I think its because I like to see what kind of people are waiting in the queue.
Everyone in the line has that “Aw… Fuck… can you get a move on it please?” look on their faces. Some of them are a little less glazed over than others, but no one looks thrilled to be at the bank.
The biggest hold up in the line comes from a homeless man who is trying to get the bank teller to accept all his unrolled change. He just kept pulling mounds and mounds of change from his pockets. The teller had a forced smile on her face. The manager strolled over and nodded to indicate that she should continue to put up with it. I found the whole thing amusing. The others did not.
One rather well dressed fellow, clinging to his briefcase, snaps… “This is bullshit… Why the fuck isn’t there an other teller on?”
I smiled, and kind of shrugged my shoulders. He just got angrier.
Briefcase Man: This is making me late for a meeting. This was just a waste of time. Huff (Rolls his eyes)… Fuck…
Me: I don’t mind waiting. I think it’s great that they are willing to give that poor fellow some attention… most people probably ignore him.
Briefcase Man: I don’t care… This just pisses me off…
Then came my turn, so I headed to the teller. She addressed me as Mr. Beaubier. She even pronounced my last name correctly. I love that. It never happens. In all the years that I have done stand up, I have had to correct nearly every MC at least once.
I finish up my business, and I can still hear the Briefcase man bitching from over by the “Special Clients” queue. It seems he got into the wrong line. I bet that burned his fuse just a little shorter.
Me: I hope your meeting goes well…
Briefcase man: Yeah Right… (Muffled voice…) This fucking line…
I open the door and escape out into the sunlight. Next stop, the post office.
It surprised me to find out just exactly how much time I actually spent in queues today. From the bank, to the post office, to Starbucks, to finally where I got my lunch, each one had a line. (For those of you who are interested, I had a BK Veggie Burger, Salad and a medium diet soda. I was amazed at how good the veggie burger was…)
In any case, I’m glad I brought my ipod. Music has always been a good pacifier for me. It keeps me patient. But I’m one of those people that spend so much time sifting through a song. I look for the little hooks in the music. A clever bass line, or a smart key change, and I become a puddle.
On to other stuff…
I had a fun show last night. The crowd was so quiet at the start of the show; I was convinced they were going to hate me. This was not the case at all. Holly told me that I would likely wake them out of their stupor. That was exactly what happened.
They just sat there like lumps for the first 3 acts. Then, as if I had just flipped a switch, they started to perk up and get into the show.
Anyway… enough babble from me…
End of Transmission.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
06/29/05
Well, It sounds like the rain may have finally abated for a while. It has been a relentless so far this summer. Everything is really soggy. I suspect when it finally does dry up, there will be mosquitoes everywhere. Calgary is going to be West Nile central.
I deliberately left the window in my office open all day, just so I could hear the rain pinging off of the side of the building. It’s a strangely soothing sound to me. PING… Tink, Tink, Tink… PING… I love it. It’s a great sound to fall asleep to. Oddly there hasn’t been much in the way of thunder and lightening. I guess it just hasn’t gotten hot enough.
Tomorrow is supposed to be a little nicer. This city isn’t recovering well from the last downpour. It seems this summer’s rain is making up for the last couple of years of drought with a vengeance. I feel really bad for the people of High River; they just seem to be getting flooded over and over again. (Mind you, with a name like High River, you’d figure it might be a tip off of sorts.)
Things are at least nice and green here. Even the foothills are lush and green. Normally by this time of year, there are grass fire warnings. No dice in 2005.
If this rain keeps up, the Stampede might want to consider using sea horses in the rodeo. They might be the only things able to make it in this weather.
On to other things…
I went home sick today. My stomach was really upset with me. I’m not sure what I did to it, but it gave me heck. I’m feeling a little better now, but still not great. I hate being sick. (Not that I can imagine that there are too many people out there who cherish it…)
I had a nap on the couch when I made it home. The TV was on as I drifted off. I must have rolled onto the remote in my sleep, because when I woke up, it was on the “Home Shopping Network,” which would explain some of the dreams I was having.
I dreamt that people were trying to sell me a Tooth whitening kit, but they themselves had no teeth. They were all gummy and gross. One of the “presenters” looked a lot like Herb Tarlec from WKRP. It was all very odd.
I deliberately left the window in my office open all day, just so I could hear the rain pinging off of the side of the building. It’s a strangely soothing sound to me. PING… Tink, Tink, Tink… PING… I love it. It’s a great sound to fall asleep to. Oddly there hasn’t been much in the way of thunder and lightening. I guess it just hasn’t gotten hot enough.
Tomorrow is supposed to be a little nicer. This city isn’t recovering well from the last downpour. It seems this summer’s rain is making up for the last couple of years of drought with a vengeance. I feel really bad for the people of High River; they just seem to be getting flooded over and over again. (Mind you, with a name like High River, you’d figure it might be a tip off of sorts.)
Things are at least nice and green here. Even the foothills are lush and green. Normally by this time of year, there are grass fire warnings. No dice in 2005.
If this rain keeps up, the Stampede might want to consider using sea horses in the rodeo. They might be the only things able to make it in this weather.
On to other things…
I went home sick today. My stomach was really upset with me. I’m not sure what I did to it, but it gave me heck. I’m feeling a little better now, but still not great. I hate being sick. (Not that I can imagine that there are too many people out there who cherish it…)
I had a nap on the couch when I made it home. The TV was on as I drifted off. I must have rolled onto the remote in my sleep, because when I woke up, it was on the “Home Shopping Network,” which would explain some of the dreams I was having.
I dreamt that people were trying to sell me a Tooth whitening kit, but they themselves had no teeth. They were all gummy and gross. One of the “presenters” looked a lot like Herb Tarlec from WKRP. It was all very odd.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
B0009HLDFU.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Just buy it... It will rock your lame ass...
06/26/05
It’s been a good weekend. I went to see the final performance of Erin’s play on Saturday night. It was really quite good. I’m very proud of her. She seems to have found her stride again in the theatre world. To be fair, she needed to surround herself with the right people. I think she’s done that. It strikes me that the group she’s working with has the same goals and sense of how things should work. It will be neat to see what they do together in the future.
I managed to get some tickets to go and see the Foo Fighters. I’m really excited about that. I suspect that will wind up being one really kick ass show. The band’s leader, Dave Grohl has become a sort of hero to me. Through his efforts and creativity, there is a little hope for real rock and roll after all. He puts the bombast back into music. It’s nice to see someone trying to craft something a little more real. A little message to Nickleback… If you listen to the Foo Fighters, you will know why you are truly awful. Nuff said.
I went to see Batman Begins tonight. I loved it. It was everything a superhero movie should be. My only complaint is that Tom Cruise’s fiancé sucked. Her character was really very flimsy. The introduction of Ra's Al Ghul was really cool. He is one of my most favorite villains. I first read about him in the Jim Aparo days of Detective. Most cool indeed.
It’s nice to report good things. It’s a pleasant change…
I have an idea. I want to write a one-man show. Something that’s different than stand up. I want to try my hand at story telling. Telling people a story about who I am. I’m going to treat it like an experiment. It should be interesting to see where it goes.
I have felt for a little while that there is more than just stand up. Don’t get me wrong here, stand up is my first true love, but I think this will be good for me. I imagine that it could only help stand up in the future. Maybe by doing this, I’ll be able to reach a new level. Stepping away from the comfort of laughter, while scary, has a certain appeal to me.
There is a line that the emperor says in the new Star Wars. The gist is about living a life of greater consequence. Living a life that’s more meaningful, having a life with significance. I think there is a little wisdom in that. I don’t want to exclude things, or dismiss them, but rather employ differing skills to create a better me. It’s not fame or glory I’m after, just the ability to be the best me I can be.
Anyway, It’s just a thought right now, but who knows… there could be something there.
End of Transmission.
I managed to get some tickets to go and see the Foo Fighters. I’m really excited about that. I suspect that will wind up being one really kick ass show. The band’s leader, Dave Grohl has become a sort of hero to me. Through his efforts and creativity, there is a little hope for real rock and roll after all. He puts the bombast back into music. It’s nice to see someone trying to craft something a little more real. A little message to Nickleback… If you listen to the Foo Fighters, you will know why you are truly awful. Nuff said.
I went to see Batman Begins tonight. I loved it. It was everything a superhero movie should be. My only complaint is that Tom Cruise’s fiancé sucked. Her character was really very flimsy. The introduction of Ra's Al Ghul was really cool. He is one of my most favorite villains. I first read about him in the Jim Aparo days of Detective. Most cool indeed.
It’s nice to report good things. It’s a pleasant change…
I have an idea. I want to write a one-man show. Something that’s different than stand up. I want to try my hand at story telling. Telling people a story about who I am. I’m going to treat it like an experiment. It should be interesting to see where it goes.
I have felt for a little while that there is more than just stand up. Don’t get me wrong here, stand up is my first true love, but I think this will be good for me. I imagine that it could only help stand up in the future. Maybe by doing this, I’ll be able to reach a new level. Stepping away from the comfort of laughter, while scary, has a certain appeal to me.
There is a line that the emperor says in the new Star Wars. The gist is about living a life of greater consequence. Living a life that’s more meaningful, having a life with significance. I think there is a little wisdom in that. I don’t want to exclude things, or dismiss them, but rather employ differing skills to create a better me. It’s not fame or glory I’m after, just the ability to be the best me I can be.
Anyway, It’s just a thought right now, but who knows… there could be something there.
End of Transmission.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
This Hole I've Dug is Mine Forever...
thisholeivedugisminefor
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Another one from
www.explodingdog.com
This one is actually my favorite. I think that I can relate to this drawing for some reason.
The Glass is Half Full
theglassishalffull
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
This was taken from one of my favorite websites of all time.
Check out
www.explodingdog.com
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Lego Bible
You have to check this out. I think it's very funny.
http://www.thebricktestament.com/genesis/
http://www.thebricktestament.com/genesis/
06/25/05 Later edition...
This past week has been pretty good. I’m enjoying the free time. It has given me the chance to take it a lot easier lately. It seems to be paying off, I’m not as tired, and I’m not feeling rushed about anything. Perhaps this will be a good summer. That would be nice.
There hasn’t been much stand up work as of late, and to be honest, I don’t mind that. The summer slows down considerably. (With it being tourist season… not too mention BBQ’s and all the fun summer activities that will be a foot…) It’s kind of nice. However, I’m hoping that the fall will bring more and more work, and ultimately bigger successes both on and off stage.
I’m trying to figure out another trip to Toronto. This time I hope to work more. It would be great to get as many eastern clubs under my belt as possible.
I had a good set on Wednesday. The lessons Dan taught me on the road have helped. I have become more natural on stage, and my personality is drawing itself out nicely. The crowd was good, and eager, just the way I like them. They let me take them where I wanted to go… I didn’t have to work hard for it… It was nice to be able to wander and still have their complete attention. Clubs are much nicer for that level of control, than bar shows… with some exceptions.
The frustrations I used to have on stage seem to have dissipated. I think they were based in clinging too tightly to material, and being afraid to leap away from it. I forgot for a while that I’m naturally funny, and when I remembered that, it just plain got better. I have also gotten away from the need to kill. That just creates pressure, and makes it that much harder to communicate the way I like too. Why create friction when there needs to be none? That’s what this blog is for. Making friction that is…
I have to admit, in terms of this blog; I’ve tripped myself up in a few facts recently. I hate that. I spend so much time chastising others for erroneous information that I feel very much like a hypocrite and a jackass. Well… live and learn I guess. I will endeavour to clarify and verify things better before I haul them out into the open. (Mind you… these have mostly been based on my opinions… and I feel they can be somewhat subjective. I still feel that the National Post is conservative… maybe not in the nature of what party they support, but more in the content that I still disagree with, but then I’m coming from further left of centre than most these days… However, I will still do my best to make sure I’m not just talking outta my ass… insert cheap shot here…)
On to other things…
I have been eating dinner at the Ship and Anchor more often lately. Erin has been super busy with her play, (Which has been going great for her… and its really good too. I’m very proud of her…) and I don’t feel like cooking for just me. So I had to find a decent alternative that wasn’t going to drive me into the poor house.
I have to say; the food there is really good. I have tried most things on the menu, and without a doubt, it’s the best pub food in the city… (If not the best I’ve ever had… Mind you… The Bear and Kilt is quite good too.) If you go there, you should try the Chicken Roll Ups… they’re great. Have the home cut fries too. Mmmm…
Anyway… I have much to do…
End of Transmission.
There hasn’t been much stand up work as of late, and to be honest, I don’t mind that. The summer slows down considerably. (With it being tourist season… not too mention BBQ’s and all the fun summer activities that will be a foot…) It’s kind of nice. However, I’m hoping that the fall will bring more and more work, and ultimately bigger successes both on and off stage.
I’m trying to figure out another trip to Toronto. This time I hope to work more. It would be great to get as many eastern clubs under my belt as possible.
I had a good set on Wednesday. The lessons Dan taught me on the road have helped. I have become more natural on stage, and my personality is drawing itself out nicely. The crowd was good, and eager, just the way I like them. They let me take them where I wanted to go… I didn’t have to work hard for it… It was nice to be able to wander and still have their complete attention. Clubs are much nicer for that level of control, than bar shows… with some exceptions.
The frustrations I used to have on stage seem to have dissipated. I think they were based in clinging too tightly to material, and being afraid to leap away from it. I forgot for a while that I’m naturally funny, and when I remembered that, it just plain got better. I have also gotten away from the need to kill. That just creates pressure, and makes it that much harder to communicate the way I like too. Why create friction when there needs to be none? That’s what this blog is for. Making friction that is…
I have to admit, in terms of this blog; I’ve tripped myself up in a few facts recently. I hate that. I spend so much time chastising others for erroneous information that I feel very much like a hypocrite and a jackass. Well… live and learn I guess. I will endeavour to clarify and verify things better before I haul them out into the open. (Mind you… these have mostly been based on my opinions… and I feel they can be somewhat subjective. I still feel that the National Post is conservative… maybe not in the nature of what party they support, but more in the content that I still disagree with, but then I’m coming from further left of centre than most these days… However, I will still do my best to make sure I’m not just talking outta my ass… insert cheap shot here…)
On to other things…
I have been eating dinner at the Ship and Anchor more often lately. Erin has been super busy with her play, (Which has been going great for her… and its really good too. I’m very proud of her…) and I don’t feel like cooking for just me. So I had to find a decent alternative that wasn’t going to drive me into the poor house.
I have to say; the food there is really good. I have tried most things on the menu, and without a doubt, it’s the best pub food in the city… (If not the best I’ve ever had… Mind you… The Bear and Kilt is quite good too.) If you go there, you should try the Chicken Roll Ups… they’re great. Have the home cut fries too. Mmmm…
Anyway… I have much to do…
End of Transmission.
06/25/05 Duck Season
The Conservatives got caught with their pants down again!!! Martin and his little generals managed to get the NDP budget amendments passed. Sure it was a sneaky move, but there’s no room in Ottawa for the faint of heart. Mr. Harper’s gang seems to be doing nothing but chewing their collective cud.
For an opposition that sees itself as the “Government in Waiting” they sure aren’t very good at sniffing out the best way to beat this government. It’s almost as if they can’t figure out the rules of the game. Or, and I think this is more to the point, they just don’t know how to play.
Now, before any of you dear readers go off the handle, (which I know you will…) you have to admit, the Government house leader managed to quarterback a very smart play. (I know you‘re all going to bitch about how dirty those liberal pigs are… blah blah blah… and I really don’t care. Every time Conservatives get beat… they babble at the mouth about someone running foul… Suck it up… Sour grapes and snarky sulking will get you nothing… Maybe instead, you could find someone who can get the job done. )
In terms of tactics, especially if you look at this like a war, the Liberals are very good. They wrote the playbook. I admire a good thrashing, and that’s exactly what they handed out.
Those poor (dare I say hapless schmo…) Conservatives didn’t even see what hit them. They just sat there, covered in soot, still smoking from the blast. (It kind of reminds me of Daffy Duck, mere moments after blurting the words “DUCK SEASON…”) I can almost hear Carl Stalling warming up the orchestra in the background. “Badee Bahduh Badee… That’s all folks!!!”
Mr. Harper just can’t run with the “big” boys. Imagine going to Ottawa with all that zesty idealism, gleaming with the notion of making some “big changes!!!” and then…wham… absolutely nothing!!! ZIP ZERO… NADA… no progress… Harper has proven time and time again to be impotent. His threats of clobbering Mr. Martin are somewhat reminiscent of a toy poodle named “Tink” trying to take on a pack of wolves.
The truth is this. Mr. Harper probably isn’t that bad a guy. I’m willing to bet he’s a good fellow at heart. I’m sure with friends and family he’s quite a decent sort. I bet he even carves the turkey at Christmas, but he is not a leader of men. In some ways he is very much like Preston Manning. He’s a wonk. He knows policy, and strategy, but he’s not charismatic enough to pull a government out of his hat.
“My boy's gonna play in the Big League
My boy's gonna turn some heads
My boy's gonna play in the Big League
My boy's gonna knock 'em dead
The Big League…”
Well maybe not…
For an opposition that sees itself as the “Government in Waiting” they sure aren’t very good at sniffing out the best way to beat this government. It’s almost as if they can’t figure out the rules of the game. Or, and I think this is more to the point, they just don’t know how to play.
Now, before any of you dear readers go off the handle, (which I know you will…) you have to admit, the Government house leader managed to quarterback a very smart play. (I know you‘re all going to bitch about how dirty those liberal pigs are… blah blah blah… and I really don’t care. Every time Conservatives get beat… they babble at the mouth about someone running foul… Suck it up… Sour grapes and snarky sulking will get you nothing… Maybe instead, you could find someone who can get the job done. )
In terms of tactics, especially if you look at this like a war, the Liberals are very good. They wrote the playbook. I admire a good thrashing, and that’s exactly what they handed out.
Those poor (dare I say hapless schmo…) Conservatives didn’t even see what hit them. They just sat there, covered in soot, still smoking from the blast. (It kind of reminds me of Daffy Duck, mere moments after blurting the words “DUCK SEASON…”) I can almost hear Carl Stalling warming up the orchestra in the background. “Badee Bahduh Badee… That’s all folks!!!”
Mr. Harper just can’t run with the “big” boys. Imagine going to Ottawa with all that zesty idealism, gleaming with the notion of making some “big changes!!!” and then…wham… absolutely nothing!!! ZIP ZERO… NADA… no progress… Harper has proven time and time again to be impotent. His threats of clobbering Mr. Martin are somewhat reminiscent of a toy poodle named “Tink” trying to take on a pack of wolves.
The truth is this. Mr. Harper probably isn’t that bad a guy. I’m willing to bet he’s a good fellow at heart. I’m sure with friends and family he’s quite a decent sort. I bet he even carves the turkey at Christmas, but he is not a leader of men. In some ways he is very much like Preston Manning. He’s a wonk. He knows policy, and strategy, but he’s not charismatic enough to pull a government out of his hat.
“My boy's gonna play in the Big League
My boy's gonna turn some heads
My boy's gonna play in the Big League
My boy's gonna knock 'em dead
The Big League…”
Well maybe not…
Thursday, June 23, 2005
06/23/05 New Tunes
So I thought I'd take a break from the political nonsense currently infesting my blog, to tell you folks about some new discs that I've added to the collection.
So… here it goes…
1) Steel Pulse - The Best of… 20th Century Masters Edition… (For those of you that have never heard of them… well they're great. It's the kind of reggae that would make Bob Marley proud.)
On a side note, the 20th Century masters discs are great.
2) Foo Fighters - In Your Honor (This is my album of the year… Dave Grohl never disappoints. These songs are the hallmark of not only a kick ass rock & roll savior, but a musical craftsman too.
3) Ben Harper - Welcome to the Cruel World. (I'm new on the Harper bandwagon. I've heard his stuff for years, but I never took the time to really give it a listen… I can't believe what I was missing. WOW…)
4) Coldplay - X&Y (Not their best effort, but there are some tracks that I think stand out. Square One, Talk, Speed of Sound and A Message are all really good… the rest of the record is a little heavy on the filler side… Too bad really…)
5) Oasis - Don't Believe the Truth. (Oasis is all grown up. Nuff said…)
So… here it goes…
1) Steel Pulse - The Best of… 20th Century Masters Edition… (For those of you that have never heard of them… well they're great. It's the kind of reggae that would make Bob Marley proud.)
On a side note, the 20th Century masters discs are great.
2) Foo Fighters - In Your Honor (This is my album of the year… Dave Grohl never disappoints. These songs are the hallmark of not only a kick ass rock & roll savior, but a musical craftsman too.
3) Ben Harper - Welcome to the Cruel World. (I'm new on the Harper bandwagon. I've heard his stuff for years, but I never took the time to really give it a listen… I can't believe what I was missing. WOW…)
4) Coldplay - X&Y (Not their best effort, but there are some tracks that I think stand out. Square One, Talk, Speed of Sound and A Message are all really good… the rest of the record is a little heavy on the filler side… Too bad really…)
5) Oasis - Don't Believe the Truth. (Oasis is all grown up. Nuff said…)
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
06/21/05
I’m not sure how it happened… but it appears that my blog has become a bulletin board.
I thought for fun… I’d shed a little light on who the key players are.
Daryl, who is a comic friend of mine, seems to have become my biggest social critic. (At least it would appear that way given the amount of comments he’s left on this blog over that last little while.) I think that’s funny. He and I come from very clearly different ends of the political spectrum, and yet we have a tendency to agree on many other things. We both understand what’s funny, and we both know that Mac trounces PC any day of the week, and I believe that we both like Alexander Keith’s in a tall cold pint glass.
I’ve known him for about 7 years. Daryl was the first emcee ever to bring me to the stage at Yuk Yuks, and he was the first guy I ever went on the road with. We went to a small town called Cremona, which is here in Alberta. (Not to offend the residents of the booming metropolis of Cremona, but it’s hardly a premium gig. At least that’s what I thought at the time.)
You can find out a lot more about Daryl from his blog. The address is www.darylmakk.blogspot.com
Peter is another comic, and one of my best friends. Like me, big Pete is a fellow east coaster. He and I (and our merry band of idiots…) have had many, many adventures. Most of them have left a trail of carnage across the Canadian landscape. Scientists are still trying to figure out how that much damage can be cause by so few people. (I’m sure the poor people of Lethbridge are still reeling… but that’s another story for and from another time.)
Pete’s another member of the cult of Mac. (Die pc die…)
I’ve heard recently that he is taking some big steps to improve his own happiness, and I applaud his strength. Good on you Pete.
Check out his solo adventures… www.peteranthony.blogspot.com
Denise is one of the best protectors a person can have. She welcomed me back to the land of stand up. (Even after I had my little melt down a couple of years ago.) Without her, I would still be bitterly grasping for time at open mikes, and sneering at the mostly miserable crowds.
She is one of my greatest allies, and a good soul too. She helped me find the strength to crawl out of the shit, and stake my claim on the circuit. She is one of my heroes. She went that extra mile when she didn’t have to, and for that I will always be grateful.
Despite the fact that we disagree on hockey teams and political parties, I will always stand and be counted next to her. Her blog is www.dennisrosss.blogspot.com
Daniel Rock, the lone American in the group. (Really he’s more of a Canadian in waiting… or perhaps a currently misplaced Canadian, regardless of what his passport says.) My friendship with him is different. He’s more like a brother to me. He’s a shit disturber too. I think he’s had more practice at it though. I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like to. His opinions are usually founded in a wisdom, which he has in spades. (more than a man of his years should have…) Dan can be found at www.danielrock.blogspot.com
Lisa is a member of my extended family. She’s fiesty. She makes me laugh. I don’t know her as well the others yet, but I’m sure over the years to come I’ll get to know her better. One thing that’s for sure, she has a good sense of humor.
She’s not as premeditated as the others in this little group. I’m not sure of where her convictions come from, but they seem honest at their root. (As does everyone else’s in this group.)
Her blog is new. I’m interested to see where it goes over the next little while. Check her out at
www.crossfieldcowgirl.blogspot.com
Angela is the newest person to this little clique. She is well spoken, and a good lefty. (Hang on to it… there seems to be fewer and fewer of us these days.) I met her in Saskatoon. Dan tormented her while he was on stage, and she still had the fortitude to approach us after the show. She is charming, shy, and has a warm smile. I get the impression she is still trying to find her path. I hope that she finds what she is looking for.
Angela’s home on the web is
www.shyangela.blogspot.com
I thought for fun… I’d shed a little light on who the key players are.
Daryl, who is a comic friend of mine, seems to have become my biggest social critic. (At least it would appear that way given the amount of comments he’s left on this blog over that last little while.) I think that’s funny. He and I come from very clearly different ends of the political spectrum, and yet we have a tendency to agree on many other things. We both understand what’s funny, and we both know that Mac trounces PC any day of the week, and I believe that we both like Alexander Keith’s in a tall cold pint glass.
I’ve known him for about 7 years. Daryl was the first emcee ever to bring me to the stage at Yuk Yuks, and he was the first guy I ever went on the road with. We went to a small town called Cremona, which is here in Alberta. (Not to offend the residents of the booming metropolis of Cremona, but it’s hardly a premium gig. At least that’s what I thought at the time.)
You can find out a lot more about Daryl from his blog. The address is www.darylmakk.blogspot.com
Peter is another comic, and one of my best friends. Like me, big Pete is a fellow east coaster. He and I (and our merry band of idiots…) have had many, many adventures. Most of them have left a trail of carnage across the Canadian landscape. Scientists are still trying to figure out how that much damage can be cause by so few people. (I’m sure the poor people of Lethbridge are still reeling… but that’s another story for and from another time.)
Pete’s another member of the cult of Mac. (Die pc die…)
I’ve heard recently that he is taking some big steps to improve his own happiness, and I applaud his strength. Good on you Pete.
Check out his solo adventures… www.peteranthony.blogspot.com
Denise is one of the best protectors a person can have. She welcomed me back to the land of stand up. (Even after I had my little melt down a couple of years ago.) Without her, I would still be bitterly grasping for time at open mikes, and sneering at the mostly miserable crowds.
She is one of my greatest allies, and a good soul too. She helped me find the strength to crawl out of the shit, and stake my claim on the circuit. She is one of my heroes. She went that extra mile when she didn’t have to, and for that I will always be grateful.
Despite the fact that we disagree on hockey teams and political parties, I will always stand and be counted next to her. Her blog is www.dennisrosss.blogspot.com
Daniel Rock, the lone American in the group. (Really he’s more of a Canadian in waiting… or perhaps a currently misplaced Canadian, regardless of what his passport says.) My friendship with him is different. He’s more like a brother to me. He’s a shit disturber too. I think he’s had more practice at it though. I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like to. His opinions are usually founded in a wisdom, which he has in spades. (more than a man of his years should have…) Dan can be found at www.danielrock.blogspot.com
Lisa is a member of my extended family. She’s fiesty. She makes me laugh. I don’t know her as well the others yet, but I’m sure over the years to come I’ll get to know her better. One thing that’s for sure, she has a good sense of humor.
She’s not as premeditated as the others in this little group. I’m not sure of where her convictions come from, but they seem honest at their root. (As does everyone else’s in this group.)
Her blog is new. I’m interested to see where it goes over the next little while. Check her out at
www.crossfieldcowgirl.blogspot.com
Angela is the newest person to this little clique. She is well spoken, and a good lefty. (Hang on to it… there seems to be fewer and fewer of us these days.) I met her in Saskatoon. Dan tormented her while he was on stage, and she still had the fortitude to approach us after the show. She is charming, shy, and has a warm smile. I get the impression she is still trying to find her path. I hope that she finds what she is looking for.
Angela’s home on the web is
www.shyangela.blogspot.com
Monday, June 20, 2005
06/20/05 Muahahahahahahahaha... Excellent!!!
I’m amazed at the pile of responses I got to the last few posts. Apparently people actually read this thing. You call conservatives hillbillies and they come out of the woodwork. In addition to the comments left on each post, I received numerous emails, both defending and attacking my position. My favourite so far, was an email that said, “Who’s Stephen Harper… is he English?” That one was from someone in North Carolina.
Truthfully, Canadian politics has gotten really interesting for the first time since the whole Meech Lake accord thing happened. Happily, while we all descend into squabbling about whom we should support, we can all take a little solace in knowing that the biggest WMD that we have to worry about is Rick Mercer's ego.
It was nice to see some debate (volatile in some cases…), even if it was artificially instigated. I’m a big fan of inflammatory remarks. They have a tendency to incite people into action. I like that. The biggest problems this country has can be delineated, and perhaps even solved, if we get up off our asses and get something done.
That being said, to all my detractors I have this to say. Personally I think you’re all a bunch of bastards. (I mean that in a loving, I disagree with your opinion, but I respect it… Because you’re my friends kinda way… but bastards none the less.)
And for those of you who agreed with me. Fools… Now that I have you wrapped around my little finger… Fly my pretties fly… Bring me the head of Stephen Harper…
Ahem… That’s it for now…
End of Transmission.
Truthfully, Canadian politics has gotten really interesting for the first time since the whole Meech Lake accord thing happened. Happily, while we all descend into squabbling about whom we should support, we can all take a little solace in knowing that the biggest WMD that we have to worry about is Rick Mercer's ego.
It was nice to see some debate (volatile in some cases…), even if it was artificially instigated. I’m a big fan of inflammatory remarks. They have a tendency to incite people into action. I like that. The biggest problems this country has can be delineated, and perhaps even solved, if we get up off our asses and get something done.
That being said, to all my detractors I have this to say. Personally I think you’re all a bunch of bastards. (I mean that in a loving, I disagree with your opinion, but I respect it… Because you’re my friends kinda way… but bastards none the less.)
And for those of you who agreed with me. Fools… Now that I have you wrapped around my little finger… Fly my pretties fly… Bring me the head of Stephen Harper…
Ahem… That’s it for now…
End of Transmission.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
06/15/05
For the record, I’m a Shithead. (Some of you may have noticed this… And those who know me well will surely confirm this affirmation.) I’m comfortable with that. I have a tendency to wear it like a badge of honour. (Some people get the red badge of courage… But damn it, where’s the fun in that?) I like stirring the pot, and I love pissing people off. It’s fun for me.
The last couple of entries have not disappointed me at all. In fact I’d have to say they have amused me for the last 36 hours (and counting…)
I’ll be honest here, I believe in the things I write (Vehemently in most respects…), but I also tend to tailor the content to derive the maximum entertainment value. The bigger the rise I can get out of someone the better. Sometimes I like to throw a little verbal “wink” in there. Subtext is a beautiful thing. It’s the best tool in the shed.
I love watching people heave their political “guts” up. Especially if the remains look like a recipe that was conceived on a three day bender. For those of you that have seen the movie “Wag the Dog” you know exactly what I mean.
Anyway, having read the comments on the last two posts, I have some things I want to say. I’ve decided to address each comment, so here goes.
1) Denise – A) Stephen Harper isn’t scary. They only way he would be scary is if he really was capable in some fashion. Since he isn’t, he just sort of winds up being impotent. B) There is a difference between disaffected rhetoric and Liberal rhetoric… I am the former and not the later…
2) Angela - I knew I liked you for a reason.
3) Peter - A) Harper’s not a motherfucker. That’s paying to much homage there. B) Positive change has come from liberal thinking. Sadly the liberal party is no longer capable of positive change. That think tank is bankrupt. C) Conservatives have always feared change. That is an axiom. Conservatives in every society on the planet have been responsible for some of the most backward gruesome and callous thinking imaginable. The Nazis were very conservative; the current Bush administration is beyond conservative. They’re zealots… Money-grubbing neo con zealots. Baathists are pretty conservative, and so are the Taliban… (Not too much free thinking here…) K… I’m getting off topic here… (Alright way off topic…) The Conservative party of Canada suffers from the same lack of vision that all Canadian political parties suffer from. It’s three biggest flaws stem from this. 1) They lack any concrete plan to increase productivity in this country. (Which is something that other G8 members have been critical of… and with good reason…) 2) Economic models that they construct do not address anything more than baseline economics. Nothing is designed to encourage homespun business and cottage industry. (Which have been projected to be dominate in this century’s economy.) Agriculture is largely ignored too… (Given the powerbase in the current version of the party that seems really odd to me…) the new economy relies on things that they do not understand. Big business is treasured, but the tools of the new century that will carry Canadians forward have yet to have been understood let alone adopted in any credible fashion. 3) Partisan politics choke the functionality of this country. Instead of voting for the wishes of their constituents, all parties (without exception…) in this country vote “their conscience”. Which has pretty much been code for towing party lines, and is a big load of horseshit. (A recipe for social chaos at the best of times…) The petty nonsense of partisan politics does nothing to help Canada become one of the key players on the world stage in this century. One need only look at the fucked up shit that is happening in the United States to realize this is true.
Truthfully I find it mystifying that anyone could be “only” liberal, or “only” conservative in this day and age. There are too many things at stake to be staunchly one or the other. Given that there are elements of both that are quite distasteful. Imagine what would happen if the abortion laws were repealed. Oops there goes a woman’s right to choose. (Stockwell Day would love that… and he’s a former leader of a party, and still retains a significant amount of power in his party.) Oh hey… looky looky, the death penalty is trendy again. Etc. etc. etc. etc.
4) Denise – A) “Comedians are the purest form of conservatism.” That’s a crock. Comedians are more like libertarians. It’s the quest for liberty that propels us. It’s a more socially pragmatic thing than conservatism. B) There is no such thing as “Liberal Media” it doesn’t exist. That’s a conservative lie. And a big one too. Surely you can’t be that suckered to believe that everything that comes out of the conservative party is gospel. That would be foolhardy. There are liars on all sides of the political spectrum. Liberal media… who would that be exactly? The National post? Not likely… it’s owned by Izzy Asper who is a huge conservative… CTV… owed by Bell… Really fucking conservative… The Globe and Mail? Once again owned by conservatives… The CBC… owned the government… and every previous government before it… liberal and conservative… so like 1 for 4 so far…
5) Daniel – I wanna play hockey… I’ll teach you a proper slap shot the next time you are here.
6) Daryl – You hit the nail on the head about liberty… But your assessment of the media is retarded.
Anyway… it looks like I’ve created a monster here… So I’ll finish my thoughts tomorrow…
The last couple of entries have not disappointed me at all. In fact I’d have to say they have amused me for the last 36 hours (and counting…)
I’ll be honest here, I believe in the things I write (Vehemently in most respects…), but I also tend to tailor the content to derive the maximum entertainment value. The bigger the rise I can get out of someone the better. Sometimes I like to throw a little verbal “wink” in there. Subtext is a beautiful thing. It’s the best tool in the shed.
I love watching people heave their political “guts” up. Especially if the remains look like a recipe that was conceived on a three day bender. For those of you that have seen the movie “Wag the Dog” you know exactly what I mean.
Anyway, having read the comments on the last two posts, I have some things I want to say. I’ve decided to address each comment, so here goes.
1) Denise – A) Stephen Harper isn’t scary. They only way he would be scary is if he really was capable in some fashion. Since he isn’t, he just sort of winds up being impotent. B) There is a difference between disaffected rhetoric and Liberal rhetoric… I am the former and not the later…
2) Angela - I knew I liked you for a reason.
3) Peter - A) Harper’s not a motherfucker. That’s paying to much homage there. B) Positive change has come from liberal thinking. Sadly the liberal party is no longer capable of positive change. That think tank is bankrupt. C) Conservatives have always feared change. That is an axiom. Conservatives in every society on the planet have been responsible for some of the most backward gruesome and callous thinking imaginable. The Nazis were very conservative; the current Bush administration is beyond conservative. They’re zealots… Money-grubbing neo con zealots. Baathists are pretty conservative, and so are the Taliban… (Not too much free thinking here…) K… I’m getting off topic here… (Alright way off topic…) The Conservative party of Canada suffers from the same lack of vision that all Canadian political parties suffer from. It’s three biggest flaws stem from this. 1) They lack any concrete plan to increase productivity in this country. (Which is something that other G8 members have been critical of… and with good reason…) 2) Economic models that they construct do not address anything more than baseline economics. Nothing is designed to encourage homespun business and cottage industry. (Which have been projected to be dominate in this century’s economy.) Agriculture is largely ignored too… (Given the powerbase in the current version of the party that seems really odd to me…) the new economy relies on things that they do not understand. Big business is treasured, but the tools of the new century that will carry Canadians forward have yet to have been understood let alone adopted in any credible fashion. 3) Partisan politics choke the functionality of this country. Instead of voting for the wishes of their constituents, all parties (without exception…) in this country vote “their conscience”. Which has pretty much been code for towing party lines, and is a big load of horseshit. (A recipe for social chaos at the best of times…) The petty nonsense of partisan politics does nothing to help Canada become one of the key players on the world stage in this century. One need only look at the fucked up shit that is happening in the United States to realize this is true.
Truthfully I find it mystifying that anyone could be “only” liberal, or “only” conservative in this day and age. There are too many things at stake to be staunchly one or the other. Given that there are elements of both that are quite distasteful. Imagine what would happen if the abortion laws were repealed. Oops there goes a woman’s right to choose. (Stockwell Day would love that… and he’s a former leader of a party, and still retains a significant amount of power in his party.) Oh hey… looky looky, the death penalty is trendy again. Etc. etc. etc. etc.
4) Denise – A) “Comedians are the purest form of conservatism.” That’s a crock. Comedians are more like libertarians. It’s the quest for liberty that propels us. It’s a more socially pragmatic thing than conservatism. B) There is no such thing as “Liberal Media” it doesn’t exist. That’s a conservative lie. And a big one too. Surely you can’t be that suckered to believe that everything that comes out of the conservative party is gospel. That would be foolhardy. There are liars on all sides of the political spectrum. Liberal media… who would that be exactly? The National post? Not likely… it’s owned by Izzy Asper who is a huge conservative… CTV… owed by Bell… Really fucking conservative… The Globe and Mail? Once again owned by conservatives… The CBC… owned the government… and every previous government before it… liberal and conservative… so like 1 for 4 so far…
5) Daniel – I wanna play hockey… I’ll teach you a proper slap shot the next time you are here.
6) Daryl – You hit the nail on the head about liberty… But your assessment of the media is retarded.
Anyway… it looks like I’ve created a monster here… So I’ll finish my thoughts tomorrow…
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
06/15/05
Well… I knew that last post would stir up some trouble… Let’s see what this does…
Q: What separates a Conservative politician from a hillbilly in this country?
A: A suit of “good clothes” and a seat in parliament… (And perhaps a tape recorder…)
Q: What separates a Conservative politician from a hillbilly in this country?
A: A suit of “good clothes” and a seat in parliament… (And perhaps a tape recorder…)
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
06/14/05 A Rose by Any Other Name...
The Conservatives are now 6 points behind the Liberals in the polls. Hmmm… That’s strange, weren’t they like 11 points ahead just about a month ago? How do you slide 17-points in 30 days? Well done indeed… As far as I can tell, that’s really bad news for all you conservative keeners out there. I’d be starting to worry about your “little” government in waiting right about now. Especially given that they just can’t seem to find that knock out punch. A Raggedy Ann doll should have been able to take down this government. The Liberals even made it easy for you, limping along, and coughing like Tiny freaking Tim (on fire no less…) and still nothing. With the sponsorship scandal attached to the liberals like a suit made out of chum, it looked as if this hungry little shark might finally get his shot. Perhaps a different strategy might be in order.
But I have to say; I think it’s kind of funny that Stephen Harper can’t close the deal. He’s slick and brash, but this horse just can’t seem to make the finish line. When there’s a storm brewing, you need a mudder, not a show horse. It’s hard to get excited every time he comes out of the gate, whinnying, and baying out the tough talk. Here’s why, it’s all rhetoric. Pure fluff. Harper lacks substance. Plain and simple.
Now before you all get angry and send me hate mail… consider this… There is only so much “The Liberals are bad… Because the Liberals are bad…” talk anyone can handle. How much policy have you heard the conservatives talk about? More to the point, policy that is proactive to Canada’s needs, and not reactive to what Canadians wants?
Make no mistake; the liberals are no better at this either. The problem as I see it is this… Canada is really a two party system trying to support five parties. There really isn’t too terribly much different between Conservatives and Liberals anymore. Both parties have had their own share of corruption over the years. (Regardless of how many times the Conservatives tell you they’re “new and improved”… its remarkable how many “old and equally corrupt” faces are still around.)
What will really change the minds of Canadians is charisma. Paul Martin may be a ditherer, but at least he doesn’t come off as a douche bag. Whichever party really wants the country needs to groom a leader. Both parties would do well to find someone with vision.
The brilliant desperation of the past couple of weeks has been pretty darn interesting too. Who tape records conversations anymore? It’s as likely that you’ll win big at three-card monte, as it is this not backfiring in your face. Here’s a handy tip. It helps if you don’t doctor the tapes.
But I have to say; I think it’s kind of funny that Stephen Harper can’t close the deal. He’s slick and brash, but this horse just can’t seem to make the finish line. When there’s a storm brewing, you need a mudder, not a show horse. It’s hard to get excited every time he comes out of the gate, whinnying, and baying out the tough talk. Here’s why, it’s all rhetoric. Pure fluff. Harper lacks substance. Plain and simple.
Now before you all get angry and send me hate mail… consider this… There is only so much “The Liberals are bad… Because the Liberals are bad…” talk anyone can handle. How much policy have you heard the conservatives talk about? More to the point, policy that is proactive to Canada’s needs, and not reactive to what Canadians wants?
Make no mistake; the liberals are no better at this either. The problem as I see it is this… Canada is really a two party system trying to support five parties. There really isn’t too terribly much different between Conservatives and Liberals anymore. Both parties have had their own share of corruption over the years. (Regardless of how many times the Conservatives tell you they’re “new and improved”… its remarkable how many “old and equally corrupt” faces are still around.)
What will really change the minds of Canadians is charisma. Paul Martin may be a ditherer, but at least he doesn’t come off as a douche bag. Whichever party really wants the country needs to groom a leader. Both parties would do well to find someone with vision.
The brilliant desperation of the past couple of weeks has been pretty darn interesting too. Who tape records conversations anymore? It’s as likely that you’ll win big at three-card monte, as it is this not backfiring in your face. Here’s a handy tip. It helps if you don’t doctor the tapes.
Monday, June 13, 2005
06/12/05 Kelowna
Well, I’m back from Kelowna. Overall I would have to say that it was a pretty successful trip. The Thursday show had sold out (They actually had to turn people away…) and by all accounts it went very well. The audience was very attentive, and clearly interested in the show. That was a really nice change from the last couple of times that I’ve played in BC.
The venue has gone through a pretty impressive makeover since the last time I was there. It’s a much nicer place now. (Kind of trendy even… well, almost…) The staff have all turned over since then too. The new people are all very nice. Jennifer, the woman who worked the door was really great. She was the poor victim who got to introduce me to the audience, and she was very nervous about it. (She even said my last name right… on all three shows even…) She did a great job.
My opinion about Kelowna has changed. I really enjoyed this trip.
After the show, I got a chance to see some of the local colour. Kelowna for all its resort beauty has a seedy underbelly. It has an interesting dichotomy comprised of family vacations and greasy bikers.
The Friday show went in a total opposite direction. There were a whopping 12 people at the show. I spent 30 minutes spritzing and chipping away sizable chunks of my self-esteem. (Bigger chunks than I perhaps would have liked.) It felt like an eternity on that stage. But I guess it still beats going on a house boating trip with 59 of my closest friends.
On Saturday things got back to normal. The venue had showed the Tyson fight, and a lot of people stuck around after to see our show. It was a much better attended show than Friday. Truthfully I thought it wound up being the best of all the shows.
The venue has gone through a pretty impressive makeover since the last time I was there. It’s a much nicer place now. (Kind of trendy even… well, almost…) The staff have all turned over since then too. The new people are all very nice. Jennifer, the woman who worked the door was really great. She was the poor victim who got to introduce me to the audience, and she was very nervous about it. (She even said my last name right… on all three shows even…) She did a great job.
My opinion about Kelowna has changed. I really enjoyed this trip.
After the show, I got a chance to see some of the local colour. Kelowna for all its resort beauty has a seedy underbelly. It has an interesting dichotomy comprised of family vacations and greasy bikers.
The Friday show went in a total opposite direction. There were a whopping 12 people at the show. I spent 30 minutes spritzing and chipping away sizable chunks of my self-esteem. (Bigger chunks than I perhaps would have liked.) It felt like an eternity on that stage. But I guess it still beats going on a house boating trip with 59 of my closest friends.
On Saturday things got back to normal. The venue had showed the Tyson fight, and a lot of people stuck around after to see our show. It was a much better attended show than Friday. Truthfully I thought it wound up being the best of all the shows.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
06/08/05 The Harsh Light of Day
Not even a wink of sleep last night. I just lay in bed, staring at the clock. Each minute seemed like an eternity. I began to feel as if there might be too many minutes in an hour. Tick… Tick… Tick… Blink… Tick… Tick…
This morning my eyelids feel heavy, like they have been fashioned out of cement. They also have that burning sensation that only comes from sleep deprivation. I’m groggy with a few parts clumsy and stupid added for good measure. The coffee doesn’t seem to be helping too much. They should make coffee with speed in it. That would help. Hmm… Speed spiked coffee; I sense a million dollar opportunity. (Sadly this would really only get me back to about half power…)
The walk to work was uneventful. Erin and I meandered to our respective work places in relative quiet. She is just as tired as I am. I’m amazed at how much my personality changes when I’m exhausted.
Tomorrow I go to Kelowna. I’m not sure what to expect. The last time I was there was a year ago. I went with Daryl. The show did not got well. I hope to redeem myself a little. Last time there was only one show. This time three shows. More chances to fix that blemish on the road record. (Or implode brilliantly…)
So far, my day looks like it’s going to be action packed. I have many interviews to get through. We need a lot of new people. I hope that we find some candidates that will fit in with our strange little group.
My worst computing fears have been realized. Apple has pitched IBM chipsets in favour of Intel. Apparently hell has actually frozen over. There is an enemy at the gates, and for some reason, the drawbridge has been left open. No good can come from this. Steve Jobs what have you done?
This morning my eyelids feel heavy, like they have been fashioned out of cement. They also have that burning sensation that only comes from sleep deprivation. I’m groggy with a few parts clumsy and stupid added for good measure. The coffee doesn’t seem to be helping too much. They should make coffee with speed in it. That would help. Hmm… Speed spiked coffee; I sense a million dollar opportunity. (Sadly this would really only get me back to about half power…)
The walk to work was uneventful. Erin and I meandered to our respective work places in relative quiet. She is just as tired as I am. I’m amazed at how much my personality changes when I’m exhausted.
Tomorrow I go to Kelowna. I’m not sure what to expect. The last time I was there was a year ago. I went with Daryl. The show did not got well. I hope to redeem myself a little. Last time there was only one show. This time three shows. More chances to fix that blemish on the road record. (Or implode brilliantly…)
So far, my day looks like it’s going to be action packed. I have many interviews to get through. We need a lot of new people. I hope that we find some candidates that will fit in with our strange little group.
My worst computing fears have been realized. Apple has pitched IBM chipsets in favour of Intel. Apparently hell has actually frozen over. There is an enemy at the gates, and for some reason, the drawbridge has been left open. No good can come from this. Steve Jobs what have you done?
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
06/07/05 Just a silly top ten list...
I got a chain email from a friend the other day. One of the questions was to list my top 10 favorite records. It was a bit of a head scratcher for me at first, but I managed to scrape together a list. So here they are.
1) The Clash – London Calling (my favorite of all time ever…)
2) Sugar – Copper Blue (the best record Bob Mould ever did.)
3) The Talking Heads – Stop Making Sense (The best live record I’ve ever heard…)
4) Radiohead – Ok Computer (This record is self indulgent and every second is delicious.)
5) Dead Kennedys – Plastic Surgery Disasters (“Moon over Marin” and “Terminal Preppie” kick ass)
6) James – Pleased to me you (The best lyrics ever written as far as I’m concerned…)
7) Elvis Costello – My Aim is True (Just as punchy a record today as the day it was recorded…)
8) U2 – Wide Awake in America (the best version of Bad is on this e.p.)
9) Ministry – The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste. (This tasty dish is best served at the loudest volume possible.)
10) Bob Marley – Exodus (The man was a prophet… nuff said…)
I felt there were some honorable mentions that needed to be recognized…
1) Doughboys – Whatever
2) Miles Davis – Kinda Blue
3) Public Enemy – Fear of a Black Planet
4) Fugazi – Repeater
5) Down By Law – Punkrockacademyfightsong
6) Pearl Jam – Riot Act
1) The Clash – London Calling (my favorite of all time ever…)
2) Sugar – Copper Blue (the best record Bob Mould ever did.)
3) The Talking Heads – Stop Making Sense (The best live record I’ve ever heard…)
4) Radiohead – Ok Computer (This record is self indulgent and every second is delicious.)
5) Dead Kennedys – Plastic Surgery Disasters (“Moon over Marin” and “Terminal Preppie” kick ass)
6) James – Pleased to me you (The best lyrics ever written as far as I’m concerned…)
7) Elvis Costello – My Aim is True (Just as punchy a record today as the day it was recorded…)
8) U2 – Wide Awake in America (the best version of Bad is on this e.p.)
9) Ministry – The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste. (This tasty dish is best served at the loudest volume possible.)
10) Bob Marley – Exodus (The man was a prophet… nuff said…)
I felt there were some honorable mentions that needed to be recognized…
1) Doughboys – Whatever
2) Miles Davis – Kinda Blue
3) Public Enemy – Fear of a Black Planet
4) Fugazi – Repeater
5) Down By Law – Punkrockacademyfightsong
6) Pearl Jam – Riot Act
06/07/05 Rainy days and Religious Super Heros...
Today has been a good day. Work was relaxed; there were no panicked situations waiting to explode, or any moments of unfettered mania. The day just moved along with it’s own lazy pace. Its flow has been more natural, dare I say peaceful even.
It has rained here for 7 days straight. It really reminds me of home. Apparently there has been a rush on for umbrellas and the city’s retailers have been caught flat-footed by it. It’s so rare for Calgary to get this much moisture at one time. It feels more like Atlantic Canada, and much less like Alberta these days. I found myself dancing a little on my way to work. Twirling my umbrella, and singing along to Madeline Peyroux’s “Don’t Wait too long.” It was like something out of a cheesy musical, yet it was mentally refreshing at the same time.
I actually enjoy walking in the rain. I love the smell in the air after it rains. For me it’s the scent of renewal. Every time I draw air into my lungs, it feels like everything around me is a little less grimy, and just a little livelier. Perhaps that’s a strange notion, but I really don’t care.
Only once that I can recall, have I found rain eerie. It was a few years ago. I was on my way to the Ship and Anchor with a good friend of mine, and we wound up parking on a side street that was a couple of blocks away. In most respects, it was a rather typical apartment building type of neighbourhood. There were six story buildings on both sides of the street, with mature trees lining the sidewalks.
It was about midnight, and it had been raining quite hard. The streets were shiny and had the look of a fun house mirror, brilliantly reflecting the streetlights upward. It almost looked as if there were lights in the asphalt.
At the end of the street there was a church. Now, I’m not too sure what flavour of Christian faith it was, but it had a blazing red cross in its steeple. The cross was reflecting its image onto the pavement too. It was distorted and sprawled up the street. It looked to be about twenty feet tall, and roughly ten feet wide. It appeared fuzzy, and had a bent look to it, like when you peer at a partially submerged object and it seems all-askew.
It was kind of creepy. It was a little oppressive seeing this giant blazing cross. It gave me a shudder at first, buy then it started to remind me of the Bat signal. I half expected to see a priest in his vestments and an altar boy run out of the church and jump into a hearse and speed away. (insert theme music here…)
Anyway… More in a bit.
It has rained here for 7 days straight. It really reminds me of home. Apparently there has been a rush on for umbrellas and the city’s retailers have been caught flat-footed by it. It’s so rare for Calgary to get this much moisture at one time. It feels more like Atlantic Canada, and much less like Alberta these days. I found myself dancing a little on my way to work. Twirling my umbrella, and singing along to Madeline Peyroux’s “Don’t Wait too long.” It was like something out of a cheesy musical, yet it was mentally refreshing at the same time.
I actually enjoy walking in the rain. I love the smell in the air after it rains. For me it’s the scent of renewal. Every time I draw air into my lungs, it feels like everything around me is a little less grimy, and just a little livelier. Perhaps that’s a strange notion, but I really don’t care.
Only once that I can recall, have I found rain eerie. It was a few years ago. I was on my way to the Ship and Anchor with a good friend of mine, and we wound up parking on a side street that was a couple of blocks away. In most respects, it was a rather typical apartment building type of neighbourhood. There were six story buildings on both sides of the street, with mature trees lining the sidewalks.
It was about midnight, and it had been raining quite hard. The streets were shiny and had the look of a fun house mirror, brilliantly reflecting the streetlights upward. It almost looked as if there were lights in the asphalt.
At the end of the street there was a church. Now, I’m not too sure what flavour of Christian faith it was, but it had a blazing red cross in its steeple. The cross was reflecting its image onto the pavement too. It was distorted and sprawled up the street. It looked to be about twenty feet tall, and roughly ten feet wide. It appeared fuzzy, and had a bent look to it, like when you peer at a partially submerged object and it seems all-askew.
It was kind of creepy. It was a little oppressive seeing this giant blazing cross. It gave me a shudder at first, buy then it started to remind me of the Bat signal. I half expected to see a priest in his vestments and an altar boy run out of the church and jump into a hearse and speed away. (insert theme music here…)
Anyway… More in a bit.
06/06/05 Blog Holiday
This post is just to catch up on a lot of shit that I’ve let slide lately.
As some of you more dedicated readers may have noticed, till now, I have taken a bit of a blog holiday. I needed to spend some time on me. The time I normally dedicate to this thing has been taken up lately by trying to spend time with Erin (esp. now that we both are up to our eyes…) evening strolls, video games, good music, and other such sundre things.
In addition, I haven’t really had too terribly much to say. It’s been a bit of a blessing to just exist for a spell. I feel no need to fly off the handle with a rant. (Mind you, there will likely be one in the near (ish) future… I can’t go too long before something picks my ass to the point of madness…) I don’t wish to scrap it out with the powers that be; I’m just enjoying living. The only things missing are a rocky beach, a cloudy day, and some stones to skip off the ocean. Now that would kick some serious ass.
I’m in a good headspace right now, which pleases me. Sadly though, it never lasts for too long, but I intend to enjoy it while it wraps around me like a warm blanket.
Next…
My constant battle to trim down is going reasonably well, (24 pounds and counting…) although, I duked it out with a Hawaiian Pizza the other night, and it won. Defeated by pizza, and not even one that I particularly like either. I am a foolish mortal indeed. I have a hard time understanding why someone came up with the concept of Hawaiian Pizza. Pizza should have pepperoni on it. It should be a law. There should be some sort of Pizza police to enforce it too…
“Freeze… Pizza police… Step away from the Pineapple… I SAID Drop that pineapple Mother fucker… Blam… Blam…”
Next…
I’m on the hunt for some new friends. Don’t get me wrong; I have a bunch already, but none of the really close ones live here. (At least not currently…) Daniel is back in America. Brett and Pete are in Toronto. Russ is in Northern BC and Emmo is on the rock.
Those distances suck. I miss my brothers. Each one of them is brilliant, and too far away for my liking.
So in what so far appears to be a vain attempt to fill the void left by their absence, I’ve decided to hold auditions for the rolls of “Knock Around Chum” and “Co –conspirator”, but thus far, very few have made the callback process… If you think you’ve got what it takes, send me an email…
Next…
I tried the new Tantric sex joke at Yuks the other night. It worked. I was pleased.
Anyway… I should sleep…
But for those of you dear readers who were wondering…
I’m Back…
And for those of you wishing to audition...
mbeaubier@msn.com
good luck!
As some of you more dedicated readers may have noticed, till now, I have taken a bit of a blog holiday. I needed to spend some time on me. The time I normally dedicate to this thing has been taken up lately by trying to spend time with Erin (esp. now that we both are up to our eyes…) evening strolls, video games, good music, and other such sundre things.
In addition, I haven’t really had too terribly much to say. It’s been a bit of a blessing to just exist for a spell. I feel no need to fly off the handle with a rant. (Mind you, there will likely be one in the near (ish) future… I can’t go too long before something picks my ass to the point of madness…) I don’t wish to scrap it out with the powers that be; I’m just enjoying living. The only things missing are a rocky beach, a cloudy day, and some stones to skip off the ocean. Now that would kick some serious ass.
I’m in a good headspace right now, which pleases me. Sadly though, it never lasts for too long, but I intend to enjoy it while it wraps around me like a warm blanket.
Next…
My constant battle to trim down is going reasonably well, (24 pounds and counting…) although, I duked it out with a Hawaiian Pizza the other night, and it won. Defeated by pizza, and not even one that I particularly like either. I am a foolish mortal indeed. I have a hard time understanding why someone came up with the concept of Hawaiian Pizza. Pizza should have pepperoni on it. It should be a law. There should be some sort of Pizza police to enforce it too…
“Freeze… Pizza police… Step away from the Pineapple… I SAID Drop that pineapple Mother fucker… Blam… Blam…”
Next…
I’m on the hunt for some new friends. Don’t get me wrong; I have a bunch already, but none of the really close ones live here. (At least not currently…) Daniel is back in America. Brett and Pete are in Toronto. Russ is in Northern BC and Emmo is on the rock.
Those distances suck. I miss my brothers. Each one of them is brilliant, and too far away for my liking.
So in what so far appears to be a vain attempt to fill the void left by their absence, I’ve decided to hold auditions for the rolls of “Knock Around Chum” and “Co –conspirator”, but thus far, very few have made the callback process… If you think you’ve got what it takes, send me an email…
Next…
I tried the new Tantric sex joke at Yuks the other night. It worked. I was pleased.
Anyway… I should sleep…
But for those of you dear readers who were wondering…
I’m Back…
And for those of you wishing to audition...
mbeaubier@msn.com
good luck!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
05/30/05
“One baby to another says - I'm lucky to have met you
I don't care what you think, unless it is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you…”
I’ve had this Nirvana song stuck in my head for 3 weeks straight. It’s called “Drain You” I’m sure it must mean something. (For the record, I love the song… but it seems to be haunting me.)
I did a lot of walking today. I walked to and from work, and then a bunch (the closest empirical measurement I could muster…) more tonight. It was nice and sunny today. The trees in my neigbourhood have finally surrendered their buds, and the shade along 13th avenue is lovely. I found myself stomping along, and blasting Bad Religion as loudly as the little ipod could muster. I had a good groove going on.
I got to wear my Punk Voter t-shirt today. That makes me happy. It’s the first time I’ve ever been able to wear it. When I got it in November, It was really, really tight. Now it’s billowing off of me. It’s red and had a picture of Bush on it with evil written across his forehead. There are some things that I am willing to advertise, and my brand of politics is one of them.
I’ve been kinda bored lately. After that spate of gigs, it got quiet. Too damn quiet. I really need some stage time. The time off is not fun. No gang, I don’t like it.
When I went for my walk tonight, I stopped at the Ship for a diet coke. Three separate people approached me, to tell me that they recognized me from appearances at Yuks. It was really strange. It was flattering, but a little uncomfortable too. I guess its cause I never go up to a dentist or some other professional and say… “Nice job with that crown…” or “Way to prosecute that criminal…”
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s cool to get some validation for what I do, and I guess there’s a cult of personality thing there too, but it just makes me feel awkward.
You can always tell when someone recognizes you too. They all make the same kind of gesticulation. First there’s the cup of the hand over the mouth, while they whisper to whomever they are with, then the lingering stare, finally followed by the approach. It’s kinda funny actually. That pattern never changes.
Anyway it’s time to sleep.
I don't care what you think, unless it is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you…”
I’ve had this Nirvana song stuck in my head for 3 weeks straight. It’s called “Drain You” I’m sure it must mean something. (For the record, I love the song… but it seems to be haunting me.)
I did a lot of walking today. I walked to and from work, and then a bunch (the closest empirical measurement I could muster…) more tonight. It was nice and sunny today. The trees in my neigbourhood have finally surrendered their buds, and the shade along 13th avenue is lovely. I found myself stomping along, and blasting Bad Religion as loudly as the little ipod could muster. I had a good groove going on.
I got to wear my Punk Voter t-shirt today. That makes me happy. It’s the first time I’ve ever been able to wear it. When I got it in November, It was really, really tight. Now it’s billowing off of me. It’s red and had a picture of Bush on it with evil written across his forehead. There are some things that I am willing to advertise, and my brand of politics is one of them.
I’ve been kinda bored lately. After that spate of gigs, it got quiet. Too damn quiet. I really need some stage time. The time off is not fun. No gang, I don’t like it.
When I went for my walk tonight, I stopped at the Ship for a diet coke. Three separate people approached me, to tell me that they recognized me from appearances at Yuks. It was really strange. It was flattering, but a little uncomfortable too. I guess its cause I never go up to a dentist or some other professional and say… “Nice job with that crown…” or “Way to prosecute that criminal…”
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s cool to get some validation for what I do, and I guess there’s a cult of personality thing there too, but it just makes me feel awkward.
You can always tell when someone recognizes you too. They all make the same kind of gesticulation. First there’s the cup of the hand over the mouth, while they whisper to whomever they are with, then the lingering stare, finally followed by the approach. It’s kinda funny actually. That pattern never changes.
Anyway it’s time to sleep.
Friday, May 27, 2005
05/26/05 Today...
I slept late today. I have been exhausted lately. It’s the kind of tired that makes you feel brittle. It’s almost as if you might break in a gust of wind. It’s my own fault though. I have little to no compunction to sleep until I shut down. This is nothing new to me. Those who read this blog, or who know me well, know I don’t shut down. I crash.
I looked in the mirror when I got up. My eyes were bloodshot. I have never seen them that bloodshot before. I looked like I might have gone though a very hard night of drinking.
Alas that was not the case. At least that way I could blame it on something other that my dysfunctional circadian rhythm. They looked like little pink marbles. They felt heavy like glass too. In my sleep-deprived state, I imagine kids playing knock outs with them. I know this can’t be good.
Work was as work is. I got myself the obligatory caffeine injection, and got rolling along. We started a one off project that just didn’t seem to get off the ground very well. It was slow and ugly. My gang had gotten quite frustrated with it, and I don’t blame them. It was a rough go.
I got home later than I had planned on. It took forever to get finished tonight. Erin was up, but not for long. She conked out early, so I decided to go for a walk.
The night air was nice. Not warm, but not chilly either, it was what I decided to be the perfect walking weather. I made it to the Ship and Anchor. The patio was full, and music spilled out onto the street, like it was rushing to meet me. I popped in to see who was around. About twenty minutes later, I decided to make my way for home again.
That takes me to here. It’s late again, and yet I sit and type this. A damn fool I am.
I looked in the mirror when I got up. My eyes were bloodshot. I have never seen them that bloodshot before. I looked like I might have gone though a very hard night of drinking.
Alas that was not the case. At least that way I could blame it on something other that my dysfunctional circadian rhythm. They looked like little pink marbles. They felt heavy like glass too. In my sleep-deprived state, I imagine kids playing knock outs with them. I know this can’t be good.
Work was as work is. I got myself the obligatory caffeine injection, and got rolling along. We started a one off project that just didn’t seem to get off the ground very well. It was slow and ugly. My gang had gotten quite frustrated with it, and I don’t blame them. It was a rough go.
I got home later than I had planned on. It took forever to get finished tonight. Erin was up, but not for long. She conked out early, so I decided to go for a walk.
The night air was nice. Not warm, but not chilly either, it was what I decided to be the perfect walking weather. I made it to the Ship and Anchor. The patio was full, and music spilled out onto the street, like it was rushing to meet me. I popped in to see who was around. About twenty minutes later, I decided to make my way for home again.
That takes me to here. It’s late again, and yet I sit and type this. A damn fool I am.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
05/24/05 cont'd
7am. Not my most favourite time of day. I don’t understand how my wife does this everyday. What kind of cruel taskmaster decided that this was the perfect time of day for people to be productive? There should be a revolution. Utopia for me would be starting work at noon. That sounds much more reasonable. Some may think that this notion is outta step. I say it’s sane.
The walk to work was nice enough. It was surprisingly quiet. There was no line at the café. (A rare occurrence…) Those poor bastards have to be up even earlier.
I think our society would be a much better place if we started our days much later. Imagine tens of millions of people who are well-rested, and ready to start the day fresh. There would be no need for guns; wars would be a thing of the past, as would road rage. The lack of sleep that triggers human stupidity would no longer exist. Productivity would be high; sales of sleeping aids would be low.
On to other things…
I’m working on a joke about Sting. The joke, more specifically is about his thoughts on tantric sex. I won’t get into the details of the joke, but I started thinking about what else could have tantric used as a suffix. Here’s a list.
1)Tantric Violence (This is a concept who’s time has come…)
2)Tantric Ambivalence (I’d write something here, but… aw fuck it…)
3)Tantric Obesity (Pass the dutchie…)
4)Tantric Misery (Sadly this one works for far to many people I know…)
5)Tantric Tragedy (Everyone knows someone who embraces this as their own personal mantra.)
I’m positive I’ll come up with more…
End of Transmission
The walk to work was nice enough. It was surprisingly quiet. There was no line at the café. (A rare occurrence…) Those poor bastards have to be up even earlier.
I think our society would be a much better place if we started our days much later. Imagine tens of millions of people who are well-rested, and ready to start the day fresh. There would be no need for guns; wars would be a thing of the past, as would road rage. The lack of sleep that triggers human stupidity would no longer exist. Productivity would be high; sales of sleeping aids would be low.
On to other things…
I’m working on a joke about Sting. The joke, more specifically is about his thoughts on tantric sex. I won’t get into the details of the joke, but I started thinking about what else could have tantric used as a suffix. Here’s a list.
1)Tantric Violence (This is a concept who’s time has come…)
2)Tantric Ambivalence (I’d write something here, but… aw fuck it…)
3)Tantric Obesity (Pass the dutchie…)
4)Tantric Misery (Sadly this one works for far to many people I know…)
5)Tantric Tragedy (Everyone knows someone who embraces this as their own personal mantra.)
I’m positive I’ll come up with more…
End of Transmission
05/24/05
Yet another entry in “The I can’t sleep chronicles.”
It’s been a fun couple of weeks. Life is generally pretty good. Erin and I had a good celebration this weekend. One year and counting, so far so good.
I’ve gone the movies a lot over the past week. On Wednesday Daniel and I went to see the new Star Wars flick. I loved it. It is my belief that for the duration of that film, time had no meaning. For just about 3 hours, I was that same awestruck little boy sitting in the theater in 1977. It was brilliant. All in all, it was a delicious moment of self-indulgence.
I had so much fun, that I had to go again. Erin and I went with her folks. It had that same magic for me once again. I think in some ways, I may have an unhealthy love of all things Star Wars. But then again, without Star Wars, it’s unlikely that I would love movies as much as I do. It has become the praxis of my love of cinema.
It was fun to see all the geeks out in full force. There were costumes spanning the entire gamut of the Star Wars universe. It was definitely more than a film. It was an event. A moment when geeks everywhere knew it would be okay to come out and play, and they didn’t disappoint.
Last night, Erin and I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I must say I liked it too. It evoked the same sense of adventure that “Gladiator” did. It was a little slower in spots, but there was enough solid material there to keep my interest keen.
More later.
It’s been a fun couple of weeks. Life is generally pretty good. Erin and I had a good celebration this weekend. One year and counting, so far so good.
I’ve gone the movies a lot over the past week. On Wednesday Daniel and I went to see the new Star Wars flick. I loved it. It is my belief that for the duration of that film, time had no meaning. For just about 3 hours, I was that same awestruck little boy sitting in the theater in 1977. It was brilliant. All in all, it was a delicious moment of self-indulgence.
I had so much fun, that I had to go again. Erin and I went with her folks. It had that same magic for me once again. I think in some ways, I may have an unhealthy love of all things Star Wars. But then again, without Star Wars, it’s unlikely that I would love movies as much as I do. It has become the praxis of my love of cinema.
It was fun to see all the geeks out in full force. There were costumes spanning the entire gamut of the Star Wars universe. It was definitely more than a film. It was an event. A moment when geeks everywhere knew it would be okay to come out and play, and they didn’t disappoint.
Last night, Erin and I went to see Kingdom of Heaven. I must say I liked it too. It evoked the same sense of adventure that “Gladiator” did. It was a little slower in spots, but there was enough solid material there to keep my interest keen.
More later.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
05/17/05 Raining on Grandpa's garden
It’s 2:37 am; I can hear the rain ricocheting off the balcony. I love the rain. It reminds me of home. Newfoundland gets a lot of rain. It can be a little overwhelming sometimes, especially if it rains for weeks on end, but I miss it. I think I must have begun to count on it, as if it were the metronome that kept my life in time. It’s a strange comfort for me, likely because we just don’t get that much of it here in Calgary.
It’s been raining for a couple of hours now. It’s a good thing too; it’s been really dusty lately. The last few days have had a bit of grit to them, hopefully the water can wash it all away.
I fit into a pair of shorts that haven’t fit me properly for 2 years. That makes me happy. I’ve been doing well and the rewards are starting to make themselves known. My target is still about 30 pounds away. It seems like a mountain to climb, but at least I’m at the first base camp.
I went for a walk today. The smell of lilacs greeted me as I marched down 17th avenue. The fragrance reminds me of being at my grandparents’ house in the summer. There were always brilliant flowers in their backyard. My Grandfather was an amazing gardener. It was in his blood. He was a farmer first, and then when he retired, he moved to Calgary and got a job growing roses for a local greenhouse. It made him happy. He loved to putter around in the yard; I think it kept him going.
He always had the sweetest carrots in the yard. You could just pull them out of the dirt, give them a little squirt from the hose, and voila. They were almost like candy.
I miss him very much. He was just about the best person I have ever known. He was a kind and gentle soul, and he had this impish twinkle in his eye.
When I was in college, he did his best to make sure I never went without. Every time I left their house, usually after grandma (who was equally saintly…) had laid out a feast, I’d find a crisp 50-dollar bill in my pocket. I tried giving it back a few times, but never with much luck. He would pretend he had no idea where it came from, and then he’d just wink at me.
He always had the best advice. Sometimes it was masked as a story from his youth, but it always made sense. (Not always right away mind you… Sometimes it would go off like a little time bomb in my head as I headed home…) He helped me through a lot of heart ache, and was really patient with me, especially when I was less than patient with myself.
He’s been gone for about 6 years now. I was with him when he died. It was New Years day 1999. I had just gotten back from Saskatoon and had barely made it to see him. I managed to say goodbye. I’m not sure I ever got over hid death.
He was my moral compass. He was the measuring stick I used to pick my friends with. I heard somewhere that everyone you meet leaves a mark on your soul. I believe that to be true. I suspect that he left more than a mark. Most of the time it feels more like a riverbed.
Sometimes I still see him, usually in the strangest places. Once in a while I’m convinced I see him at the Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. It was his favorite.
I’m not sure why I decided to write about him tonight. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about the road too much. The distances are long, and there are a lot of farms along the way. I guess they just remind me of him.
Anyway I miss him.
It’s been raining for a couple of hours now. It’s a good thing too; it’s been really dusty lately. The last few days have had a bit of grit to them, hopefully the water can wash it all away.
I fit into a pair of shorts that haven’t fit me properly for 2 years. That makes me happy. I’ve been doing well and the rewards are starting to make themselves known. My target is still about 30 pounds away. It seems like a mountain to climb, but at least I’m at the first base camp.
I went for a walk today. The smell of lilacs greeted me as I marched down 17th avenue. The fragrance reminds me of being at my grandparents’ house in the summer. There were always brilliant flowers in their backyard. My Grandfather was an amazing gardener. It was in his blood. He was a farmer first, and then when he retired, he moved to Calgary and got a job growing roses for a local greenhouse. It made him happy. He loved to putter around in the yard; I think it kept him going.
He always had the sweetest carrots in the yard. You could just pull them out of the dirt, give them a little squirt from the hose, and voila. They were almost like candy.
I miss him very much. He was just about the best person I have ever known. He was a kind and gentle soul, and he had this impish twinkle in his eye.
When I was in college, he did his best to make sure I never went without. Every time I left their house, usually after grandma (who was equally saintly…) had laid out a feast, I’d find a crisp 50-dollar bill in my pocket. I tried giving it back a few times, but never with much luck. He would pretend he had no idea where it came from, and then he’d just wink at me.
He always had the best advice. Sometimes it was masked as a story from his youth, but it always made sense. (Not always right away mind you… Sometimes it would go off like a little time bomb in my head as I headed home…) He helped me through a lot of heart ache, and was really patient with me, especially when I was less than patient with myself.
He’s been gone for about 6 years now. I was with him when he died. It was New Years day 1999. I had just gotten back from Saskatoon and had barely made it to see him. I managed to say goodbye. I’m not sure I ever got over hid death.
He was my moral compass. He was the measuring stick I used to pick my friends with. I heard somewhere that everyone you meet leaves a mark on your soul. I believe that to be true. I suspect that he left more than a mark. Most of the time it feels more like a riverbed.
Sometimes I still see him, usually in the strangest places. Once in a while I’m convinced I see him at the Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. It was his favorite.
I’m not sure why I decided to write about him tonight. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about the road too much. The distances are long, and there are a lot of farms along the way. I guess they just remind me of him.
Anyway I miss him.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
05/12/05 Home Sweet Home
I’m home for a while. I’m happy to be here too. Happily I don’t have another road gig till the second week of June. I feel like I’ve been living in a suitcase for most of the New Year. I’m not complaining about it, but there is definitely something to be said for home. I think I took the creature comforts for granted. Nothing makes me happier than my own bed, and the one I love sleeping next to me.
Other stuff...
It seems the stage time has done me some good though, I feel stronger and more capable than I did, and have started writing again. It’s still dirty, but I have decided to embrace that for what it is. This is the place where I am right now, and this material has it’s own value. I’m sure that it will evolve as everything does, but for now it’s as good as it gets.
This concept of being a rostered professional comic is cool. The comics I had idolized as an amateur have become contemporaries. It’s a good feeling. I have started my journey into the real business of Stand Up, and damn it, I like it.
There are some things that I don’t like about this business. It’s rampant with politics, and it’s very difficult to stay away from it. The fragility of most comics’ egos doesn’t help the matter either. It’s like adding white gas to an already raging fire. There are too many little squabbles between what should be grown adults. Sometimes they boil over, and sometimes they just sit and simmer for years, either way no one wins. Almost always others get caught in the middle of the feud de jour, and with remarkable certainty they get hurt.
Other stuff...
It seems the stage time has done me some good though, I feel stronger and more capable than I did, and have started writing again. It’s still dirty, but I have decided to embrace that for what it is. This is the place where I am right now, and this material has it’s own value. I’m sure that it will evolve as everything does, but for now it’s as good as it gets.
This concept of being a rostered professional comic is cool. The comics I had idolized as an amateur have become contemporaries. It’s a good feeling. I have started my journey into the real business of Stand Up, and damn it, I like it.
There are some things that I don’t like about this business. It’s rampant with politics, and it’s very difficult to stay away from it. The fragility of most comics’ egos doesn’t help the matter either. It’s like adding white gas to an already raging fire. There are too many little squabbles between what should be grown adults. Sometimes they boil over, and sometimes they just sit and simmer for years, either way no one wins. Almost always others get caught in the middle of the feud de jour, and with remarkable certainty they get hurt.
Monday, May 09, 2005
05/09/05
The trip to Saskatchewan was fun. After being friends with Daniel for more than 5 years, we finally managed to hit the road together. (Yuks finally relented… or more to the point, we were both out of the shit books at the same time…. Kudos to Holly for putting this together…)
Dan is a curious, and kinda impish fellow. He uses charm to his advantage, and has a keen sense of his own abilities. He is definitely a comedy warrior, but it's obvious that the road has clearly left its mark on him. He drags on his personality with impunity, and lets it drive his show. His character leaves a frank and distinct impression, but its force of will that makes him funny. (Very funny indeed…)
His freewheeling style makes his show natural, and very easy going. Its pace is dictated by his whim. (One might even say it tends to be rather breezy…) But at no point is he compromising. When he decides to exert more control over an audience, they become better for it. He's a treat to watch.
Saskatoon was a very good show. I did well. There were a couple of soft jokes, but overall it was solid. I like it there. The people in Saskatoon are very nice, open sort of folk. Everyone I talked with had a warmth, and a little light in their eyes. It was a very positive experience.
I ran into a former employee of mine working at the hotel we were staying at. It was very strange to see him. (Given that the set of circumstances that led to his being "freed up for new opportunities" were quite strange in and amongst themselves…) He seemed happy, and looked healthier than I can ever recall seeing him.
After the show, which went rather well, we mingled with the crowd for a bit, and then went off to have a drink. Dan managed to strike up a conversation that met his fancy and I went off in search of some live music with a few of the locals.
I saw an average cover band, and had a couple of drinks, and met some nice people.
Overall it was a good day.
Regina, was not as good, but still went well. We were warned in advance that the crowd was going to be small (which helped…) and the show had a different feel to it. It was a slower pace, and the crowd reactions, while positive, were smaller.
The majority of the audience was made up of RCMP cadets. (Apparently I seem to attract them… Like last year in William's lake…) Happily they were pretty young, and still liked to party.
It wasn't a wild night. I was asleep by about 1:15 or so, but I had some odd dreams that I'm still trying to figure out.
The strangest thing about the trip was this. In Saskatchewan retailers have to hide cigarettes behind a curtain. The rationale employed here is that by hiding them, they can't be a lure for children. I think that's brilliantly stupid. Once again smokers are being treated like social pariahs. It felt like I was trying to buy porn. Soon you'll have to get them wrapped in brown paper.
Dan is a curious, and kinda impish fellow. He uses charm to his advantage, and has a keen sense of his own abilities. He is definitely a comedy warrior, but it's obvious that the road has clearly left its mark on him. He drags on his personality with impunity, and lets it drive his show. His character leaves a frank and distinct impression, but its force of will that makes him funny. (Very funny indeed…)
His freewheeling style makes his show natural, and very easy going. Its pace is dictated by his whim. (One might even say it tends to be rather breezy…) But at no point is he compromising. When he decides to exert more control over an audience, they become better for it. He's a treat to watch.
Saskatoon was a very good show. I did well. There were a couple of soft jokes, but overall it was solid. I like it there. The people in Saskatoon are very nice, open sort of folk. Everyone I talked with had a warmth, and a little light in their eyes. It was a very positive experience.
I ran into a former employee of mine working at the hotel we were staying at. It was very strange to see him. (Given that the set of circumstances that led to his being "freed up for new opportunities" were quite strange in and amongst themselves…) He seemed happy, and looked healthier than I can ever recall seeing him.
After the show, which went rather well, we mingled with the crowd for a bit, and then went off to have a drink. Dan managed to strike up a conversation that met his fancy and I went off in search of some live music with a few of the locals.
I saw an average cover band, and had a couple of drinks, and met some nice people.
Overall it was a good day.
Regina, was not as good, but still went well. We were warned in advance that the crowd was going to be small (which helped…) and the show had a different feel to it. It was a slower pace, and the crowd reactions, while positive, were smaller.
The majority of the audience was made up of RCMP cadets. (Apparently I seem to attract them… Like last year in William's lake…) Happily they were pretty young, and still liked to party.
It wasn't a wild night. I was asleep by about 1:15 or so, but I had some odd dreams that I'm still trying to figure out.
The strangest thing about the trip was this. In Saskatchewan retailers have to hide cigarettes behind a curtain. The rationale employed here is that by hiding them, they can't be a lure for children. I think that's brilliantly stupid. Once again smokers are being treated like social pariahs. It felt like I was trying to buy porn. Soon you'll have to get them wrapped in brown paper.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
05/05/05
So far, I’m having a pretty good week. My friend Daryl managed a safe return from Oz. He’s a busy guy these days, in for two days and then off to Toronto. I’m glad he’s doing well. He seems to be in a much better way than the last time I saw him. The Melbourne festival seems to have done him some good.
This weekend I’m off to Saskatoon and then Regina. I’m looking forward to it. The last few shows I’ve had have been a little shaky, (this is a bit of an understatement…) and this run should be good to help scrape off some of the taint of Interior BC that always seems to stick to me.
The last time I went out there was over a year ago, and I have to say if this time is even half as much fun, it will rock.
Week 5 of the diet is going well. I’m getting a little sick of soup and crave for things that I know are beyond bad for me. Just about every time I pass by KFC my brain starts to churn out sick, twisted little fantasies about fried chicken. So far I have resisted. But I fear its only a matter of time before the jig is up.
This weekend I’m off to Saskatoon and then Regina. I’m looking forward to it. The last few shows I’ve had have been a little shaky, (this is a bit of an understatement…) and this run should be good to help scrape off some of the taint of Interior BC that always seems to stick to me.
The last time I went out there was over a year ago, and I have to say if this time is even half as much fun, it will rock.
Week 5 of the diet is going well. I’m getting a little sick of soup and crave for things that I know are beyond bad for me. Just about every time I pass by KFC my brain starts to churn out sick, twisted little fantasies about fried chicken. So far I have resisted. But I fear its only a matter of time before the jig is up.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Acme Brand Batman costume...
batmanNot
Originally uploaded by whiskeydrenched.
Now I'll finally catch that Road Runner... BEEP BEEP!!!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
05/01/05
I’m tired today. I’m feeling a little run down. I woke up later than I wanted to. Erin came in and tried to rouse me at noon, but I was still in a mostly zombie like state at that point. Not even the first coffee of the day had any effect. If I had been anymore out of it I would have bolts in my neck, and a curious surgical scar running the length of my forehead.
I didn’t work out today, but rather opted for a walk to The Planet cafe. I figured since it was a good 30-minute walk from where I live, that I would get my daily-required exercise without having to lift weights. My arms already feel like they weight about a million pounds, and I would probably wind up pulling them out of their sockets in the process. (That scenario is a little too Looney Toons for me today…)
The Planet seems more sterile than the last time I was here. I used to take comfort in coming here. It was a bastion (one of the last…) for those who cherish the arts, and beacon for those of similar interests. Now it seems more like a place for the “Try Hards” and not the “Die Hards” of yore. It just doesn’t have the same kinda soul that it once did.
Perhaps I’ve just been away from it for too long. Maybe I’m just misty eyed for the “Good old days.” I hope that’s not it. That would suck. That would mean I’ve been infected by the curse of getting older, and suffering from the worst of its symptoms, being “outta touch.”
I’m not sure why that seems important to me, I should know better. It’s probably denial about getting older. I’m beginning to equate this whole aging thing with the death of the Peter Pan character living inside me. My best guess is that it’s a juvenile evasion of the adult priorities that life has handed me.
Damn it, I hate that. I hate that we get programmed to give up on all the fun things in life, so we can be secure. I hate that survival means no more shopping cart races down a giant hill, or getting really high and trying to climb craggy rocks. (I realize the stupidity of this… and yet it still makes me sad…)
This is starting to sound like I think that I’m a old man. I do not. I’m just starting to understand that I have some limitations. Some of them imposed by mother nature, and some self imposed, but limitations nonetheless.
Gone are the days of feeling totally indestructible. I feel only sort of indestructible these days. I’ve become Indestructible within what I call a given set of parameters. (Fuck that’s sad.) I think that’s why I like “Jackass” so much. It’s all the stupid things I’d love to do, (And in some cases have already done…but would willingly do again…) if I still had the bone density and the mettle.
Last night I watched the remake of the classic “Dawn of the Dead.” I must admit I loved it. It wasn’t really all that close to the original, but it sure was goofy fun. Then again, I’m a little biased I guess. I have always been a sucker for Zombie movies.
I remember when I was in my early teens, every Friday night Steve Guy and I would go to the video store and rent as many cheesy horror movies as we could watch, load up on gummy bears and other rotten treats and just vegetate.
I used to love it. Every chainsaw slash, every suspicious pool of blood, and every psychopathic mutant hell bent on revenge, all of it… It made me howl with laughter. It’s funny how that can seem innocent, (Being just about as graphic as violence can get…) but it was.
I didn’t work out today, but rather opted for a walk to The Planet cafe. I figured since it was a good 30-minute walk from where I live, that I would get my daily-required exercise without having to lift weights. My arms already feel like they weight about a million pounds, and I would probably wind up pulling them out of their sockets in the process. (That scenario is a little too Looney Toons for me today…)
The Planet seems more sterile than the last time I was here. I used to take comfort in coming here. It was a bastion (one of the last…) for those who cherish the arts, and beacon for those of similar interests. Now it seems more like a place for the “Try Hards” and not the “Die Hards” of yore. It just doesn’t have the same kinda soul that it once did.
Perhaps I’ve just been away from it for too long. Maybe I’m just misty eyed for the “Good old days.” I hope that’s not it. That would suck. That would mean I’ve been infected by the curse of getting older, and suffering from the worst of its symptoms, being “outta touch.”
I’m not sure why that seems important to me, I should know better. It’s probably denial about getting older. I’m beginning to equate this whole aging thing with the death of the Peter Pan character living inside me. My best guess is that it’s a juvenile evasion of the adult priorities that life has handed me.
Damn it, I hate that. I hate that we get programmed to give up on all the fun things in life, so we can be secure. I hate that survival means no more shopping cart races down a giant hill, or getting really high and trying to climb craggy rocks. (I realize the stupidity of this… and yet it still makes me sad…)
This is starting to sound like I think that I’m a old man. I do not. I’m just starting to understand that I have some limitations. Some of them imposed by mother nature, and some self imposed, but limitations nonetheless.
Gone are the days of feeling totally indestructible. I feel only sort of indestructible these days. I’ve become Indestructible within what I call a given set of parameters. (Fuck that’s sad.) I think that’s why I like “Jackass” so much. It’s all the stupid things I’d love to do, (And in some cases have already done…but would willingly do again…) if I still had the bone density and the mettle.
Last night I watched the remake of the classic “Dawn of the Dead.” I must admit I loved it. It wasn’t really all that close to the original, but it sure was goofy fun. Then again, I’m a little biased I guess. I have always been a sucker for Zombie movies.
I remember when I was in my early teens, every Friday night Steve Guy and I would go to the video store and rent as many cheesy horror movies as we could watch, load up on gummy bears and other rotten treats and just vegetate.
I used to love it. Every chainsaw slash, every suspicious pool of blood, and every psychopathic mutant hell bent on revenge, all of it… It made me howl with laughter. It’s funny how that can seem innocent, (Being just about as graphic as violence can get…) but it was.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
04/28/05
I had a gig last night. I went to Fairmont Springs with Doc Barham. He was a good guy to travel with. I think we hit it off. We traded war stories from the glory days of old school punk, and had a good time trashing Baby Bush.
Fairmont Springs is a little resort town in the interior of British Columbia. The Golf course there has a show. More to the point, they have a room, a big one, which was mostly empty. (A room designed for about 200, and I’d stay with all honesty there was less than 10 percent of that…) It was notably very cold and unforgiving. (I’m pretty sure it’s a place where they send comics just to keep them humble…)
Even the bar staff were borderline hateful. There was an obvious air of resentment from the second we walked through the door. The staff at the venue were quite curt, and seemed really put out by having a comedy show in the bar. I was shocked. I don’t expect handshakes and kisses on the cheek, but something more than a grimace might be nice.
The bar barely made an attempt to put the show on. They should have put up a sign that said “Please leave your dignity and self esteem at the door.” At least that way you could be forewarned. (I’m not sure that being forearmed would have mattered much.)
The bartender (in a polite, yet clearly annoyed fashion…) walked up to the stage with me, and then just kinda pointed at the P.A. I got the crash course, and then he lumbered off.
So I started the show… And it sled straight to hell from there. It just might have been the most awkward time I have ever had on stage. I felt like I was trapped in a fishbowl. I’ve never been gawked at like that before. It was like I had just told the audience I set fire to all their children. If this kick to my ego had been measured in monetary terms, I’d be fighting off debt collectors and loan sharks right now.
Doc’s set wasn’t much better either. He fought hard to win them over, but it was like watching someone try to squeeze blood from a turnip. He was disappointed, but put up with it like a trooper.
This morning I had a chat with the woman who runs the Spruce Grove Motel. (Our quaint accommodations… Nice, but a little sparse…) Apparently the little fracas that happened in Cranbrook last week has made the rounds. She had heard that the show had been going well (I chose not to correct that assertion…) and then chaos erupted.
It feels like I have some sort of BC monkey on my back. I never do well there. (Other than Vancouver…) The interior seems to have a big stick in its ass. Perhaps it’s the kooky fundamentalist Christian thing that runs rampant there. It’s more than a little ominous. There are signs that say things like “Jesus is the Lord of this Valley” all over the place, frankly its creepy.
I will never begrudge anyone for his or her faith, it’s not my right, or my place, but as near as I can tell, it’s a very personal thing. (Or at least it should be.) I keep my spiritual beliefs close to my chest, because they belong to me. No one else needs to know them.
I fail to understand the need for billboard-sized proclamations. I think that’s unique to Christian based belief systems. You never see Buddhists hauling out the plywood and paint to advertise. Muslims seem to get along nicely with out it too. (Other than the odd flaming effigy… but really that’s a political thing based more on the right to exist than a proclamation of faith.)
Anyway… I’m tired now.
Fairmont Springs is a little resort town in the interior of British Columbia. The Golf course there has a show. More to the point, they have a room, a big one, which was mostly empty. (A room designed for about 200, and I’d stay with all honesty there was less than 10 percent of that…) It was notably very cold and unforgiving. (I’m pretty sure it’s a place where they send comics just to keep them humble…)
Even the bar staff were borderline hateful. There was an obvious air of resentment from the second we walked through the door. The staff at the venue were quite curt, and seemed really put out by having a comedy show in the bar. I was shocked. I don’t expect handshakes and kisses on the cheek, but something more than a grimace might be nice.
The bar barely made an attempt to put the show on. They should have put up a sign that said “Please leave your dignity and self esteem at the door.” At least that way you could be forewarned. (I’m not sure that being forearmed would have mattered much.)
The bartender (in a polite, yet clearly annoyed fashion…) walked up to the stage with me, and then just kinda pointed at the P.A. I got the crash course, and then he lumbered off.
So I started the show… And it sled straight to hell from there. It just might have been the most awkward time I have ever had on stage. I felt like I was trapped in a fishbowl. I’ve never been gawked at like that before. It was like I had just told the audience I set fire to all their children. If this kick to my ego had been measured in monetary terms, I’d be fighting off debt collectors and loan sharks right now.
Doc’s set wasn’t much better either. He fought hard to win them over, but it was like watching someone try to squeeze blood from a turnip. He was disappointed, but put up with it like a trooper.
This morning I had a chat with the woman who runs the Spruce Grove Motel. (Our quaint accommodations… Nice, but a little sparse…) Apparently the little fracas that happened in Cranbrook last week has made the rounds. She had heard that the show had been going well (I chose not to correct that assertion…) and then chaos erupted.
It feels like I have some sort of BC monkey on my back. I never do well there. (Other than Vancouver…) The interior seems to have a big stick in its ass. Perhaps it’s the kooky fundamentalist Christian thing that runs rampant there. It’s more than a little ominous. There are signs that say things like “Jesus is the Lord of this Valley” all over the place, frankly its creepy.
I will never begrudge anyone for his or her faith, it’s not my right, or my place, but as near as I can tell, it’s a very personal thing. (Or at least it should be.) I keep my spiritual beliefs close to my chest, because they belong to me. No one else needs to know them.
I fail to understand the need for billboard-sized proclamations. I think that’s unique to Christian based belief systems. You never see Buddhists hauling out the plywood and paint to advertise. Muslims seem to get along nicely with out it too. (Other than the odd flaming effigy… but really that’s a political thing based more on the right to exist than a proclamation of faith.)
Anyway… I’m tired now.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
04/26/05
Here are some things I have been thinking about (In no particular order…)
1) I think the new Pope is pretty spooky looking. I have a feeling he won’t be around too long. I really had hoped that the Church would have looked to the future. I would have thought that a Black or Hispanic Pope would have done wonders for the image.
2) I really want to take a cooking course. Perhaps some sort of Asian Cuisine. It would be fun to learn something new.
3) I need to find a way to relax and sleep better. Maybe I’ll try meditation.
4) I think I want to volunteer with some sort of good cause organization. (My baby steps to redemption… but from what I’m not too sure…)
5) I need to write a whole lot more. I have been really slack lately.
6) I need to go back to Newfoundland soon. The homing beacon is on.
7) I’m going to start writing snail mail letters to people. It’s becoming a lost art.
8) I need to start reading the newspaper again. I let that one slide for too long.
1) I think the new Pope is pretty spooky looking. I have a feeling he won’t be around too long. I really had hoped that the Church would have looked to the future. I would have thought that a Black or Hispanic Pope would have done wonders for the image.
2) I really want to take a cooking course. Perhaps some sort of Asian Cuisine. It would be fun to learn something new.
3) I need to find a way to relax and sleep better. Maybe I’ll try meditation.
4) I think I want to volunteer with some sort of good cause organization. (My baby steps to redemption… but from what I’m not too sure…)
5) I need to write a whole lot more. I have been really slack lately.
6) I need to go back to Newfoundland soon. The homing beacon is on.
7) I’m going to start writing snail mail letters to people. It’s becoming a lost art.
8) I need to start reading the newspaper again. I let that one slide for too long.
05/25/05 "Saturday Night Main Event..."
I found a quote that best expresses my feelings about my trip to Cranbrook.
“Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.” - Max Ehrmann from The Desiderata
If Toronto is the cultural heart of Canada, (Many would argue this… I do not…) then Cranbrook is its spiritual armpit. People there have cloistered themselves from what’s happening in the rest of the country, and Damn it… they’ve done a smashing job of it. You can almost see a neon sign above the locals’ heads that says “Closed for Business…”
This mountain locale has all the hearty charm of a punch to the crotch. (That actually might be too gentle…)
The shows in Cranbrook were shakey to say the very least. Friday went well (ish). The crowd started small, but got progressively larger through the course of my set. They were there to laugh, and eventually warmed up enough to have a little fun. Truthfully it was the best I could hope for, and I knew it.
Saturday on the other hand was a complete and total shit show. The crowd was quite small, and there was a heckler… okay, really it was just a painful woman who was hammered and insisted on being rude. Every time I opened my mouth, she had something to say. I played with her for a while, letting her expose her ignorance to everyone. (Sadly no one really noticed.) I figured that would be enough. I figured wrong.
When I brought B.J. on stage, she started in on him. She was relentless. To B.J.’s credit, he was really gentle with her at first. Eventually (about 10 minutes later…) his fuse got short, and he barked at her. She still wouldn’t stop. He snapped something rude at her, and in a flash it got ugly.
Her husband took exception, and tried to rush the stage. He was quite small, and just about as lippy. Realizing that B.J. outweighed him by about 140 pounds, he backed off. (Albeit just briefly…)
He started kicking tables and chairs, and kept yelling, “Come on Bitch… Let’s go…”
B.J. remained remarkably calm… I was impressed. I was pretty sure that he could have ripped the little moron in half without even blinking. He stayed on stage and tried to salvage the show. (As much as he could… It was pretty much ashes after that…)
Then the bouncers showed up and dragged him out into the hall. Suddenly there was a loud crash that could be heard through the doors.
The dumb ass punched the wall in the lobby. He put his fist right through the gypsum. Seemingly not happy about this singular act of destruction, he slammed open the exit door, stomped down a set of stairs, and started kicking in a fence. This was a man on a mission. That’s when the RCMP showed up. I suspect that his night got a little more entertaining after that.
I imagine that the marital discourse in the doublewide later on was… in a word… grim.
On a side note, the hotel staff were fantastic. They were on top of things right away. They deserve a pat on the back.
I find it sad that some people are willing to wear their ignorance like a badge of honour. Even sadder is when others fail to recognize it. In a world where words like decency and morality are thrown about like a nickel and dime store slogan, it seems they have no actual meaning. The words have become bankrupt. (At least when benchmarked against behaviour.)
But really, the whole night had a miserable tinge to it. I could sense there was trouble afoot. It’s funny how you can almost smell it sometimes.
If it hadn’t been for the cool documentary about KISS on television, I’d be likely to say the trip was a bit of a bust.
“Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.” - Max Ehrmann from The Desiderata
If Toronto is the cultural heart of Canada, (Many would argue this… I do not…) then Cranbrook is its spiritual armpit. People there have cloistered themselves from what’s happening in the rest of the country, and Damn it… they’ve done a smashing job of it. You can almost see a neon sign above the locals’ heads that says “Closed for Business…”
This mountain locale has all the hearty charm of a punch to the crotch. (That actually might be too gentle…)
The shows in Cranbrook were shakey to say the very least. Friday went well (ish). The crowd started small, but got progressively larger through the course of my set. They were there to laugh, and eventually warmed up enough to have a little fun. Truthfully it was the best I could hope for, and I knew it.
Saturday on the other hand was a complete and total shit show. The crowd was quite small, and there was a heckler… okay, really it was just a painful woman who was hammered and insisted on being rude. Every time I opened my mouth, she had something to say. I played with her for a while, letting her expose her ignorance to everyone. (Sadly no one really noticed.) I figured that would be enough. I figured wrong.
When I brought B.J. on stage, she started in on him. She was relentless. To B.J.’s credit, he was really gentle with her at first. Eventually (about 10 minutes later…) his fuse got short, and he barked at her. She still wouldn’t stop. He snapped something rude at her, and in a flash it got ugly.
Her husband took exception, and tried to rush the stage. He was quite small, and just about as lippy. Realizing that B.J. outweighed him by about 140 pounds, he backed off. (Albeit just briefly…)
He started kicking tables and chairs, and kept yelling, “Come on Bitch… Let’s go…”
B.J. remained remarkably calm… I was impressed. I was pretty sure that he could have ripped the little moron in half without even blinking. He stayed on stage and tried to salvage the show. (As much as he could… It was pretty much ashes after that…)
Then the bouncers showed up and dragged him out into the hall. Suddenly there was a loud crash that could be heard through the doors.
The dumb ass punched the wall in the lobby. He put his fist right through the gypsum. Seemingly not happy about this singular act of destruction, he slammed open the exit door, stomped down a set of stairs, and started kicking in a fence. This was a man on a mission. That’s when the RCMP showed up. I suspect that his night got a little more entertaining after that.
I imagine that the marital discourse in the doublewide later on was… in a word… grim.
On a side note, the hotel staff were fantastic. They were on top of things right away. They deserve a pat on the back.
I find it sad that some people are willing to wear their ignorance like a badge of honour. Even sadder is when others fail to recognize it. In a world where words like decency and morality are thrown about like a nickel and dime store slogan, it seems they have no actual meaning. The words have become bankrupt. (At least when benchmarked against behaviour.)
But really, the whole night had a miserable tinge to it. I could sense there was trouble afoot. It’s funny how you can almost smell it sometimes.
If it hadn’t been for the cool documentary about KISS on television, I’d be likely to say the trip was a bit of a bust.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
04/21/05 "i see you Baby... shakin' that ass..."
I ‘ve had a weird day. I spent the early part of it wandering around Stephen Avenue handing out pamphlets. It’s amazing what lengths people will go to avoid you. I understand it though. I’m not one for people approaching me out of the blue either, and I really hate it when they want something from me.
Stephen Avenue is a neat place. It’s the best mix of what Calgary has to offer in terms of its denizens. There are white-collar pretty people, the subjugated blue collars, and a strange mix of the infirm, and those trying to shake down all of the previously mentioned.
I saw a guy today trying to pick up women on the avenue. He had long greasy hair, and felt that his physical attributes permitted him to negate the employment of a shirt. (A second opinion here would have been the wiser course of action…) He did however seem to think that an ill-fitting nylon jacket (unzipped) would aid in advancing his cause. He looked like a wrestler, not WWE style mind you, more like those wannabes that play in trailer parks and motor inns.
This was his clever pick up technique.
Wrestler Dude: Hey baby… (Whistle) How about some of that? Come on baby… Hey… don’t walk away baby… aw come on… where are ya going?
I think he may have set gender relations back about a decade.
From what I could tell, his success ratio was clocking in at just under zero. Well done… Well done indeed.
I spent the better part of the day chewing on some sad news. A friend of my family’s has fallen in with his demons. The anti-hero of this story is a 55-year-old man who had everything, and then pissed it all away. He had an amazing job that paid him handsomely. (Truthfully it was a king’s ransom to most of us average folks.)
Then he discovered crack. (Which really is the devil’s right hand.) His whole life collapsed.
He lost his job, his wife, and worst of all, his soul. This really makes me believe that the concept of “recreational use” is really quite a risky business proposition. Once you let that demon out of the box, nothing but a world of chaos remains. I’m glad that’s a lesson learned vicariously.
Erin and I went to the movies with my sister. It was great to see her. It’s been a while. I miss her; she has a gentleness that is quite calming. As far as siblings go she’s a kick ass sister. I haven’t always been the best brother, but I’m trying to get better at it. I hope she knows that.
She amazes me. She always remembers birthdays, and special occasions. She always has a little gift, and it’s always thoughtful. She takes the time to do the little things. She is a rock star.
Tomorrow I’m going to Cranbrook. I haven’t been there for years. The last time I was there, things didn’t go so well. That was my fist ever road gig. It sucked. I sucked. (There was a lot of suckage…) Ironically I’m going with the same headliner. I don’t have any expectations at this point. My plan is just to stand there and do my shit. Come what may.
I found out this week that I’m going to Saskatoon and Regina with my friend Daniel Rock. This pleases me greatly. He is really one of my most favorite people on the planet. He’s one of the few souls in my life whose advice isn’t taken with a grain of salt.
I know he dislikes the fact that I don’t email him, but I hate email. This blog (initially at least…) was designed so I could tell the people I care about what is happening with me. He was one of the principle folks I had in mind at the time. (Sort of like those family newsletters you get at Christmas… but no one is wearing a shitty reindeer sweater…)
Anyway that’s it for now…
Stephen Avenue is a neat place. It’s the best mix of what Calgary has to offer in terms of its denizens. There are white-collar pretty people, the subjugated blue collars, and a strange mix of the infirm, and those trying to shake down all of the previously mentioned.
I saw a guy today trying to pick up women on the avenue. He had long greasy hair, and felt that his physical attributes permitted him to negate the employment of a shirt. (A second opinion here would have been the wiser course of action…) He did however seem to think that an ill-fitting nylon jacket (unzipped) would aid in advancing his cause. He looked like a wrestler, not WWE style mind you, more like those wannabes that play in trailer parks and motor inns.
This was his clever pick up technique.
Wrestler Dude: Hey baby… (Whistle) How about some of that? Come on baby… Hey… don’t walk away baby… aw come on… where are ya going?
I think he may have set gender relations back about a decade.
From what I could tell, his success ratio was clocking in at just under zero. Well done… Well done indeed.
I spent the better part of the day chewing on some sad news. A friend of my family’s has fallen in with his demons. The anti-hero of this story is a 55-year-old man who had everything, and then pissed it all away. He had an amazing job that paid him handsomely. (Truthfully it was a king’s ransom to most of us average folks.)
Then he discovered crack. (Which really is the devil’s right hand.) His whole life collapsed.
He lost his job, his wife, and worst of all, his soul. This really makes me believe that the concept of “recreational use” is really quite a risky business proposition. Once you let that demon out of the box, nothing but a world of chaos remains. I’m glad that’s a lesson learned vicariously.
Erin and I went to the movies with my sister. It was great to see her. It’s been a while. I miss her; she has a gentleness that is quite calming. As far as siblings go she’s a kick ass sister. I haven’t always been the best brother, but I’m trying to get better at it. I hope she knows that.
She amazes me. She always remembers birthdays, and special occasions. She always has a little gift, and it’s always thoughtful. She takes the time to do the little things. She is a rock star.
Tomorrow I’m going to Cranbrook. I haven’t been there for years. The last time I was there, things didn’t go so well. That was my fist ever road gig. It sucked. I sucked. (There was a lot of suckage…) Ironically I’m going with the same headliner. I don’t have any expectations at this point. My plan is just to stand there and do my shit. Come what may.
I found out this week that I’m going to Saskatoon and Regina with my friend Daniel Rock. This pleases me greatly. He is really one of my most favorite people on the planet. He’s one of the few souls in my life whose advice isn’t taken with a grain of salt.
I know he dislikes the fact that I don’t email him, but I hate email. This blog (initially at least…) was designed so I could tell the people I care about what is happening with me. He was one of the principle folks I had in mind at the time. (Sort of like those family newsletters you get at Christmas… but no one is wearing a shitty reindeer sweater…)
Anyway that’s it for now…
Monday, April 18, 2005
04/18/05 The Monkey That Finally Got Off My Back...
The Saturday shows worked out nicely. They came together really well. The first show was fantastic. There were 340 people, and there was this electric feeling in the air. You could feel it, it was a brilliant tension. When I walked off stage, Denise, and Carol, (the two people who helped me the most over the years…) were beaming… and that just made the whole thing more amazing for me. I wish that Brett had been there, he would have loved it.
The second show wasn’t as good, but it was still pretty solid. It felt great to take on the crowd and win. After a very long time, I managed to stake my claim on that stage. I proved that I belong there. (I always knew… But I’ve had some detractors… and they needed to know too.) There are new goals placed ahead of me now. Look out planet, I got some shit to say, and it’s gonna be loud.
I wrote a couple of new jokes on stage, and they came out effortlessly. There is this real, and very natural feel to them. I have found a new, more playful way, and it’s really helping to flesh out my personality. I’m really excited to keep throwing new stuff out. I feel like I’m on a roll.
Freddy was did guest spots all weekend. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He makes me laugh. I think it’s because he mutters, and somehow it’s usually funny. He’s a strange, curiously distracted man.
Anyway I’m tired and need to sleep.
The second show wasn’t as good, but it was still pretty solid. It felt great to take on the crowd and win. After a very long time, I managed to stake my claim on that stage. I proved that I belong there. (I always knew… But I’ve had some detractors… and they needed to know too.) There are new goals placed ahead of me now. Look out planet, I got some shit to say, and it’s gonna be loud.
I wrote a couple of new jokes on stage, and they came out effortlessly. There is this real, and very natural feel to them. I have found a new, more playful way, and it’s really helping to flesh out my personality. I’m really excited to keep throwing new stuff out. I feel like I’m on a roll.
Freddy was did guest spots all weekend. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. He makes me laugh. I think it’s because he mutters, and somehow it’s usually funny. He’s a strange, curiously distracted man.
Anyway I’m tired and need to sleep.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
04/16/05 "Here we are, the Princes of the Universe..."
Thursday was huge pile of stinky flaming crap. Smoke free night at Yuk Yuks. It sucked. How one show could suck so much is beyond my comprehension. The crowd was bad, (Again!!!) In fact they were really fucking bad. I wish I could say it was my fault; at least that way there might some explanation for their temperament. The show pretty much ended the way it began, with a (quiet, alone, hiding in the dark kind of) whimper.
Last night was much better. In the first show I had a solid set. After a couple of bad shows, it was nice to get that monkey off my back. I felt it was a little wordy in spots, but overall it went really well. The second show kicked ass. The audience was quite rowdy, but I managed to turn that into big laughter quite quickly. I had to smack down a heckler, but it took only one tap, and it was done. He decided early in our confrontation that it was a brighter idea to sit quietly and behave for me. After that, the show was all gravy. The M.C on the other hand, was less than impressed with the audience, and seemed to get a little belligerent after the show.
I understood his point of view, and in spirit I was right there with him, but it served no purpose to get uppity about it. The damage was done, and nothing could change that. Friday late show crowds are always loud and obnoxious. It doesn’t matter where you are in the country; Friday late shows always have the potential to get out of hand. It’s a fact, and just one of the many hazards of the job. Sure it’s frustrating, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.
Actually, he’s a bit of an odd duck. There is a lot of anger brewing inside him. Half the time, he comes off as cold, and speaks only when he’s been spoken too. Then he changes, and becomes chatty. It’s like a little switch has been flipped. I’m not sure if he’s shy, or just a dick. Oddly though, I like the guy. Maybe it’s because I see a fair amount of myself in him. The biggest difference between us is that I have managed to quell some of the bitterness, and he is enveloped by it.
Onto other stuff…
The diet is still going well. I haven’t had a much of a chance to work out this week, but I will get back at it with earnest on Sunday. I’m feeling really good. I’ve gotten stronger, and better still, my appetite has diminished to something more reasonable…
To reward myself for staying true to the diet, I bought myself a pair of old school Vans skate shoes. I love them. They are sooooo comfy. I’d forgotten how much I love them.
Next…
There’s a new band (to me anyway…) called Bloc Party. I like them. They’re quite heavy, but have really catchy melodies. There is a lot of big woody sounding bass and loud crisp, snappy drums. If you like Yo la Tengo, Fugazi or Superchunk, then this is a disc for you.
Now to the strange…
Apparently, last night there was a man shot by the police here in Calgary. According to the newspaper, he was wielding a sword. That’s a little nutty. What kind of person carries a sword? (Excusing the historical context for a minute…) Perhaps he watched too many episodes of “The Highlander.” (I would argue that any number greater than 1 episode is too many… but I digress…) Anyway he got shot. I’m not sure I’d blame a cop for shooting him. The poor bastard probably needs to be put out of his misery.
Anyway, that’s it for now.
End of Transmission
Last night was much better. In the first show I had a solid set. After a couple of bad shows, it was nice to get that monkey off my back. I felt it was a little wordy in spots, but overall it went really well. The second show kicked ass. The audience was quite rowdy, but I managed to turn that into big laughter quite quickly. I had to smack down a heckler, but it took only one tap, and it was done. He decided early in our confrontation that it was a brighter idea to sit quietly and behave for me. After that, the show was all gravy. The M.C on the other hand, was less than impressed with the audience, and seemed to get a little belligerent after the show.
I understood his point of view, and in spirit I was right there with him, but it served no purpose to get uppity about it. The damage was done, and nothing could change that. Friday late show crowds are always loud and obnoxious. It doesn’t matter where you are in the country; Friday late shows always have the potential to get out of hand. It’s a fact, and just one of the many hazards of the job. Sure it’s frustrating, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.
Actually, he’s a bit of an odd duck. There is a lot of anger brewing inside him. Half the time, he comes off as cold, and speaks only when he’s been spoken too. Then he changes, and becomes chatty. It’s like a little switch has been flipped. I’m not sure if he’s shy, or just a dick. Oddly though, I like the guy. Maybe it’s because I see a fair amount of myself in him. The biggest difference between us is that I have managed to quell some of the bitterness, and he is enveloped by it.
Onto other stuff…
The diet is still going well. I haven’t had a much of a chance to work out this week, but I will get back at it with earnest on Sunday. I’m feeling really good. I’ve gotten stronger, and better still, my appetite has diminished to something more reasonable…
To reward myself for staying true to the diet, I bought myself a pair of old school Vans skate shoes. I love them. They are sooooo comfy. I’d forgotten how much I love them.
Next…
There’s a new band (to me anyway…) called Bloc Party. I like them. They’re quite heavy, but have really catchy melodies. There is a lot of big woody sounding bass and loud crisp, snappy drums. If you like Yo la Tengo, Fugazi or Superchunk, then this is a disc for you.
Now to the strange…
Apparently, last night there was a man shot by the police here in Calgary. According to the newspaper, he was wielding a sword. That’s a little nutty. What kind of person carries a sword? (Excusing the historical context for a minute…) Perhaps he watched too many episodes of “The Highlander.” (I would argue that any number greater than 1 episode is too many… but I digress…) Anyway he got shot. I’m not sure I’d blame a cop for shooting him. The poor bastard probably needs to be put out of his misery.
Anyway, that’s it for now.
End of Transmission
Thursday, April 14, 2005
04/14/05 Just a quick note.
I worked out tonight, but I found it hard to get into a groove. I spent 30 min on the bike, but I just couldn’t find a comfortable pace. I was somewhat distracted, and my legs were a little bit stiffer than I would have liked.
So far I seem to be doing well with my diet and workout routine. It’s not hard, quite the opposite actually. I haven’t really had many cravings, and I get to eat what I like, just in smaller portions. I find I’m not as hungry as I used to be. I needed to use a tighter notch on my belt today. It’s nice to see a little bit of payoff.
I’m feeling physically stronger than I have in a long, long time. I’m getting that satisfactory ache in my muscles, the kind you get after some good exercise. I feel like I’m accomplishing something. Hopefully I’ll be back to my old weight in no time flat. (The toning doesn’t hurt either.)
I said that this would be the year of changes, and so far so good. My new, and healthier attitude is affecting more and more parts of my life. (And I’ve never had this much soup before…)
Tonight, I’m performing at Yuks. I’m the middle guy. I can’t wait. I haven’t been on stage for 30 minutes for quite some time. I’m gonna have a blast.
More to come.
So far I seem to be doing well with my diet and workout routine. It’s not hard, quite the opposite actually. I haven’t really had many cravings, and I get to eat what I like, just in smaller portions. I find I’m not as hungry as I used to be. I needed to use a tighter notch on my belt today. It’s nice to see a little bit of payoff.
I’m feeling physically stronger than I have in a long, long time. I’m getting that satisfactory ache in my muscles, the kind you get after some good exercise. I feel like I’m accomplishing something. Hopefully I’ll be back to my old weight in no time flat. (The toning doesn’t hurt either.)
I said that this would be the year of changes, and so far so good. My new, and healthier attitude is affecting more and more parts of my life. (And I’ve never had this much soup before…)
Tonight, I’m performing at Yuks. I’m the middle guy. I can’t wait. I haven’t been on stage for 30 minutes for quite some time. I’m gonna have a blast.
More to come.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
04/10/05 More Stuff About Me...
Some more things about me:
1) My favorite colour is maroon. (With a little more red than purple…)
2) My new favorite food is Chicken Shawarma.
3) I've switched to Camel lights.
4) My favorite movie villain is Darth Vader.
5) My favorite scotch is Laphroag.
6) I have never been “a little bit country.”
7) I hate Microsoft. (More than most…)
8) I love table hockey. Air hockey is good too.
9) I ate a “Lean Cuisine” frozen meal tonight. (It wasn't great… but so far it hasn't killed me…)
10) There is a pack of “Spiderman” brand candy cigarettes on my bookshelf. They've been there since last April. My friend
Michelle gave them to me. They will likely be there next April.
11) I have never purchased a Pez dispenser, and yet I have about 10 of them.
12) I like really dry books. (How many of you have a copy of “The Letters of Marshall McLuhan” in your collection?)
13) Few things beat a good documentary.
14) I have been in my apartment over a year, and there are still boxes that have been unopened.
15) My favorite comic book hero is Hellboy.
16) I have a really cool younger sister. Her name is Charlotte.
1) My favorite colour is maroon. (With a little more red than purple…)
2) My new favorite food is Chicken Shawarma.
3) I've switched to Camel lights.
4) My favorite movie villain is Darth Vader.
5) My favorite scotch is Laphroag.
6) I have never been “a little bit country.”
7) I hate Microsoft. (More than most…)
8) I love table hockey. Air hockey is good too.
9) I ate a “Lean Cuisine” frozen meal tonight. (It wasn't great… but so far it hasn't killed me…)
10) There is a pack of “Spiderman” brand candy cigarettes on my bookshelf. They've been there since last April. My friend
Michelle gave them to me. They will likely be there next April.
11) I have never purchased a Pez dispenser, and yet I have about 10 of them.
12) I like really dry books. (How many of you have a copy of “The Letters of Marshall McLuhan” in your collection?)
13) Few things beat a good documentary.
14) I have been in my apartment over a year, and there are still boxes that have been unopened.
15) My favorite comic book hero is Hellboy.
16) I have a really cool younger sister. Her name is Charlotte.
04/10/05 Three Ghosts and a Cuppa Coffee...
It's 9:30pm. I'm trying something a little new. I've gone to a café to write. I'm hoping that the different stimuli will encourage me. This place has a bohemian meets corrugated steel kind of feel to it. There are some quite neat black and white photos posted on the walls, and different colours everywhere. A man behind me is blowing into a digery doo. Ordinarily I'd prefer a digery don't, but right now it seems to work for me. This place has a comfort to it. It's not sterile, but it's not like a jungle here either.
The cafe is called “The Planet.” It kinda has a community feel to it. Artists of every variety and flavour come here to shoot the shit and fuel up on desperately needed caffeine. I used to be a regular here, but that was several years ago, before I met Erin, before Stand up became a job, and before I cared about things like RRSPs, mutual funds, and equity.
Sometimes I wish three ghosts would come and visit me. I'd like to meet the ghosts of Marcus past, present, and future. I wonder what they could offer me? What transgressions would they try to rectify? What would they help me rejoice? It's too bad that couldn't really happen (as near as I can tell…) because it would be an excellent tool to aid in the progress of human social evolution.
That would be killer… Like a Geiger counter designed to sniff out antisocial behavior, and help nip it in the bud before it became a something more, something larger and more difficult to challenge successfully. Imagine all the shit in your life that could have been stopped. The more I think about it, the more the concept flattens me.
I have started to look back a little on the things that have gotten me to here. I'm amazed that I became the man I am. There are so many things that haunt me, choices I've made (that while they have made the difference is a few cases…) I wish I could go back and spend a little more time thinking in future tense rather than past tense. A good example here would be my first marriage. I was young, and I'm not sure what I was thinking. Whatever it was, a dose of sober second thought would have been brilliant.
Currently I think I have been spending a lot of time with the ghost of Marcus present. There are some revelations that are surfacing that I'm not sure I like too much. For instance, I have discovered that I'm a rather typical male. (Happily not much of an alpha male…) I like beer and meat, with sports running a close third. (Not to mention sex and all it's glorious trappings…) I'm trying to see past the perceived failings of my gender, and rise above the things that make us stubborn, petulant, stupid, stereotypical, macho, and emotionally bankrupt.
Where I differ in most respects comes mostly from my parents. They encouraged me to seek answers wherever I could. They spent a lot of time carting me and my sister to things that would help us see the world differently. I was a museum rat just as much as I was a rink rat, and I liked a good dose of classical music along with my Dead Kennedys. (Although I would never admit to it back then…) They did so many things to try and round out our characters. They wanted us to be more than normal, more than mediocre, and I think they succeeded brilliantly.
All that stuff rubbed off really well. I have spent the last 15 years trying as many different things as possible. Just looking at the list of jobs I've done so far is telling. It's such a mixed bag of stuff. I have worked in radio, retail (mostly camera and record stores…), new media, filmmaking, market research, photography, and my favorite so far, Stand up.
More importantly I have been a man with many, many hats. I have been (and likely still will be… as least most of them…) a friend, a best friend, a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, a lifesaver, a person in need of saving, a villain, a hero, a radical, an enemy, a bastard, and a prince. (Not to mention Rock Star, and Prophet… but those are new… and they need to be broken in a little more…)
Those are the real Lego blocks of my personality. Those are the things that have the most value to me. They have made a curious shape to me. So far so good I guess.
I'm excited to meet the next ghost. Marcus future should have some interesting things to say.
End of Transmission
The cafe is called “The Planet.” It kinda has a community feel to it. Artists of every variety and flavour come here to shoot the shit and fuel up on desperately needed caffeine. I used to be a regular here, but that was several years ago, before I met Erin, before Stand up became a job, and before I cared about things like RRSPs, mutual funds, and equity.
Sometimes I wish three ghosts would come and visit me. I'd like to meet the ghosts of Marcus past, present, and future. I wonder what they could offer me? What transgressions would they try to rectify? What would they help me rejoice? It's too bad that couldn't really happen (as near as I can tell…) because it would be an excellent tool to aid in the progress of human social evolution.
That would be killer… Like a Geiger counter designed to sniff out antisocial behavior, and help nip it in the bud before it became a something more, something larger and more difficult to challenge successfully. Imagine all the shit in your life that could have been stopped. The more I think about it, the more the concept flattens me.
I have started to look back a little on the things that have gotten me to here. I'm amazed that I became the man I am. There are so many things that haunt me, choices I've made (that while they have made the difference is a few cases…) I wish I could go back and spend a little more time thinking in future tense rather than past tense. A good example here would be my first marriage. I was young, and I'm not sure what I was thinking. Whatever it was, a dose of sober second thought would have been brilliant.
Currently I think I have been spending a lot of time with the ghost of Marcus present. There are some revelations that are surfacing that I'm not sure I like too much. For instance, I have discovered that I'm a rather typical male. (Happily not much of an alpha male…) I like beer and meat, with sports running a close third. (Not to mention sex and all it's glorious trappings…) I'm trying to see past the perceived failings of my gender, and rise above the things that make us stubborn, petulant, stupid, stereotypical, macho, and emotionally bankrupt.
Where I differ in most respects comes mostly from my parents. They encouraged me to seek answers wherever I could. They spent a lot of time carting me and my sister to things that would help us see the world differently. I was a museum rat just as much as I was a rink rat, and I liked a good dose of classical music along with my Dead Kennedys. (Although I would never admit to it back then…) They did so many things to try and round out our characters. They wanted us to be more than normal, more than mediocre, and I think they succeeded brilliantly.
All that stuff rubbed off really well. I have spent the last 15 years trying as many different things as possible. Just looking at the list of jobs I've done so far is telling. It's such a mixed bag of stuff. I have worked in radio, retail (mostly camera and record stores…), new media, filmmaking, market research, photography, and my favorite so far, Stand up.
More importantly I have been a man with many, many hats. I have been (and likely still will be… as least most of them…) a friend, a best friend, a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, a lifesaver, a person in need of saving, a villain, a hero, a radical, an enemy, a bastard, and a prince. (Not to mention Rock Star, and Prophet… but those are new… and they need to be broken in a little more…)
Those are the real Lego blocks of my personality. Those are the things that have the most value to me. They have made a curious shape to me. So far so good I guess.
I'm excited to meet the next ghost. Marcus future should have some interesting things to say.
End of Transmission
Saturday, April 09, 2005
04/09/05
It's late, and as per usual, I'm sitting in front of the computer, trying to exorcise enough demons so I can close my eyes and rest. I've run myself down to a point where I actually saw stars and got a little dizzy. I'm pretty sure that's not a good sign. I had an orange and some coffee, which helped me out tremendously.
There is something tormenting me. I can't put my finger on it, but I can feel it chewing at the back of my brain. Maybe if I can figure it out, I'll begin to sleep like a little lamb.
It's 2:45, and I'm flipping channels. There isn't much on. Just a few re-runs of ancient “Just For Laughs” galas, and truly awful French soft-core porn. Either way there's a host of bad mustaches and people who generally have more hair than perhaps they should. God bless Bravo for giving the public the magical gift of ugly people fucking. (What a treat!!!) I guess any love is good love, even if it's hard to look at.
My day was shit. I was stressed to the max. A project I have been shepherding is giving me some grief. It's been a total gong show. There has been some outside interference that is making it more difficult than it really needs to be. My coworkers all noticed that I was out of sorts about it. Life would be great if we could live without external pressures. I think I need to live in a giant plastic bubble, or better yet, on an island that has not even the slightest shred of petty politics. I think I'm beginning to get a good understanding of the Amish. I'm willing to bet that besides the odd barn raising, life isn't really all that hectic around their parts. I bet they sleep better than I do too.
I think I need some time for me. I haven't really had much of it since I got back from Toronto. Any time I do get seems to be taken up by much needed sleep. I think I need a day or two of wandering around, and It's likely that I need to see some friends. For the first time in my life, all my close friends are scattered across the universe, and I am here away from them all. I'm just feeling a little lonely.
Maybe a trip to the museum would help. Feeding my brain usually helps. The physical manifestations of other people's thought, ideas, and feelings tend to ground me a little. It really doesn't matter if it's a sculpture, or a painting, or some dusty artifact, there's something about them that connects me to myself. I'm at a loss to explain why, it just does.
Maybe I look to the past for inspiration. Seeing the ingenuity of people from ancient cultures might very well be what entices me. Perhaps that requires further investigation.
I'd like to get good and stinking drunk too, but that is less likely to occur due to the new dietary restrictions.
Anyway I think I'm tired enough to crash.
End of Transmission
There is something tormenting me. I can't put my finger on it, but I can feel it chewing at the back of my brain. Maybe if I can figure it out, I'll begin to sleep like a little lamb.
It's 2:45, and I'm flipping channels. There isn't much on. Just a few re-runs of ancient “Just For Laughs” galas, and truly awful French soft-core porn. Either way there's a host of bad mustaches and people who generally have more hair than perhaps they should. God bless Bravo for giving the public the magical gift of ugly people fucking. (What a treat!!!) I guess any love is good love, even if it's hard to look at.
My day was shit. I was stressed to the max. A project I have been shepherding is giving me some grief. It's been a total gong show. There has been some outside interference that is making it more difficult than it really needs to be. My coworkers all noticed that I was out of sorts about it. Life would be great if we could live without external pressures. I think I need to live in a giant plastic bubble, or better yet, on an island that has not even the slightest shred of petty politics. I think I'm beginning to get a good understanding of the Amish. I'm willing to bet that besides the odd barn raising, life isn't really all that hectic around their parts. I bet they sleep better than I do too.
I think I need some time for me. I haven't really had much of it since I got back from Toronto. Any time I do get seems to be taken up by much needed sleep. I think I need a day or two of wandering around, and It's likely that I need to see some friends. For the first time in my life, all my close friends are scattered across the universe, and I am here away from them all. I'm just feeling a little lonely.
Maybe a trip to the museum would help. Feeding my brain usually helps. The physical manifestations of other people's thought, ideas, and feelings tend to ground me a little. It really doesn't matter if it's a sculpture, or a painting, or some dusty artifact, there's something about them that connects me to myself. I'm at a loss to explain why, it just does.
Maybe I look to the past for inspiration. Seeing the ingenuity of people from ancient cultures might very well be what entices me. Perhaps that requires further investigation.
I'd like to get good and stinking drunk too, but that is less likely to occur due to the new dietary restrictions.
Anyway I think I'm tired enough to crash.
End of Transmission
Thursday, April 07, 2005
04/07/05 Wow what a shit show...
Damn, I can't sleep again tonight. I wish I could just shut my brain off. Over the years I've tried just about everything, and nothing seems to work. I'm beginning to think the only solution would be a rubber mallet right between the eyes.
Next…
Tonight's show should best be described as a piece of shit. The audience was terrible. I watched the MC, and Matt Billon go down in flames. For some reason, I knew that this show was going to suck ass. My set really didn't help matters much. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a whopping fuck all… and that folks is being generous.
It amazes me how people can come to a comedy show and sit there like bored pieces of shit. I always want to ask them why they came. They just sat there, blinking, occasionally looking as if they just might have pooped their pants. Fuckers… It got so bad that at on point I told the audience, (all 100 plus…) that I would love to meet them outside. I let them know that I was willing to fight them all. Sadly, I meant every word.
It's really frustrating when you bomb, and you know it's not your fault, but how do convince that many people that it's theirs? Now I know why Bruce Cockburn wanted a rocket launcher, because those people must pay.
Okay… perhaps I've gone too far, and besides some things really are better left to my imagination. (Or at least to my inner monologue…)
At least I tried a new joke, and the mangina joke worked again, but it still needs to be streamlined. It's got a lot of promise, but there's too much fat. I have a new joke about the pope's passing too, but I deiced not to waste it on a crappy crowd.
Next…
I worked out today. I spent 40 minutes on the exercise bike. I had a really good sweat going too. Hopefully all this cardio is doing some good. I can't wait to be all lean and trim. Mostly though, I'm excited at the prospect of being able to climb a couple of flights of stairs without being winded.
Next…
Tonight's show should best be described as a piece of shit. The audience was terrible. I watched the MC, and Matt Billon go down in flames. For some reason, I knew that this show was going to suck ass. My set really didn't help matters much. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a whopping fuck all… and that folks is being generous.
It amazes me how people can come to a comedy show and sit there like bored pieces of shit. I always want to ask them why they came. They just sat there, blinking, occasionally looking as if they just might have pooped their pants. Fuckers… It got so bad that at on point I told the audience, (all 100 plus…) that I would love to meet them outside. I let them know that I was willing to fight them all. Sadly, I meant every word.
It's really frustrating when you bomb, and you know it's not your fault, but how do convince that many people that it's theirs? Now I know why Bruce Cockburn wanted a rocket launcher, because those people must pay.
Okay… perhaps I've gone too far, and besides some things really are better left to my imagination. (Or at least to my inner monologue…)
At least I tried a new joke, and the mangina joke worked again, but it still needs to be streamlined. It's got a lot of promise, but there's too much fat. I have a new joke about the pope's passing too, but I deiced not to waste it on a crappy crowd.
Next…
I worked out today. I spent 40 minutes on the exercise bike. I had a really good sweat going too. Hopefully all this cardio is doing some good. I can't wait to be all lean and trim. Mostly though, I'm excited at the prospect of being able to climb a couple of flights of stairs without being winded.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
04/05/05
After much nagging by my friends, and even more gnashing of my own teeth, I finally cracked. I watched Jerry Seinfeld's Comedian. I have to admit, against my own natural prejudice I enjoyed it. (I have never been a fan of Seinfeld.)
It is refreshing to see someone of that caliber in the same boat as other comics. Mind you, Seinfeld has the luxury of getting stage time whenever he wants. Not that watching him develop a new act in such a short amount of time isn't impressive, but he has the cult of personality on his side, and I suspect that audiences forgive him more quickly than they would me.
Seeing him interact with his peer group was interesting too. It reminded me of my own cadre of misfits. I guess that comics function in cells, and my cell really isn't that different. I'd like to see a documentary about us one day. Looking back at our development would be just as interesting, perhaps more so.
The best part of the documentary was watching the misery that is Orny Adams. He came off like a freight train loaded for bare, and ready to go screaming off the rails. He did not disappoint. Watching someone drown while remaining buoyant is just about as curious a thing as I can think of.
He's a fascinating mix of foolish bravado and self-loathing. Take a dash of Pachino's attitude, and add a whole lot of Woody Allen. (Just subtract the same level of talent, the geeky glasses and the Vietnamese daughter / wife…) Watching him succeed, and then implode moments later, with even more impressive grandeur is a masochist's wet dream.
I think it's neat when people fuck themselves in public, because the fireworks are always splendid. Rubber necking to get a gawk at a grisly scene like that is a treat indeed.
I shouldn't revel in someone else's misery. It's not fair of me. Fuck it… It's just too much fun. It's like a spoonful of the best honey.
On to other things…
I have started on a new health plan. I'm working out, and have adopted the Weight Watchers point system. I need to shake the weight I've gained over the last 3 years. I'm feeling very positive about these changes. I've committed myself to them, and will not stop until I have achieved success. I've heard that part of having a sound mind, is having a sound body, so a change was needed.
Over the years, I've added and shed weight like Oprah Winfrey. I'm committed to slimming down and staying that way. I've gotten tired of people telling me that I look like Drew Carey. Fuck that… (Especially when followed by “not in that way… ” Because you total mean that way, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to qualify it…)
And for those of you that have said that to me over the years, I have just one thing to say… EAT ME you evil fuckers!!! Not once have I ever told anyone of you that you just might be the dumbest fucking people on earth. (Right next to Pammy Anderson in the stupidity gene pool…) If this offends you… Good… Right back at you bitches. If there's an after life, I'm going to be waiting… and you're gonna get a kick in the collective junk. For the record, I don't care if I get a few “bad karma” points in the process. To quote Eddie Izzard, “Personally I think you are all a bunch of bastards.”
Wow, I'm angrier about that than I thought.
It is refreshing to see someone of that caliber in the same boat as other comics. Mind you, Seinfeld has the luxury of getting stage time whenever he wants. Not that watching him develop a new act in such a short amount of time isn't impressive, but he has the cult of personality on his side, and I suspect that audiences forgive him more quickly than they would me.
Seeing him interact with his peer group was interesting too. It reminded me of my own cadre of misfits. I guess that comics function in cells, and my cell really isn't that different. I'd like to see a documentary about us one day. Looking back at our development would be just as interesting, perhaps more so.
The best part of the documentary was watching the misery that is Orny Adams. He came off like a freight train loaded for bare, and ready to go screaming off the rails. He did not disappoint. Watching someone drown while remaining buoyant is just about as curious a thing as I can think of.
He's a fascinating mix of foolish bravado and self-loathing. Take a dash of Pachino's attitude, and add a whole lot of Woody Allen. (Just subtract the same level of talent, the geeky glasses and the Vietnamese daughter / wife…) Watching him succeed, and then implode moments later, with even more impressive grandeur is a masochist's wet dream.
I think it's neat when people fuck themselves in public, because the fireworks are always splendid. Rubber necking to get a gawk at a grisly scene like that is a treat indeed.
I shouldn't revel in someone else's misery. It's not fair of me. Fuck it… It's just too much fun. It's like a spoonful of the best honey.
On to other things…
I have started on a new health plan. I'm working out, and have adopted the Weight Watchers point system. I need to shake the weight I've gained over the last 3 years. I'm feeling very positive about these changes. I've committed myself to them, and will not stop until I have achieved success. I've heard that part of having a sound mind, is having a sound body, so a change was needed.
Over the years, I've added and shed weight like Oprah Winfrey. I'm committed to slimming down and staying that way. I've gotten tired of people telling me that I look like Drew Carey. Fuck that… (Especially when followed by “not in that way… ” Because you total mean that way, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to qualify it…)
And for those of you that have said that to me over the years, I have just one thing to say… EAT ME you evil fuckers!!! Not once have I ever told anyone of you that you just might be the dumbest fucking people on earth. (Right next to Pammy Anderson in the stupidity gene pool…) If this offends you… Good… Right back at you bitches. If there's an after life, I'm going to be waiting… and you're gonna get a kick in the collective junk. For the record, I don't care if I get a few “bad karma” points in the process. To quote Eddie Izzard, “Personally I think you are all a bunch of bastards.”
Wow, I'm angrier about that than I thought.
04/05/05 The Pope and Mitch... a Buddy flick...
Well it's been a few days since I've written a post, and it seems like the world has been turned upside down. Terry Schaivo dies, the Pope dies, and Mitch Hedberg dies. They (Whoever the fuck “They” are... perhaps it's the fates speaking through our collective conscious, or a wheel of psycho bullshit that spins in the back of our heads, strapped to our ID by the underpinning of hearsay and diminished capacity.) say that bad news happens in threes.
It has been a week of reflection. The leader of the faith that I was born into, who was revered as the voice of God on earth by more than a billion people faded away, his the mortal coil extinguished from existence in the most passive of ways. People from every country on the earth mourn, and truthfully I'm not sure that I care.
Was Pope John Paul the second a good man? I think so, but I disagreed with so much that he stood for. Perhaps that's okay. Did I respect him as the leader of a faith that I find I have little in common with? I'm not sure. Maybe I'll never know, maybe as I get older, my interests will change, and I'll give it further reflection.
The death of Mitch Hedberg was more shaking to me. I think it's likely because we live in the same kind of place. The same pressures he lived under surround me. I have lesser demons than his that scourge me, but at least I am able to understand. He was the macrocosm to my current microcosm.
On to other stuff…
My boss at the day job gave me a cd today. It's pretty damn fantastic. For those of you that like smoky, torchy jazz, you will really dig this album.
Madeline Peyroux - Careless Love
Anyway tomorrow is a full day, and I need some sleep. For those of you that foolishly want see me live, you should go to Yuk Yuks this Wednesday. The show starts at 8pm sharp.
End of Transmission…
It has been a week of reflection. The leader of the faith that I was born into, who was revered as the voice of God on earth by more than a billion people faded away, his the mortal coil extinguished from existence in the most passive of ways. People from every country on the earth mourn, and truthfully I'm not sure that I care.
Was Pope John Paul the second a good man? I think so, but I disagreed with so much that he stood for. Perhaps that's okay. Did I respect him as the leader of a faith that I find I have little in common with? I'm not sure. Maybe I'll never know, maybe as I get older, my interests will change, and I'll give it further reflection.
The death of Mitch Hedberg was more shaking to me. I think it's likely because we live in the same kind of place. The same pressures he lived under surround me. I have lesser demons than his that scourge me, but at least I am able to understand. He was the macrocosm to my current microcosm.
On to other stuff…
My boss at the day job gave me a cd today. It's pretty damn fantastic. For those of you that like smoky, torchy jazz, you will really dig this album.
Madeline Peyroux - Careless Love
Anyway tomorrow is a full day, and I need some sleep. For those of you that foolishly want see me live, you should go to Yuk Yuks this Wednesday. The show starts at 8pm sharp.
End of Transmission…
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